Friday, March 31, 2006

The family fight again.

Saying for the Day: Families are given to us so that we always have somebody to fight with.
I am fighting with my sister again. I hate it when I fight with her. I hardly slept last night. (This is the Bush hating sister)
Before you jump to take my side ( because most of the time I’m such a nice guy) let me tell you something about my sister.
She is the best sister anyone could ever have and that’s a fact.
All my life she has been there for me.
In school she fought my battles.
When I almost died she came to the hospital every day.
She pushed me to work to walk again.
She called every day after I got home to see how I was.
She went fifteen miles out of her way to bring rocks for my garden railroad.
She is a kind, wonderful, person.
This fight as usual is my fault.
I think there is something in the Linna genes that causes me to fight with family.
My father spent years not talking to his brother over some kind of beard pulling during the city centennial. I thought that was really stupid.
However, I spent a few years not talking to my sister over something so trivial I can't remember what it was. (There I was telling the congregation they should be forgiving and I wasn’t forgiving her. I felt like such a hypocrite. )
Today’s fight started with her daily telephone call to see how I was doing. It began in an ordinary fashion . She asked how I was. She told me how bad things were in the world because of George Bush. ( She is the only person who can cause me to try to defend him).
Then she asked if I knew the names of her seven grandkids. I didn’t. ( She of course knew the names of my five)
I perceived that as an attack on me as a brother (probably a bad perception).
I asked why I should and she said because they are family.
I perceived that as an attack on my dedication to family (probably another bad perception).
In my defense three of my grand children have been to her house. They have fished off her dock. None of her grand children have ever been to my house.
So I told her that I would now spend the rest of the day feeling guilty because I didn’t know her grand children’s names. ( I may not have said this in exactly that way)
She perceived this as an attack on her. ( Not my intent)
So she accused me of always attacking her and terminated the conversation.
Now I will have to call an apologize. ( That’s what you do when its your fault)
If she is convinced I am sincere she will forgive me. Life will return to normal.
Unless she asks the why question.” Why do you do this?’
There is no right answer to that question because she is a rational being and I’m not. She wants a rational answer. I don’t have one. I can’t explain to her that she stepped on one of my emotional triggers because that’s not rational.
Well if I’m lucky she won’t ask.
Life will get back to normal.
There will be more rocks for the garden next summer.

7750 spins without a win. Mrs. Hapless got ten lottery tickets for her birthday, the scratch off kind. She scratched all ten and won $1.00. That's their total winning for the year $1.00. Since the tickets cost $10.00 that's really a loss of nine. Mrs. Hapless used the buck to tip the grocery boy and so now they don't even have that . Oh well! Easy come easy go.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if someone doesn't give old Hapless a ticket worth a million dollars causing him to visit Finland and quit computing. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of " As the World Spins".

Well I finally got up enough courage to call my sister and tell her I was sorry. I'm not sure she believed me but I tried. Then I worked on the church website.Betty went out with her birthday club and had a great meal. Now I need a breathing treatment.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Time for a commercial

Saying for the day: We interrupt this blog for this important message.
Its time for that point where people go and get a beer. I suppose in the blog world its where one pops on to the next blog and hopefully comes back tomorrow.

But my sponsor expects me to speak a word on His behalf.

I have such a joy in Jesus that I have to share it with you.

Please don’t throw anything at me.

I don’t want you to think I’m so arrogant that I believe my religion is better than yours. In point of fact yours is probably better than mine. I’m a Lutheran and this is a strange time to be Lutheran. The church has no idea of what it is in this century . It has all kinds of forces threatening to pull it apart. So I am not trying to get you to be Lutheran.

No I just want to tell you that from the time I ran into the man Jesus who is also God I have had a joy that has lasted no matter what life threw at me. That much God expects me to do.

God does not require that I twist your arm. God does not require that I make you into my kind of Christian.
God just requires I share the joy. I just have to tell you that Jesus brings me joy. I can not imagine walking without him.

You are free to shake your head and say “The poor old man is befuddled”. I may be. But I have a real joy in my befuddlement.

If you have your own joy I rejoice with you. If you have found God by some other name I rejoice with you. If you have decided there is no God I will still like you.
I am not required to judge you. In fact He who directs my life forbids me to do that.

So let me again say that Jesus gives me joy. I want you to have that same joy.

This is the end of my commercial.
I return you to the blog.

7700 spins without a win. Well Old Hapless watched a lady pass up $130,000 because of greed. But she checked it in in time to take home over $20,000 so she wasn't a total loser. The program of course was "Deal or no Deal" home of greed and more greed. Old Hapless is sure that if he went on the program he would end up with $.01 .His final choice would be between $750,000 and $.01 with an offer of $300,000 on the table. His case would have the $.01.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if "Deal or no Deal" doesn't call and invite Hapless to be on the show causing him to have a complete and total nervous breakdown. We will be back tomorrow with "As the World Spins"

My daughter who has been complaining about getting no comments had her comment modification on and didn't know it.( She is new to blogging). Once she discovered what was wrong she also discovered she had lots of comments she had never seen. Today is Betty's birthday and the daughter sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I did a lot more walking with the walker. If I keep making progress I might even be able to get out of the fortress.(But do I want to?)Started work on the April web pages for United. Talked to my Sister and my son Peter who called to wish Betty a happy birthday. Well I need a breathing treaTMENT.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

We won.

Saying for the day: Beware the hidden cost of winning!

My wife , who usually answers the phone was taking a bath ( she takes too many baths) the other morning when the phone rang. This meant that I had to wheel to the phone, which is in the kitchen, ( if we had money we’d get another phone) or just listen to it ring.

This got me slightly irritated.

But this was a good call.

I answer: Hello, what do you want now. ( I thought it was one of the kids)

A voice filled with joy and happiness says. I want to congratulate you on winning..

I cut happy voice off and the conversation went as follows.

Its about time you called. This is Publisher’s Clearing House isn’t it?


Sure. They would have the rung the doorbell and given me a big check. Right?

I guess so.

So you must be either Group Lotto or Prize America. Did I get the million or just some stupid car.

No we are not..

Well then you must be . Did I get the $10,000 daily prize or the $25,000,000. Don’t tell me I got one of those stupid little monthly prizes.


Good then I got the $10,000 right.

No this isn’t

I suppose your one of those contests I didn’t even know I entered because the company that enters me in 100 contests every day did it for me.


Well who in the darn( I didn’t say darn but this is family blog) world are you?

Well sir. We are the “Life is Better in Orlando Agency”. We choose your name at random from a phone number list.

Wonderful when do you send me the check for a million. Or do I just get one of those stupid T-shirts?

No. Actually you have won a trip.

A trip. Wow. Hey Betty! I know your in the bath but we’ve won a trip. A real trip. Can you believe it a trip.

That’s right sir. Five days and four nights in one of Orlando’s finest motels. With a two day cruise thrown in.

Wow! Hey Betty we got a cruise too. This is free isn’t it.

Well, sort of.

What do you mean sort of. If its not really free I don‘t want to hear about it..

You’ll miss all those wonderful days and nights.

I don’t care if Its not free you can forget about my signing on.

Its your loss.

I know but that’s house rule number 15.

House rule number 15.

Yes it reads as follows: Phone answering people in this house are forbidden to accept free trips unless there is no cost involved.

But its just a little registration fee.

I ‘m really sorry but rule 15 is very clear.

At this point the phone begins to hum. I think he must have just gone to check on something.

If he doesn’t call back we’ll never get to Orlando.

But I won today’s telephone game.

7650 spins without a prize. Old Hapless saw his kind of loser on "Wheel of Fortune". Twice she had large sums of money and seemed to know what the words were. She went for that last spin that would give her just a little more and hit bankrupt. So she had nothing. She even had to give back a $1000 prize she picked up. Now that's bad luck. She is certainly welcome at his big losers party.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Old Hapless doesn't get the wires on his new train crossed causing the fuse to blow thus leaving no power for the computer. we will be back tomorrow with "As the World Spins".

Walked twice from the lift chair to the bathroom with the walker. It was more like walking and less like hoping. The left knee still hurts a lot. Betty went to Tops. She came home not very happy because she had a gain. Now she is making something for tonight's service. Stayed off of oxygen all day. I measured the blood oxygen every hour and it was fine. The lungs seem to be coming back after the fall. Betty has gone to church so I'll have to wait for my breathing treatment.

Monday, March 27, 2006

I remember Jeannie

Saying for the day:There is no greater test of love than the pig's head test.

The next artifact should be the pig’s head my grandmother had her hands in when she met Jeannie. But that is long gone so instead there is a cigarette butt.

It was my first year in seminary, napkin girl had dumped me. I was alone and miserable. Then suddenly there was Jeannie. I met her at a seminary party. She and her twin sister Joannie were Pastor’s daughters. The kind of pastor’s daughters Lutheran parishioners hate and are embarrassed by. She was definitely not wife material.

Lutheran parishes want seven things in the pastor’s wife.
1. She needs to be a good cook. She needs to provide something for every parish event and coffee is not good enough.
2. She must not drink.
3. She must not smoke.
4. She must fill the parsonage with cute little kids.
5. She should play the organ and sing like an angel.
6. She must be willing to lead the women’s group.
7. She must always be thankful for what the parish provides and never ever complain.

Jeannie, smoked like a chimney, drank like a fish, hated children, couldn’t cook if her life depended on, swore she would never have anything to do with a church women’s group and whined all the time.

