Sunday, April 30, 2006

Another Energy Idea

Saying for the Day: Every little kilowatt counts.

Mr. President I’m back with another energy saving idea. I know you haven’t responded to my
little windmills or my cowpolene ideas yet. But I thought you might like another choice.
Actually this idea covers three areas. The energy crisis, global warming, and an out of shape obese population.
This idea doesn’t even require foreign scientists like the other two.
What we need to do is to get the guys at M.I.T. to design a stationary bike that when you ride it produces electricity. Then they need to design a simple system to feed that electricity into the power grid. This is certainly within the ability of our top people.
Then you need to find a company that knows how to make cheap copies of the system and mass produce it.
Now the government will give these bicycles to any obese person that requests one , at no charge.
Further they will get a small reduction in their electric bill for every kilowatt they produce.
Look at the results. A healthier, thinner population. This will save money for Medicare and take some pressure off of our health system.
It will mean less discharge from the power plant and thus less global warming.
It will cut down on the oil used helping to free us from those greedy Arab countries.
Further you could require it to be used for exercise in all federal prisons. You know that all they do in the exercise yard is fight anyway. You do watch the movies, don’t you.
Just think , every prisoner, pumping away. There will be enough juice to electrocute a few of them as well. Think of the savings when all our prisons become power independent.
Now of course this will require some work are on your part. You will need to get the newly elected Democratic Congress to pass the electric bicycle obesity bill of 2007. This will provide all the needed money. Just tell the Democrats its for the poor and they will climb on board ( you may lose a few Republicans though).
We need one other thing. We need the Vice President to stop hunting lawyers long enough to ride one of the new bikes for publicity shots.
You need to ride one too. You are our President and we should at least get a little energy from you.

9250 spins without a win. Old Hapless played canasta with his daughter-in-law and his daughter and really lost. He got wiped out. Well he wasn't alone Mrs. Hapless was his partner. Together they have lost more canasta games than one can count.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old Hapless doesn't get into another canasta game and win causing him to be so happy he can't blog. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter of "As the World Spins".

Started the morning with the entire family at a Green Bay water park. All the grandchildren and children were there. It was a great morning. We then went to Pete's house and celebrated Luke's birthday a few days early. We are back in Crystal Falls. It is always good to be home even when you enjoyed the trip. On the way back we stopped at Home Depot and Wal Mart. I ran into my nephew Kevin and we had a nice talk. Well I do need a breathing treatment.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Sweep the House Clean

Saying for the Day:There is nothing wrong with Washington that a good House cleaning can't fix.

I think its time for us to do a Donald Trump on the House of Representatives. It is time to fire them all.

Fire the Republicans because in two years they have produced nothing.
Fire the Democrats because all they have done is try to find things to blame the Republicans for.

The whole bunch has failed to work together for the good of the people who elected them. Note I said for the people who elected them not the people who financed them.

So we need a slogan like “Sweep the House Clean”. Or “We’ll elect no incumbent this time”.

If the incumbent is a Republican replace him or her with a Democrat or an Independent or even a new Republican. If it’s a Democrat replace him or her with a Republican or an Independent or even a new Democrat.

Party means nothing. We need to let them know that if they don’t produce we can fire them. We hired them based on their promises to serve us. They failed. It is now necessary to fire them.

I guarantee you if we did this things would change and change quickly. The new people would know their job depended on performance. They would perform.

Of course some really nice people who might even have tried hard have to be fired. They were part of the failure.

You want to fix what’s broken in Washington this is the way.

Just replacing the Republican majority with a Democratic majority won’t do it. It will be business as usual.

But if you clean the House things will change.

Now I need to find some rich person to pay for the buttons and the banners. Of course we’ll need some TV adds and maybe a website.

9200 spins without a prize. Old Hapless's grandson is the loser of the day. His parents told him he couldn't go to the train show if he didn't behave well at nursery school. Of course he didn't behave well so now all the other grand kids are going to the train show and he is left home. Of course Hapless loses too because he wanted the kid to come along. One loss leads to another.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if the parents don't repent and let the kid go causing Hapless to become so happy he forgets to blog. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter of " As the World Spins".

Perhaps we need one of those global things as we got lost this morning in Green Bay. We were on our way to Peter's house from the motel and took a wrong road. That's why I posted late since the laptop was at Peter's. We went to the train show and only bought 4 HO buildings for the train room layout. I almost bought an LGB engine for $160.00. My two sons went to the Packer draft party and Pat got sick. I don't think it was caused by the Packer draft choices. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Tagged again!

Saying for the Day: If anybody else tags me I'll tag them with a virus.

I got tagged by Fireheart and the tag involves something called
The 30-second Rule
Rules: Bold the following that are true about you, italicize things you wish were true, add one true thing about you.
I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch much TV these days.
I love olive rice.(I hate all rice)
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I've watched porn movies.(sad but true)
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.( But feel bad afterward)
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
I hate the rain.
I'm paranoid at times.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.(Linna's law applies-you always need more than you have)
I love sushi.(who can love raw fish)
I talk really, really fast.
I have fresh breath in the morning.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way that I look.
I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
I know how to cornrow.( I don't even know what it is)
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I think prostitution should be legalized.
I think Britney Spears is pretty.
I have a hidden talent.( I have no talent)
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal. (or Blog)
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in (a) God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I currently like someone.(my wife)
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (I'm having enough trouble figuring out THIS portion of my life)
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.(But I am a member of the Red Green fan club)
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn. I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I have scared people off with my enthusiasm.

I am shy around the opposite sex.
I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbour or chum.
I enjoy some country music. (old stuff, mostly)
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.(I hate pizza)
I watch soap operas whenever I can.(But sometimes)
I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend's ex.
I like surveys/memes.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.
I have pajamas with turtles on them
I am punk rockish.(or I was as a kid)
I am preppy.
I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.(have shoes with no laces)
I can work on a car.
I loved my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
I believe in prophetic dreams.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient on a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went to college out of state.
I am adopted.
I like sausage.
I am a pyro. ( But I absolutely love fireworks)
I love the Red Sox.
I have thrown up from crying too much.
I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. ( No, but I thought I was)
I love kisses. (But only from my wife or the chocolate kind)
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colors.
I love Dear Abby.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I think school is awesome.
I think pigtails serve a purpose.
I don't know why I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I don't like multi-textured ice cream.
I think John Cusack is adorable.
I f**king hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.
I watch Food Network way too much.
I love coaching youth sports.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I would not be friends if they weren't family.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I love vaginas.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know who Santos L. Halper is.
I read trashy romance novels and I am ashamed.
I love wrestling.
I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.( I can't even kill squirels)
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
I am an artist.
I have a goal to collect every Johnny Depp movie ever made.
I have an unhealthy Taco Bell obsession.
I have had a crush on a cartoon character when I was a kid.
I have spent more on anime and manga than many spend on computers or other high end products.
I only clean my room when neccesary.
Weight is my enemy!I'm a serious chocoholic.
I absolutely adore animals.
I love surprises.
I love to be seen.
I often act without feeling for people.
I like arguing for the sake of arguing.
I think most girls look better with spectacles
My skin is peeling because i had been under the sun.
I want to ORD.
I like women who are much taller than me.
I bite/chew my nails.
I love safron buns.

I have decided to tag only my wife. It has to end somewhere. But I want to see what her answers are.
9150 spins without a win. Hapless has a new greed program he watches. A group of people are locked in a bunker with a million and one half dollars. All they have to do to get out of the bunker is to agree on one person to give all the money . The problem is that every second that passes without a unanimous decision results in $1.00 taken from the amount. The sum is now down to less than half a million so you can see they have had a hard time deciding on who to give the money. They lie. They distort. They try in every way to get the money for themselves and the clock keeps ticking. Here is a whole bunker full of losers.
Well Uncle Wiggly Lovers if Old Hapless doesn't end up in the next bunker full of losers and thus not be allowed to blog until they agree. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter of "As the World Spins".

Added a new top ten list to he Church Web page along with Sunday's bulletin. Now we are getting ready to go to Green Bay. If I get a chance I will blog from there. The daughter-in-law I'm going to visit has a great list of things she doesn't like on her blog. Worth reading. Another ten list worth reading is at "A Penny for Your Thoughts" We made it to Green Bay. We stopped at Wal Mart on the way down and mark the day on your calendar because we didn't buy anything. Tomorrow we will go to the Train Show. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Some things about kids!

Saying for the Day: Good parents sometimes raise good kids.

A lot of parents out there seem to be having trouble raising kids. So I have decided to share some things I learned while mine were growing up and after.

