Fast Forward from Ralph 5

Saying for the day: The world is full of strange and different animals and that's only the people part.
This is another forward from my friend Ralph:

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free
to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat
there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided
that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked too good to be
true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge f! or sale $50." The next
day someone stole it.
Caution... They Walk Among Us!

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
shouted...."Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and
said,..."Where?"
They Walk among us!!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real-estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking
him up every morning . She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for
sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that
stuff."
They Walk Among Us!!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I
got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was
open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days
a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to en! d
t he call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
They Walk Among Us!!!

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn
she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a
convertible, but didn't think she'd get sunburned "because the car was
moving".
They Walk Among Us!!!!

I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half-pound
sirloin. She informed me they only had an 8-ounce sirloin. Not wanting
to make a scene, I told her I would take the 8-ounce steak instead of
the half-pounder.
They walk among us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through
a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk....
They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a Pepsi run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. T! he cash ier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount...
They Walk Among Us!

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain
rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain that a person's
nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the
head is turned...
They Walk Among Us!

I coul dn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed
up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has YOUR
plane arrived yet?"...
They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone, and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it! for so me time before
responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough
to eat 6 pieces.
Yep, They Walk Among Us, too!
Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce, and get elected to public office.

@@@@ News from pigeon Falls-The little town in my garage where the trains still run, its too cold for dragons, and life goes on as usual-Pigeon Falls is in the middle of a blizzard. You know it a blizzard because they canceled school and tonight’s basketball game. The weather has to be really bad to cancel a basketball game. The superintendent's decision will be talked about all day and if all the roads are clear by this evening everybody will know he was wrong.
Nancy still had a few customers this morning. They were upset with game canceling and Pastor Marvel’s leaving in that order. The primary town religion is always more important than the secondary.
Fred Bubster left yesterday before the blizzard. He wasn’t here long but he will be missed. Anybody who brings free beer will be missed. But now people know there is a Bub beer. Some even know the slogan “ Your not a bud if you don’t drink BUB.”
Pigeon Falls sent out its annual tax assessments yesterday. People are screaming all over town. They want to know how, in a town where property isn’t selling. The value of their house could go up. It is mystery even Eino can’t solve.
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Today's Link-Madhukar's Blog- If your feeling a little stressed this is the blog for you. Please tell them Dr. John sent you . It will hep relieve your stress.
For those of you who are concerned about my health my blood oxygen levels were up slightly this morning. That's a good sign. I am breathin g better that's a good sign. I am back to blogging I don't know is that's a good sign or not.
I spent the moring cleaning up my link list. The three blogers that have decided not to blog for a bit I have moved to the bottom. I added the Cedar Chest the group and moved things around a bit. I took all four of the links that took us to a blog that sent us to where the person was blogging now and put in their new address. I gave Bazza and address that works. My link list is ment to be used by me, though others are welcome to use it. It allows me to visit the blogs that I want to visit. Then I watched my soaps. I visited all the links except the ones on the bottom. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

Playing with words!

Saying for the day. Your toys are whatever you choose to play with.

I love to play with words. I’m not a writer. I just love words. When I see a pile of words I just have to build something with them. Its like when Joni Mitchell, the singer sees life events she has to write a song.In every pile of words there is a key word and if you find it the others dance around it . If I’m down or feeling blue I put on my old preacher’s sweater. The one I keep in the closet next to the shelf with shampoo on it. It looks so lonely hanging there slowly unraveling along the edge as if its hoping I won’t forget everything we have written together, Hmm! Perhaps by now you are wondering what this post is all about. You may think my support stockings are on too tight and have hurt the circulation to my brain. That’s not the case. Nor have I had too much of that sweet wine or too many Hershey’s kisses. Instead in my greed for words I have a new addiction. It can renew my mind and it undoes the dullness of the day. What is it you ask. Why Cindra’s word game of course. She has piles of words waiting to be played with. I have just done so. Could I have some applause, please?

