Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Mr. President ! We need hot air!

Saying for the day: A windmill a day keeps Arab oil at bay!

----Mr. President ! I have the answer.

I heard your state of the union address the other night. Well at least five minutes of it.

I heard you say we have to end our dependency on foreign oil.

Well I have a way to do that and fight global warming.

Windmills. Yes windmills.

No! Not the big ugly kind that mess up the entire horizon. They could help but who would want one of those things next door.

No, the windmill I’m talking about was developed by a University student in India. Its almost fits in your pocket and it makes electricity. It doesn't take much wind and the hotter the wind the more electricity.

Of course right now it doesn’t produce much electricity but that can be changed. We buy the rights to the windmill and turn it over to our super smart scientists.

They haven’t been too good lately at producing new stuff but boy what they can do with other people’s inventions.

Soon we’ll have a little windmill capable of producing a lot of power with just a little wind.

Then I need you to pass the “Energy Producing Bill of 2007”.

I know it will be tough because you have to get it by all those Democrats that got elected in 2006. But you can do it The man that all by himself got us into the war in Iraq can get a little legislation past even if the fight is up hill. Besides mention cutting back on global warming and every Democrat will salivate and vote.

The purpose of this legislation will be first to fund a nationwide windmill plug in grid. All over the country there will be outlets where the little windmills can be plugged in. The law will require all buildings to have them, no exceptions. They will feed the national power grid.

Next the law will require certain classes of people to carry the little windmill or windmills with them wherever they go and to plug them into the nearest outlet whenever they speak.

Now the classes of people.

Lets start with pastor’s. There is more hot air generated in the nation’s pulpits than on a high bluff in Colorado. Just think Sunday after Sunday all that power goes to waste. There would be a problem with separation of church and state but that could be worked out.

Next of course would be Bishops. They generate more hot air than pastors and not just on Sundays. When they get together in their Bishop groups the hot air just pours out. One has to believe they could produce a full day of power for the entire nation every year.

The next group would be anchor people at CBS, ABC, FOX, CNN, NBC etc. The hot air generated there boggles the mind. The grid would come to life every time one of them says “It seems to us here at”. This is quality hot air. Prime time hot air. Nation saving hot air.

Next come the sports commentators. Now there is an untapped source of hot air if you ever saw one. Comments like “ Well Bob , it seems to me that despite the closeness of the game the team that’s ahead at the end of the game will win”. Could power every electric car in America for a month. And just think how far we could go on “ When I was part of the old Dolphins we would never have left that happen." Power just being wasted now.

Then of course the legislation has to include talk show hosts. If ever there was an unlimited source of hot air there it is. They pontificate even more than Bishops. There is a power gold mine there just waiting to be used for good.

Finally Mr. President the Presidency itself must be included. Why your state of the union address alone was a fantastic producer of hot air. Your presidency thus far has produced more hot air than almost any President before you.

Well we should amend that to include all politicians. The Democratic response to your address could have heated a lot of homes. Hot air is hot air and Democrat hot air is as good as Republican .

So Mr. President get out there an act. Get the money to buy the patent, fund the research, build the grid. Then pass the legislation.

Why once its done your continued speaking will allow us to close every coal and oil powered electric plant in the country. Just think of the impact on global warming. Your popularity will soar.

Well, except with my computer hating sister she will still hate you. That’s what she does.

6300 spins without a prize. Hapless loser almost didn't blog today. He spent all yesterday waiting for Publisher's Clearing House to ring the doorbell and give him his check. He new this was the day. All those entries were going to pay off. He had even memorized the speech they sent him in his email so he could get an extra $50,000. But they never came. He even went out in the cold and checked his doorbell to be sure it was working. There were no balloons, no oversize check. He didn't get on national television. He was and still is devastated. But life must go on. There are spins to spin and lottos to be played.
So Uncle Wiggly lovers if Betty will come and tell us about Tops. Thus providing enough of a push on our little windmill to run the computer we will be back tomorrow with " As the World Spins".

Personal Stuff as opposed to whatever that was above this stuff.
For those of you who are wondering when I'm going to post that really bad blog I am sorry to tell you the goal has changed. I did the math. To reach the bottom I have to lose 243 battles in a row. ( that's assuming the blog that has the title doesn't lose any more which is as unlikely as hapless loser spinning and winning the million). Now since I'm only willing to wager 10 credits and those battles go very slow. I can only lose two battles a day. That means it would take 122 days to reach the bottom. Four months of having that bad blog as the only thing my eight regular readers would see. They would be deprived of my sparkling wit, my well chosen phrases, and the humble way I do things. I couldn't do that to them so I have shifted the goal. I still intend to reach the bottom but I am creating another blog to do it with. It will be called Dr. John' s Fortress 2. It will repeat the same bad content day after day. With a small change here or there.
I'll let you know when I launch it and how its doing. Until then you will see this blog in blog battles from time to time. I won't care if it wins or loses. Ten credits bet here gets you fifteen visits. Five more visits than the regular route. If only one reads the blog I'm ahead.
Betty has gone to Tops and will come home with great gossip. I am going to the basement to get started on my newest project. If she was home she wouldn't let me do it.
Brought up the G scale track and tested the kit bashed train engine I made yesterday. Surprise it works well. My pepper bread was so good that today I am baking a loaf of Zero bread.
The bread turned out well but Betty didn't like it as well as the pepper bread. Betty spent the afternoon working on bases for the fantasy train and painting HO log piles. We discovered the track we had made too big a circle so I searched the internet for some 3 foot diameter G scale track and found some at Hartland Locomotives. I ordered the full circle.
Well we are going to the Ash Wednesday service. I'll get a breathing treatment when we get home.


Anonymous Bonanza Jellybean said...

I think Mr. President ALONE could produce enough to at least cover Washington for a week or so...

I'm reminded of a story I read that said if we could harness the methane produced by a herd of cows in one day, it could produce enough energy to run a car for a year.

Soemhow I don't think the ideas are that different. :)

7:36 PM  
Anonymous TC said...

If you want a good transatlantic source of hot air, look no further than Tony Bliar over here.(No, that's not a spelling error).

Hot air? More like the exhaust of a 747 Rolls Royce engine (with SPIN included).

1:41 AM  

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