But could she play the organ. I used to go with her to the Chapel at the Methodist seminary. She played and sang like an angel. I figured one out of seven isn’t bad. Any Lutheran parish would be so glad to get such a great organist they would forgive her other little failings. I of course was wrong. Lutherans are big on being forgiven. They are not too big on forgiving.

So why did I go with her? She introduced me to a side of life this sheltered backwoods boy had never seen. Wild parties where everybody was drunk or high. You can not imagine how much fun it is to be the only sober person at a party where people are doing really dumb things, getting sick, throwing up and in general having a great time.
I come from a long line of reformed alcoholics and there was no way I wanted to climb on that part of the family tree so I suffered through the parties sober.

The day came when I took Jeannie home to meet my grandmother. The matriarch of our family. If you didn’t get gram’s blessing you might as well quit right there.

When we entered the matriarchs main hall, it was 2 in the afternoon because Jeannie didn’t get up till noon. Gram, had given up and was making head cheese (gram was a great cook). Now making head cheese seems to require putting your hands into the opened head of a pig at least as gram made it.
Jeannie took one look and started to heave . I don’t think she could handle the sight ( though the hamburger and two beers she had for lunch may have contributed a little). Gram didn’t bother me as this was the women who taught me how to chop the head off of a chicken. I got Jeannie cleaned up and back to the car and went to say goodbye to Gram. A blessing was , of course, out of the question. The only thing Gram said to me was, Whatever happened to that nice girl ( napkin girl). I said “ She went to France”.

One day she told me she didn’t want to go with me any more. I think my being sober was beginning to get to her. Or maybe she didn’t drop me. It might have been her sister. They were after all identical twins. I never knew which one I went out with so how am I expected to know which one dumped me.
Of course I never would have gone with her if it wasn’t for napkin girl. I don’t know what happened to Jeannie. I suppose she is the church organist someplace and the congregation loves her. They forgive her all her failings because after all she’s not the pastor’s wife. She’s just the organist!

I kept the cigarette from the car ashtray so I could remember my wild period and Jeannie or Joannie.

My wife wants me to get rid of it but I never will.

7600 spins without a prize. Old hapless was disappointed in last night's "Deal or No Deal". The contestant held her greed in check and walked off with a sizable peace of cash. One more try and she would have gone home with almost nothing. What ever happened to the kind of greed that overrides reason? Old hapless picked the wrong case of six in the home contest.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless suddenly lets greed cause him to spend money on his gambling causing the angel to leave him and thus making him to depressed to blog. We will be back tomorrow with "AS the World Spins".

Yesterday was a wonderful blog day ( 16 comments) .I thank every single one of you.Betty went to Iron Mountain to the doctor. I took another bath. Betty went to Bible study. I need a breathing treatment.

My poor jilted Blog !!

Saying for the Day:Better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.

My poor little blog has been jilted. That’s right jilted.

A long time ago it entered into a great comment relationship with Jon De Arc. (Not real name)

We exchanged comments every day.

They were great comments.

Some of the best comments this blog ever received.

And of course I left great comments. Really great comments.

It was real blog love.

But then it ended. Jon commented no more.

I kept commenting for a while but then I quit as well.

I made excuses.

Jon’s computer had a virus that prevented Jon from commenting.

Jon had an elephant step on his/her fingers.

Jon had some kind of brain infection that prevented comments.

I knew our blog love was so strong that it would never end.

But after a while I forgot.

Then while I was doing random blogging I came across a really interesting blog entry. I had to read the comments.

There in the comments was the old familiar symbol. It was a comment from Jon De Arc. I'd know that sword anywhere.

Jon was now giving comments, great comments, to a different blog.

There was no virus, elephant, or brain damage.

I had been dumped. Jon had found a new blog to give comments to.

My blogs heart was broken. It may never trust another comment giver. It may never love again.

But you can keep commenting. Please keep commenting.

7550 spins without a win. Yesterday old hapless got an email that said he was a guaranteed winner. He clicked the right place and got a form to fill out to get his winnings. Right in the middle of the form was a request for his social security number. He figured they didn't need that to give him his money. In this age of identity theft he doesn't give out that number. So he passed up the winnings.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't change his mind and give that number thus causing his identity to multiply across the country and tie up all his time trying to get his identity back. We will be back tomorrow with "As the World Spins"

A pretty good day. Walked with the walker as far as yesterday but with less pain. I spent some time leaving comments as I do every Monday. Sometimes that's hard because I don't understand the blog I'm reading. There are lotsof technical blogs out there and they don't talk the language I talk. I managed to take another bath. While in the hot tub there is no pain in the legs which makes the trouble getting in and out worth while.Now I need a breathing treatment.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Almost a body !!!

Saying for the day: You can never tell where you are going to find a body.
I read where somebody in Las Vegas found a body under the bed in his hotel room. It reminded me of the time in my ministry I thought I found a body in the closet of the church.
When the Intern, the Secretary, and I came in that morning we found that someone had gone through the nursing home Christmas gifts. We felt that it was probably one of the Confirmands. We blamed them for everything.
That’s when I decided I needed a book from the corner closet.
Now our church didn’t have a lot of storage so the closet was used for books, quilts, junk, and an old carpet.When I went to get the book I first tried to kick the carpet out of my way ( I was in a hurry).
Suddenly a leg popped out of the carpet.
Now seminary had not prepared me for this. (Not that it prepared me for much of anything in the parish)
So I did what any reasonable pastor would do.
I went and got the intern from the office. I told him I thought there was a body in the closet and would he check it out. What are interns for if not to check on bodies?
He came running back saying that the body was sitting up and it had a knife. The secretary called the police.
The intern and I watched the closet door (The closet was on the other end of the fellowship hall). Suddenly the door opened and out came this wild apparition. He had on several suit coats, an overcoat, a wing tipped shoe, and a swamper.(a boot) He was holding a very large knife.
That’s when the policeman arrived. Then I really got scared. He had trouble getting his gun out of his holster. I thought he was going to shoot himself in the foot. But eventually he got it out and ordered our guest to put down his knife. Which he promptly did.
It seems he had spent the night in the church using the carpet for a bed. He had opened an eaten all the candy in the Christmas packages. He had also lifted a few pair of socks and some powder.
If he had checked in the office we would have put him up at a motel and paid for a good meal at the local restaurant. We would have arranged for St. Vincent De Paul to provide some new boots that matched. So we didn’t press charges. The policeman took him to the edge of town and turned him loose.
We kept the knife.
I always was a little nervous about that closet after that.

7500 spins without a prize. Old hapless has been thinking about luck lately. He wonders why some people always win and some always lose. Shouldn't there be some kind of uinversal law that makes it average out. After thousands of loses shouldn't old hapless get a win. Perhaps he isn't entering enough contests.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't find another bunch of contests to enter and thus have no time to blog. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of " As the World Spins"

Betty went to Church. When she came home I walked (hoped) with the walker from the lift chair to the bathroom. That's twice as far as yesterday. My computer hating sister called. She wanted me to take a bath for the legs. So I went back to the bathroom and wiggled into the walk in tub. It was wonderful. The first bath since I fell. But , of course, when I pushed the button for the water jets the fuse blew. There I sat in a tub full of hot water in the dark. Betty finally heard me calling and reset the fuse. Life was good again. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Saturday, March 25, 2006


Saying for the day:The Upper Peninsula doesn't have a lot of jobs but we have a lot of cow manure.

Mr. President I’m back with another great idea to solve the energy crisis and give a boast to the economy of Upper Michigan and Wisconsin.

I don’t know if your acting on my little windmill idea or not. But I have an even better idea and it won’t cost as much.

Cow poop. That’s right cow poop.

Some scientists in Japan have discovered a way to turn cow poop into gasoline.
(Why didn’t our scientists come up with that?)

They use some pressure and a special catalyst.

Now the Upper Peninsula has plenty of cow pop. Our neighbor Wisconsin does to. You could even say we have a surplus. We are up to our neck in poop.

We have a company in Gladstone that already makes a diesel substitute out of old frying oil and vegetable scraps. Get them the Japanese formula and a good grant and they can produce gallons and gallons of cowgoline.

Soon Cowgoline trucks will be picking up poop and hauling out Cowgoline. Not a single Arab country involved.

All you need to do is to get the Cow Poop bill of 2006 passed. You need a big item to take people’s mind off of Iraq anyway.

The bill has to provide enough money to get the formula and give a large grant to the Gladstone company.

We'll even put your picture right next to our slogan on the truck. "BS power of the future"

It wouldn’t hurt to get a little money for university research into chicken poop possibilities.

The UP has a lot of chicken poop too.

7 450 spins without a prize. "Deal or No Deal", last night, produced two more losers for old hapless's losers party. One had a chance to go home with over $90,000 and because of pure greed ended up with $8.00. Now that's a loser. The other had a chance to take home over $50,000 and ended up with $50. Another real loser. Greed is such a terrible thing. One keeps thinking I can get more and ends up with less.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't wangle himself an appearance on "Deal or no Deal" and turn down $100,000 to end up with a nickel thus causing him to join a monastery. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of "As the World Spins".

I walked twice as far today. The pain has not gone away. I may simply have to walk through it. We are thinking of getting a wheel chair. I upgraded the church web page by putting new pictures in the picture section.

Friday, March 24, 2006

What is my name?

Saying for the day: It is essential in life that one remembers his or her name.

I am in real trouble.

I have forgotten my name.