1. Even good, honest, well behaved kids lie. I didn’t know that when they were growing up. In general I believed everything they told me. ( I was gullible) But now they keep telling me things from back then that they lied about. Like that goldfish that they said jumped out of the aquarium ( which seemed reasonable to me) was really dropped on the floor by one of my sons. And the bb we had to have removed from one son wasn’t an accident they were shooting at each other.( They thought they had enough clothes to protect from the bb going through) They only told me this because I complained about some family that was shooting bb’s at each other and they read it on the blog. Its strange how honest they get now.

2. Some of what they don’t tell you, you really don’t want to know.Kids don’t want to upset their parents so they keep really upsetting things from you. Like Patrick just now told me that if he hadn’t caught Peter when he fell out of the tree I told him not to climb he would have broken something else. I didn’t really need to know that then. Come to think of it I don’t really need to know that now.

3. Kids are very good at placing the blame on somebody else. When the nice police man brought one of my sons home because he was on top of the dime store roof it was of course the fault of the friend he was up there with.( At least he didn’t end up in jail). I had a friend who asked his 2 1/2 year old if he had wet his pants. The kid answered “No , Janet (the sister) did it.”

4. Kids soon learn your weakest points and take advantage of them. My wife and I were sound sleepers so my two wonderful boys waited until we went to sleep and then snuck out the window of their bedroom and went who knows where. We would never have known this if we hadn’t gone away for a weekend and left my mother in charge. She was not a sound sleeper and caught them going out the window. That’s why when they went away to college I arranged for them to stay at Grandma’s house. They thought it was to save money.

5. Despite all of that if you love them and set a good example they will grow up to be good people ( a little luck and some intervention by God doesn’t hurt either). Then they will have to figure out how to raise their kids.

9100 spins without a prize. Well Old Hapless entered the home game on "Deal or No Deal" again.
He even got the number right but of course he didn't win. He is simply not lucky. Perhaps he needs a good luck charm. You know something to hold onto like Dumbo's feather. He wonders what good luck charms sell for these days.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Old Hapless doesn't get a good luck charm and win a million thus causing him to take an extended vacation to Finland. We will beback tomorrow with another chapter of " As the World Spins"

Well I got two of the trestles out to the layout. They aren't in place yet but they are out. Betty went to the bank to get money for the Green Bay trip. If you read my son's comments on today's entry you will see that though my points may be right my memory is not perfect. In the afternoon we put out the trestles only to discover we need at least three more . Our engineer guessed wrong on the height of the track coming through the mountain. If he didn't work so cheap we'd fire him. Then Betty and I put together eight solar lights and put them out on the layout to see if they work. Netty has begun to pack the car for tomorrow so that we can leave as early as possible. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Don't let the kids get broken

Saying for the day: It is the parent's job to keep their children unbroken until they are adults. But some kids break anyway.

I read in a Kristi’s blog ( The Chaotic World of Kristi) about a great day she had with her children and it brought back memories of my children and the wonderful times we had. She also mentioned the possibility that one of her kids would end up in the ER with broken stuff.

That brought back to my mind four trips to the ER with my kids. There was one trip for each kid and one extra. ( My wife says that Pennie broke some other things but I don‘t remember those).

The first was with my daughter Pennie. She was about three and running across the lawn of the house next door. They were putting a new roof on the house and she tripped over a board. She put her arm down to catch herself and it broke. The break was not obvious but when she wouldn’t stop crying we took her to the ER. Sure enough the arm was broken. She spent most of the summer in a cast . That was really rough for her because we went to Yoggi Bear park and the cast really slowed her down and put a crimp in the swimming (though we wrapped it with plastic wrap so she could sit in the pool).

The next was my son Peter. This time we as parents were blameless. This time the school broke it. He was in gym class (sadism 103). He was wrestling and a boy kicked him in the arm as he had his weight on it and it broke. The coach wouldn’t listen to him. He told the kid he was faking. So Peter set his own arm and when class was over went to the office and called home. Our trip to the ER gave us an x-ray that showed Peter was right. He spent a good part of that fall in a cast. Just shows you what a good education can do for you. We told the school if they let my son Patrick wrestle and broke his arm they get to pay for it. They didn’t let Pat wrestle.

Finally in the arm department comes Patrick who thought he could fly and did, sort of. He jumped from the top of the swing set and was supposed to land in a pile of leaves but he flew over the leaf pile and landed on his arm which snapped. I mean it broke. It looked like the bow on a bow and arrow. We took him to the ER and told the nurse he had a broken arm. She said he doesn’t have a broken arm until the doctor says he has a broken arm. I know there is hospital procedure but some things are obvious. When the doctor finally arrived he put the arm in a cast and it was Pat’s turn to be miserable.

The last visit came with Peter. We talked him out of playing football because we figured it was too dangerous for him and we didn’t want anymore broken bones. We took all three kids to the quarter final football game in Escanaba. During the half he was playing keep away with somebody’s hat when a rather heavy girl stepped on his foot. By the end of the game it had swelled up like a balloon so we ended up in the ER. They were so breakable you couldn’t even take them to a football game without the risk of injury. He spent a couple of weeks on crutches .

At the time these were horrible moments but looking back on them they weren't so bad. We took three tree climbing, bicycle riding, highly active kids and got them through to adulthood pretty much in one piece.

9050 spins without a prize. Old Hapless doesn't have a clue as to how to win at He has tried spinning early in the morning, at noon, and late at night. He has tried spinning all fifty spins one after the other. He has tried waiting after each spin. He can't think of anything else to do. He just can't win on that slot machine. Now winning must be possible because this is run by CBS and they wouldn't run a fake machine with prizes they never give away. So he just has to have no luck at all. But he will keep spinning.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Old Hapless doesn't win a prize causing a rift in interdimensional space thus throwing him into a different world. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter of "As the World Spins"

I ate the last Easter egg this morning. Rejoice with me. I don't have to face another day and another colored hard boiled egg. Now I can start trying to get my cholesterol back down. I have added another link to my links. "Show Them Through Me" has a wonderful set of links to openly Christian blogs that I spent part of the morning looking at. Betty went to Tops and came home very upset. So upset she ate ( this after attending a weight loss group). In the afternoon we put the first building on the outside layout but not in the town. We started getting the ground ready for Pigeon Falls. Tomorrow we may check the tracks which look to be in good shape. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Worst Honeymoon Ever !!!

Saying for the Day: Fear is not an aphrodisiac.

We reach into the artifact box and out comes the shell of a used roman candle. This takes me back to my honeymoon .

We were, you remember, hopelessly in love. I dreamed of the honeymoon night. I fantasized about the honeymoon night. It was going to be great.

Of course there was one little problem we were both virgins. That , of course, should be a virtue not a problem.

But a week before the wedding something terrible happened. The mechanism needed for the honeymoon quit working. It just up ( bad choice of words) and quit. Imagine ED at 23 and no Viagra.

No fantasy, no daydream could make it work.

So I did what I always do when confronted with the unknown I bought a book. It was called “ The Wedding Night”. In the book I was told that sometimes fear caused the mechanism ( strange term) to shut down (better word than up). I was afraid.

So now I knew the problem. What was the solution?

The book said “Relax, it’ll work out”. Ya sure it will.

I was afraid I would fail. I was afraid I would disappoint her. I was afraid I would do something dumb. Fear is not an aphrodisiac.

So the night came. We were at my Aunt Doris’s camp. When we left the reception an old guy from my intern parish said “ Have fun kids”.
Fun I was in agony.

When we got to the camp it was already getting dark so I fired off the roman candles we brought with us to celebrate. ( A stalling tactic). That’s where the artifact comes from.

Then we went to bed. We turned off the gas lights. There was no electricity. She was wearing an erotic Virginia Secrets type negligee . We kissed , we touched. And nothing happened. Nothing happened!!!

We kept trying and just when it looked like something might save me IT hit the garbage can. IT made lots of noise. We were sure IT was a bear and not a raccoon. Now we had a new fear. The door of the camp was not very sturdy. Again fear is not an aphrodisiac.

WE spent the rest of the night huddled together praying we wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom. The bathroom was an outhouse 40 yards from the camp building ( it seemed like a mile) . We would have to go by IT to get there.

In the morning when we saw the damage to the garbage can we were sure IT was a bear. We packed up and went to my parent’s house. We packed everything and left for Chicago . We pretended the night was wonderful.

I was sure there was an annulment in our future. I had failed. I had failed.

However, in the car on the way down. Kathryn did something that ended all my fears.

That night at the seminary the real honeymoon took place and it was grand. It was trully grand.

So despite Betty saying I should throw the shell of the roman candle away I keep it. It reminds me of a horrible and a wonderful night.

