Friday, April 07, 2006

Spanish Inquisition-Part two

Saying for the Day: Somebody said that pain is the pathway to healing. I must really be getting well!!

I lay there in the modern equivalent of a torture chamber waiting for the Master Inquisitor ( the doctor) to finally arrive. The pain keeps growing even though I didn’t think that was possible.

Then suddenly the curtain parts and he strolls in. He has a great big smile.
Of course he does.He does the torturing he isn’t being tortured.
He is what one of my blogger friends would call a hunk.( Don’t any ugly men become doctors? ) Even if I was gay I wouldn’t have cared what he looked like I just wanted the pain to stop and this was the magic man.
He grabs my knee and probes. This I assure you does nothing but add to the pain. Then less it feel neglected he does the same thing to the other knee.
Now I await the magic. But instead he needs some x-rays . Now they change my oxygen so its portable and push me to another room at least miles from the cubicle.
There new tortures are applied. The legs are lifted and cold plates put under them. Smiling technicians keep telling me “just a few more”. Now they decide they need side views so they wrench the leg at an angle. If I could I would have killed them but I knew I couldn’t escape.
Finally back to the cubicle.
Again “ The Doctor will be back shortly”. This leads to another eternity of waiting. The pain grows again.
Then the curtains part again. The great one has come. Now there will be magic.
But , alas there isn’t. He says the x-rays show I have very bad arthritis. I knew that. That’s an old story. But he doesn’t think anything is broken. That means in a week or so the pain will go away. Okay I can go home.
Oh no! They aren’t ready to let me go yet. “ To be on the safe side” and help pay for the hospital he is sending me for a scan. The torture goes on. Again I am bounced down long halls to another chamber. This time I have to get from the table to the scan platform. Since there is only him and me that means I have to stand. Now I know real pain ( I don’t know what that other was). But I make it. The scan is quick and we have to reverse the process. Again I step down. Again new pain.
Then I’m back on the table. I’m bounced back to the cubicle.
The Doctor will be with me as soon as some mysterious person cloistered somewhere in the building reads the scan.
So I wait and wait. The mysterious person must be in China. Perhaps the mysterious person is at a party. She could be lost and they can’t find her . The pain goes on.
Finally the Doctor arrives. There is no break. There isn’t even a crack.
I wait for him to shoot my knees full of something . He doesn’t. He gives me a prescription for a pain killer to be filled at K-Mart. K-Mart, not even the hospital pharmacy.
I say to him now I can go home and take a hot bath. He says he wouldn’t advise it as the knees will swell. He just wants the suffering to continue.
But now I can go home. First of course they have to get me back into my pants with all the pain that entails. Then they put me back in the wheel chair of pain and roll me to the car. Then I have to be wrenched into the seat. But its over. I’m free. I survived the Inquisition.
I have been there six hours. I have more pain than when I came but I'm free.
Ah but we still have to stop at K-Mart and I have to sit and wait for the prescription. That was not a pain free time. And I can’t look forward to a hot bath. We have to figure out how to get me into the house.
But I’m free. I’m alive. I survived the Emergency Room.

8100 spins without a prize. Old Hapless had begun to think that there are a lot of morons out there in the gaming world. Every day when he enters his tickets at Prize America and Group Lotto (35) tickets he gets the same advertisement after each entry. Thirty five times they offer him the same eight things. He doesn't want them Sam I am. He didn't want them yesterday. He didn't want them today. He won't want them tomorrow. Shouldn't they find a new eight items? Do they really want to sell something? Or are they just trying to wear him out? If he worked for the company he would at least alternate the adds. A little bit of variety might spark a little interest.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if the advertisers don't somehow wise up and change the adds causing old Hapless to laugh hysterically and not blog. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter of " As the World Spins".

Well I set Betty up with her own blog. She is not sure she will do much entering but she wanted to have a way to leave comments that had her picture instead of mine ( she's cuter). Now she has decided to blog so I gave her a link. She is going to think about a link to mine. My sister who intensly dislikes George Bush ( she doesn't hate anybody) hasn't called in three days. This makes me sad .Because though I don't know what to say to her ,since she judges everything I say to determine if I love her ( anything I say or don't say can and will be used against me) .I miss her voice. She is after all my sister and I care about her. Well I need a breathing treatment.


Anonymous TC said...

I do wonder about the medical profession these days. I've just come back from the orthopaedic surgeon today (again).

I've had X-rays, an MRI scan, and had my foot injected twice with some miracle syrum.

They still have no idea what it might be, and it's still not fixed.

Complete waste of time and money, as was yours, eh?

5:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do I find Betty's blog?

6:08 AM  
Blogger Chana said...

Well that was something! I'm glad that nothing was broken but sorry you have 'bad arthritis'. You must be pretty brave to deal with so much pain on a daily basis. My grandmother has it too and she suffers much :( ...Best wishes to Betty on her blog. I hope you put a link to it so we can all say hi.

6:53 AM  
Blogger Lori's Minute said...

I have to agree with everything you said today....ER docs are cute (at least the ones on tv are) and so is Betty.

8:18 AM  
Blogger Mimi said...

I have learned not to trust doctors. Especially ER ones. ER doctors only care about giving you a quick fix so you go home and lave them alone.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Catch said...

The whole medical profession leaves me very skeptical...or "spectacle" as Janice and I call it. I dont know that I trust any of them. Im sorry about your pain...arthritis is a grandfather had it...very painful.
I was glad to see Betty's pic on my blogger today!!!! I think the both of you are a very cute couple and I enjoy you both!

12:41 PM  
Blogger Catch said...

Dr John....I totally understand that you think all babies look like little Dad said the same thing. It must be a man I think they are all absolutely beautiful. And when I see them I just want to hold them!

5:39 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

The cat scans done in our ER are read by radiologists in Australia. I kid you not.

I think you need to pick up your phone and call your sis.. make the first move and tell her how you feel. Life is too short to be stubborn. :-)

5:50 PM  
Blogger kristi said...

I have not had the ultimate best luck with ER docs, I hate to hear that you are not feeling so hot. I hope you get feeling better soon

6:32 PM  
Blogger Annette Burkett said...

It takes a whole lot for me to go see a doctor these days. I can't remember the last time one actually looked at me as a person with feelings and emotions instead of a piece of paper on a chart. Why is it that you go thinking that they can at least fix the pain, but then they say call me if it gets worse? Hmmmm...guess it's a good thing it's easier for me to tolerate pain because sometimes it's hard to control my tongue.

By the way, I agree with Laurie. Even though I'm young, I've had first hand experience with life being too short.

Have a wonderfully blessed weekend and I hope you get to feeling better!

10:39 PM  
Anonymous Tina said...

And after six hours you are right back where you started. Oh, plus some extra pain from being poked and prodded. Go figure ... Tina

12:04 AM  

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