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls– the little town in my garage where trains still run, somebody saw a dragon once upon a time, and life goes on as usual.-Pigeon Falls hasn’t seen much of Tommy UK since he got hurt skiing . His dad says he has been spending his night in his room trying to forget how it felt to hit that deer. The big dance is coming up and poor Tommy sees himself as a lonely little stay at home. His entire life is unraveling before his eyes. He bought a new school sweater and planned on making a grand entrance but you can’t do that on crutches. One of his friends brought over a bag of candy kisses but that just reminded him that he won’t be getting any of the sweet real ones, at least not at this dance. The key to understanding kids Tommy’s age is that you need to know they dramatize everything and make it seem worse than it is.
Nancy says Mrs. Morris was in and somebody stole all of her grandsons blue stockings off the clothes line. What kind of person is so filled with greed that they would take a little kid’s clothes? Or was it an adult? The tracks in the snow were very small. One wonders if these were the stockings her grandson hated and this undoes his need to wear them.
Fred Bubster left a video of a young lady using Bub Beer as a shampoo for her beautiful hair. The voice over says it will renew every strand. Hmm! That is some beer, Bub Beer.
The Pigeon Falls Day committee met and voted to ask Joni Mitchell to lead the Pigeon Day Parade and sing afterward. If they pull that off they will deserve a full round of applause.
Petrovich stopped at Nancy’s for coffee and told her he has finished with driblet two and they can see it on his website. The connection to the Cindra person is even clearer than before.
*****

Today's Link-Georgian Blues- If you ever had a relative that drove you nuts or a bad friend then you have to read this entry- In your kind and helpful comment leave the words Dr. John.
Well the day wasn't dull. we went down to the clinic in Oshkosh. I had an X-ray. Saw the doctor. He gave me enough pills to kill an elephant. I had blood drawn. No I had the blood drawn first that's how he knew to give me the pills. I have a systemic infection. I have to go back and see him again next week. It took so long that I went through two little bottles of oxygen. I came home and took a nap. I didn't do any blogging. Sorry. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

New Old Sayings

Saying for the day: Sometimes the old can be made new.
It is “Leave a Comment Monday” . The day when nice people leave nice comments on every blog they visit including, of course, this one.
I continue my crusade to bring “Old Sayings” into the world of the internet and thus give them renewed life. Here are twenty more:

1. All's over but the comments
2.. All's well that ends with a comment
3.. Always comment on the bright side

4.. A comment a day keeps the doctor away
5.. Another day, another comment
6.. Any comment in a storm

7.. April showers bring May comments
8.. As clean as a comment
9. As clear as a comment

10.. As deep as a comment
11. As happy as a dead pig with a comment
12.. As honest as his comment is long

13. As mad as a March commentor
14.. As poor as the poorest comment
15.. As pure as the driven comment

16. As sharp as a comment
17. Bad weather gets better, a bad comment never does
18. Barefaced commentor.

19. Commenting up the wrong tree
20. Beat around the comment

Now you can begin to use these in your everyday internet actions. Put them in your blog. Send them in E-mail. For example you get an e-mail you really liked so you send one back that says-”When I got your e-mail I was as happy as a dead pig with a comment.” You’ll be surprised where these will fit in.Give it a try.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls-the little town where trains run, a dragon once flew, and basketball and beer is on everyone’s mind-When Fred Bubster found out that the Fly Inn didn’t serve Bub Beer he called his son and had twelve cases sent to them free of charge. He had another twelve cases sent to Lucky’s Grocery. He wants all of Pigeon Falls to experience the wonder of Bub beer. The only beer in America made from the original recipes of Kathryn Luther, Martin Luther’s wife. Everyone knows she ran a brewery while he ran a Reformation. So Bub beer is a drink not just for the body but the soul as well. Of course, they have altered the recipe in their new Nutty Bub . They have added ground up nuts to the mash. You can not believe what that does to a beer. In a national taste test squirrels preferred Nutty Bub over any other beer. You know how important squirrels are in the world of advertising. There are other beers out there but as Fred says “ Be a bud but give a bud a Bub”.
Nancy had a great day yesterday. She spent all afternoon with Tommy TW. They took a snowmobile out to the cabin on the Lake of the Loons. Then they played Canasta and watched the Academy Awards. All in all they were happy with results but they felt Alan Arkin should never have won . Eddie Murphy was so much better. The ride back in the dark was great and they didn’t see a deer let alone hit one.
Nancy was back at the shop this morning. She said that she will be happy when basketball season is over and people can get back to talking about important things like who is cheating on whom.
****

