The Spanish Inquistion is Alive
Saying for the Day: Suffering builds character and your character needs building.
For those of you who wonder what happened to the Spanish Inquisition let me assure you that it is alive and well.
You know the Spanish Inquisition where they tortured you in order to save you. It still exists but now they call it an Emergency Room.
Not too long ago now my son delivered me into the hands of the Inquisitors.
I fell on a parking lot and hurt both legs. Son and wife got me into the van and to the Emergency Room. The pain was horrible.
At the emergency room the nurse on duty came out with a wheel chair designed to inflict maximum pain. It was old. It was rickety. It forced your body into a position where the legs would hurt even more. They wrenched me from the safety of the van into the wicked thing . This immediately increased my pain two fold.
I was wheeled into the outer chamber. The nurse said I should sit there until I was interviewed. Then she vanished.
I sat there for an hour with the pain increasing. Twice my wife tried to register me to start the process but was told that nothing could be done until the nurse interviewed me.
In the little cell where the interview was to take place there was no nurse.
Finally as my moans began to reach ear splitting level the head inquisitor or maybe a flunky showed up. I was wheeled into the cell and it began.
Was she concerned about my pain? No!! She wanted my life history which ended with the neat question. “Do you now have cancer?” I wanted to scream. “Lady I’m in pain ! What’s with the stupid questions”. But I didn’t. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.
Now she got to my pain. She wanted me to rate it from 1 to 10. How do you do that? If 10 is having both legs cut off by a jig saw while an elephant sat on your lap then it wasn’t a ten. So I decided on 7. That probably was a mistake . If I had said ten they might have helped me faster.
She wheeled me make back into the outer chamber and took her notes from the inquisition to the registration desk. Now I can register.
After registering which is mostly about how I am going to pay them for inflicting this pain they roll me back into the main chamber.
I’m told to sit there until a cubicle is open. Darn. I didn’t bring a cubicle opener.
An hour and a half go by. People who don’t seem to be in pain and can even walk are taken care of. I don’t think they are real patients. They are just to add to the pain.
Finally a cubicle opens. The nurse hauls the wheel chair to next torture level. Now I have to stand on those legs screaming in pain to get onto a table with wheels. First , however, I have to go through the humiliation of dropping my pants while two nurses watch. You of course can not examine knees through a pair of pants.
Then they lift me to the table. At this point my lungs begin to shut down. They see this and get me oxygen. You can not torture the victim if he passes out.
Now the pain increases because the legs which had begun to stiffen in a bent position are now stretched straight out. Now they pretend to be concerned and bring me something for the pain. It does nothing. Nothing at all!
“The Doctor ( Master Inquisitor ) will see you shortly .” That’s what I’m told. When a nurse tells you that it means “ In this century”. So I sit and wait, and wait, and wait. I begin to think I have been forgotten . Just left to die from the pain. There is no clock. I think I’ve been there for hours , perhaps days. No nurse checks. I could be dead.
This is too long for one post so I’ll finish it tomorrow.
8050 spins without a prize. Old Hapless thinks his bad luck is catching. If he cheers for a team then it loses. He is a Lion and Packer fan and look where they ended up. The lady he thought should win got eliminated last night on American Idol. He cheered for the lady pastor on Deal or no Deal and she ended up with $5.00. The local football team went undefeated when he wasn't paying attention but as soon as he started to cheer for them they lost. If you want a team to win get Old Hapless to cheer for the other side.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Old Hapless doesn't cheer for somebody that wins and thus get so excited he can't blog. We will be back tomorrow with another dull chapter of " As the World Spins'.
Just a note that I am sure my friend Lauries emergency room is far better than the one described above. I did a lot more walking today, some without the walker. Betty moved the Christmas ornaments from the lawn to the attic and then worked on a mine for the HO layout.
She made a fancy french toast for breakfast complete with peaches . It was very different. I am trying to get a hold of somebody from the museum board so I can offer them a garden railroad set up. Well I need a breathing treatment.