9000 spins without a win. That's a milestone. Today we should be having the great losers party that old Hapless has been planning. However he decided to put it off until he reaches 10,000. Not just because 10,000 looks nicer but because right now the house is all cluttered with train stuff as he gets ready for the return of Pigeon Falls. It just isn't ready for a big party and with lots of losers out there the party is bound to be big. He's inviting all Packer and Lion's fans. The way the Tiger's have been going in the last week he may invite their fans too.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Old Hapless doesn't narrow down that invitation list and thus invite too many people for the house causing the fuses to blow and the computer to go down. we will be back tomorrow with another chapter of " As The World Spins"

Well the honeymoon is over and only three questions remain. How long does he stay married to Kathryn? Where does Betty come in? And of course , whatever happened to napkin girl? The good news is that all of these questions will be answered next Tuesday if we find the right artifact. When I got up this morning it was 28 degrees outside. It was good that we hadn't planted the flowers yet. It was too cold to work in the garage so I did some work on the computer while Betty cleaned house. It was an extra dull day. Betty has gone to Bible study and I will have a breathing treatment as soon as she comes home.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Stop by and have a cup of coffee!

Saying for the day: A kind word gladens the heart and lifts the soul.

It’s Monday and I have been out trying to leave comments on all the random blogs I visit. Every Monday I get up early and go to blog explosion and visit random blogs for 30 minutes to an hour.

The purpose of the visits is not to get credits but to leave comments. So I can take my time and think before I act.

I try to think of my visit as stopping by your house for a cup of coffee. It would not be polite for me to come in , drink your coffee, and listen to your stories and not say anything.

But this is often the way we treat our fellow bloggers. We stop by and read what they have struggled so hard to share with us and say nothing. We don’t tell them how good they made us feel or how helpful their information was to us. We don’t tell them we understand what they are going through.

We just come and go and it as if we were never there at all. How unkind of us.

So every Monday I try to be a good blog neighbor and leave comments.
I suppose I should do it every day but I don’t have the time.

On other days I only visit the blogs of friends and you always talk with friends.

8950 spins without a win. Tomorrow we reach 9000. When old hapless started spinning he never believed you could spin the slot machine that many times and not win a prize. Why would CBS do that to a person. It just doesn't seem logical. But here he is fifty spins away from 9000 and fairly sure that he will reach that number without winning. In fact not winning at IWON now seems like the normal every day thing. How times change. But he hasn't quit that either shows advanced stupidity or real Finnish sisu.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old Hapless doesn't win a prize tomorrow thus ending his fantastic losing streak and causing his computer to implode. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter of " As the World Spins".

Had a horrible time putting up this entry. I started at 6:00 and didn't get it published until 12:30. Blogger is such fun. This morning Betty and I poured the cement for the main street of Pigeon Falls. Well for half of it. Blogger went down again in the afternoon for about an hour. How can I get any comments if it keeps going down on "Leave a Comment Monday"? In the afternoon Betty made a dentist office from a kit for the outside layout. I cleaned the garage until it got too cold to work. They should make a movie of me cleaning it would be really funny. I clean sitting down on my walker and keep droping things. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Never Get Lost Again

Saying for the day: With this device you can tell where you are within six feet.

We live in a wonderful , marvelous age.

When I was younger and we used to go on long trips we got lost a lot. That was because my wife couldn’t read a map if her life depended on it.(Before my children point it out I couldn't either. But I was driving.)

Our favorite cartoon of that period of our life was one that showed a woman with a map saying to the driver “According to the map we are in the middle of the lake”. It was kind of a standing joke. We would get lost and I would ask (sarcastically) “Where are we.?” and my wife would reply “We are in the middle of the lake”. And we would laugh. (What else could you do and stay married?)

Now, thanks to modern science, we have global positioning satellites .
They not only can tell you how to get to where your going but they can tell you just where you are. Now if you can afford one of those little boxes for the car you are safe.

That is unless you live in England. It seems that some people in England believe those little boxes to be infallible. Iin the Wiltshire village of Luckington there is a place where the river has flooded the road. Motorists, however, are following the directions of their little satellite box and drive right into the river. Then for around $40 a nice local farmer will tow them out.

I can hear the driver now “But dear according to the satellite there is a road here and we are on it.”

At least, though we got lost, we never drove into a lake or a river.

I guess I can live without the magic box.

Besides she drives now and I read her the directions from Map Quest.( If I remember to take them)

8900 spins without a prize. Today Old Hapless thought he really had won something. He was told he had won a bag of jelly beans. All he had to do was type in his e-mail address to begin (he should have caught that to begin). Now they couldn't expect him to jump through hoops for a little bag of jelly beans could they? But when he got to the next steps they decided to give him $125 worth of groceries as well. Now they could drag out the two from page one, three from page two, and four from page three hoops. So with sadness he hit the corner x.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Old Hapless doesn't decide he needs those jelly beans so badly that he starts hoop jumpimg and forgets to blog. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter in " As the World Spins".

Had another Easter Egg for breakfast. There are only six left. If my daughter comes home next year at Easter and suggests coloring eggs she has to agree to take them home with her. ( I suppose I could throw them at the rabbit that has joined the deer in eating my flowers). WE got the main street of Pigeon Falls (first four feet) ready for the cement today. The sidewalks are glued in place and the entire unit is varnished. Betty built a doctor's office, from a kit, for the outside layout . Well I need a breathing treatment.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

God bless Rosey!!!

Saying for the Day: Sometimes an old poster is the best medicine one can find.

Recently Mimi at Mind of Mimi showed some World War I and World War II posters that reminded me of this poster from World War II. It is of Rosey the Riveter. It encouraged women to get out and do “men’s jobs” for the war effort.
This poster is very important to me not just because I grew up at a time when it was posted but because it was one of four things that helped to get me out of the hospital and back home when I came out of the comma.

Those four things were:
1. The presence of God ( who never left me)]
2. My wife ( she was there every day)
3. My family ( my sister visited every day and pushed)
4. This poster.

Soon after I came out of the comma ( which of course I didn’t know I was in) my sister brought a 1 1/2 by 2 foot tinplate of this poster. She put it on a shelf in front of the bed.

Every day when I thought learning to walk again was impossible there was Rosey saying “ We Can Do It”.

When the pain of those first steps in that horrible machine were more than I thought I could bear there was Rosey.

When I had to take the risk of walking with a walker with a wheel chair behind to catch me ( fat chance if I fell) there was Rosey.

I was caught up in my own little war and the poster from another war was on my side. I wanted to win that war.

I thought of it as I rolled the wheel chair around the hospital hallway to build arm strength.

When the head of therapy marveled at the progress I was making (he said he had never seen a patient like me). I almost told him that everyone should have God and Rosey. ( But he would have thought I was nuts)

Now Rosey sits in my study next to my desk. She still serves to keep me trying.

God bless Rosey.

8850 Spins without a prize. At least 1200 times Old Hapless has seen the same eight things offered for sale for a dollar. Every day when he enters his Group Lotto tickets and his Prize America tickets there they are. They never change. The same stupid eight things. They don't even change the order they are in. Day after day the same. After every ticket the same eight things. He hasn't bought one. He isn't going to buy one. He will never buy one. He is sick of them but some genus out there thinks if they show them enough he'll give in but he won't.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers unless old Hapless completely flips out and buys all eight things causing his wife to have him committed. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter of "As the World Spins"

Well we made reservations for a motel in Green Bay next weekend so we can go to the train show ( really an excuse to see my grandkids) Today I cut and painted the sidewalks for the new Pigeon Falls city street. Betty finished a hotel for the HO layout. Now we are going to church. Church was great. The lessons were my favorite lessons. The sermon was more like a conversation and was right to the point. Life is good and I need a breathing treatment.

Friday, April 21, 2006

But I can't stop crying! I really can't!

Saying for the day: If you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry for.

My grandson Alex had a slight altercation with his mother just before coming to our house for Easter. He was told to go to bed and he didn’t want to so he started to cry. His mother told him to stop but he said “ I can’t”. So she got angry and told him no television for a week.

This set me to thinking about kids and crying.
I did some careful research and developed the following principals worthy of Oprah or Dr. Phil.

1. Children are going to cry even when they gain nothing by it.
2. Children will cry even when it causes them to be made fun of by their peers.
3. Once children have begun to cry they can not shut down the tears on command.
4. Adults know this but threaten dire consequences for continued crying anyway.

These principals are based on the following absolutely true historical and personal stories.

Child caveman crying because he doesn’t want to eat any more charred mastodon. “ I can’t eat any more”, Big tears
Father caveman “ Quit Crying”
Child “ I can’t” Bigger tears.
Father “Stop crying or I’ll throw you to the dinosaurs.”
Mother- “Leave the kid alone. Go kill us something else for supper.” Then to the kid “ Go to the back of the cave and clean some bones”.

