Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Telephone Game

Saying for the Day: Its not if you win or lose but how you play the game.

I have been playing a lot of the telephone game lately. You know the game you play with the salesman who calls wanting to sell you something.

The idea is that the one who hangs up first loses.

I know there are lots of game players out there so I thought from time to time I’d share a game with you.

This is one from yesterday.

My wife answers the phone and the guy asks to speak to Mr. Linna.

My wife hands me the phone.

Hello. This is Mr. Linna.

Hi, John . This is .

Wait. I don’t know you. I’m not John . I’m Mr. Linna to you.

I’m sorry. I mean Mr. Linna ( He’s a good player)

So what’s your name?

I’m Roger.

Is that Rog. Last name Er.

No, no. My name is Roger. Roger. ( he really said it twice)

You mean your last name isn’t Er.

No! My name is Roger. ( He is playing well)

Well Roger what is your last name?

Hey! I don’t have to tell you that. ( a clear mistake. A good player makes up a name)

Sure you do if you want to sell me something.

What do you need it for.

Well You could be a sex pervert and I need your last name to check the pervert list on the internet.

You could be one too.( Insulting a potential customer. Don’t they teach them anything about sales any more?)

Ah! But you have my last name. Feel free to check.

I’m not a pervert.( A little too forcefully)

Maybe you’re a wanted criminal. I need your last name to check it out.

I’m not a criminal.

How do I know you won’t give me you last name to find out.

I don’t have too.. (Please note we still don’t know what he’s selling)

Are you ashamed of your last name?

No, of course not.

I bet you are. I bet it’s Bush. You’re a relative of the President aren’t you.


I wouldn’t admit to being his relative either. Nobody would buy from you. They’d know you were lying.

I’m not a Bush.

Well who are you them? Why are you hiding your identity?

Look! I’m not telling you my last name.( This guy is stubborn)

Okay then were stuck because I’m not going to listen to you until you do.

Well you will be missing out on ..

No ! You don’t. I’m not hearing your pitch without the last name.

Hang up then.( Never thought I’d hear a salesman say that.)

And let you win. Never.


We’re playing the telephone game. The one that hangs up loses

Well I’m not hanging up.

I have to tell you. I almost never lose. I’m old . I’m bored . I’m not trying to sell anything.

Look I just want to tell you about..

No you don’t. No last name no sales pitch. That’s rule number one.

So hang up.

Hey I don’t like losing. You hang up.

Look just let me tell you and we can get this over with.

Not without that last name. I’ve got lots of time.

Well ! I’m not hanging up.

At this point my wife calls me to breakfast. She doesn’t care if I win or lose. I am expected in the Kitchen. NOW ( She handles my oxygen at night and I don’t cross her)

I hang up. I lose.

Darn I hate losing.

6750 spins without a win. Hapless is happy this morning because that darn contest is over and he gets his space back. For four days he hasn't had any place to whine about his losing. He has continued to lose. He has spun and lost. He has played five different free lottos and lost. He played 15 free games of video poker and lost. He has been very busy losing. Since this seems to be what keeps him happy life is good.
Well friends of Uncle Wiggly if hapless doesn't spin and win the million causing the very fabric of the universe to rip letting in those horrible aliens that eat internet blogs . We will be back tomorrow with " As the World Spins".

I cooked a new bread today and somehow got some super yeast. The bread came out of the oven so full of air that if you hit it, it bounced. When it cooled it collapsed. My son , his wife and my two grandchildren came so I spent the day playing grandfather. It was fun. Nothing like grandkids to make you feel young. Peter fixed Betty's bed, put the lights in the garage, and put the computers back on the house net. Well I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger Laurie said...

Hahahahahaha... too funny!!! I'll have to try that sometime - I hate those phone solicitors :-P

Loved the comment about Bush too, that was good.. haha

Anyway, I still think you won.

8:15 AM  
Blogger Mimi said...

Very funny! I hate telemarketers. I have a kiddy voice (can't help it,I hate it) and they always ask to speak to my mommy or daddy. Ticks me of soooooooooo bad! I always go into a rant about it is rude to assume I am a child by my voice. By the way I am then talking, they don't think I am a kid anymore!

10:50 AM  
Anonymous lydia said...

I seriously would not have the patience to play that game, plus I live in germany and don't speak the language so it's a bit difficult. My brother always does that tho.

12:06 PM  
Anonymous TC said...

Nice one, Dr. John. They deserve all they get.

12:21 PM  
Blogger Kirsten said...

That is so funny :) I have never heard of that game before.

I live with my fiancee and all the phone things are in his name and so our conversations usually go something like this...

"Hello, is that Mrs Bailey?"


"May I please speak to Mrs Bailey"

"There is no Mrs Bailey here. Mrs Bailey lives in Tasmania"

"Then can I speak to Mr Bailey"

"He's not here either"

Usually they get so frustrated and confused they just hang up. I have done this before by just answering 'No' to all their questions too.

I have thought about yelling out to my partner "you didn't tell me you were married!" at the top of my voice just to see what the telemarketer says. I resent the fact that they assume that because we live together we must be married.

5:02 PM  
Anonymous George said...

Nice post, cracked me up. I once had a broker from singapore trying to sell me stock so after a few calls what i did was tried to get the seller to gauentee in the phone call that I wouldn't lose any money in the end the boss come on the phone and ended the call and I didnt get any more calls from singapore.

Dont know how they got my number in Fiji beside not having the money they were asking for

6:26 PM  
Anonymous Tricia said...

Seriously funny, I have to try that on my next telemarketer. :)

7:48 PM  
Blogger Pennie said...


I was informed by the women who takes care of oxygen to check out your blog today. It looks great. I love that scene. I want to climb on the castle wall and throw the telephone guy into the mout with the alligators.


9:51 PM  

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