I can see the doors of the nursing home opening . They are wheeling me in a wheel chair. The chicken there is worse than that at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

How could I forgot my name you ask? ( Well you did didn’t you)

Its because I have so many of them.

The name I forgot is not the name my mother gave me. I still remember that. ( She screamed it at me enough times)

No it is one of my many names I need to get into web sites.

You know. The name that goes with the password I can’t remember.

This particular name of mine is for “” . You know the people that make fried chicken ten times better than KC. Then they freeze it . Pack it in dry ice and send it to you. It only costs ten times what you pay at KC. Ah, but the taste makes it worth while.

So I go to the website and of course it says enter your name and password.

Now I’ve narrowed the password down to one of three:

Chickenfeathers, chickenmanure, or chickenfeed.

I always pick passwords that have to do with the blog so I won’t forget them.

But my name . I can’t remember my name.

I’m fairly sure its not my real name.

So I try. Drjohnfortress. I use that sometimes.

I try it with each of the three passwords.

I don’t get in.

Okay, I was more creative that day.

Possibly a combination of my two oldest grandsons. Alexelijah.

I try that with all three passwords.

I don’t get in.

Okay I hit the little check here to retrieve password.

It says please enter your login name and password will be sent to you.

I don’t know my password name.

I want some chicken.

I decide to register as a new customer.

I type in my email address.

I get a notice . This email already has an account try a different email.

I don’t have a different email.

I still have not ordered any chicken.

I go back to trying every name I can think of and my three passwords.

Perhaps nursing home chicken won’t be so bad after all.

But it won’t taste like Fantastic Fried Chicken . It just won’t.

7400 spins without a prize. Old Hapless has a new person to invite to his losers party. She was on "Wheel of Fortune". She had $6300 on the board. It was obvious she knew the phrase.Then she hit that space where it was either bankrupt or $10,000. She had to choose. She could take another $1000 and have a sure $7300 or take a chance for a possible $16,300. She took a chance. She lost and ended up with nothing. Our kind of loser.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if Old Hapless doesn't wrangle an invite to Wheel of Fortune and hit three bankrupts causing him to quit gambling forever. We will be back tomorrow with "As the World Spins".

I walked from the lift chair to the hall with the walker.Betty pushed the wheel chair behind until I sat down. Another dull day. I did some blogging . Betty went out to the Post Office. The lungs seem a liuttle stronger. Well i need a breathing treatment.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

John the singing cowboy..

Saying for the Day:Life sometimes turns out better than our dreams.

Two recent events sent me back to the artifact box even though it’s not Tuesday.

The first was Lydia’s tagging me and asking for my songs.
The second was having to watch American Idol.

After much digging I found the 3 x7 card. It has a picture of Gene Autry and the title “the Singing Cowboy”

It's in the box to remind me of what I wanted to be when I was a kid.

I didn’t want to be a pastor. I hardly believed in God.

Now please don’t laugh.

I wanted to be a singing cowboy.

A strange thing for the only Pastor who was asked not to sing in the choir to want to be.

But I did.
I knew every Autry song by heart. I sang them all around the house.
I saw every Roy Rogers movie.
I listened to Tom Mix on the radio. ( He didn’t sing but he was a cowboy.)

I wanted to take guitar lessons. My mother made me take accordion lessons.

Who ever heard of an accordion playing cowboy.

Aside from that I was horrible on the accordion. I couldn’t get my two hands to work together. At the end of the lessons I could only play three songs well. ( And well may be a bit of an exaggeration.)

I couldn’t ride well either. My pony dumped me in the creek. Not a real recommendation for a cowboy.

But I thought I could sing. If there had been an American Idol then I would have tried out.
I would have been laughed off the stage but I would have tried.

So I keep the card. It reminds me of how different things turn out from our dreams and expectations. Mine turned out better.

Otherwise I would be riding the range and that dang accordion would keep snagging on the saddle horn. But I’d be singing. (As long as I stayed away from creeks)

7350 spins without a prize. Old hapless tried the "Deal or no Deal" briefcase game again . This time he didn't even get the case right. Things are back to normal. That means yesterday his 100 entries into the I daily game won nothing. His 20 entries at Prize America won nothing.
His pick seven at Iwon won nothing. In other words he won nothing.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't find a bunch of new contests which will take up so much time he can't blog. We will be back with another adventure of "As the World Spins".

Well I walked a few steps this morning from the lift chair to the middle of the room and back with the walker. I'm learning to walk through the pain. Betty has moved mountains or at least furniture and gotten me into the computer room. What a women. I am now able to add a new link "Upper Peninsula, Michigan and Beyond". This a blog from right here in Crystal Falls and if you scroll down through it you can see pictures of the town and the area (Very good pictures).
I upgraded the Church web page. It now has a new top ten list and all of the bulletins for March.
It was good to be back in the computer room. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Hell is like .......

Saying for the day: Hell is spending eternity in a 4x8 room with your worst enemy.

If you ever wondered what it would be like to spend eternity in hell I can tell you.

I have just spent four days there.

Hell is being stuck in a lift chair and forced to watch American television hour after hour.

You can add to the mix a remote control. This causes the poor person to believe that he will find a program of value somewhere in the vast wasteland.

Channel after channel I went (of course our cable system only has only 31 channels.)

I watched reruns of Law and Order, Quincy, and Perry Mason.

I watched four different soaps. Two on CBS and two on ABC. Boy do those people suffer.

I was subjected to two hours of American Idol. (My wife loves this show and I usually hide in the computer room)

I even watched the President’s news conference.

Real hell would be stuck in a room with a television you can’t turn off and no matter what channel you go to there is President Bush explaining the war in Iraq.

Hell couldn’t be worse than that.

7300 spins without a prize. Old hapless is wondering if it is better to lose all the time and thus not expect to win or to win and win and win and then suddenly lose. The local basketball team went through the entire season without a loss and through the first two levels of tournament play. Then they met another team that hadn’t lost either. Their win streak ended. How bad they must feel. One day they thought they could be state champions and now its over. Old hapless never feels like that because he never wins and thus no expectation.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn’t win at something and thus become so afraid of losing that he never spins again. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of “As the World Spins”.

Well I'm back in the lift chair. I tried walking but only got in two steps before I couldn't handle the pain. Betty went to Tops. Now she has gone to the Doctor in Iron Mountain. So I am not only stuck in the chair but I am all alone. She did bring the phone here in case I have to call out.When Betty came back I tried wheeling myself to the bathroom . I made it. I still needed Betty to keep the oxygen cord from tangling. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

My First Real Romance

Saying for the Day: Forever isn't very long.

Today’s artifact is a crumpled , coffee stained napkin. That green stuff is mold. I haven’t taken good care of my artifacts.

This artifact is there to remind me of the first girl I ever fell in love with.
She was an angel. A beauty beyond belief.

We met at Inter Varsity ( That was one of those fundamentalist, somewhat arrogant Christian college groups) Our eyes met , our hearts beat as one. The heavens opened, the birds sang, the bells joyfully rang out and the earth swallowed us up.

We didn’t hear a word of the deep theological truths being presented. Our friends, I had a few in those days, saw what was happening and drifted off leaving us together and alone.

That’s where the napkin comes in. I invited her out for a cup of coffee at the University center and she put her coffee cup on this napkin. It should be in the National Archives. I will never part with it.

After that we were always together. We walked around campus hand in hand. We kissed in the lobby of the girls dorm ( forbidden in those days) causing the two chairs to move apart and dumping us on the floor. We did everything that unmarried Christian kids could do together.

I took her home to meet my mother and my grandmother.

I graduated at mid term and to be near her started work on a Master’s Degree. (Ma thought I should go to work. She had no grasp of the power of real love)

No, I will never part with this napkin, never.

I wish I could say the same about her. When I went off to seminary ( that’s a place where naïve, believing, young people go to be turned into cynical, almost unbelieving pastors but that’s a different story) she went off to France and sent me a dear John letter which included my 8x10 picture which she said she would cherish forever.

Forever didn’t last long.

She said she didn’t think that she had what it would take to be a Lutheran pastor’s wife. She had heard all those parsonage horror stories spread by pastor’s wives that had nothing else to do but pick on the parish their husband pastored.

She believed them. She really thought the parish was right next to hell on earth.( Unless hell is truly dull it isn’t)

So there I was . All I had left of my one true love was a napkin with a coffee stain.

I was so upset that when I took my entrance psychological test ( all Lutheran seminarians have to take a psychological test because there are so many nut cases trying to get into the ministry) the psychologist called me in to discover what traumatic event had happened to me recently.( It did keep them from discovering how crazy I was)

Well that’s it for the napkin. It will always remind me of that wonderful time in my life when I was really and truly in love.

My wife wants me to get rid of it. But I never will.

7250 spins without a prize. Yesterday old hapless found a new way to lose. He was watching the NBC program "Deal or no Deal" and they invited him to pick one of six cases with $10,000 in it. He picked number 2 and it was the right case. Of course thousands of other people picked the same case and when they drew the winner it wasn't hapless. Now he has to wait until Wednesday to play the game again.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't goof up and pick the right numbers in the lotto causing him to push the wrong button on the lift chair knocking over his laptop. We will be back tomorrow with "As the World Spins".

Another horrible day in the lift chair. The legs are a little better. The good news for the day is that my track came. I was able to do the wiring from the lift chair and Betty got it together on the table. We ran the garden train. It looked great.Well I need a breathin g treatment.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Butterfly Effect on Monday

Saying for the Day: What we do today has a profound impact on what happens tomorrow.