Today's Link- Standing Under the Sky- If you wondered what makes a perfect Pastor this is the blog for you. Though I'm not perfect please leave the usual Dr. John in the comment.
Another rough breathing day and the snow continues. The plow plowed our driveway in and so Betty went out to try to open it again. It was really heavy snow. The man from across the street saw her and came with his tractor and plowed it out for her. What a nice neighbor. I blogged a little. Watched my soaps. Then I visisted all the links. It was an okay day. Tomorrow I go to the lung doctor which will include a new x-ray of my lungs. I hope the snow stops. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

Spring is an Illusion

Saying for the Day: One day of snow for picture taking would be more than enough.

Friday I was starting to believe in Global Warming or if not Global Warming at least the possibility of Spring. Now I know it was an illusion and the new Ice Age is about to begin.
Friday the snow was gone. The grass was beginning to look green. My neighbor was raking the yard. I swear I could hear birds sing. The temperature had reached forty degrees. I was coming alive. I had hope that if this wasn’t Spring it soon would be.
Today you can not see the ground or the road that goes past our house. Today we are in a blizzard. I am losing all hope. It will be like Narnia always winter and never Christmas. If the plow doesn’t come soon we won’t get to church this morning. The weather report calls for snow everyday this week. The new Ice Age is upon us. Woe is me . Woe is me.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls-the little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons were seen once, and life goes on as usual.-Mrs. Wilson Mcmorison III had a surprise visitor yesterday. A surprise because the road past her place still wasn’t plowed as the county plow was behind schedule, Besides apart from the occasional Jehovah’s Witness and Mormon almost nobody ever visited her. But here he was. He introduced himself as Fred Alfred Bubster, the son of her grandmother’s sister’s daughter. The daughter that ran off and was never heard from again. It seems she married Joseph L. Bubster the head of Bubster Breweries . They make Bub beer. ”The beer you drink with a buddy.” That’s the beer with the three singing squirrels in the commercial. You know it has the song with the line “ If your not drinking Bub your not drinking bub.” It seems that his mother died when he was very young . She had had too much to drink and fell into the Lion’s cage at the zoo. She didn’t actually fall in . She climbed up and dropped in. She went to shake the lion’s paw . It was in all the local papers . His father remarried and he was raised by a stepmother who was very nice and didn’t drink. Not even Bub beer. This irritated his father because he kept saying “ What will people think if you don’t drink our beer.” So he made up some special bottles just for her to drink in public. Fred , himself had married and had four children. His youngest son was now CEO of Bubster Breweries. Alfred wife died about a year ago. That’s when he decided to try to trace the family tree. He had contacted Mrs. Wilson Mcmorison III last summer. (It caused quite a stir in town at that time) Just when he was going to come he had a slight stroke an ended up in the hospital. Then his doctor wanted him to take it easy so he couldn’t travel. But now he was fine and here he was in Pigeon Falls. All of this, of course, came out over tea and biscuits. Mrs. Mcmorison told him all about her six children all of whom were living in Florida. She told him about her thirty five grandchildren but she couldn’t remember the names of all of them. She had to get the family book and look them up. Fred entered all the information into the Family Tree program on his laptop. She invited him to stay the night but he said he had a room at the Fly Inn and it was already paid for. In addition he needed to get the rental truck back to Eino. This morning she was at the Valley Inn to take him to church and introduce him to her friends.
*****

Today's Link-All-night.org- You like Dr. House so does she. Leave a comment with the words Dr. John in it. He's no Dr. House but leave it anyway.
Rough day today. We didn't get to church because the announcer said the police wanted people to stay off the roads as the plows were having trouble getting through. Our road wasn't plowed until the afternoon. It was hard breathing and I was on oxygen most of the day. I hope it doesn't mean a change in my condition but just the air pressure with the storm. Played and lost two games of canasta. Pennie won one and Betty won the other. Pennie is out now blowing out the driveway and she hopes it won't fill in over night. I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

If Real Life was a Soap

Saying for the day: Life is stranger than fiction.

