Sunday, February 26, 2006

Where's that stupid violin ?

Saying for the day: If you can't trust television commercials what can you tust?

There is definitely something wrong with my microwave.

This is strange because its almost new. It even has one of those glass things that go round and round by themselves. It has a touch screen instead of buttons. It is state of the art in every way.

With this microwave I have been careful not to put my gold rimmed “ Trust me I’m a Doctor “ cup in to heat my coffee. Microwaves, even state of the art microwaves, can’t read.

The old microwave blew the gold off the rim of the cup and then quit working. The repairman, who couldn’t repair it said I shouldn’t have done that. Then he sold me this one.

Well this microwave I have treated like the delicate cooking instrument it is.

I have even read the instruction book that came with it.

That's why this is so disturbing.

I put in a packet of Uncle Ben’s pre-cooked rice . I set the time according to the instructions. I wait the bell rings. I take out the packet. I wait.

No candelabra.

No violin.

No violin player.

Now I’ve watched the TV commercial. I know I should get a candelabra, a violin, and a violin player. There is one with every bag.

So where are mine?

I tried different settings.

I went through 18 bags.

I took it in to the repair shop. Same repairman that couldn’t fix my old machine said there was nothing wrong with it.

O Ya! Where’s my violin.

Where’s my candelabra.

He ushered me quickly out of the shop . He knew I had him.

So here I sit with bowls and bowls of rice and a non working microwave.

You know maybe its not big enough. The guy that comes with the violin is pretty big.

Maybe there is a newer state of the art machine that has a teleport violin player feature.

I complain to my wife.

She says , because she is kind and compassionate.

“Stop whining and eat your rice”.

I can’t. I hate rice. I like violins.

@@@
6150 spins without a prize. Hapless loser is excited. Thirty five times today while entering his losing tickets on Group Lotto and Prize America he was given the opportunity to buy genuine diamond earnings for a buck. That buck included the shipping. Real genuine diamond earrings , not those imitation zircon earnings. Not those glass pretender earrings. Real, genuine diamond earrings. He would have jumped at the chance . Well actually at the thirty five chances. Except his wife doesn't wear earrings. His wife has never worn earrings. Maybe he should have bought them anyway on the off chance that someday he will get his tongue pierced. Will that happen? It's all the rage.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers. If the roof doesn't cave in from the weight of all that snow causing the computer to cease working. You might find out tomorrow on "As the World Spins".
***

Question of the moment. What do you get if you mix the DNA of an elephant with the DNA of a laughing hyena?

Betty has gone to church to serve muffins. Where would the churh be without its faithful muffin servers? I am baking pepper bread and researching blogs. I am trying to find out what gets comments.
I tested my how to lose in a blog battle today. I choose a blog with many more wins than l;oses. One with a great template, and one that had fairly good writing to take on. And I lost. I got whomped. I am on my way to the bottom. I dropped 100 points in the rankings. If I choose with care I may not need my special bad blog. This one will be bad enough.
Betty went to Iron River to get a prescription filled. I had garlic and cheese potatoe pamcakes ready for her when she got home.
What I discovered when I was trying to find out which blogs got comments caused me to decide to do a short sociological study. First I needed a random sample. Blog explosion supplied that since I blog in an unrestricted category and rule nothing out. Then I chose the time period from 2:11 to 3:11 to do the sampling. I let blog explosion take me from random blog to random blog and asked of each blog only one question. How many comments did it have on the last entry. I threw out blogs that didn't allow comments. These are my findings. 51 of 78 blogs had no comments at all. That's a little shy of 2/3 or 65.38% to be exact. If you take all the blogs with less than three comments the total is 64 and they make up 83% of the blogs. The blog with the most comments had 21 . So if you are sad because you are getting no or few comments at least you know that 4/5 of all the blogs are in the same boat.
My pepper bread turned out very well.
I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

6 Comments:

Anonymous lydia said...

the only sure fire way to get comments is commenting on other blogs. that's the only way...so much work...ahh well. hows the offensive blog coming along?

10:57 AM  
Blogger Shrinking Wop said...

Dr. John here's comment for you.

Thanks for the comment on my blog.

I know my spelling is bad. Most of the time I spell words wrong on purpose for effect or exaggeration. Other times... I just spell them wrong.

I type everything in WORD and then cut and paste to my blog and use spellcheck. Sometimes I just miss the mistakes.

I rarely comment on other peoples blogs because I don't have the time but Lydia is probably correct.

I find that "Bloglet" really helps me. I have 234 subscribers to my blog that are notified of any new post I have. Many of my comments come from them.

Thanks

Tony

3:36 PM  
Anonymous Anna30 said...

An elephant that laughs a lot or a very slow hyena.

4:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a very fast elephant?

4:18 PM  
Blogger Pennie said...

The world was falling apart when I thought my dad was eating rice. That he wants a violen I can understand but 18 bags of rice. I am also waiting for my guy to arrive when I eat mentos. Sometimes I think they should be arrested for false advertising.

Pennie

8:52 PM  
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