Little Ghenghis crying because he doesn’t want to sharpen any more swords
Father. “Stop crying you’re a Mongol. Mongols don’t cry.”
Child “ I can’t”, big tears
Father “If you don’t stop crying I’ll cut off your ears.”
Mother “ Leave the kid alone. Don’t you want him to grow up and get revenge on the Tatars” To little Ghengis “ Go to your tent and make plans to conquer the world”

Little Napoleon crying because he doesn’t want to go on the family trip to Waterloo .
Father “Quit crying. Right now!”
Child “ I can’t.” Great big tears
Father “ Quit crying or I’ll take away all your toy soldiers”
Mother “Leave the kid alone. Take away his soldiers he won’t grow up to conquer Europe.” To the kid “ Go to your room and think of how wonderful Waterloo will be.”

Little DR. John crying because his father won’t let him take his Charlie McCarthy puppet to Grandma’s at Christmas. Very big tears.
Father “ Quit crying”
Dr.John “ I can’t” Bigger tears.
Father “ If you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry for.”
Mother “ Stop tormenting the boy . You’ll give him a complex” To the kid “ Get in the car and leave that stupid puppet home”

Little Peter crying because his parents won’t let him go to something all the other kids are going to. Big tears.
Father Dr. John “ Stop that crying”
Peter “ I can’t stop”
Father “ If you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry for” (And after I promised myself I would never say that to my kids)
Mother “ Stop picking on the kid” To Peter “ Go to your room until you stop crying: ( The voice of reason)

Luke crying because he doesn’t want to eat something he said he wanted. Really big tears.
Grandfather Dr. John “ Stop that crying”
Luke “ I can’t”
Grandfather “ If you don’t stop I’m just going to laugh at you”, (A new approach )
Grandmother “ Stop tormenting the kid” To Luke “ You can sit there until you eat your food crying or not” (the voice of reason)

So you see how well my principals apply.

8800 spins without a prize.Old Hapless is looking forward to a summer vaction from blogging. As soon as Pigeon Falls appears out of the mist this space will become the day to day life of Pigeon Falls. The town where all the men hunt deer and the women let them. Old Hapless will keep spinning and losing but he won't have to write about it again until next fall.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Pigeon Falls doesn't suddenly appear out of the mist causing old Hapless to go on vaction we will be back tomorrow with another chapter of "As the World Spins"

We went shopping in Iron Mountain this morning and early afternoon. As usual we spent too much. We bought lots of flowers ( even though its too early to plant them) , paint, nails, gloves, glue, and soap. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Forget my High School Years

Saying for the Day: High School reunions are a chance to relive the wonder of our youth but who wants to suffer like that again?

In one of her recent blogs Catch at ‘A penny for your thoughts” did some remembering of her school days. Her memories were mostly positive.

This caused me to think about my high school days. I don’t do that often because it gives me a headache . My high school days were not fun.

First of all I was fat. Fat kids don’t have fun. They give other people a chance to have fun at their expense.

Second I couldn’t dance . This cut my social opportunities way down."Would you like to sit this dance out with me" just didn't cut it.

Third my father made me take shop. I am lucky I still have all my fingers. I produced the worst things anybody ever made in wood shop, metal shop and any other shop. My drafting teacher used to close his eyes and put a C on the paper. (He felt sorry for me)

Fourth I was shy. I hated having to speak in class. I was such a bad speaker that my freshman English teacher said I should stay away from any occupation that required speaking.

Fifth at my senior banquet I had the worst humiliation of my entire life. When I came in people kept asking what color my dress was. I didn’t understand until somebody gave me a copy of the yearbook. Listed under my activities in high school was “Hoop girl junior year”( Hoop girls were juniors who wore fancy dresses and held up hoops of flowers for the Seniors to pass under at graduation.).
When the sheet was passed up to the front of the room somebody added a check at that point and nobody caught it. So I am the only boy to graduate from Ishpeming High School who served as a hoop girl.

You can understand why I haven’t gone back for a single reunion.

8750 spins without a prize. has the tightest slot machine in the world. Old Hapless never imagined that he could go 8750 spins without a win. He never really expected to win the million but he did think after all those spins he would at least win the $5.00. How many spins will it take? Perhaps CBS , the owner of Iwon, never intends to give away the little prizes. Well Old Hapless will keep spinning.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Old Hapless doesn't win the $5.00 and thus keeps chasing the carrot. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of "As the World Spins"

Betty went to church this morning. I finished the trestle I started yesterday and Betty varnished it when she came home. My sister called and she has her wood in for the winter. That's one way to beat the high cost of oil. In the afternoon I finished another trestle( I have now used up 1000 nails). Betty worked on HO buildings. Peter called and we may go to Green Bay for a train show at the end of the month. I feel really good because one of our blog friends announced that she had taken Jesus as her Savior. I know the joy that brings and I rejoice with her. Betty is going to ELCW and I need a breathing treatment.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

When I hated God

Saying for the Day: Its better to be mad at God than at people because God is much quicker to forgive.

Someone I consider a blog friend (meaning I’ve never met her in person) shared her personal suffering at Easter because of the death of a child. As is often the case for me in reading blogs it brought back memories.

I was nine years old when my brother Robert died. He was only three months old. A happy family was suddenly plunged into grief. One day he was a happy, seemingly healthy baby and the next day he was being operated on and died.

There is no way one can prepare for this.
It devastated my mother. She suffered for years after.

It angered me. I loved Robert. I loved my mother. I didn’t want Robert to die and I didn’t want my mother to suffer. I even prayed he would be okay.
God failed me. I was really mad at God.

I decided that either God was mean or God didn’t exist. Either way I couldn’t be bothered with Him. I would fix Him by not believing.

I went to Sunday school because my mother made me. It was Methodist and they didn’t talk much about God. Mostly they talked about being nice to people. I never asked why we should be nice to people but I thought it.

I went To Lutheran Confirmation because my Grandfather wanted me to. I would have done anything for my grandfather. The Pastor was a horrible teacher and I got confirmed without believing. I got money from my relatives so it was good.

But once I was confirmed I joined my parents in not going to church. I didn’t have to any more. There was no reason to. I still hated God. He left Robert die. He hurt my mother. I couldn’t love a God like that. I couldn’t even like Him.

So I know how she feels. At least she hasn’t given up on God altogether.
How did I get from there to being a pastor? That’s another story.

8700 spins without a prize. Old Hapless thinks there ought to be a law against telling people they have won when they haven't. Every day he gets e-mail saying that he's a winner. But when he checks it out it's just another come on. People want to sell him stuff so they lie to him. You haven't won unless you get something with no strings attached. If there are strings its not a win and shouldn't be called one. Politicians wouldn't understand because they are always getting stuff with strings attached. That's why Washington is such a mess. You'll never get them to vote for this law.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers unless one of those e-mails comes without strings causing Old Hapless to jump for joy thus wrecking both knees. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter of "As the World Spins"

In blogging this morning I came across a story you ought to read. Its at "What is ....? It'll fog your glasses. Two new entries on that blog since this morning you need to scroll down to see the entry refereed to. I spent the day making the third trestle and there is only one to go. Betty varnished the two that are already done. Then she worked on the HO layout. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

The Cavalry Arrives

Saying for the Day: Marry in haste. Repent at leisure. ( old saying)

Well back to the box. (Had a hard time finding the box I think Betty hid it. Or I just forgot where I put it).
Today we find a picture, an old picture.
Everyone was pushing Kathryn and I to wait. We had just about decided to postpone the wedding (even though we were hopelessly in love). That’s when the cavalry arrived with all guns blazing. It was just like in the old movies where the hero gets rescued at the last moment.
The cavalry took the form of my Aunt Doris ( up until that time not my favorite aunt) . She said if your in love don’t wait, life is too short. She even offered to host the rehearsal dinner (and did).
We didn’t wait. We were in love.
That brings us to the picture in the box. Please note my grandmother is smiling. She , the matriarch, gave us her blessing. That added to the joy of the moment. A bit more love added to the love Kathryn and I had.
The wedding itself I hardly remember.
What I do remember.
One of my best friends , Pastor Lanse Roberts, got married on the same day in a different town. Most of my friends went to that wedding. I have never forgiven him.
I married Kathryn but she didn’t marry me. The pastor, an old friend, was nervous and asked her to repeat after him “ I take you John LIMMER as my lawfully wedded husband.”
She did. So she married that LIMMER guy..( But the license was right)
My father was upset because I had no alcohol at the reception. What would his friends think.
My cousin who filmed the wedding didn't know in those old 8mm cameras you had to turn the film over and run it through again so we only got half of the wedding.(He thought he was out of film)
We didn’t care we were in love. Really, really in love. And now we were married. Life was perfect or almost perfect.
Betty says to put the picture away and stop living in the past.
But I won’t because once I was really in love.