Today is leave a comment Monday.

I can tell you that it would be very good for you to do so.

Why would it benefit you to leave a comment?

Because of the butterfly effect. I blogged on that yesterday. If you don’t understand it scroll down and read my brilliant explanation.

My son (the one that took chaos theory in college) and I have pulled together all the base data.

We have applied the three basic Lorenz equations.

We have determined that any comment left on this website today will affect the commentator in a positive manner. Possible effects:

You might become healthier.

You might win a lottery.

You might have your conservatory repaired.

It might even cause you to become rich .

The exact effect is beyond our ability to predict.

But we are sure that it will affect you in a positive manner.

The downside of this is that those same equations would seem to indicate that if you fail to leave a comment that some negative effect will take place.

I would not begin to guess what those might be.

My son , who is braver than I am, thinks that a full body rash is a real possibility. Also possible , new and unwanted hair, hair loss, warts, flat tires, moldy bread, windows failure, new and never seen error messages on your computer.

I want to point out that I I don’t think the equations support anything that clear but then he took the course and I didn’t.

I leave it up to you my dear reader. The theory could be all wrong. We may not have enough raw data.

On the other hand . Why take a chance.

Leave a comment.

7200 spins without a prize. Old Haplless says you can change his name to Mr. Millionth. No he did not win a million. That would have been nice. But he was the millionth customer at ten different web sites. Wow, how cool is that. Can you imagine the odds against that happening. Now those fine web sites wouldn't lie so he must have been the millionth person to log in at each of them. Someday he'll take the time to find out what he gets for being Mr. Millionth.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't try hoping on one foot which would cause him to fall on his head and be too confused to compute. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of "As the World Spins".

Well I set out to leave my thirty comments for the day. If you want comments you have to leave comments. Then my internet connection died. My son told me how to restore it but there is no way my wife can get the wheel chair into the computer room.So I had to explain the procedure to her. Miracles do happen and she restored the connection.
It was another dull day of sitting in the lift chair in the living room. The only trip out was to the bathroom in the wheel chair from hell. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

The Butterfly Effect

Saying for the Day: “Sensitivity to initial conditions is popularly known as the "butterfly effect",

— While I was doing serious mathematical research into chaos theory I came across this quote.

“Sensitivity to initial conditions is popularly known as the "butterfly effect", suggesting that the flapping of a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere, which could over time cause a tornado to occur. The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different.”

I am now terrified of butterflies. All because of chaos theory.

When I see a butterfly I worry.

If I scare it. It will flap its wings in a different manner. The end result of this flapping could be a tornado that will destroy some poor fellows house. Perhaps mine..

Not only that but if the tornado destroys enough houses and FEMA doesn’t respond fat enough. I will get the President in trouble.

The poor man has enough trouble already.

So now I am afraid of butterflies . Deathly afraid.

“Well! Stay in the house.” you say.

No! That won’t work. You see its possible that this butterfly might be in the process of causing a tornado and the only thing that can stop it is my causing it to change flight.
I am in a terrible predicament.

I can cause a tornado by acting and by not acting.

One might suggest that I kill the butterfly. Then there will be not flapping of the wings. This would prevent the tornado.

No. This butterflies wing flapping may have offset the wing flapping of the butterfly down the block and thus prevented a tornado. No butterfly , no offset thus a tornado.

Plus it is possible that this butterfly might give birth to a strain of mutant butterflies that contain a substance that cures cancer. By killing it I change the very history of the planet and thousands of people die because of me.

The only good thing is that this is winter and there are no butterflies. By summer I may understand enough chaos theory to distinguish probable good butterflies from bad ones.

You dear reader, however, may live where there are lots of butterflies.

That’s your problem. Isn’t it?

7150 spins without a prize.Yes,old hapless spins when he is in pain. He even spins when he can't get out of bed. Why he spins would be a good paper for somebody working on a doctor's degree in Psychology.Until then he will just keep spinning and spinning.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if the house doesn't fail causing poor hapless to quit spinning. We will be back tomorrow with "As the World Spins"

Lydia tagged me the other day but I was too shook up after the fall but here are my seven songs I'm enjoying right now:
Home ,Home on the Range- Gene Autry
Borning Cry-John Ylivisaker
Healing Rain- Michael W. Smith
I Love to Tell the Story-Old Hymn
Mocking Bird Hill- Only song I can still play on my accordian.
God isWalking me Through- Sandi Patti
El Shaddai-Amy Grant
The Seven People I have tagged:
Lori's Minute
Linna's Minute
Pennie's Weblog
Little Orleans
Heart of Fire
Well I spent the day watching television. Since I can't walk I'm stuck where I get wheeled to. Now I need a breathing treatment.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Get Your own Dino

SAying for the Day: Having any kind of a pet tends to take your mind off of your troubles and makes for a longer life.

Because of the family interest in archeology and biology my sons and I have acquired a small piece of a dinosaur sealed in a solid rock.
With much work we have extracted the dinosaur DNA and with the help of a surrogate alligator we have cloned eleven dinosaurs.

They are not yet fully grown but are maturing fast.

We have decided to put them up for sale on the internet.

We were going to put them on Ebay but decided against it.
We couldn't decide on a category.
They are clearly not toys.
They are not by any stretch of the imagination pets.
We don’t know what they are.

So we have decided to offer them for sale to the readers of this blog.

That’s right dear reader we are offering them to you.

You can be the first one in your neighborhood to own a dinosaur.

Just think of how you neighbors will look up to you and to your dinosaur.

Any trouble your having with dogs, cats, deer, rabbits etc. is over. Your dino will take care of them all.

I do have to tell you they are not yet housebroken so you really need a big barn to house them in.

A very big barn.

I assure you they do not violate the president’s ban on cloning. They contain no human DNA . Unless of course you count the DNA of my neighbor George that they accidentally ate.
But I don’t think that influences their DNA any more than that pig you ate influences yours.

Now the best news of all we really need the cash so we are letting them go for just $12.55 a piece or $24.00 for a pair (subject to availability)

You read right. Just $12.55 and you have a dynamite dino of your own.

Get a pair, grow your own. Go into the dino business.

There will be , of course be a small shipping and crating charge of $650,123.87 for each dino ordered .
They are really hard to crate and all craters need that darn expensive life insurance.
You also need to have a train depot near you because they can only be shipped by rail.

You must hurry because they are growing fast and will soon be to big to ship and you will lose your chance to have your own Jurasic Park.

Read what my previous customers have written.

Mrs. Allen Hobato from Clinkersville , Idaho writes.
Pop would have written you himself but he is still in the hospital getting his hand stitched back on after his accident. We are so lucky to be in the new fast growing dinosaur business. Our first eggs haven’t even hatched yet and we have twenty orders. We will be millionaires and Pop will probably be able to use most of his fingers. Thank you ever so much.

Ronald Allisum of Everglades, Florida writes:
Thanks for getting us started in this wonderful new business. The dinosaurs get along well with our alligators and aside from the loss of a few nosey neighbors we haven’t had any trouble. The dinosaurs seemed to really enjoy the neighbors. I am looking forward to the millions I’ll make when I sell my first lot. Thanks again.

Remember there are only seven of them left and when they are gone . They are gone. We may not be cloning any more.

Plus I am thinking of keeping one to control the deer but only if I can train him not to step on my garden railroad.

7100 spins without a prize. Hapless found another web site based on chaos theory with a little bit more. "The research uses complex approaches like trend analysis, linear- and route-regression, Fourier analysis, chaos theory - and other systems that make your head spin." All of this to get you good lotto numbers for only $35.00 a year. Not a month like the other place. But this place has no guantees. You gets your numbers and you takes your chances. Hapless still believes he can win for free.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't change his mind and buys those winning numbers thus causing him to win and move to a warm island paradise. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure in "As TheWorld Spins"

I am a bit late this morning since the pain pills I'm taking caused me to sleep late, If the doctor is right I'll have a week of this pain caused by yesterday's fall. If you think my average day is dull this one is far worse. All I've done is sleep and scream (for my wife to bring me something like this laptop.) Now I need a breathing treatment.

Friday, March 17, 2006

An ethical dilemma in renting.

Saying for the Day: I have a new renter and you have to click on her.

“I want to welcome “Crying Harry” from “Cry until A Puddle Forms” as my new renter.

I want you to blog over and have a good cry with him and his wife.
They just lost their house and their dog and a couple of cats.

I feel sure this is something you want to read about.”

All over blogdom these messages are appearing as people rent out advertising on their blog.

It is of course not good enough to just put up the advertisement.

You have to welcome them.

You have to give people a reason to click on them.

Because for the most part any sharp blogger has learned to ignore those side advertisements.

You have to make people want to click on them.

This, of course is okay on a day when you have nothing to say anyway.
It takes up space.
That is good.
It means that you don’t have to think very much.
You just reword what your renter says about his blog in the renters introduction.

However on a day when you just want to share the new recipe you have for hamburger and Strawberry jam it’s a pain.

If you put your recipe ahead of the welcome, people will be so excited over the recipe they will never get to the welcome.

And of course you can only read so much in 30 seconds.

This is what is know as an ethical dilemma.

Really sharp bloggers solve the problem by working the welcome into the recipe or whatever. You know like this

Our new renter , you should click on him , really likes our recipe for Hamburger and Jam . Remember when you finish reading the recipe to click on the renter.

