Thursday, February 23, 2006

Onward to the Bottom

Saying for the Day: People who set unreachable goals and constantly strive toward them are either heroic or just plain stupid.
--Well my losers alliance fell through. One person was willing to join. I even checked my e-mail this morning and there were no secret messages. My readers are mostly highly ethical bloggers who are above that sort of thing. So I have set a new goal.
I have set very few goals in my life . That’s because when I set them I never reach them anyway. What I needed was a goal I could reach. Blog Explosion, I thought, offered me that goal.

I had lost two blog battles in a row. I was in 2085 place. The very bottom was at 2654. I knew in my heart I could reach the bottom.

So I set as my reachable goal becoming the 2654th blog in the Battle of The Blogs.

Piece of cake right. I don’t have an alliance right. I was cannon fodder for the big blogs. The ones with 500 or more wins. There was no way I could fail.

That’s when disaster struck. I threw out a challenge. I really expected the big blogs to jump on it. But no! Some poor little guy, like me, decided to take me on. It was the battle of the losers. It was near the bottom against nearer the bottom.

I won.

I don’t know how I won. I don’t have an alliance. My content is really dull. I do have some theories.

Somebody left a comment that they voted for me because I said I was fair. Telling the truth helped to do me in.

The other votes, I don’t know. It was late at night. Maybe the voters were too tired to read and liked my dragons. A dragon is always good for a vote or two. Maybe they liked my fortress. Maybe they liked my deer pole.

Whatever the reason I won. I blew it. My goal may now be out of reach.

Do you know what damage one win can do? Sports has 1 win and 32 looses and is still 16 spaces from the bottom. 32 loses and still 16 spaces away from my ultimate goal.

Do you know how long it will take me to lose 32 more battles? And by then there is a good chance that Sports will have lost a couple more. The carrot, place number 2654, will keep moving farther and farther away.

But this is my goal and I have a plan. First I make no more challenges. Instead I wait for people with over 300 wins to enter a challenge. They must have an alliance. Then I will take them on. It’s a guaranteed loss unless of course the loser’s alliance decides to make me their poster blog. Then I will be doomed.

Maybe a better strategy would be to help Sport and those below him to win. I need to watch and always vote for the one’s on the very bottom.

As they move up I move down.

Yep I think that’s the way to go. Unless of course I can find somebody with 800 wins to take on.

6000 spins without a prize. For hapless loser today is a milestone day. A day that will stand out from all other days in his personal history. A day to write up in his diary. A day to call the kids and tell them about. A day his grandchildren will talk about to their grandchildren in the distant future. Today was the day that hapless loser spun his 6000th losing spin. Try to imagine what that means. In your mind see 6000 liberal blogs placed end to end and using the words "Fascist George Bush" 6000 times. Or imagine a pile of Danish flags, 6000 flags high, being set on fire by 6000 peace loving Muslims. It just boggles the mind. 6000 losing spins. It is almost time for the losers party.
Can hapless top this? Can he go on to 7000 and even 8000 spins without a prize.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Sports doesn't lose another battle and cause poor Dr. John to fall off the fortress drawbridge we will try to answer that question tomorrow on " As the World Spins"

Betty gave me the last egg for breakfast today. This means no egg for tomorrow for my egg and muffin. Egg and muffin without the egg is..... well! just muffin. On the food front I told my wife the cereal she was eating didn't have real peaches and strawberries but freeze dried apples flavored to taste like peaches and strawberries. So she read me the side of the box. She is so naive that she believes what they put on the box but I know the truth because I read blogs.
Betty is painting a mountain and I have just finished printing out a week's worth of my blogs for my computer hating sister. She wants to read them and I want her to be happy. If she hadn't pushed me while I was in the hospital I probably still wouldn't be able to walk. There is nothing like " I'll show you !!" for motivation. Thirty six pieces of paper , printed one side. If I was to mail the stuff in my blogs out to my regular readers every week that would come to 252 sheets of paper. A ream every other week. Think of how many trees I save by blogging.
Well after lunch we watched March of the Penguins. I have two observations. It is a good movie and I'm glad I'm not a penguin. I can't imagine walking in 80 below zero weather. I don't go out at 4 below.
Well everything else we did comes under the category extra dull so I won't report it here. The air is full of the smell of mountain paint and I need a breathing treatment.


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