8650 spins without a prize. Old hapless bet on the second case in last night's Deal or No Deal’s home game. It was the right case but of course because he is never lucky he didn't win. If he was in contest where he had 99 tickets out of 100 the person with the other ticket would get drawn. That's just the way it is. But he keeps trying.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers of Old Hapless doesn't just give up on trying to win and then become so sad he quits blogging. we will be back tomorrow with " As the World Spins"

Well we got married but there are some unanswered questions. What about the honeymoon? Will it last? Where does Betty come in? and of course " Whatever happened to napkin girl? If I find the right artifact no more than one of these questions will be answered next Tuesday. I finished another trestle today. That leaves only two more to go and we can put them on the layout. The blog Upper Peninsula MI and Beyond has new pictures of Crystal falls including some great pictures of United Lutheran church where I used to be Pastor. The van parked all alone by the downstairs entrance is my son's and we went to church in it. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Monday, April 17, 2006

The Danger of Comments

Saying for the Day: A good comment is like a beautiful drawing. It delights the eyes.

It’s leave a comment Monday and with great fear and trepidation I have been leaving comments.

I am afraid because I am not good at writing comments.

First of all there is no spell checker . Since my spelling ability is about that of a second grader that scares me. ( I know its that bad because somebody on whose blog I left a comment said so)

If that wasn’t bad enough I never took typing and some of the letters on my keyboard have worn off. So some of my bad spelling is really bad typing.

To compound this I can’t proofread. I couldn’t spot a mistake if it was highlighted in red. That is until I push the comment button. Then all the mistakes jump out at me. Its like a filter comes off of my eyes and there in plain sight are all those mistakes. Ick!

Once this got me into trouble . I saw the spelling mistakes. I left a second comment that said a spelling checker would be helpful.
The guy thought I was referring to his blog and left me a comment that he uses a spelling checker. I was so mortified.

Sometimes the blog gets to my emotions. You should never leave a comment if your emotions are involved.

I read a blog where the entire family was shooting each other with BB guns. So I left a comment that this was stupid. But because of the emotion I didn’t word it well. The blog turned out to have been written by a thirteen year old boy and his mother thought I was calling his blog stupid. She called down the wrath of God on me.

If I had stopped to think I would have written : ” I do not think it is wise for people to shoot each other with BB guns”. That would have been clear.

Despite the fact that I spell poorly, type badly, and don’t say what I mean I am going to take the risk and keep leaving comments.


Because that’s the way you get people to leave comments back.

And I love comments.

Even if the comments call down the wrath of God.

8600 spins without a prize. Old Hapless only got two numbers right in the lottery yesterday. He got two numbers out of seven. That's better than the day before when he only got one. Perhaps he's working up toward three or four. Of course he needs all seven to win. But he keeps trying. Why ? Why ? Why ?
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old Hapless doesn't find those seven special numbers causing him to take his grandkids to Disneyland and thus quit blogging. We will be back tomorrow with "As the World Spins".

Well my grandkids have gone home and left us with 17 colored hard boiled eggs ( I hate hard boiled eggs). I guess that's what I have to snack on for the week. Spent most of the day working on trestles. I finished the first one and varnished it. Then started on the second one which is now half done. Betty spent the day trying to get the house back into shape after the grandkids. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

But I like Diet Coke


Saying for the Day: If you can't trust the federal government who can you trust?

Well thanks to my federal government I can go back to drinking diet pop with aspartame again.

The government says its okay.

My government ran the study on more than a half million Americans that drink and drank the stuff.
They concluded that there was no significant increase in cancer among those that drank the stuff over and against those that didn’t.

Now if you can’t trust the federal government then who can you trust.

These are after all the wonderful people who gave us the Iraq war and other assorted good things.

I just have one little problem.
I wasn’t worried about cancer in the first place.
I wanted to know if it caused headaches, muscle weakness, short term memory loss, depression., and Bells Palsy.

Some non government tests seem to show that it does.
In fact 93 % of the independent tests seem to indicate a problem with aspartame.

But they aren’t my government so why should I trust them.

It also seems that the some of the FDA people involved in the study thought so highly of the sweetener that they went to work for the company that makes it when they left the FDA.
That shows confidence doesn’t it.

Would you go to work for a company that was poisoning your neighbors just to get a bigger salary? Of course you wouldn’t.

So I have decided to ignore the independent studies. They probably have been paid off by one of the other companies that sell sweeteners.
They do things like that you know.

I’m going to bet on the federal government.

Besides I like Diet Coke with aspartame.

There must be something wrong with my computer . The page looks so blurry and my head hurts.

8550 spins without a win. Old hapless was a winner this weekend. He got to spend time with daughter, son, and grandsons. It was better than winning some prize on It was what real life is all about, being surrounded by the people who love you. Spending quality time with people you only see every three or four months that's winning.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers of Old Hapless doesn't get so depressed when everyone leaves that he can't blog. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter in "As the World Spins"

By some miracle we got through the Easter Egg hunting thing, the breakfast thing, and the getting dressed thing in time to get to the 9:30 service at church. The choir was fantastic and they sang resurrection songs all during the Communion. My grandsons behaved better than I expected . I saw one drawing on a blank page in the bulletin and assumed he was drawing the usual monster but when I looked at the end of the service he had drawn the empty tomb. What a wonderful Sunday.I spent part of the day after church playing with the grandsons and when they left I worked on the trestle. I needa breathing treatment.

Have a Blessed Easter. God Bless You All

Saturday, April 15, 2006

It happened on my birthday!

Saying for the day:Almost everyone born on the same day as me is dead.

I saw this on TC’s blog and he got it from somewhere else. You go to Wikipedia, and type in your birth date (minus the year) in the search box.

From the lists displayed, pick 3 interesting events, 2 births, and 1 death which occurred on the same day as your birthday, and show the year.

I have added to that my reasons for the picks .

Here are my picks.

1871 - French Government troops invade the Paris Commune and engage its residents in street fighting. By the close of "Bloody Week" some 20,000 communards have been killed and 38,000 arrested.
I picked this because all kinds of people were killed and you couldn’t blame America or Bush.

1934 - Oskaloosa, Iowa, becomes the first municipality in the United States to fingerprint each of its citizens.
I always thought Big Brother started in Iowa instead of washington.
2004 - Stanislav Petrov is awarded the World Citizen Award for averting a potential World War III in 1983.
I just wanted to say thanks to Stanislav since I really didn’t want World War III

Now two births:
1939 - Heinz Holliger, Swiss oboist and composer
I don’t really like the oboe so you guess why I picked this birth.

1984 - Sandy Cheeks, fictional squirrel
How neat is this. Sharing a birthday with a squirrel.

Finally one death:

1996 - Lash LaRue, American actor (b. 1917)
With all the bad guys he escaped from in the movies when I was a kid I didn’t think he could die.

8500 spins without a win. Old Hapless almost got taken in by the Michigan lottery advertisement that "It's about to rain millions". He was in the grocery store and was just about to buy a ticket when a little voice in the back of his head said" If you can't win with all the free ones you enter , what makes you think you can win in one you pay money for?" Sometimes you need to listen to those little voices.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Old Hapless doesn't forget what the voices said and goes ahead and buys a losing ticket thus making him too depressed to blog. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter of " As the World Spins".

There are new pictures of the community where I live on Upper Michigan and Beyond . There is a link on the side. I finished the first half of the trestle . We celebrated Pennie's birthday which is today and Caleb's birthday which is tomorrow. Both Caleb and Pennie seemed to enjoy their gifts. Now the grandkids, Pennie, and Betty have gone shopping and Pat is playing Nintendo.I've been reading my daughter-in-law's blog "Lori's Minute" and have discovered things about her and my son I never knew before. When I talked to Pete he said he didn't know some of it either.The boys and Pennie, with a little help from grandma, colored Easter Eggs. They are very creative. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Thank you John Hopkins

Saying for the day: Just when all seems to be lost then comes the calvary.

Forget everything I said in yesterdays post. Science has come to rescue me.

Just when I was sure I was doomed to soon forget where the bathroom was ,
not to mention the names of my children,
scientists at John Hopkins University offered me hope.

They discovered that for patients at high risk of Alzheimer's disease, taking a combination of vitamins E and C plus ibuprofen significantly reduces their risk.

All I have to do is take vitamin E, C, and ibuprofen. That’s it. That will save me from sitting around and drooling. Wow.

Just one pill a day. Keeps me sane and in play.

Thank you John Hopkins.

Now if I can find something to prevent the heart attack and stroke I might live forever.