I , however, have decided that I will never have a renter.

I am too much afraid of a lawsuit from the ACLU when I refuse to let “ Atheists Against Everybody” rent my space.

It would probably go all the way to the Supreme Court and I’m not sure Judge Alito would support me.

7050 spins without a prize.Having passed the 7000 mark old hapless is now setting his sights on 8000 spins on's prize machine without a win. It almost seems impossible but old hapless thinks he can do it. He has this losing thing down to a science. You don't reach 7000 without some working technique. Since IWON is owned by CBS it must really be giving away all those prizes and hapless has avoided getting any. He is good at what he does.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't change his technique and accidently win something thus causing his grand sons to cheer so loud the computer screen implodes. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of "As the World Spins".

We are going to leave the Fortress and travel to the big city of Iron Mountain . We are going to eat out and take in a movie. We might even go to Wal Mart. Can life be any better than this?Oh, and Pat took a bath in the tub with a door and didn't flood the house this time.
I am never leaving the Fortress again! Never ! I fell in Iron Mountain. I spent four hours in the emergency room. I won't be able to walk without extreem pain for a week. I am never leaving the Fortress again. I need a breathing treatment.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

100 things about me!!!!

Saying for the Day: If my life flashed before me it would be interrupted by commercial breaks.

—I saw several blogs where people listed 100 things about themselves so I thought I would try it.
Here Are 100 sort of true (given my memory) things about me.
1. I was a really great child.
2. I was not so great a teen.
3. I was a pain in the butt college student.
4. My one sister and I have had a love/hate relationship since she was born.
5. My other sister is ok. (Different but ok)
6. I have never been drunk.
7. I have never smoked a cigarette.
8. I have never done any drugs. ( in other words dull, dull, dull)
9. I can’t dance.
10. I have been too heavy most of my life.
11. I worked as a Santa Claus for Montgomery Ward.
12. I worked as a sailor on an ore boat.
13. I was a counselor at a health camp.
14. I taught mathematics at a technical college.
15. I taught mathematics at a private school.
16. I taught high school debate. (took a team to the state championships)
17. I was elected to the school board with the largest vote in the town's history.
18. For thirty five years I was Pastor in the same church.
19. I like some Bishops but hate the office.
20. I make great bread and potato pancakes.
21. I am a terrible speller. Not much good at English either.
22. People said I was a good preacher.
23. I had the worlds greatest grandmother. (Mom’s mother)
24. I had the world’s greatest grandfather. ( Dad’s father)
25. I had a fantastic mom and dad. ( I miss them)
26. I took two years of high school French.
27. I took two years of college French.
28. I can’t speak or read French.
29. I have an advanced degree in mathematics
30. I have taken graduate courses in Psychology.
31. I have an earned Doctor’s degree. ( whoopee)
32. I am married to an angel sent to me by God.
33. I have three wonderful, fantastic children.
34. I have five wonderful grandchildren.
35. I have a grand daughter that won’t let me win at Canasta.
36. I have been almost dead three times.
37. I have seen more than my share of personal miracles.
38. One of my best friends is a Catholic Priest. He anointed me the first time I was dying.
39. I have to have oxygen every night.
40. I sleep with a machine that helps me breath.
41. I walk with a walker. Really helps with Hetico’s laws
42. I played with one o27 train when I was a kid.
43. I played with an Ho and an 027 train when my kids were growing up.
44. I play with Ho, 027, N, and G scale trains now.
45. My wife and I built a fantasy train.
46. I once visited England.
47. I once went to Disney World.
48. I liked England better.
49. I once grew a beard. The angel didn’t like it.
50. I had the world’s greatest dog when I was a kid.
51. I have never loved anyone as much as I love Betty.
52. Seminary was a shock and I almost quit.
53. I quit every other day the first year of my ministry.
54. My wife kept me from quitting.
55. I once was pastor in three churches and vice pastor in five more.
56. I learned how to do a lot of things by doing them wrong the first time.
57. Sometimes I did them wrong the second time too.
58. I have tried very hard to serve people.
59. I was into computers when my kids were young.
60. I paid part of their way through college with money made by selling computer programs.
61. I don’t sell programs any more.
62. My son Patrick started me blogging.
63. I started my son Peter, his wife, my granddaughter and one sister.
64. I have a huge G scale layout in my back yard.
65. I have a bathtub with a door.
66. I once had a full photo lab in the basement.
67. I was chairman of the Upper Michigan Council on Aging
68. I have an English muffin almost every day for breakfast.
69. One of my grandfathers came from Finland.
70. One of my grandfathers came from England.
71. I don’t speak or understand Finnish (neither does Babel Fish)
72. I love Jesus.( Just a word about my sponsor)
73. I drink a can of orange pop every morning when I get up.
74. I was investigated by the Michigan State Police during the Viet Nam War.
75. I was investigated by the Ontonogan health department.
76. I buy far too many toys for my grand kids.
77. I really like banana splits.
78. I have far too many credit cards.
79. I was called a Vulture on the front page of the Reporter by the head of the Community Action Agency.
80. I have been to almost every amusement park in the country.
81. Now I go only to Greater America (they have a motorized thing for me to get around on)
82. I have been to two large scale train shows.
83. I like hot tubs.
84. I can be very stubborn.
85. I trained seven interns.
86. I hate instant Ralston. (I used to feed it to the chickens when mom wasn’t watching)
87. I needed instant Ralston to get my Tom Mix decoder ring.
88. The hair I have left has not turned gray.
89. I had two associate pastors. (both women)
90. I once had a parishioner make a pass at me.
91. I had two of the greatest secretaries a pastor could have.
92. I was not a very good confirmation teacher.
93. My high school had two all school reunions and I lead the worship service for both of them. ( Don’t tell the ACLU)
94. I was Citizen of the Year in Crystal Falls
95. I had a service of clowns every summer for ten years.
96. I was a pretty good clown.
97. My secretary and I put together a polka service my church still uses.
98. I gave up preaching in the box ( pulpit ).I liked to move around.
99. My choir director asked me not to sing in the choir.
100. I wouldn’t change a thing about my life .(except , maybe, almost dying three times)

7000 spins without a prize. Despite the fact that this is a celebration day (7000 spins) hapless has decided to ignore the day. Instead he wants to put out some facts about his losing. It all started when he was a kid going to the carnival. He always bet on which mouse would go in which color hole. He always lost. He even tried to dream up systems . They didn't work. His parents tried to control him but couldn't. Next he went to bingo with grandma. She never won either. Well that's not fully true. She once won a riding lawn mower. She had a lawn the size of a postage stamp. And since we are into truth telling hapless has won a stuffed Santa, a stuffed duck, and a bun warmer. These were mixed in with hundreds of lottery tickets that won nothing, Publisher's Clearing House entries that got nothing, and more losing contests than we have room to list.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't goof up and win something causing his children to remind him of what a wonderful parent he is . Thus causing his head to swell and preventing his getting through the small doorway into the computer room. We will be back tomorrow with "As the World Spins"

Its been a wonderful day today. My son and grand sons built the Ferris Wheel for the Amusment park that will be on the G scale layout this summer. I built another fantasy train. This one has frogs and flower pots. Now if the plants will grow. Last summer's layout can be seen by clicking here. I can hardly wait for the snow to melt so we can start laying out the new Pigeon Falls. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Part two of the almost romance.

Saying for the Day: Always start what you finish.

This is part two of a two part blog. If you didn’t read part one scroll down and do so now or just guess what it was like.

Things went well at the dance until the disaster.

We were in the middle of the dance floor when the band suddenly shifted from a waltz to a fast number.

Now I was doing a pretty good job of faking a waltz . I really was.
But there was no way I could dance to what they started to play.

It was so humiliating.
I walked her out from the middle of the floor.

I swear everyone stared at us.

She was not happy.
Not happy girls don’t make for fulfilled day dreams.

So we left the dance a little early.

We were going out to eat. I thought if I play it right she’ll forget the horror of the dance.
I was prepared to spend for the most fantastic meal ever.

But on the way to the restaurant disaster struck again.

We started down a street that would take us to the main street .
We started to slide.

I pumped the brakes.

We slid faster.

I jammed on the brakes.

We slid faster.

We slid through the main street.
We kept sliding .
The portage loomed in front of us.

We kept sliding.

My life flashed in front of me.
We were going to drown.
Nothing could save us.
I knew the meaning of terror.
My bladder left go. ( Fear does that to me)

Suddenly without warning the car stopped.
It just stopped.
In other circumstances one might have considered it a miracle.

We were alive.
We weren't sinking in the water.

I should have rejoiced.

Two thoughts flashed through my mind.

I have to return these pants.
I can’t go to a restaurant like this.

I dropped her at her Aunts. I didn’t even get a good night kiss.

I snuck back into the dorm. I was a flop, a failure.

Don’t ever ask God to help you sin.

The next day ( a beautiful day) I drove her home. We hardly talked.

Soon after we broke up.

I suppose she is telling her grandkids about the geek that took her to the Snow Ball. But maybe not.

The wife I have now says I should throw the tickets away.

But they tell me something about God ( God has a sense of humor)

So I never will.

