Saturday, March 18, 2006

Get Your own Dino

SAying for the Day: Having any kind of a pet tends to take your mind off of your troubles and makes for a longer life.

Because of the family interest in archeology and biology my sons and I have acquired a small piece of a dinosaur sealed in a solid rock.
With much work we have extracted the dinosaur DNA and with the help of a surrogate alligator we have cloned eleven dinosaurs.

They are not yet fully grown but are maturing fast.

We have decided to put them up for sale on the internet.

We were going to put them on Ebay but decided against it.
We couldn't decide on a category.
They are clearly not toys.
They are not by any stretch of the imagination pets.
We don’t know what they are.

So we have decided to offer them for sale to the readers of this blog.

That’s right dear reader we are offering them to you.

You can be the first one in your neighborhood to own a dinosaur.

Just think of how you neighbors will look up to you and to your dinosaur.

Any trouble your having with dogs, cats, deer, rabbits etc. is over. Your dino will take care of them all.

I do have to tell you they are not yet housebroken so you really need a big barn to house them in.

A very big barn.

I assure you they do not violate the president’s ban on cloning. They contain no human DNA . Unless of course you count the DNA of my neighbor George that they accidentally ate.
But I don’t think that influences their DNA any more than that pig you ate influences yours.

Now the best news of all we really need the cash so we are letting them go for just $12.55 a piece or $24.00 for a pair (subject to availability)

You read right. Just $12.55 and you have a dynamite dino of your own.

Get a pair, grow your own. Go into the dino business.

There will be , of course be a small shipping and crating charge of $650,123.87 for each dino ordered .
They are really hard to crate and all craters need that darn expensive life insurance.
You also need to have a train depot near you because they can only be shipped by rail.

You must hurry because they are growing fast and will soon be to big to ship and you will lose your chance to have your own Jurasic Park.

Read what my previous customers have written.

Mrs. Allen Hobato from Clinkersville , Idaho writes.
Pop would have written you himself but he is still in the hospital getting his hand stitched back on after his accident. We are so lucky to be in the new fast growing dinosaur business. Our first eggs haven’t even hatched yet and we have twenty orders. We will be millionaires and Pop will probably be able to use most of his fingers. Thank you ever so much.

Ronald Allisum of Everglades, Florida writes:
Thanks for getting us started in this wonderful new business. The dinosaurs get along well with our alligators and aside from the loss of a few nosey neighbors we haven’t had any trouble. The dinosaurs seemed to really enjoy the neighbors. I am looking forward to the millions I’ll make when I sell my first lot. Thanks again.

Remember there are only seven of them left and when they are gone . They are gone. We may not be cloning any more.

Plus I am thinking of keeping one to control the deer but only if I can train him not to step on my garden railroad.

@@@
7100 spins without a prize. Hapless found another web site based on chaos theory with a little bit more. "The research uses complex approaches like trend analysis, linear- and route-regression, Fourier analysis, chaos theory - and other systems that make your head spin." All of this to get you good lotto numbers for only $35.00 a year. Not a month like the other place. But this place has no guantees. You gets your numbers and you takes your chances. Hapless still believes he can win for free.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't change his mind and buys those winning numbers thus causing him to win and move to a warm island paradise. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure in "As TheWorld Spins"
***

I am a bit late this morning since the pain pills I'm taking caused me to sleep late, If the doctor is right I'll have a week of this pain caused by yesterday's fall. If you think my average day is dull this one is far worse. All I've done is sleep and scream (for my wife to bring me something like this laptop.) Now I need a breathing treatment.
GB YA

3 Comments:

Blogger Mimi said...

I hope you are feeling better! I will pray for you tonight!
I am intrested in a dino. My hubby is being a crab today! LOL :)

6:14 PM  
Anonymous TC said...

I used to be very partial to a poached dinosaur egg.

However, my wife got tired of heating up the tin bath on the bonfire to cook them.

Take care, Doc - and stop running around!

12:06 AM  
Blogger Chana said...

I'm interested for sure. We have 6 kids between my mate and me so we can use something that will keep them busy and entertain...But then again, a dinosaur plus 6 kids might be more than i can chew....i'll have to sleep on it...i'll get back to you.

11:07 AM  

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