Sunday, March 05, 2006

Why I love American Women

Saying for the Day: There are only two kinds of men in the world. Those that exploit women and those that are scared to death of them.

---I read on a blog that some poor guy in Columbia has to spend the next four years under house arrest for slapping some poor women on the behind while he was riding a bicycle.

He even rode off too fast for her to get her shoe off and throw it at him.

Well it serves that male chauvinist right.

He’s lucky he doesn’t live in America.

Here, if he had been riding a bicycle and slapped a women on the posterior, he would have been in real trouble.

First, of course, she wouldn’t have taken time to take off her shoe.

She would have karate kicked so hard that he would have landed flat on his posterior with a bent bike.

Then, after he got out of the hospital, she would have hauled his male chauvinistic butt into court and sued him.

She would have ended up with his house, his car, and his bent bicycle.

So the guy is lucky he lives in a backward country like Columbia.

Before I get nasty comments or emails let me say I am not trying to make fun of American women.

I wouldn’t dare. I don’t take karate and I don’t want my crutch busted.

Besides my wife is an American Women and she controls my nightly oxygen. I'm not suicidal.

I admire American women.

American women set a standard that other women in the world can only look up to.

Where else can a women be a mommy, hold three jobs, blog, and still have time for karate class.

Certainly not In Columbia.

Where else can women be television commentators that can equal the men in meaningless comments . In fact rising to the highest level of meaningless chatter.

Where else do little old ladies take on big corporations for letting them spill coffee on themselves.

No, I like American women. I know they are special.

But I am sure glad I don’t own a bicycle and that it takes both hands to walk on crutches.

6500 spins without a prize. Hapless loser has found the nets answer to the Big Dollar store. You know the store where every item is a dollar. This website has items that are only a dollar and you get free shipping and no tax. Its run by group lotto. After every losing ticket they take you to the dollar store. The only problem is their selection. There are only eight items. They have had the same eight items for the last three months. They start with a 4X30 Sports Binoculars and end with a Digital Sports Watch. In between are diamond earrings, an amazing genuine leather wallet, a 35 millimeter point and shoot camera, a cell phone antenna booster, a 3 carat cz pendant necklace, and a life savings health secrets book. The same eight items ticket after ticket and day after day. The selection may be poor but you don't have to drive through a blizzard to get to them . And the other good thing is you don't have to buy one to get your next losing ticket.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if poor hapless doesn't go berserk and buy all eight items thus causing his checking account to be overdrawn . We will be back tomorrow with another episode of " As the World Spins"

I read on a blog this morning where some person typed in "Huzaifa Das" into his blog and now has world domination for Google searchs for Huzaifa Das. But not any more.
The table is done. It stands in the living room on all four of its legs. It is beautiful. You can see it by clicking on the word table. And best of all Betty and I are still speaking.
I am making black cherry bread. Betty planted the flowers for the fantasy train. I took pictures of the really great prizes for next week's contest. The dragon's egg is cracking. The little beggar wants out. I hope it holds until after I ship it to the winner.
We spent two hours watching the slowest moving movie I have ever seen. It had a few funny parts but not many. We hung on until the end , however. If you rent the DVD then you have to watch the DVD.
Well I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger thosegoldfishes said...

If you honestly think I was making fun of Canada with that post, then I suggest you read it again and more thoroughly.

Saying that post makes fun of Canada is like saying The Colbert Report is a show for compassionate conservatives.

8:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a beautiful table! Does it expand into an oval shape? Congratulations on your successful construction and that you're still on speaking terms with each other.

10:56 AM  
Blogger thosegoldfishes said...

What are you talking about? That post has nothing to do with whether or not Canada's government is conservative or not.

Read the post again. Do you think there might be another target I am trying to get at besides Canada?

Can you really not understand what I am saying??

If anything that post was applauding Canada.

10:59 AM  
Blogger thosegoldfishes said...

I have no problem with Canada's government. I don't care if they are conservative.

For that matter, I don't care if the US government is conservative or not. I am not sure, but I believe Dwight Eisenhower was a pretty conservative president and I think he was great.

What I have a problem with (these are the people I target with my "sharp barbs" as you call them) are stupid people who screw our nation up and give us a bad image to the world.

If Canada starts doing dumb things, then I will make fun of them for it. Until then, I have plenty of material for the next couple years.

Also, I get a lot of flak for not proofreading my comments. So, I will not tell you that you made yourself look like a 4th grader when you wrote that last comment.

But, you really did make yourself look like a 4th grader when you wrote that last comment. I know they say, "You are what you eat," but our President is not a beer no matter how many he has consumed over his lifetime.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Pennie said...

Hello Dad,

It is nice to see your table done. Peter is currently working on my ceiling fan.


1:22 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

What movie? Glad to see you got the table done. What is this person thosegoldfishes talking about?

7:41 PM  
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