6950 spins without a prize. Hapless got an email today from some nice people who want to help him win at lotto. For just $39.95 a month they will use chaos theory to give him the best possible numbers to play. Not only that but it comes with a guarantee. If after six months he hasn't won at least $15,000 they will give him the next six months of losing numbers for free. Hapless had to turn the offer down because he is very good at picking losing numbers and he doesn't need their help. Now if they would guarantee him that if he doesn't win the $15,000 they will give it to him he might reconsider.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if hapless doesn't change his mind and buy a one month trial subscription causing his ever faithful wife to take a baseball bat to his computer. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of " As the World Spins"
Coming tomorrow 100 absolutely dull facts about the good Dr. You have been warned. Please, however come back on Friday. As a further disincentive I will post pictures of me down through the ages next to the list.
Betty went to Tops and I thawed my own meal. Usually when I thaw it's a Banquet meal for $1.00 but today I thawed a high price meal ($3.76) . It was in a much prettier package and the name suggested a high price restaurant. It tasted the same as the Banquet. What kind of world is it where you end up paying more for the package rather than the contents? Three of my grand sons are here until Sunday and I am really feeling old. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

An almost real romance.

Saying for the Day: Never ask God to help you sin.

Well we come again to the box of artifacts. This time our archeologists find a couple of ticket stubs.

They tell the story of my first almost real romance.

Her name was Carol but my mother called her Blink Blink. My mother really wasn’t that fond of her. Her mother wasn’t fond of me at all.

After Nel dumped me I started college at Michigan Tech.

The only girls there at that time wore logging boots and had beards. They had all the dates they could handle. Girls were scarce.

Coming home one weekend I ran into Blink Blink.
She was a friend from Luther League.
Aside from the annoying blink she was a very nice looking girl.
Our relationship soon grew to be more than friendship.

It wasn’t a great romance.
The heavens didn’t open but they cracked a little.
The birds didn’t sing but you could hear their wings rustle.
The bells didn’t ring out but there was a chime or two.

When I held her hand there was some electricity.

I thought it was love.
Looking back it was probably lust.

I was a college freshman and still a virgin.

Blink Blink became the center of my greatest ever day dreams.
I even forgot to ask for forgiveness after some of them.
I just hoped the general Sunday confession would cover everything.

The big event of the year at Michigan Tech was the Snowball.
That’s what the ticket stubs are from.

I made plans for that ball. I worked on my dancing. (That didn’t help much.)

I plotted where we would park afterward and what would happen. ( A little necking and then whatever as nature took its course)
It was going to be great.

The arrangements were made. I would pick her up Saturday morning and drive her to Houghton.
Blink Blink would stay at her Aunt’s after the ball. I would take her home the next day.

Then I made my first big mistake. I asked God to help me sin.

I did. I can’t believe it but I did.

Don’t ever ask God to help in sinning. It’s a very bad idea. A bad idea indeed.

The day started off wonderful. The sun was shining. It looked to be a wonderful day.

Half way to Houghton everything changed.
A full scale UP blizzard hit. The snow fell fast and the wind blew hard.
I had trouble seeing the road.

Now if we had had weather bug in those days I would have known this was coming. But we had no warning.

I couldn’t snuggle up next to her. I couldn’t even pay attention to her. The road demanded every bit of attention I had.

But we made it. I dropped her off at her aunt’s. I went to my dorm to change into my tux. The snow stopped falling as fast as it had started.

The problem of course is that the place I was going to park after the dance was now drifted shut. Don’t ask God to help you sin.

By the time we got to the dance the storm had stoped. The plows were out. I thought , just maybe, the plows would open the road I needed opened.

Things went well at the dance until the disaster.

This story is too long for one entry so it will


6900 spins without a prize. Hapless is getting bored with the dollar adds that pop up after each ticket is entered in group lotto or Prize America. They are the same 8 items day after day, ticket after ticket. What they need to do is to make a deal with the company that supplies the dollar stores. They would just need 80 products. They could have a page of dollar DVDs , a page of dollar books, a page of dollar watches, a page of dollar nick knacks, a page of dollar toys, etc.
There could be a new page after each ticket. At least it wouldn't be dull. Plus hapless likes old DVDs of long gone TV shows.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if the snow doesn't end allowing hapless to get to a real dollar store where he buys lots of DVDs. Thus causing him to forget blogging . we will be back tomorrow with another adventure of "As the World Spins"

The first comment I got today caused me to wonder if praying to win the lottery is a sin. Well if it is I join Luther in sinning boldly. My computer hating sister called before 8:00 to see if our big storm took out our electric power. It didn't. She worries too much.
The house net failed this morning. When my other son installed it it lasted two weeks. When this son installed it it lasted two days. I guess Betty will have to do without the internet.
Betty got to the post office and mailed a bunch of things. We sent $100 to the Suomi Conference for their special ministry in the former Russian state. Otherwise a dull day.
Tomorrow the rest of the story. Coming up one hundred things about me. ( you can skip that day as I'll warn you the day before)Well I need a breathing treatment.

Monday, March 13, 2006

I need a comment fix. I need it NOW!

Saying for the Day: I will start tomorrow. I really will. Don't you believe me?

--Does anybody out there know a twelve step program for comment addiction.

I know now that I am addicted.

I have all the signs.

If I don’t get at least two comments a day I begin to shake.

I get depressed.

I snap at people.

I can't sleep. I go over aandover the days entry to see what went wrong,

They say that you can’t begin to escape your addiction until you have hit bottom.

I have hit bottom.

I just spent over an hour visiting blogs and leaving comments in the hope that some of them will give me a comment in return.

How low can you sink?

I considered getting tattoo's because a nice lady, whose blog I read every day, got lots of comments whem she got her's.

The only thing that saved me was the Tattoo's Are Us place in Crystal Falls closed some years ago. But the next time I get to the big city ?

My computer hating sister says I have to get a life.

I am afraid any day now she will launch an intervention.

My family and friends will sit around and tell me, one by one, how this is hurting me.

But its not just hurting me its hurting others.

I admonished my poor daughter for not leaving enough comments.

The poor girl has problems of her own.

This can not go on.

I need help.

Surely there must be a “Comments Anonymous” out there somewhere.

Tell me where and I’ll sign up.

I will. I will.

But not today. Today is leave a comment Monday.

Please give me one last fix before I start withdrawal.

Just do that one little thing and I promise to start tomorrow.

I promise.

Or maybe Wednesday.

Hey! Leave that comment.

6850 Spins without a prize. Hapless is a bit depressed. Yesterday he lost at Canasta to his grand daughter who is only ten. This despite the fact that he hinted that it was a grand daughter's duty to let grandpa win. (Really he didn't hint he told her outright). He , the greatest Canasta player, in all of Iron County defeated by a ten year old. He can hardly stand the humiliation of it all. The poor guy has no luck at all,
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if the granddaughter doesn't return and beat hapless again causing him to become so depressed he quits blogging we'll be back tomorrow with "As the World Spins".

Betty got up early this morning and took the garbage out then went back to bed. When she got up we went over all our options and decided to put in a new furnace.
My sister and Betty's sister called. The rest of the day was too dull to report.
Tomorrow the next look at the romantic life of a twentieth century Lutheran Pastor. I need a breathing treatment.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

I can't afford a dog.

Saying for the day:People need to consider each expenditure with great care and only spend what they really need to spend.

Some guy on NBC's "Deal or no Deal" said he spent $15,000 on his dog. I was astonished.

When I was a kid my dog had only me and a stick to play with.

He slept on my bed and never ever saw a veterinarian.

My dad bought some kind of worm medication at the drug store, without a prescription, and gave it to her himself.

Times have changed.

Since people have stopped having kids and started having dogs instead there is an entire industry dedicated to making stuff for dogs.

Let’s take dog toys as an example. Foster and Smith, that’s a catalogue with stuff for dogs and cats, has two full pages of dog toys.

Some of them the headline proudly says under $8.00.

Your dog can have his own cuddly donkey that grunts. As an added bonus it is Machine washable.

You wouldn’t want your little dog playing with dirty toys now would you?

In case you are worried about where to put all those toys they will sell you a dog bone toy chest. No its not made out of dog bones its shaped like one.
You wouldn’t want your dog to have to put his toys in a plain old kid type toy chest would you?
Next Christmas I am buying fewer toys for my son’s kids and buying toys for his dog instead.

Now suppose you wanted to take your pet for a walk. Walks are good for pets you know.

We used to attach Bobo’s chain and let him pull us around the block running as fast as we could to keep up. Bobo never tired but we wore out.

That kind of nonsense is gone for ever.

Now if you want to take your dog for a walk there is a super special , doctor’s choice, happy trails stroller with a ventilated cabin.
It only costs $99.00 because its on sale this month. What proud dog owner wouldn’t be happy to take little Pouchy out for a walk in his stroller?

I couldn’t even lift Bobo yet alone put him in a stroller.

Bobo used to love to ride in the car. He got in , sat up straight in the back, and was as happy as a dog can be. Those days are gone forever.

Now you need a dog ramp so your poor dog can get in the car. It's on sale too, in the telescoping form, for only $99.00 .

Now once our dog has run up his ramp he needs a seat belt just like a kid. Fleece lined, hey you wouldn’t buy the cheap economy kind, that costs $25.99. But then you know how important that a seat belt is.

In case your dog is young and not ready for a seat belt there is a car seat made just for him at only $69.99 and that’s the regular price it’s not on sale.

Have you taken your dog to the dentist lately? Well the good news is you don’t have to. Foster and Smith will provide you everything you need to ensure good oral health for just $19.99. That includes a brush and toothpaste.

Bobo had to clean his teeth on dog bones and biscuits but that was because we didn’t know we could get a complete kit for his oral care.

