Wednesday, March 08, 2006

3. Hetico's three laws !!!

Contest prizes(with pictures)......... Contest rules
Saying for the day: Never do something that you can get someone else to do for you.
---Everybody knows Murphy’s laws but today I an going to reveal to the handful of people who read my blog the long kept secret of Hetico’s Laws.

These laws were formulated and given to me by my intern supervisor and mentor , Dr. Bob Hetico after I signed a document in blood that I would never reveal them.

Understand that before you continue to read, that I expect you to take an oath never to reveal these laws to anybody. If you can’t do that leave and read some other blog.

For those of you who remain:

Hetico’s first law of getting work done.
The less you know how to do the more other people will do for you.

Every night my wife carefully straps on my breathing mask because she is sure I can’t do it myself ( of course I can). It never occurs to her that if I can get up and go to the bathroom and come back that I must be taking off and putting on the mask myself. This is how well Hetico’s law works.

Hetico’s law number two:
If you are not good at doing a job a superior person will do the job for you.

This is a wonderful law. I can not count the number of times in my ministry when I heard
“ Here Pastor let me do that for you’.

It of course meant I had to swallow my ego but getting somebody else to do your job is worth it.

Hetico’ s law number three:
If cleaning up after you or redoing the job you did will take more effort than doing the job someone will do the job for you.

Lets say I want to make some bread and I say to my wife
“dear will you get me two eggs”.

Her first thought is to say “Go get your own eggs .What do you think I am your servant.”

But she suddenly remembers the two eggs you dropped on the floor and how much trouble it was to clean up.

She gets you the eggs. You see how well Hetico’s laws work.

Now, you have been entrusted with the secret of Hetico‘s Laws.

Reveal them to no one.

Remember if you do : You will have to get your own eggs.

6600 spins without a win. The results are in and the winner of yesterday's surprise prize is Lauri from Stranded in Suburbia. That's two days in a row. Yesterday's prize is 21 blog explosion credits. TC from Twisted Chili dot Com was one point behind. Contest will now end tomorrow instead of Sunday. Judge has grandchildren coming and wants to be done judging. I NEVER ARGUE WITH THE JUDGE.

Betty did a bit of cleaning and then went to Tops. I started the bread I am taking to tonight's soup and bread meal at the church. The first loaf is done and looks pretty good. The pad came for the table. Now if only the track would come.
Very dull afternoon. Then we went to church. Fourty people came which was very good considering the local basketball team was playing in the tournament ( They won). The sermon was very good. Now I need a breathing treatment.


Anonymous TC said...

Dear Dr. John.

I believe I have already been applying The Three Laws of Hetico empirically, by chance, all by myself, for several years now, at work. Here are some examples:

Law #1
The Boss wants some tricky graphs of world-wide economic trends doing and it is 17:00. You plead ignorance of such software skills, but humbly offer to be placed on a training course. The graphs are assigned to some other poor soul, and also the task of training you.

Of course the training will happen tomorrow, because right now he has to do those graphs!

Law #2.
Always pretend to be a useless navigator in the car. E.g. it is Friday, around 15:30 and the Boss wants you to drive him to the airport, which is in the opposite direction in which you want to go, and you have a four-hour drive to get home yourself.

No problem. Take him, and get lost on the way. Show willing but apologetic. He misses his flight; you never have to take him to the airport again. (The key here is the “show willingness”. If you overdo this one, you might never take him anywhere else ever again).

Law #3
You are assigned to transcribe the resulting actions of a highly important meeting on the white board. This you willingly do, but unbeknown to the rest of the participants, you have actually used a permanent marker. When the next meeting participants file in, try to clean the whiteboard, and shout angrily: “What ******* idiot used a permanent marker on the white board?” you sheepishly own up.

Thus guaranteeing that you never have to take the meeting actions or minutes again.

What thinkest thou o Doc? Have I reached the position of Honorary Acolyte?

Yours Curmudgeonly,

Twisted “3 laws” Chili

6:59 AM  
Blogger Mimi said...

My hubby is a diligent follower of Hetico's Laws!

10:13 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

Are these laws related to the 'dumb dog' theory I have where my dog acts dumb to avoid learning anything? ( I have excluded myself from the contest because I do not want the judge to feel guilty...sort of like how ABC employess and their families cannot win any contests that are done on ABC. Plus, then I do not have to follow the rules...Lori

10:25 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

I work with some people that follow the laws, and I just let them either flounder, or suck up and do whatever it is themselves.

You're lucky I'm not your wife ;-)

12:11 PM  
Anonymous L.C. said...

Oh--I love these laws! They are hilarious.

1:37 PM  
Blogger Pennie said...

Hello Dad,

I love laws thanks for sharing Hetico's with me. I would comment on them but in order never to repeat them I had to forget them immediately after reading them.

I am glad that the sermon was good.


7:28 PM  

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