When I hated God
Saying for the Day: Its better to be mad at God than at people because God is much quicker to forgive.
Someone I consider a blog friend (meaning I’ve never met her in person) shared her personal suffering at Easter because of the death of a child. As is often the case for me in reading blogs it brought back memories.
I was nine years old when my brother Robert died. He was only three months old. A happy family was suddenly plunged into grief. One day he was a happy, seemingly healthy baby and the next day he was being operated on and died.
There is no way one can prepare for this.
It devastated my mother. She suffered for years after.
It angered me. I loved Robert. I loved my mother. I didn’t want Robert to die and I didn’t want my mother to suffer. I even prayed he would be okay.
God failed me. I was really mad at God.
I decided that either God was mean or God didn’t exist. Either way I couldn’t be bothered with Him. I would fix Him by not believing.
I went to Sunday school because my mother made me. It was Methodist and they didn’t talk much about God. Mostly they talked about being nice to people. I never asked why we should be nice to people but I thought it.
I went To Lutheran Confirmation because my Grandfather wanted me to. I would have done anything for my grandfather. The Pastor was a horrible teacher and I got confirmed without believing. I got money from my relatives so it was good.
But once I was confirmed I joined my parents in not going to church. I didn’t have to any more. There was no reason to. I still hated God. He left Robert die. He hurt my mother. I couldn’t love a God like that. I couldn’t even like Him.
So I know how she feels. At least she hasn’t given up on God altogether.
How did I get from there to being a pastor? That’s another story.
8700 spins without a prize. Old Hapless thinks there ought to be a law against telling people they have won when they haven't. Every day he gets e-mail saying that he's a winner. But when he checks it out it's just another come on. People want to sell him stuff so they lie to him. You haven't won unless you get something with no strings attached. If there are strings its not a win and shouldn't be called one. Politicians wouldn't understand because they are always getting stuff with strings attached. That's why Washington is such a mess. You'll never get them to vote for this law.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers unless one of those e-mails comes without strings causing Old Hapless to jump for joy thus wrecking both knees. We will be back tomorrow with another chapter of "As the World Spins"
In blogging this morning I came across a story you ought to read. Its at "What is ....? It'll fog your glasses. Two new entries on that blog since this morning you need to scroll down to see the entry refereed to. I spent the day making the third trestle and there is only one to go. Betty varnished the two that are already done. Then she worked on the HO layout. Well I need a breathing treatment.