Is your dog nervous? Does it run around a lot when guests come. Foster and Smith can take care of that to with Doctor’s Choice ultra-calm biscuits.

A kind of a doggy downer.

If that doesn’t work they have a spray that relieves pet stress . Its called comfort zone spray and costs only $29.99. This is wonderful because there is nothing worse than a stressed out dog. ( I don’t think I’ll read this blog to Betty or she will be ordering some to use on me after I finish reading liberal and conservative blogs.)

My dog ate table scrapes and cheap dog food and lived to be fifteen years old.

Now if you want to make sure your dog has a long , productive (what in the world does a dog produce), life you have to get it vitamin supplements and special dog food.

Regular table scraps are bad for its heart you know. But super dog food that has been enriched with every important mineral under the sun will keep that heart beating to a good old age.

Before I started this blog entry I was thinking of getting another dog but now I know I can’t afford it.

6800 spins without a win. Today hapless did some investigating. According to Iwon's winner's list the last winner of the Iwon pick seven contest was Scott Dougherty on 04/20/2004. We are approaching the two year mark without another winner. Does this discourage hapless? No it excites him. He now knows one thing and believes another. He knows somebody has won. He believes its almost time for another win. This time it could be him. Poor hapless he'll never learn
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if old hapless doesn't pick the right seven numbers and win the $70,000 causing him to quit blogging and move to Green Bay. We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of "As the World Spins"

We had a great day today. Betty and I got to spend time with the grandkids . I got to make potato, garlic , and cheese pancakes. Luke ate three of them. Today's bread turned out well. It did not bounce. Even the dog was happy to visit. Finally I got to play canasta. Betty and I were partners and got beaten by my ten year old granddaughter and Lori. George left with them. i think I will miss the old guy. He has stood guard in the basement for so many years.
Well everybody has left and I need a breathing treatment.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

The Telephone Game

Saying for the Day: Its not if you win or lose but how you play the game.

I have been playing a lot of the telephone game lately. You know the game you play with the salesman who calls wanting to sell you something.

The idea is that the one who hangs up first loses.

I know there are lots of game players out there so I thought from time to time I’d share a game with you.

This is one from yesterday.

My wife answers the phone and the guy asks to speak to Mr. Linna.

My wife hands me the phone.

Hello. This is Mr. Linna.

Hi, John . This is .

Wait. I don’t know you. I’m not John . I’m Mr. Linna to you.

I’m sorry. I mean Mr. Linna ( He’s a good player)

So what’s your name?

I’m Roger.

Is that Rog. Last name Er.

No, no. My name is Roger. Roger. ( he really said it twice)

You mean your last name isn’t Er.

No! My name is Roger. ( He is playing well)

Well Roger what is your last name?

Hey! I don’t have to tell you that. ( a clear mistake. A good player makes up a name)

Sure you do if you want to sell me something.

What do you need it for.

Well You could be a sex pervert and I need your last name to check the pervert list on the internet.

You could be one too.( Insulting a potential customer. Don’t they teach them anything about sales any more?)

Ah! But you have my last name. Feel free to check.

I’m not a pervert.( A little too forcefully)

Maybe you’re a wanted criminal. I need your last name to check it out.

I’m not a criminal.

How do I know you won’t give me you last name to find out.

I don’t have too.. (Please note we still don’t know what he’s selling)

Are you ashamed of your last name?

No, of course not.

I bet you are. I bet it’s Bush. You’re a relative of the President aren’t you.


I wouldn’t admit to being his relative either. Nobody would buy from you. They’d know you were lying.

I’m not a Bush.

Well who are you them? Why are you hiding your identity?

Look! I’m not telling you my last name.( This guy is stubborn)

Okay then were stuck because I’m not going to listen to you until you do.

Well you will be missing out on ..

No ! You don’t. I’m not hearing your pitch without the last name.

Hang up then.( Never thought I’d hear a salesman say that.)

And let you win. Never.


We’re playing the telephone game. The one that hangs up loses

Well I’m not hanging up.

I have to tell you. I almost never lose. I’m old . I’m bored . I’m not trying to sell anything.

Look I just want to tell you about..

No you don’t. No last name no sales pitch. That’s rule number one.

So hang up.

Hey I don’t like losing. You hang up.

Look just let me tell you and we can get this over with.

Not without that last name. I’ve got lots of time.

Well ! I’m not hanging up.

At this point my wife calls me to breakfast. She doesn’t care if I win or lose. I am expected in the Kitchen. NOW ( She handles my oxygen at night and I don’t cross her)

I hang up. I lose.

Darn I hate losing.

6750 spins without a win. Hapless is happy this morning because that darn contest is over and he gets his space back. For four days he hasn't had any place to whine about his losing. He has continued to lose. He has spun and lost. He has played five different free lottos and lost. He played 15 free games of video poker and lost. He has been very busy losing. Since this seems to be what keeps him happy life is good.
Well friends of Uncle Wiggly if hapless doesn't spin and win the million causing the very fabric of the universe to rip letting in those horrible aliens that eat internet blogs . We will be back tomorrow with " As the World Spins".

I cooked a new bread today and somehow got some super yeast. The bread came out of the oven so full of air that if you hit it, it bounced. When it cooled it collapsed. My son , his wife and my two grandchildren came so I spent the day playing grandfather. It was fun. Nothing like grandkids to make you feel young. Peter fixed Betty's bed, put the lights in the garage, and put the computers back on the house net. Well I need a breathing treatment.

Friday, March 10, 2006

The only blog with "green hair"

Saying for the Day: Would you like green hair and spam? Ham I am.

I read on a blog where some guy typed in “Huzaifa Das” into his blog and therefore had a monopoly on Google searches for ”Huzaifa Das”

What a wonderful idea but he didn’t carry it far enough.

So I have decided to make my bid for Google domination.

First I needed a stupid phrase.

One that most people would never use.

I choose “Green Hair”. Like in my wife went to the beauty shop and came home with green hair.

Now I have to go to Babel Fish and get the phrase translated into a whole bunch of languages.

Dutch = “groen haar”
French = “ cheveux verts “
German = “grünes Haar”
Greek = “πράσινη τρίχα”
Italian = “capelli verdi”
Portuguese = “cabelo verde”
Russian = “зеленые волосы”
Spanish = “pelo verde”
Finnish = “vihreä hius”

Let me review:Dutch = “groen haar”, French = “ cheveux verts “,German = “grünes Haar”, Greek = “πράσινη τρίχα”, Italian = “capelli verdi”, Portuguese = “cabelo verde”, Russian = “зеленые волосы”,Spanish = “pelo verde”, Finnish = “vihreä hius”

Now when anybody goes to Google and types in “green hair” in any of these languages my blog comes up.

I have a monopoly on “green hair”

Let me review again :Dutch = “groen haar”, French = “ cheveux verts “,German = “grünes Haar”, Greek = “πράσινη τρίχα”, Italian = “capelli verdi”, Portuguese = “cabelo verde”, Russian = “зеленые волосы”,Spanish = “pelo verde”, Finnish = “vihreä hius”

Yesterday I was a nobody but today I am King of the “Green Hair” group.

It is mine. It is mine.

At least till somebody else puts it in their blog.

Then I think I’ll try “Green Eggs”

6700 spins without a prize. The stupid comment contest is over. The judge has handed me the final sheets. I will not cut to a commercial. First the winner of yesterday's suprise prize is Jimbo Big Toe who gets 19 blog explossion credits for his effort. However, I do not recomend going to his blog because he is sex obsessed .
Now on to the big winners.
Fifth place and 1 credit goes to Maritza .
Fourth place and 5 credits goes to Tricia.
Third place and 10 credits goes to Mimi.

Second Place and 50 credits goes to Laurie who finished one point behind the leader.

And the first place and 150 credits goes to (drum roll) TC.

Thank you to all who took part in this our first and last comment contest. Thanks to our faithful, hard working, judge. This despite the fact that I am not in full agreement with her decisions.
Now Uncle Wiggly lovers if non of the losers hack into my blog in revenge causing it to become a blog with pictures of birch trees hapless loser will be back tomorrow on "As the World Spins"

If you want to read a funny well written blog that's not on blog explosion check out today's entry by Lori at LinnasMinute.
I played the telephone game this morning. The salesman lasted six minutes (she who controls my oxygen says it was more like 16) and never got to tell me what he was selling. I won.
Went and finally got that haircut. I feel funny now. I was going to get it died green for today's blog but she who controls the oxygen said no. Then we went grocery shopping. We have one set of grandkids coming tomorrow and one set on Wednesday so we needed a little food.
After that it was dull, dull, dull. I need a breathing treatment.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

4. Lutherans and SEX

Contest prizes(with pictures)......... Contest rules
Saying for the Day: It is incumbent on every Lutheran to build up the Church.
As the holder of an earned Doctor’s Degree I am expected to do research and write papers based on that research.

I usually don’t reveal the nature of that research until the paper is published in the proper journal.

But the research I am doing now is leading to such astounding conclusions that I must share them with you my loyal blog readers in advance of the official paper.

Hold onto your seat as this will astound you.

Lutherans do not have sex because of lust.

Lutherans don’t have sex to have fun. (A few bad Lutherans do but when their wives find out they repent.)

Lutherans do not have sex because of undying love.

Why do Lutherans have sex?

It is for Evangelism.

Sex is the way to help the Church grow.

You see the Lutheran Church has never been much for pushing the faith on others.

Lutherans don’t go door to door saying “Are you saved buddy?”