If real life was a soap opera it would be scripted much differently and be more fun to watch. Let’s suppose there is a soap opera called “Real Real Life”. One of the main villains is a 39 year old nasty women. We know, but the soap world doesn’t, she killed her last husband who she married for his money. His family has kept her in court preventing her from getting what she really wants. So she has , as any good villain does, taken a number of jobs including TV host. But she has other big plans. She takes a number of lovers and has a very young child which she leaves behind. The child, however is important to the plot. Then suddenly she dies of a drug overdose. Now you and I know because we watch soaps all the time that she isn’t really dead. She got a plastic surgeon, the kind that are always available on the soaps and had the appearance of a friend and her own changed. Then she has one of her thugs, they always have thugs, kill her and make it look like and overdose. She has named her executor who is ,of course, in on the secret. Then she kidnaps another star that she has been altered to look like. She imprisons the star in a log cabin in the hills watched over by another thug. Then she takes her place. This might be noticed so she fakes a breakdown including shaving off all her hair so that nobody knows what to expect from her. Everything is going perfectly except the possible father wants a DNA test so he can get his hands on the money. The test shows the child is not the dead woman’s child or any of the possible fathers. The authorities being stupid think that somebody has substituted a different child. It never occurs to them that what was substituted was the dead woman. The child as all of us know was born after our villain was inseminated with the last of the sperm of Albert Einstein. But there is no Einstein DNA to match it with. The Child , however, has a champion , Detective Paul T. Ducktil of the “We Haven’t Caught One Yet” detective agency. He is on his way to the sperm bank because of a note he found in her papers.. But you and I know that a thug is also on his way. Will our villain ever get caught?
Well that’s the way it would be if Real Life was scripted by the soap writers.
On the other hand real life is pretty weird as it is as our writers would never script in a crying judge.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls– The little town where the trains still run, a dragon flew, and the team keeps winning.-The New Potatoes won again last night. One can remember when they hadn’t won a game and nobody expected them to. But now everybody has begun to think they can’t lose. Kivi and Maki’s have brought in a bunch of those hands that say we are number one. They are selling very well. There were a lot of them at the game last night. When the cheer leaders shout out we are the New Potatoes the very best there are. People join in with enthusiasm. How quickly everything has changed.
There were 14 inches of snow in Pigeon Falls last night or as Mayor Trumble says a light dusting. It certainly didn’t keep the Liar’s Club from it’s Saturday breakfast meeting. The committee on contests reported on plans for the first ever Liar’s Club internet story contest. The topic will be dragons. Entries will be limited to 500 words. Liar’s Club members and residents of Pigeon Falls are excluded from participation as is the entire Linna family. The contest will begin on the second Tuesday in March and run two weeks . Early entries will be received and can be sent to linnajohn@sbcglobal.net. Judging will be by the Liar’s Club. Members of the club have been asked to inform their internet friends of the contest. Because these are to be read in public with children present entries with potty or sex words may be excluded. Buddy East thanked the committee for their hard work. The prize subcommittee will report at the next meeting. In other business the Liar’s Club had to turn down requests for its sixty piece band to play at Dirty River Armory. One of the three members has the flue. Members were reminded that their $8.00 yearly dues were due.
Nancy said that somebody stopped in for coffee this morning and asked where Mrs. Wilson Mcmorison III lived. He said he was a relative and he wanted to stop in and visit her. Nancy gave him the usual Pigeon Falls type directions. You go to the end of town , past Last Lutheran Church then turn onto the first gravel road to the left. Go down past three dirt roads then turn on the first dirt road to the right. That’s where the old Blakmore place was before it burned down. Keep driving until you see a mansion, that isn’t it but your close. The next big house on the right is hers. But she told him he should wait until the plows come through unless he has a four wheel drive. He thanked her and went back to the Fly Inn.
Could this be the long lost Bubster, sometimes spelled Bubbster? Where has he been? Where is that dragon or is fourteen inches of snow too much? What about the White Rabbit ? Did the dragon eat it? Will Tommy Uk ski again? How is Tommy TW ‘s book coming. Hang in there and at least one of these questions will get answered.
****

Today's Link-Our New Baby- If you like cute kid pictures here they are. Leave Dr. John in the comment. Please. I know he isn't cute but do it any way.
Had a fairly good night last night. Got up to a blizard. Did a littel blogging. Did a little family research. Pennie was not on call so we played canasta and I won both games. Then I blogged some more. Not the most exciting day but not bad. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

Bits and Pieces

Bits and Pieces
Just a few things I found this week on the blogs that you can read or jump over.