8450 spins without a win. Old Hapless is getting tired of being the millionth visitor. Already today he was the millionth visitor twice. He has figured out its a scam. He also has decided that the people who put it together are not too sharp. They need a new number . He could be the 2006th visitor , which seems more reasonable and makes sense because of the year. Or perhaps the 7777th visitor because people really like sevens ( I read that on a blog).
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if those people don't change their number thus causing old Hapless to fall for their scam and thus have no time left to blog (too busy jumping through hoops). We will be back tomorrow with"As the World Spins"
Good day today. I updated the church web page with a new top tem list. I started work on a new trestle for the outside railroad and got it half finished. It was good to do something other than compute and watch television. Betty wrapped birthday gifts for my grandson who will be here late tonight. My daughter came home for the weekend and it was good to see her .
Betty and Pennie and I went to the Good Friday evening service at United. It was good to be in church with both of them. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Me and Alzheimer's

Saying for the day: People who are over weight at mid life have a higher risk of developing Alzheimer's than those who aren’t.

If I suddenly stop blogging its because I won’t be able to remember where the computer is.
I was very definitely over weight at mid life and early life too.
Now a group of scientists have proven that this makes it much more likely that I will develop Alzheimer’s . What a horrible thing to tell me.

I can’t go back and get un-fat in midlife. I can’t back diet. I am doomed.

I should have listened to Betty and gone on a diet when it counted.

I should have eaten less cake.
I should have eaten less ice cream.
I should have eaten less candy.
I should have eaten less.

The only good news comes from those same scientists.

Because I was fat at midlife I have a much higher chance of dying of heart disease or stroke. You see I may not get Alzheimer’s because I will die first.

It is a race and no matter which wins I lose.

Ah!!! I have decided that until one or the other catches me I’m just going to live.

Now if I could only remember what I was going to do next.

8400 spins without a prize. Another losing morning for Old Hapless. He doesn't feel bad though because he saw a real winner last night on "Deal or no Deal". The guy not only checked his greed in time to go home with $300,000 but he proposed to the love of his life on national television. She said yes. He won twice. Hapless thinks the love was more important than the money.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Old Hapless doesn't get so carried away that he decides to post more of his romances before tuesday and thus destroy forever the intended nature of this blog. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of " As the World Spins"

Because of yesterday's post I am more aware of dreams. Last night I dreamed Betty and I were at a concert (not likely since I tend to hate most music) and I left my seat. Some guy with a funny hat came and took it and Betty let him. That's all I remember. But I was ticked. Another day , another link. I love the pictures of W. J. St. Christopher and todays mad cows.
Betty's late birthday gifts came. The one's from Walthers ( house kits for the HO layout) she expected because she picked them out. The other was a complete suprise. I got her a new 19" LCD monitor. She doesn't see as well as she used to and the old monitor was too big to be moved forward given the nature of her desk.This one is flat and two inches bigger and she loves it. See! Sometimes I do something right. I also put the arch together that will go over the sidewalk and carry the flower vines. Betty and I went to the Maunday Thursday Communion service. One could feel the very Presence of God. It was good to be in the house of the Lord. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Naked in the Sacristy

Saying for the Day: If you die in a dream then you die in real life.

Every day after I finish entering my blog for the day I visit the blogs of every one of my links. That’s why the links are there to make it easy for me. Sometimes these visits cause some seldom used brain cells to activate and old memories come flooding back (some good, some bad).
That was my experience yesterday. I visited Chana’s blog (Go Forth &). She blogged about dreams past and present.
It reminded me of when I was a kid I had this terrible nightmare where I was in a highchair at the top of a long flight of stairs. I couldn’t get out even though I tried. Then the chair started to tip. I screamed and screamed but nobody came. The chair began to fall and fall. Then I would wake up before it hit the bottom.
Some relative ( a genius ) told me that if it hits the bottom I would die in the dream and real life. That reassured me.
Then I was so terrified I didn’t want to go to bed. I knew the dream would come and I would hit the bottom and die.
What saved me is I began to listen to radio shows. One had a list of wanted criminals at the end. My dream changed to one where the crook was trying to come in through the window to get me. But in this dream my dog would save me ( my dog slept on the foot of my bed). I would wakeup so thankful for the dog.
Now all those dreams are gone , like my childhood.
Now I dream of being in the sacristy . That’s were pastors robe before entering the church.
I am naked and can’t find a robe. The first hymn has started and the congregation is waiting for me. This is a nightmare.
But at least I’m not falling. Fired, maybe! Laughed at, maybe!
But not falling.

8350 spins without a prize. Of Old Hapless had driven that many nails he's have all the trestles built for his outdoor layout. If he had put that much money into savings when he was young he would now have a million. But what he does have for all those spins is nothing. Every day he sees the camera spin by. He likes cameras. Every day the DVD player spins by. He likes DVD players. Everyday lots and lots of money spins by. He likes money. But he wins nothing. Darn that It should be a .con instead of .com.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if the weather stays nice Pigeon Falls should be returning from the fog and Old Hapless will be replaced . Then instead of "As the World Spins" we will get "The News from Pigeon Falls".

I have added another link. If I keep adding links I won't have any time to go to random blogs and get points. But these are good blogs and I want to visit them. Well it was a pretty dull Wednesday. Betty went to Tops. I began to look at what we need to do to get Pigeon Falls back into existance and we start tomorrow. Betty has been visiting a lot of blogs and I think she's hooked. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Just until Christmas

Saying for the Day: Its better to wait and be sure because till death do us part can be a long time. Unless of course your really in love.

Today's artifact is an 8 millimeter movie.
I had proposed and she had accepted. This is where reality should have set in. You know where love runs into the real world.
Instead we bought rings. We got a marriage license. That’s the movie, Kathryn and I in the Marquette County Courthouse getting a marriage licensee.( Same courthouse where Anatomy of a Murder was filmed).
I called the seminary and arranged for a married student apartment.
We were in love.
I should have evaluated her as Lutheran Pastor’s wife material.
She was Methodist. It is not good for a Lutheran pastor’s wife to be a Methodist.
She couldn’t cook.
She couldn’t play the organ.
She was shy beyond belief. (No ELCW leader here)
She couldn’t sing.
Obviously by any rational standard she was not the wife for me.
I didn’t care. We were in love.
My mother thought we were moving to fast.
My sister’s boyfriend thought I was nuts.
Her mother and father thought she had totally flipped.
We didn’t care we were in love.
Her parents talked us into seeing the local Lutheran pastor. He didn’t know what to tell us. Lutheran pastors, faced with complex family problems, seldom know what to tell you. Jesus loves you just doesn’t fit.
Besides this was the pastor who several years later ran off with the choir director leaving wife and children behind. Not the best counselor around.
We didn’t care we were in love.
But the real world was pushing and pushing hard.
She had a contract to teach for a year that she had to get out of.
The parents wern't happy about the speed.
Because of all the pressure we thought of postponing until Christmas.
We would need another licensee . I would have to call the seminary and change the housing arrangements.
But true love could wait. Couldn’t it? Well couldn't it?
The wife I have now says I should put the movie back in the movie box and put the stupid box away.
But I won’t because it reminds me of when I was really and truly in love.

8300 spins without a win.Old Hapless feels pretty good today. "Deal or No Deal" was back last night. Old Hapless got to pick and enter another losing case. The Universe was in order. Life was good.
Well Uncle Wiggly Lovers if Old Hapless doesn't pick the seven luc ky numbers at thus causing the world as we know it to come to a crashing end. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter in "As the World Spins".

Will John and Kathryn ever marry. Will they wait until Christmas? Will the cavalry swoop in and save them? All these questions might be answered when we go back to the box next Tuesday. I got out of the Fortress today and didn't fall down. We went to Home Depot, Wal Mart, and the Dollar store. We spent too much( see what being cooped up for three weeks will do to you). Bought a lot of what we need to work on the outside layout. Betty had trouble getting the walker into the car as I'm not steady enough yet to do it. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Another Blog Bites the Dust

Saying for the Day:Tis a horrible thing to have to destroy thy own creation.

It is leave a comment Monday and I am sad.
One of my blogs will never see another comment.
I had to kill it this morning.
I loved that blog. I created it in the bathtub.
Only my best creations come there.
It was called “ The Dragon Awards” . It grew out of random blogging and the discovery that there were lot of left and right wing blogs that distorted the facts or arrogantly proclaimed lies as the truth.
So I decided to award those blogs some dragons. Red dragons for left wing blogs and blue dragons for right wing blogs.
It went well at first. I awarded a hold flock of dragons. It was really too easy.
But nobody paid attention to the dragons. I would tell them of the award and they ignored me. I made no impact.
In addition I found I didn’t have the time to keep up this blog and Personal Diatribes plus the dragon awards.
So I stopped updating the dragons.
The poor thing just sat there , abandoned by its creator and ignored by the world.
It could have drifted forever in cyber space . Seen only on a rare occasion when somebody bumped into it. It would be lonely and forgotten.
So today I did the only humane thing. I killed it.
I went to Blogger. I called it up. I hit the delete button and it was gone.
But I miss it. I do.
It had to be done. It did. It could not go on.
But I’m still sad. It was my creation. It was part of me.
Now its gone, forever.