In fact Lutherans , as a general rule, never talk about their faith at all.

Lutherans are not fanatics.

So how does the Lutheran Church grow?

The answer is Lutherans have evangelistic sex.

Lutherans have sex to produce more Lutherans. It is that simple.

If you don’t believe me ask a Lutheran about the religion of his grand parents or great grandparents. You’ll see the pattern.

This is why Lutheran Pastors are against abortion for Lutherans.

Non Lutherans can and probably should abort unneeded children.

Once the new Lutheran is produced. The church takes control.

The church provides, nursery school, Sunday school, Confirmation and sometimes even all day school to insure that the child becomes part of the church.

Once grown the child is expected to use sex to build the faith.

It is incumbent that a Lutheran marry a non-Lutheran and convert them to the faith.

Sex here is the attraction. No conversion means no sex.

So Lutherans marry Catholics and convert them. Lutherans marry Hindus and convert them. Lutherans even marry atheists and convert them.

The only group that Lutherans don’t convert is that group that threatens to cut off your head if you convert.

Lutherans don’t take chances we leave that to the Baptists.

My research is almost complete and the paper is almost done.

The only group that does better at Evangelism by sex is the Catholics.

You know how many new little Catholics they have.

6650 spins without a win. Last day of this stupid contest. The winner of yesterday's surprise prize is TC from Twisted Chili dot Com who after coming so close finally made it. He gets 27 blog explosion credits. however, if you go to his blog today, you will see why we are thinking of suspending the prize. He violated his oath of secrecy and has revealed Hetico's laws to the world. Shame on him.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if My Bishop doesn't read this blog and pull my pastoral credentials causing me to be so depressed i can't blog we will return tomorrow with "As the World Spins"

Spent the morning adding a new top ten list to the church website. Also put the bulletin for this coming Sunday. Blogger was down for a bit but I don't complain because its free. Pennie called and she has to have her hand operated on.
I gave in to Betty's polite suggestions (not nagging) and agreed to go to the barber.
Our one barber shop was closed. I guess I'll just have to keep looking like the cave man on the Geico add .
So we went shopping. After that dull, dull, dull. Now I need a breathing treatment.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

3. Hetico's three laws !!!

Contest prizes(with pictures)......... Contest rules
Saying for the day: Never do something that you can get someone else to do for you.
---Everybody knows Murphy’s laws but today I an going to reveal to the handful of people who read my blog the long kept secret of Hetico’s Laws.

These laws were formulated and given to me by my intern supervisor and mentor , Dr. Bob Hetico after I signed a document in blood that I would never reveal them.

Understand that before you continue to read, that I expect you to take an oath never to reveal these laws to anybody. If you can’t do that leave and read some other blog.

For those of you who remain:

Hetico’s first law of getting work done.
The less you know how to do the more other people will do for you.

Every night my wife carefully straps on my breathing mask because she is sure I can’t do it myself ( of course I can). It never occurs to her that if I can get up and go to the bathroom and come back that I must be taking off and putting on the mask myself. This is how well Hetico’s law works.

Hetico’s law number two:
If you are not good at doing a job a superior person will do the job for you.

This is a wonderful law. I can not count the number of times in my ministry when I heard
“ Here Pastor let me do that for you’.

It of course meant I had to swallow my ego but getting somebody else to do your job is worth it.

Hetico’ s law number three:
If cleaning up after you or redoing the job you did will take more effort than doing the job someone will do the job for you.

Lets say I want to make some bread and I say to my wife
“dear will you get me two eggs”.

Her first thought is to say “Go get your own eggs .What do you think I am your servant.”

But she suddenly remembers the two eggs you dropped on the floor and how much trouble it was to clean up.

She gets you the eggs. You see how well Hetico’s laws work.

Now, you have been entrusted with the secret of Hetico‘s Laws.

Reveal them to no one.

Remember if you do : You will have to get your own eggs.

6600 spins without a win. The results are in and the winner of yesterday's surprise prize is Lauri from Stranded in Suburbia. That's two days in a row. Yesterday's prize is 21 blog explosion credits. TC from Twisted Chili dot Com was one point behind. Contest will now end tomorrow instead of Sunday. Judge has grandchildren coming and wants to be done judging. I NEVER ARGUE WITH THE JUDGE.

Betty did a bit of cleaning and then went to Tops. I started the bread I am taking to tonight's soup and bread meal at the church. The first loaf is done and looks pretty good. The pad came for the table. Now if only the track would come.
Very dull afternoon. Then we went to church. Fourty people came which was very good considering the local basketball team was playing in the tournament ( They won). The sermon was very good. Now I need a breathing treatment.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

2.My First Romance ?

Saying for the Day: You never forget your first romance as long as you have a picture.
Contest prizes(with pictures)......... Contest rules

--Digging into the box we find an old kodachrome picture. It is faded so badly that the color is almost gone. If you look closely you can see a young man in a suit that doesn’t fit with his arm around a girl in a pretty yellow dress.

When our archeologists do their work they will recreate my first, sort of , romance.

When I entered high school I had four things that stood in the way of romance.

I was fat. You can see it in the picture.

I couldn’t dance.

I had had a religious conversion and was disgustingly religious.

I had no car

One of these things alone was bad. You put all four together and romance becomes impossible.

Girls didn’t like fat boys.

Girls only dated boys that could dance. They did not want to be taken to a dance and end up dancing with some other girl. Even the Justice’s daughter, who met her date at the door naked (everybody in school knew that story) insisted her date be able to dance.

Girls wanted at least the possibility of sex ( I found that out later). Disgustingly religious boys that believed sex outside of marriage was of the devil really didn’t fit in.

Girls liked boys with cars.

So for my first three years of high school I went dateless. I asked a few girls out but after awhile you get tired of being laughed at.
So I spent my time going to Luther League gatherings looking for a disgustingly religious girl.

My senior year some things changed.

I lost a little weight.

My dad let me use the car.

Two out of four at least gave me a shot.

I met Nel. Nel was funny and Nel was fun. She was somebody I could talk to like Margaret.

She had nice parents. My mother thought she was okay.

I asked her to the Senior Prom.

That was a mistake. Now I had to learn to dance.

I ordered the Arthur Murray Dance Course. It came with big foldout sheets with footprints on them. You put your feet on the footprints and walked through the steps. It was horrible. But I learned enough to waltz.

They still waltzed a lot at Proms in those days.

So I took Nel to the Prom. You can see in the picture how beautiful she was. She put up with my imitation of dancing.

We went out and ate. My dad gave me money for the meal. (Money was green pieces of paper that you used to buy things before credit cards.)

I spent all my paper that night. It was a great meal.

Then I took her home.
I kissed her goodnight.
I didn’t try to take her to a motel or the woods.
I just kissed her and took her home.
I think she was disappointed .

Hey, that’s what a disgustingly religious person does.

I had day dreams in those days about sex. I did what you do during such day dreams. But I never, ever, saw Nel as part of those day dreams. And of course I repented after every one and promised God, never again.

While other boys were trying to get their girls into bed I was trying to convert her from Catholic to Lutheran.

She came from a strong Catholic home. They had eleven kids. You can hardly get more Catholic than that.

I liked her and wanted to save her from her works religion.

Did I tell you I was disgustingly religious?

I went with her until summer.

When summer came my mother talked my great uncle into getting me a job as a deckhand on an ore boat.

I’d like to tell you that my mother believed that idle hands were the devil’s tool . But I think she really hoped that a summer with all these tough drinking sailors would sand off some of the “ religious nonsense” I had developed.

I wrote every day to Nel.

She wrote once a week to me.

By the time I got home she was married to a guy named Freddie. They had a kid on the way.

That’s when I learned that some girls wanted sex as well as dancing.

Nel went on to have ten kids.

Then she left Freddie with the kids and ran off with the mail man, or the milk man, or maybe the garbage man. It was some kind of man.

You see being disgustingly religious saved me from a fate worse than death.

The wife I have now says to throw the picture away since it is so faded

But I never will because it calls back my first , sort of, romance and the miracle of religion.

No! I never will..

6600 spins without a win. For the rest of the week hapless loser is giving this space to contest details. The results are in. After forcing the judge to make a decision and warning here of the dangers of nepotism yesterdays winner of the suprise prize is in. The winner of 25 blog explosion credits is Laurie of Stranded in Suburbia . I have also decided to give a special GREAT PERCEPTION AWARD to Maritza at Jump In theOcean worth 25 credits.(this over the objection of the judge who said "she's just sucking up" .The judge didn't see her great abilty to see the real nature of this blog) Credits will be transfered as soon as I figure out how. Today we have a new and different suprise prize and you could win it. Also note you can add a comment to Monday's blog , if you haven't already done so which will count for the total in the week.
Well Uncle Wiggly lovers if the judge doesn't get too upset and quit leaving me to try to figure out winners for this contest . We will be back tomorrow with another adventure of "As the World Spins"

Betty spent the morning working on her houses while I bloged ( I need to get the credits to give away.) Is it spelled bloged or blogged.(Darn my fourth grade spelling ability). Then she got the mail (mostly junk catalogues ,no tracks, no table pad, no railroad cars, no fantasy train parts) and took a nap. I discovered that I need the blog explosion login name to transfer credits to somebody. Winners can send their name to me at ( I don't need nor want your password)
Did a little straightening in the basement in the afternoon and made some saffron bread. Betty has gone to Bible study and I need a breathing treatment.