Almost a body !!!
Saying for the day: You can never tell where you are going to find a body.
I read where somebody in Las Vegas found a body under the bed in his hotel room. It reminded me of the time in my ministry I thought I found a body in the closet of the church.
When the Intern, the Secretary, and I came in that morning we found that someone had gone through the nursing home Christmas gifts. We felt that it was probably one of the Confirmands. We blamed them for everything.
That’s when I decided I needed a book from the corner closet.
Now our church didn’t have a lot of storage so the closet was used for books, quilts, junk, and an old carpet.When I went to get the book I first tried to kick the carpet out of my way ( I was in a hurry).
Suddenly a leg popped out of the carpet.
Now seminary had not prepared me for this. (Not that it prepared me for much of anything in the parish)
So I did what any reasonable pastor would do.
I went and got the intern from the office. I told him I thought there was a body in the closet and would he check it out. What are interns for if not to check on bodies?
He came running back saying that the body was sitting up and it had a knife. The secretary called the police.
The intern and I watched the closet door (The closet was on the other end of the fellowship hall). Suddenly the door opened and out came this wild apparition. He had on several suit coats, an overcoat, a wing tipped shoe, and a swamper.(a boot) He was holding a very large knife.
That’s when the policeman arrived. Then I really got scared. He had trouble getting his gun out of his holster. I thought he was going to shoot himself in the foot. But eventually he got it out and ordered our guest to put down his knife. Which he promptly did.
It seems he had spent the night in the church using the carpet for a bed. He had opened an eaten all the candy in the Christmas packages. He had also lifted a few pair of socks and some powder.
If he had checked in the office we would have put him up at a motel and paid for a good meal at the local restaurant. We would have arranged for St. Vincent De Paul to provide some new boots that matched. So we didn’t press charges. The policeman took him to the edge of town and turned him loose.
We kept the knife.
I always was a little nervous about that closet after that.
7500 spins without a prize. Old hapless has been thinking about luck lately. He wonders why some people always win and some always lose. Shouldn't there be some kind of uinversal law that makes it average out. After thousands of loses shouldn't old hapless get a win. Perhaps he isn't entering enough contests.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't find another bunch of contests to enter and thus have no time to blog. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of " As the World Spins"
Betty went to Church. When she came home I walked (hoped) with the walker from the lift chair to the bathroom. That's twice as far as yesterday. My computer hating sister called. She wanted me to take a bath for the legs. So I went back to the bathroom and wiggled into the walk in tub. It was wonderful. The first bath since I fell. But , of course, when I pushed the button for the water jets the fuse blew. There I sat in a tub full of hot water in the dark. Betty finally heard me calling and reset the fuse. Life was good again. Well I need a breathing treatment.