8250 spins without a prize. Yesterday Old Hapless kept his losing string intact. He and Mrs. Hapless were 1200 points ahead with 500 points needed to end the game of canasta with his granddaughter and daughter-in-law and they still lost . The sneaky little kid kept a pair of aces in her hand with aces on the table and picked up one great deck. She had no mercy on grandpa. Its funny though Old Hapless didn't mind losing .
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if the four year old grandson doesn't beat Old Hapless at a game of Uncle Wiggly causing him to begin a study of childhood games with no time for computing. We will be back tomorrow with "As the World Spins".

I gave in and put the word verification back. They are putting in our new furnace and I am freezing. They are also making a lot of noise. If you want to see pictures of the town where I live go to Upper Michigan and Beyond. There is a link on the side. I live just down from the old Church. The furnace is in and the heat is back on. I am thawing out. Tomorrow we go back to the box and my romances. But now I need a breathing treatment.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

This is my Pastor

Saying for the Day:God loves even those who don't know it.

A person I only know from blogging works in an Emergency Room that and my Emergency Room experience reminded me of an Emergency Room story from when I was in the active ministry.

I told it first at a Synod conference for pastors. These were meetings that pastors were expected (required ) to attend.

This conference was on vocations and the need for pastors to visit the work place of their parishioners.

The lead story was about a pastor who went to visit his parishioner at his place of work . When he entered the building and asked for directions to the man’s office he was directed to the 14th floor. Here he found a huge ,beautiful office. The parishioner was a big executive and he took the pastor and with some pride introduced him as his pastor.
This we were told was good for the church.

They then asked for if any of us had “This is my pastor stories” and I told this one.

I was called to the emergency room at the local hospital.
It seems an old , local drunk had fallen down and cut his head open.
They had no one to take him back to his hotel so they called me.
I often got called for stuff like that.

I entered the room. The old guy was laying on the table with blood running down his face. He brushed the hair out of his eyes and pointed in my direction.

He said to the doctor “This is my pastor”.

I was so proud. I could have hugged him. Because I was his pastor and wanted to be his pastor. He was not an executive. He was more likely to be found in the emergency room than an office.

But he was one of God’s children. Oh yes he was.

Oh the doctor eventually joined United. In fact he plays in the guitar choir.
You can never tell what visiting one’s place of work will do for a pastor.

8200 spins without a prize. Old Hapless is tired of e-mails that tell him he has won everything from a plasma TV to a years supply of gas. When he checks them out he always discovers that he hasn't won anything (surprise). Instead they are hoopers. You know, where to get the item you have to jump through a bunch of hoops. You need to take two deals from the first set, two from the second, and three from the third. That is clearly not winning, It is the worst kind of losing.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Old Hapless doesn't decide he wants that plasma TV so bad that he will spend all his time hooping thus preventing him from blogging. We will be back with "As the World Spins".
I'm in a bit of a quandary. Word verification keeps idiots like the first commentator today off of the blog. But , as anybody who has tried three or four times to leave a comment knows , it is a pain in the butt. Do I make it easy for friends to comment and thus open myself to idiots or what? My son and family are visiting and the first thing my four year old grandson said was Grandpa we saw lots and lots of birch trees. Now who put him up to that I wonder? Well it was a wonderful day even if my granddaughter and daughter-in-law beat Betty and I at canasta. Luke had a great time riding my walker. Well after all the excitement I need a breathing treatment.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Send someone to Hell.

Saying for the day: You can go to Hell and I mean that in a nice way.

My blog friend TC did a number of blogs on town and city names that called up the schoolboy in him. They were sorta funny.

The whole blog reminded me of a Michigan town that it is very useful to know about.

The town was founded by a man names George Reeves. According to the local legend he ran a mill for grinding grain on the Hell River. When farmers brought in their grain he turned the first bushel into whiskey. This meant the farmer , who drank the whiskey, didn't come home that night. Often the horse went home without him. When the wife was asked where the farmer was she would mutter that he's gone to Hell.

In 1841 when George was asked by the state of Michigan what he wanted to call his town he said, " Call it hell, for all I care. Everyone else does." So they did.

All this information and more is available at the Hell Michigan website .Be sure to check out their store. It has wild items.

I always thought this would make a great Country and Western song. You know, with verses like " The world is such a rotten place I want to go back to hell. The little town where I was born"

Now because you have this valuable information you can tell people to "Go to Hell" in a nice way. I understand its not a bad little place.

8150 spins without a win. Old Hapless is a bit depressed today. There was no "Deal or no Deal" on NBC last night. Instead there was some kind of music program. Old Hapless needs "Deal or no Deal" both so he can watch other greedy losers and so he can enter and lose in their home contest. Doesn't NBC care about its audience?
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if NBC doesn't announce the canceling of "Deal or no Deal" sending old Hapless into such a depression he can't blog . Will be back tomorrow with "As the World Spins"

I finally got a hold of somebody from the museum board and it sounds like they might accept my offer of a garden railroad for the museum ( I provide the equipment, all new, and they do the work). I am excited because I get to go to church tonight if I can make it through the garage.What a wonderful day. I called my sister and that went well. I got to go to church and that was a real joy. Now I need a breathing treatment.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Spanish Inquisition-Part two

Saying for the Day: Somebody said that pain is the pathway to healing. I must really be getting well!!

I lay there in the modern equivalent of a torture chamber waiting for the Master Inquisitor ( the doctor) to finally arrive. The pain keeps growing even though I didn’t think that was possible.

Then suddenly the curtain parts and he strolls in. He has a great big smile.
Of course he does.He does the torturing he isn’t being tortured.
He is what one of my blogger friends would call a hunk.( Don’t any ugly men become doctors? ) Even if I was gay I wouldn’t have cared what he looked like I just wanted the pain to stop and this was the magic man.
He grabs my knee and probes. This I assure you does nothing but add to the pain. Then less it feel neglected he does the same thing to the other knee.
Now I await the magic. But instead he needs some x-rays . Now they change my oxygen so its portable and push me to another room at least miles from the cubicle.
There new tortures are applied. The legs are lifted and cold plates put under them. Smiling technicians keep telling me “just a few more”. Now they decide they need side views so they wrench the leg at an angle. If I could I would have killed them but I knew I couldn’t escape.
Finally back to the cubicle.
Again “ The Doctor will be back shortly”. This leads to another eternity of waiting. The pain grows again.
Then the curtains part again. The great one has come. Now there will be magic.
But , alas there isn’t. He says the x-rays show I have very bad arthritis. I knew that. That’s an old story. But he doesn’t think anything is broken. That means in a week or so the pain will go away. Okay I can go home.
Oh no! They aren’t ready to let me go yet. “ To be on the safe side” and help pay for the hospital he is sending me for a scan. The torture goes on. Again I am bounced down long halls to another chamber. This time I have to get from the table to the scan platform. Since there is only him and me that means I have to stand. Now I know real pain ( I don’t know what that other was). But I make it. The scan is quick and we have to reverse the process. Again I step down. Again new pain.
Then I’m back on the table. I’m bounced back to the cubicle.
The Doctor will be with me as soon as some mysterious person cloistered somewhere in the building reads the scan.
So I wait and wait. The mysterious person must be in China. Perhaps the mysterious person is at a party. She could be lost and they can’t find her . The pain goes on.
Finally the Doctor arrives. There is no break. There isn’t even a crack.
I wait for him to shoot my knees full of something . He doesn’t. He gives me a prescription for a pain killer to be filled at K-Mart. K-Mart, not even the hospital pharmacy.
I say to him now I can go home and take a hot bath. He says he wouldn’t advise it as the knees will swell. He just wants the suffering to continue.
But now I can go home. First of course they have to get me back into my pants with all the pain that entails. Then they put me back in the wheel chair of pain and roll me to the car. Then I have to be wrenched into the seat. But its over. I’m free. I survived the Inquisition.
I have been there six hours. I have more pain than when I came but I'm free.
Ah but we still have to stop at K-Mart and I have to sit and wait for the prescription. That was not a pain free time. And I can’t look forward to a hot bath. We have to figure out how to get me into the house.
But I’m free. I’m alive. I survived the Emergency Room.

