Friday, April 21, 2006

But I can't stop crying! I really can't!

Saying for the day: If you don't stop crying I'll give you something to cry for.

My grandson Alex had a slight altercation with his mother just before coming to our house for Easter. He was told to go to bed and he didn’t want to so he started to cry. His mother told him to stop but he said “ I can’t”. So she got angry and told him no television for a week.

This set me to thinking about kids and crying.
I did some careful research and developed the following principals worthy of Oprah or Dr. Phil.

1. Children are going to cry even when they gain nothing by it.
2. Children will cry even when it causes them to be made fun of by their peers.
3. Once children have begun to cry they can not shut down the tears on command.
4. Adults know this but threaten dire consequences for continued crying anyway.

These principals are based on the following absolutely true historical and personal stories.

Child caveman crying because he doesn’t want to eat any more charred mastodon. “ I can’t eat any more”, Big tears
Father caveman “ Quit Crying”
Child “ I can’t” Bigger tears.
Father “Stop crying or I’ll throw you to the dinosaurs.”
Mother- “Leave the kid alone. Go kill us something else for supper.” Then to the kid “ Go to the back of the cave and clean some bones”.

Little Ghenghis crying because he doesn’t want to sharpen any more swords
Father. “Stop crying you’re a Mongol. Mongols don’t cry.”
Child “ I can’t”, big tears
Father “If you don’t stop crying I’ll cut off your ears.”
Mother “ Leave the kid alone. Don’t you want him to grow up and get revenge on the Tatars” To little Ghengis “ Go to your tent and make plans to conquer the world”

Little Napoleon crying because he doesn’t want to go on the family trip to Waterloo .
Father “Quit crying. Right now!”
Child “ I can’t.” Great big tears
Father “ Quit crying or I’ll take away all your toy soldiers”
Mother “Leave the kid alone. Take away his soldiers he won’t grow up to conquer Europe.” To the kid “ Go to your room and think of how wonderful Waterloo will be.”

Little DR. John crying because his father won’t let him take his Charlie McCarthy puppet to Grandma’s at Christmas. Very big tears.
Father “ Quit crying”
Dr.John “ I can’t” Bigger tears.
Father “ If you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry for.”
Mother “ Stop tormenting the boy . You’ll give him a complex” To the kid “ Get in the car and leave that stupid puppet home”

Little Peter crying because his parents won’t let him go to something all the other kids are going to. Big tears.
Father Dr. John “ Stop that crying”
Peter “ I can’t stop”
Father “ If you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry for” (And after I promised myself I would never say that to my kids)
Mother “ Stop picking on the kid” To Peter “ Go to your room until you stop crying: ( The voice of reason)

Luke crying because he doesn’t want to eat something he said he wanted. Really big tears.
Grandfather Dr. John “ Stop that crying”
Luke “ I can’t”
Grandfather “ If you don’t stop I’m just going to laugh at you”, (A new approach )
Grandmother “ Stop tormenting the kid” To Luke “ You can sit there until you eat your food crying or not” (the voice of reason)

So you see how well my principals apply.

8800 spins without a prize.Old Hapless is looking forward to a summer vaction from blogging. As soon as Pigeon Falls appears out of the mist this space will become the day to day life of Pigeon Falls. The town where all the men hunt deer and the women let them. Old Hapless will keep spinning and losing but he won't have to write about it again until next fall.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Pigeon Falls doesn't suddenly appear out of the mist causing old Hapless to go on vaction we will be back tomorrow with another chapter of "As the World Spins"

We went shopping in Iron Mountain this morning and early afternoon. As usual we spent too much. We bought lots of flowers ( even though its too early to plant them) , paint, nails, gloves, glue, and soap. Well I need a breathing treatment.


Anonymous TC said...

Plus, on top of all that is the social stigma that men aren't supposed to cry (they obviously haven't seen me watching Watership Down - shuh! don't tell anyone).

Women have that instinct for knowing that an occupied child is a happy one (hence the need for garden sheds for husbands).

I've said too much.

5:26 AM  
Blogger Chana said...

Ahh what would have been so wrong with taking Charlie puppet to your grandma's? Sometimes these rules are just silly. I totally agree with you though, once the flood of tears is let out, it cannot be stopped on command. I know this because that is how it's still with me. Another i'll never say that to my kids,i have also said is "Because i say so"-oh! i hated hearing/saying that...
Your wife (and i'm glad that it was her you ended up with and not napkin girl etc...) sounds like a very level headed lady. A family needs voices of reasons and she sounds like the perfect one but i'm sure you were not that far off yourself.
Hope you are feeling well. Thank you for such a loving comment. I'm glad that He has looked after your health. His Blessings to you trickle down all the way to me, as i get to enjoy your stories...

Read you on monday. Have a wonderful wknd.

6:09 AM  
Blogger Matt said...

Crying is good for the soul, even for adults. Often times it is seen as being weak or over-sensitive but I don't hold back tears.. its perfectly natural. And for children especially, not letting them cry or making them think its wrong to cry could turn them cold and have no way of expressing how they feel.

8:36 AM  
Blogger Mimi said...

LOL! I agree sometimes kids can not help or control their crying. It is a part of life!

9:30 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

LOL - were you at my house this morning??? Luke went off on a tangent before I had my coffee... it wasn't pretty. Screaming "shut up" until the veins popped out of my forehead didn't help, I guess.

Just kidding. Kind of.

9:32 AM  
Blogger Catch said...

Crying is such a cleansing thing ~ I always feel better after I cry.

Children cry for many reasons ~ 1 being they want something....doesnt matter to me why they cry...Im a sucker for a crying kid!

Ive gotten to be such a softie in my older age I hardly recognize me!

11:09 AM  
Anonymous L.C. said...

I think with teens, they can't stop whining once they start. That's how it is at my house, anyway. And I love the, response "I'm not whining," which comes in an even whinier voice than whatever they said in the first place.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Christopher said...

I liked your reconstruction of the history of crying. Made me smile.
I think as we get older we realize the uselessness of crying, so we don't continue after what innitiated the crying has ceased.

1:32 PM  
Blogger Christopher said...

Added you to my blogroll!

2:45 PM  
Blogger Patrick said...

It will not let me post

5:34 PM  
Blogger Patrick said...

Ok so now it will. I not sure if I am rememoring this correctly or not but didnt some not listen to said parent and sneak said puppet in the car anyway?

I know I could not stop crying on command or in 10 seconds now mutch less when I was a kid. Not that I cry offten just when like kicks me.

lol maybe they could do a myth buster on the ability to stop crying in 10 seconds.

5:37 PM  
Blogger Pennie said...

Well as a therapist I say crying is okay. For any reason in any era.

However I have found myself saying stop crying this isn't a reason to cry. Oh no I have turned into my grandfather.


8:53 AM  
Anonymous Tina said...

When I was a little girl, all my father had to do was look crossways at me, and I was in tears. Poor man. He was scared to say anything to me, for fear I would burst out crying. I guess it's because he was such a wonderful dad, that I couldn't stand to think that I might be disappointing him. But I don't know how he stood all those tears ! Tina

11:05 PM  

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