Sunday, March 12, 2006

I can't afford a dog.

Saying for the day:People need to consider each expenditure with great care and only spend what they really need to spend.

Some guy on NBC's "Deal or no Deal" said he spent $15,000 on his dog. I was astonished.

When I was a kid my dog had only me and a stick to play with.

He slept on my bed and never ever saw a veterinarian.

My dad bought some kind of worm medication at the drug store, without a prescription, and gave it to her himself.

Times have changed.

Since people have stopped having kids and started having dogs instead there is an entire industry dedicated to making stuff for dogs.

Let’s take dog toys as an example. Foster and Smith, that’s a catalogue with stuff for dogs and cats, has two full pages of dog toys.

Some of them the headline proudly says under $8.00.

Your dog can have his own cuddly donkey that grunts. As an added bonus it is Machine washable.

You wouldn’t want your little dog playing with dirty toys now would you?

In case you are worried about where to put all those toys they will sell you a dog bone toy chest. No its not made out of dog bones its shaped like one.
You wouldn’t want your dog to have to put his toys in a plain old kid type toy chest would you?
Next Christmas I am buying fewer toys for my son’s kids and buying toys for his dog instead.

Now suppose you wanted to take your pet for a walk. Walks are good for pets you know.

We used to attach Bobo’s chain and let him pull us around the block running as fast as we could to keep up. Bobo never tired but we wore out.

That kind of nonsense is gone for ever.

Now if you want to take your dog for a walk there is a super special , doctor’s choice, happy trails stroller with a ventilated cabin.
It only costs $99.00 because its on sale this month. What proud dog owner wouldn’t be happy to take little Pouchy out for a walk in his stroller?

I couldn’t even lift Bobo yet alone put him in a stroller.

Bobo used to love to ride in the car. He got in , sat up straight in the back, and was as happy as a dog can be. Those days are gone forever.

Now you need a dog ramp so your poor dog can get in the car. It's on sale too, in the telescoping form, for only $99.00 .

Now once our dog has run up his ramp he needs a seat belt just like a kid. Fleece lined, hey you wouldn’t buy the cheap economy kind, that costs $25.99. But then you know how important that a seat belt is.

In case your dog is young and not ready for a seat belt there is a car seat made just for him at only $69.99 and that’s the regular price it’s not on sale.

Have you taken your dog to the dentist lately? Well the good news is you don’t have to. Foster and Smith will provide you everything you need to ensure good oral health for just $19.99. That includes a brush and toothpaste.

Bobo had to clean his teeth on dog bones and biscuits but that was because we didn’t know we could get a complete kit for his oral care.

Is your dog nervous? Does it run around a lot when guests come. Foster and Smith can take care of that to with Doctor’s Choice ultra-calm biscuits.

A kind of a doggy downer.

If that doesn’t work they have a spray that relieves pet stress . Its called comfort zone spray and costs only $29.99. This is wonderful because there is nothing worse than a stressed out dog. ( I don’t think I’ll read this blog to Betty or she will be ordering some to use on me after I finish reading liberal and conservative blogs.)

My dog ate table scrapes and cheap dog food and lived to be fifteen years old.

Now if you want to make sure your dog has a long , productive (what in the world does a dog produce), life you have to get it vitamin supplements and special dog food.

Regular table scraps are bad for its heart you know. But super dog food that has been enriched with every important mineral under the sun will keep that heart beating to a good old age.

Before I started this blog entry I was thinking of getting another dog but now I know I can’t afford it.

6800 spins without a win. Today hapless did some investigating. According to Iwon's winner's list the last winner of the Iwon pick seven contest was Scott Dougherty on 04/20/2004. We are approaching the two year mark without another winner. Does this discourage hapless? No it excites him. He now knows one thing and believes another. He knows somebody has won. He believes its almost time for another win. This time it could be him. Poor hapless he'll never learn
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't pick the right seven numbers and win the $70,000 causing him to quit blogging and move to Green Bay. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of "As the World Spins"

We had a great day today. Betty and I got to spend time with the grandkids . I got to make potato, garlic , and cheese pancakes. Luke ate three of them. Today's bread turned out well. It did not bounce. Even the dog was happy to visit. Finally I got to play canasta. Betty and I were partners and got beaten by my ten year old granddaughter and Lori. George left with them. i think I will miss the old guy. He has stood guard in the basement for so many years.
Well everybody has left and I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger Mimi said...

I am guilty. I have bought things from that catalog! Not since I have had my human child though. Never bought the crazy stuff like raincoats and boots. I do need one of those doggie stairs advertised on tv.

9:28 AM  
Blogger erin said...

I can definitely see what you mean. I live across the street from a dog spa and I could never imagine spending that much on mine, if I had one. Some people have too much money and don't know what to do with it, I guess.

12:29 PM  
Anonymous jan said...

Unlike humans who always want the latest whatever, today's dog is just as happy to live its life the way Bobo did.

5:19 PM  
Anonymous kickstand said...

Oh, the luxury of expendable income. If you've been to LA you know that they've gone completely off the deep end when it comes to dog love.

8:09 AM  
Anonymous Tricia said...

You missed accupunture, doggy massage, pet psychics that tell you what your dog is really thinking, and luxury doggy spas! There's a lot of pampered pooches out there that get treated better than some peoples children.

9:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

keep quoting these dead white guys for a reason. We seem to be repeating some particularly nasty history, right now.

4:48 AM  

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