8100 spins without a prize. Old Hapless had begun to think that there are a lot of morons out there in the gaming world. Every day when he enters his tickets at Prize America and Group Lotto (35) tickets he gets the same advertisement after each entry. Thirty five times they offer him the same eight things. He doesn't want them Sam I am. He didn't want them yesterday. He didn't want them today. He won't want them tomorrow. Shouldn't they find a new eight items? Do they really want to sell something? Or are they just trying to wear him out? If he worked for the company he would at least alternate the adds. A little bit of variety might spark a little interest.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if the advertisers don't somehow wise up and change the adds causing old Hapless to laugh hysterically and not blog. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter of " As the World Spins".

Well I set Betty up with her own blog. She is not sure she will do much entering but she wanted to have a way to leave comments that had her picture instead of mine ( she's cuter). Now she has decided to blog so I gave her a link. She is going to think about a link to mine. My sister who intensly dislikes George Bush ( she doesn't hate anybody) hasn't called in three days. This makes me sad .Because though I don't know what to say to her ,since she judges everything I say to determine if I love her ( anything I say or don't say can and will be used against me) .I miss her voice. She is after all my sister and I care about her. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

The Spanish Inquistion is Alive

Saying for the Day: Suffering builds character and your character needs building.

For those of you who wonder what happened to the Spanish Inquisition let me assure you that it is alive and well.
You know the Spanish Inquisition where they tortured you in order to save you. It still exists but now they call it an Emergency Room.
Not too long ago now my son delivered me into the hands of the Inquisitors.
I fell on a parking lot and hurt both legs. Son and wife got me into the van and to the Emergency Room. The pain was horrible.
At the emergency room the nurse on duty came out with a wheel chair designed to inflict maximum pain. It was old. It was rickety. It forced your body into a position where the legs would hurt even more. They wrenched me from the safety of the van into the wicked thing . This immediately increased my pain two fold.
I was wheeled into the outer chamber. The nurse said I should sit there until I was interviewed. Then she vanished.
I sat there for an hour with the pain increasing. Twice my wife tried to register me to start the process but was told that nothing could be done until the nurse interviewed me.
In the little cell where the interview was to take place there was no nurse.
Finally as my moans began to reach ear splitting level the head inquisitor or maybe a flunky showed up. I was wheeled into the cell and it began.
Was she concerned about my pain? No!! She wanted my life history which ended with the neat question. “Do you now have cancer?” I wanted to scream. “Lady I’m in pain ! What’s with the stupid questions”. But I didn’t. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.
Now she got to my pain. She wanted me to rate it from 1 to 10. How do you do that? If 10 is having both legs cut off by a jig saw while an elephant sat on your lap then it wasn’t a ten. So I decided on 7. That probably was a mistake . If I had said ten they might have helped me faster.
She wheeled me make back into the outer chamber and took her notes from the inquisition to the registration desk. Now I can register.
After registering which is mostly about how I am going to pay them for inflicting this pain they roll me back into the main chamber.
I’m told to sit there until a cubicle is open. Darn. I didn’t bring a cubicle opener.
An hour and a half go by. People who don’t seem to be in pain and can even walk are taken care of. I don’t think they are real patients. They are just to add to the pain.
Finally a cubicle opens. The nurse hauls the wheel chair to next torture level. Now I have to stand on those legs screaming in pain to get onto a table with wheels. First , however, I have to go through the humiliation of dropping my pants while two nurses watch. You of course can not examine knees through a pair of pants.
Then they lift me to the table. At this point my lungs begin to shut down. They see this and get me oxygen. You can not torture the victim if he passes out.
Now the pain increases because the legs which had begun to stiffen in a bent position are now stretched straight out. Now they pretend to be concerned and bring me something for the pain. It does nothing. Nothing at all!
“The Doctor ( Master Inquisitor ) will see you shortly .” That’s what I’m told. When a nurse tells you that it means “ In this century”. So I sit and wait, and wait, and wait. I begin to think I have been forgotten . Just left to die from the pain. There is no clock. I think I’ve been there for hours , perhaps days. No nurse checks. I could be dead.
This is too long for one post so I’ll finish it tomorrow.

8050 spins without a prize. Old Hapless thinks his bad luck is catching. If he cheers for a team then it loses. He is a Lion and Packer fan and look where they ended up. The lady he thought should win got eliminated last night on American Idol. He cheered for the lady pastor on Deal or no Deal and she ended up with $5.00. The local football team went undefeated when he wasn't paying attention but as soon as he started to cheer for them they lost. If you want a team to win get Old Hapless to cheer for the other side.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Old Hapless doesn't cheer for somebody that wins and thus get so excited he can't blog. We will be back tomorrow with another dull chapter of " As the World Spins'.

Just a note that I am sure my friend Lauries emergency room is far better than the one described above. I did a lot more walking today, some without the walker. Betty moved the Christmas ornaments from the lawn to the attic and then worked on a mine for the HO layout.
She made a fancy french toast for breakfast complete with peaches . It was very different. I am trying to get a hold of somebody from the museum board so I can offer them a garden railroad set up. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Bad pet care

Saying for the Day: Some people don't deserve to have a dog.

I was looking at another of the catalogues I got in the mail , you know snail mail spam. It was just for owners of pets . I don’t have any pets so I should have just thrown it away but I didn’t. I made the mistake of leafing through it. (Hey you need something to look at in the bathroom). Anyway I shouldn’t have looked because I discovered that when I had a pet I was a bad pet owner.
The first thing that struck my eye was an entire page on dog ear care. I guess it was for cats too but I never had a cat. The page had pads that dissolve waxy build up. Did you know your dogs ears are full of bacteria ?The page had a solution for that. Did you know there are little mites that crawl around in your dogs ears? The page had a miticide for that. Did you know that if your dogs ears are wet that a terrible yeast can grow there, The page had powder to prevent that. After looking at that page I felt so guilty. I never cleaned Bobo’s ears , not once. They must have been filled to overflowing with yeasty, waxy, bacteria loaded, ear mites. I bet those icky brown clumps we used to find on the floor weren't dirt the kids dragged in like we thought but were dog ear droppings. Ugh. No wonder the poor dog didn’t come when he was called. He probably couldn’t hear a thing.
The same catalogue had eight pages of dog beds, including their ever popular “Ultimate Classic Bed”. If you buy this bed you can get a matching collar. More guilt. I don’t know where our poor Bobo slept. He was supposed to sleep on a blanket on the hard floor (Hey we at least gave him a blanket). I suspect he slept on the couch but I never caught him because he always got off and went back on the blanket before I made it to the living room ( maybe he wasn’t as dumb as I thought). In any case I now know I should have bought him a bed. Do I ever feel guilty.( A good bed with a matching collar only costs $109.
There were two pages of arthritis medicines for dogs. Four different kinds depending on how bad the arthritis is. Bobo never had arthritis. He was just as fast when he died as he was as a puppy. He could still zoom out the front door and take off faster than a streak of greased lightning .In fact if he had arthritis he might have lived longer. We could have caught him before he found that lady dog and broke the blood vessel. Well that’s what the vet said happened any way. I didn’t say he was a moral dog. So I don’t have to feel guilty about that. But you know these dog medicines sound so good and my arthritis is so bad that maybe I’ll get some for me. I mean if it can help a dog it should be able to help me.
I closed the catalogue and put it in the recycle bin. I ‘ve had all the guilt I can take for today.

8000 spins without a prize. Well Old Hapless has reached another milestone. Eight thousand is a lot of spins on a slot machine. Eight thousand spins without hitting a single prize has got to be some kind of record. Old Hapless doesn't know if he should sit down and cry or have a celebration. He was going to have his big losers party at this point but has decided to hold off until 9000 which he now believes he can make. ( He is getting really good at losing). So he will confine his celebrating of this momentous day to having Mrs. Hapless get him some chocolate.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers of old Hapless doesn't change his mind and throw a party to end all parties causing him to have such a headache in the morning he can't blog. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of "As the World Spins".

Please note I have added another link to my list. These links are to blogs I enjoy reading and want to get to without a lot of typing. ( Note it does not mean I approve of everything written there or of the language used). If your interested in the debate over men having to pay for child care for a child they didn't want check out today's "Mind of Mimi" on the links. I put on real clothes today. Since my accident I have stayed in nightshirts until now. Betty went to Tops and I made my own lunch. I must be getting better. While she was gone I ordered some buildings she wanted for the HO layout ( a late birthday gift). UPS brought a gift from a kind person named Laurie . I only know her through the internet, She read my blog where I hobled to the kitchen to get the phone and she sent me a wirless phone. This shows that you need to be careful what you say on a blog because a kind person may read it. For all the evil people that are out there one can still find special, nice, kind people. Wow!!!Now I really do need a breathing treatment.