Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Hell is like .......

Saying for the day: Hell is spending eternity in a 4x8 room with your worst enemy.

If you ever wondered what it would be like to spend eternity in hell I can tell you.

I have just spent four days there.

Hell is being stuck in a lift chair and forced to watch American television hour after hour.

You can add to the mix a remote control. This causes the poor person to believe that he will find a program of value somewhere in the vast wasteland.

Channel after channel I went (of course our cable system only has only 31 channels.)

I watched reruns of Law and Order, Quincy, and Perry Mason.

I watched four different soaps. Two on CBS and two on ABC. Boy do those people suffer.

I was subjected to two hours of American Idol. (My wife loves this show and I usually hide in the computer room)

I even watched the President’s news conference.

Real hell would be stuck in a room with a television you can’t turn off and no matter what channel you go to there is President Bush explaining the war in Iraq.

Hell couldn’t be worse than that.

7300 spins without a prize. Old hapless is wondering if it is better to lose all the time and thus not expect to win or to win and win and win and then suddenly lose. The local basketball team went through the entire season without a loss and through the first two levels of tournament play. Then they met another team that hadn’t lost either. Their win streak ended. How bad they must feel. One day they thought they could be state champions and now its over. Old hapless never feels like that because he never wins and thus no expectation.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn’t win at something and thus become so afraid of losing that he never spins again. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of “As the World Spins”.

Well I'm back in the lift chair. I tried walking but only got in two steps before I couldn't handle the pain. Betty went to Tops. Now she has gone to the Doctor in Iron Mountain. So I am not only stuck in the chair but I am all alone. She did bring the phone here in case I have to call out.When Betty came back I tried wheeling myself to the bathroom . I made it. I still needed Betty to keep the oxygen cord from tangling. Well I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger Mimi said...

I feel for you! TV is awful anymore!

6:33 AM  
Blogger kristi said...

I was on my back after a spinal tap for 9 days, I got to the point on day 3 where I just could not take it anymore, so I feel for you too. TV does suck anymore, especially American Idol, that was torture in itself having to watch that!!!

8:02 AM  
Anonymous TC said...

Dear Dr. John

I am writing to complain about the state of television these days. I now refuse to watch:

Soap Operas, where more crime and discontent happens in one small village or street than is physically possible.

Unreality Shows, where people are egged on to think they can be the next Elvis, then disappear without a trace after three months.

Makeover Shows, where people get sliced and diced because they have an inferiority complex about their appearance. Helloooooo! It doesn't change what's inside. Just take the assertiveness classes and skip the scalpel.

Next we'll be subjected to live TV sex-change operations.

Damn, I shouldn't have said that, NBC may be watching...

Yours faithfully,

Grumpy Old Man

P.S. Now that's a good TV show over here!

8:26 AM  
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10:18 AM  
Blogger The Center of the Universe said...

Sir John! I feel for you, having recently spent 96-hours with my brain hooked up to a VEEG machine. I am honored to have come across your blog and have added it to my library. I will visit it often. I hope you will visit mine. I am the Center of the Universe, after all. Your responce to my commentary may indeed effect the course of the world! Live well, my Friend.

1:13 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:53 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Your blog just ate my comment!!

Hope that you're up and about and outta that chair real soon, Doc.. sending you love and (((hugs)))

I hate American Idol, too - and you're idea of Hell gave me the shudders; makes me want to repent repent repent! LOL

1:55 PM  
Blogger vasilisa said...

Yes, TV is hell nowadays. It's like they forgot that the purpose was entertainment. Now the purpose is to dull you stupid. After which they hope you will be receptive to reasons to go to Iraq.

7:15 PM  
Anonymous loisontheweb said...

I guess that I will choose to keep my disabilities ... yours don't sound like too much fun & make mine seem trivial.
Hoping Spring brings a new, better situation for you. It's great to hear you talking yourself into optimism!

7:25 PM  
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5:09 PM  

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