Friday, March 31, 2006

The family fight again.

Saying for the Day: Families are given to us so that we always have somebody to fight with.
I am fighting with my sister again. I hate it when I fight with her. I hardly slept last night. (This is the Bush hating sister)
Before you jump to take my side ( because most of the time I’m such a nice guy) let me tell you something about my sister.
She is the best sister anyone could ever have and that’s a fact.
All my life she has been there for me.
In school she fought my battles.
When I almost died she came to the hospital every day.
She pushed me to work to walk again.
She called every day after I got home to see how I was.
She went fifteen miles out of her way to bring rocks for my garden railroad.
She is a kind, wonderful, person.
This fight as usual is my fault.
I think there is something in the Linna genes that causes me to fight with family.
My father spent years not talking to his brother over some kind of beard pulling during the city centennial. I thought that was really stupid.
However, I spent a few years not talking to my sister over something so trivial I can't remember what it was. (There I was telling the congregation they should be forgiving and I wasn’t forgiving her. I felt like such a hypocrite. )
Today’s fight started with her daily telephone call to see how I was doing. It began in an ordinary fashion . She asked how I was. She told me how bad things were in the world because of George Bush. ( She is the only person who can cause me to try to defend him).
Then she asked if I knew the names of her seven grandkids. I didn’t. ( She of course knew the names of my five)
I perceived that as an attack on me as a brother (probably a bad perception).
I asked why I should and she said because they are family.
I perceived that as an attack on my dedication to family (probably another bad perception).
In my defense three of my grand children have been to her house. They have fished off her dock. None of her grand children have ever been to my house.
So I told her that I would now spend the rest of the day feeling guilty because I didn’t know her grand children’s names. ( I may not have said this in exactly that way)
She perceived this as an attack on her. ( Not my intent)
So she accused me of always attacking her and terminated the conversation.
Now I will have to call an apologize. ( That’s what you do when its your fault)
If she is convinced I am sincere she will forgive me. Life will return to normal.
Unless she asks the why question.” Why do you do this?’
There is no right answer to that question because she is a rational being and I’m not. She wants a rational answer. I don’t have one. I can’t explain to her that she stepped on one of my emotional triggers because that’s not rational.
Well if I’m lucky she won’t ask.
Life will get back to normal.
There will be more rocks for the garden next summer.

7750 spins without a win. Mrs. Hapless got ten lottery tickets for her birthday, the scratch off kind. She scratched all ten and won $1.00. That's their total winning for the year $1.00. Since the tickets cost $10.00 that's really a loss of nine. Mrs. Hapless used the buck to tip the grocery boy and so now they don't even have that . Oh well! Easy come easy go.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if someone doesn't give old Hapless a ticket worth a million dollars causing him to visit Finland and quit computing. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of " As the World Spins".

Well I finally got up enough courage to call my sister and tell her I was sorry. I'm not sure she believed me but I tried. Then I worked on the church website.Betty went out with her birthday club and had a great meal. Now I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger Mimi said...

I wish I had a sibling to fight with. I really do. Regardless of your fights, it sounds like you two have a special and loving relationship! You are lucky!

6:17 AM  
Blogger Lori's Minute said...

Well, I doubt this will make you feel better, but I can only remember one of her grandkids names. I think she is the irrational one by asking you such a question....what kind of famiily member asks a question like that? It puts you on the spot and automatically in the defensive mode, right? She had time to think about the names of your grandkids and then does not ask you until she knows all the names of yours....maybe even had them writtan down on a napkin which she will put in her memory box to remind her of the day she ticked her brother off for no reason other than to get some type of enjoyment out of it.

My mother use to tell me these people who do this do it to make themselves feel better.

There ends my lesson for the day.

I feel bad that you feel bad so I hope you feel better soon. I do not like it when my fellow bloggers are hurt!


8:18 AM  
Blogger Bella said...

I conceived it as the family needs to be al ittle closer. Then again, I don't know you're family and I have only visited twice. There aren't many people who like to admit that they caused a fight. I think the fact that you have realized your side of the conversation is enough said. Again, that's just my interpretation.

9:19 AM  
Blogger Chana said...

..i have a wannabe grump in my life, he would love to come across as grumpy when in reality he is a softee and full of kindness...
I think your words will mean the world to your sister. They are a testimony of love and truth-what else could be better than that?

I have found that sibblings know how to push each other's buttons. It doesn't matter how old we grow to be. It's part of the relationship, i don't know why. What it means though it's that there is love and care. Nothing wrong with that.

Please extend a great hug to your beautiful wife. I hear it is her birthday. I hope she has a love-filled day.

9:33 AM  
Anonymous TC said...

She'll probably read the blog and you'll be sorted!

I'm an only child meself.

10:00 AM  
Blogger Bubbster said...

Yep..fighting with siblings. Ten in our family...guess there never was a time when someone was fighting. I use to like to agitate. Looking back...I just shake my head. How foolish. Two siblings have passed away. Third and fourth are very ill. Of course what do you expect, I am the youngest at 52. The next oldest is 13 years my senior. I don't like to agitate any more. I would rather love like Jesus loves and let bygones be bygones. None in my family are perfect, especially me.

10:50 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

My sister and I used to have Jerry Springer-style fights when we both lived under the same roof - you know, that's the kind where furniture flies... we still get into our share of fights and there have been times when we don't speak for a while, but then somehow we wind up forgiving and moving on. I think that's the way it is with a lot of siblings. The thing is not to let your sis push your buttons like that. And don't be so hard on yourself, either.. we all have our moments :-)

Happy Birthday to Betty, too!

11:20 AM  
Blogger Catch said...

I am enjoying your blog!!! And having 2 brothers myself I understand the brother/sister relationships. My brothers and I have fought over the craziest things over the we are all in our 50's and hopefully growing wiser. At the moment here we are all on speaking One time my Father was having open heart surgery so the 3 of us went to Florida where Mom and Dad were staying for the winter......we got into a big ole fight down goodness Dad was in the hospital and didnt witness it...and Mom just kinda rolls with the I will start a blog on all the dumb things we have founght you know...I do love them dearly...Im the first one to argue with them and I am the first one to defend them...go figure!

12:34 PM  
Blogger Marie said...

sounds like she sort started it by starting with the Bush stuff, doesn't it? Kind of you to forgive.

3:49 PM  
Blogger Pennie said...

Well ,
Since I am most like both of you. I understand the situation.


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Blogger Sister Chris said...

As you can see I cathing up with my comments--yes we have a very good and gracious sister, and are blessed to have her as a sister!! You can put on your list that she and paul loaned me $700 to pay off my credit cards when I broke my wrist and couldn't work all those months. But that is ok about your grandkids, as none of your grandkids have ever been to Central Illinois either!! I keep inviting them but they say it is too far of a drive. (but it's not too far of a drive for us??) maybe your families will come for a visit sometime, although truth be known, there's not alot to do here but sit on the side of the striaght and level roads watching the corn and the beans grow!!
have a good day!

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