Do you want to know where words like threshold and wake came from? Do you want to know where terms like “saved by the bell” , “ upper crust” and “chewing the fat” came from. Well our good friend Alastair did the deep research for us and you can see it by clicking HERE. This is the kind of useless information that you can surprise your friends with.

Want to make a reasonable easy to prepare meal. Well Margaret gives us a recipe for Swedish Meatballs ( that’s Swedish not Finnish). That is easy to make and low in cost. Click HERE for that.

Wondering what to get for that special gift. Want something original, usable, and reasonable in cost. Then click HERE and see the cups designed by Janvanghogh.

You have read what the political right thinks of the people in Washington and you have read what the political left thinks of those same people. Click HERE for a blog by the raging middle.

Wouild you like to see some beautiful pictures of a winter walk in Calgary Alberta, Canada? Then click HERE and The Old Fart will guide you.


@@@@News from Pigeon Falls– The little town where the trains still run, dragons might fly, and the Lutherans are sad.– All day yesterday Nancy listened to Pastor Marvel stories. You know the ones that begin “ I remember when”. It would seem that the good Pastor touched a lot of lives during his twenty years in Pigeon Falls and they really don’t want him to go. But even if they don’t want him to go he is leaving. He will be at Last Lutheran for two more Sundays and then he will be on his way to Florida. He has arranged for the Bishop to come and talk with the Council about what happens next. The Bishop will be in Pigeon Falls next Wednesday and will have super with the council. He will also preach at the Midweek Lenten service. Nancy says she has read where there is a shortage of pastors in the ELCA and they may not be able to get one for Last Lutheran. The head of the council said that it doesn’t seem fair for God to take their one Pastor and send him to a congregation that already has two. Not fair at all! Perhaps the Bishop can explain that.
It snowed last night in Pigeon Falls and Mrs. Trumble was out this morning with her Anderson snow scoop. Usually Tommy UK does the driveway for her but with his sprained ankle he couldn’t. Those darn deer cause so many problems.
A stranger came in on the milk train this morning. He had no skis , no snowmobile, and didn’t look like the hunting type. He took a room at the Fly Inn but he didn’t have a reservation. He said he was in town to visit an old friend but he didn’t say who. One thing is sure you can’t sneak into Pigeon Falls on the milk train.
********

Today's Link- BagMomma- Ever wonder what a super hero could do for you? Wonder no more! Please be heroic and leave the usual Dr. John in the comment.
I slept pretty well last night which means I was really ready for this super dull day. I did a little blogging ( sound familiar?) . I watched my soaps. I did some more blogging. I watched Law and Order CI. I did some more blogging. I almost forgot the high point of the day . My sister Dawn called just to say hello. That was the excitement. The center of the day. Now I need a breathing treatment .
GBYA

Running Again ?

Saying for the day- You deserve what you elect to office.


I’m bored again so I am back to thinking about running for President. I am forming a first class think tank to help me examine the problem’s of the nation. Now I know that being bored is not the best reason for running but
1. I am not rich with so much money that I figure I can buy the office.
2. I don’t have five houses and would like to add the white house to my collection.
3. My father was never President.
4. I haven’t been governor and see the Presidency as the next logical step up.
5. I don’t belong to a group with all the answers and a need to impose them on everybody else.
6. I have no lust for power.
In other words I don’t have any of the usual reasons for running.
Today I want to look at another road block to my candidacy. I have never served in the military.
Military service or lack of it seems very important to the Press .Candidates should have been in the military ( National Guard doesn’t count) , It would be helpful if they were in a plane that was shot down and they crawled through the jungle to safety or if their boat sank and they swam miles through shark infested waters.
I am afraid that if they looked at me they would not only find one who never served but one who comes from a long line of non servers. My grandfather John fled Finland on his brother’s passport to escape the Russian draft. My father was deferred in WW 2 because he was a pharmacist ( a great way to dodge the draft). I didn’t serve in Viet Nam.I was in Seminary when it started and deferred. The odd thing is that I was such a Hawk in those days I considered becoming a chaplain but then along came Peter. In any case there is plenty there for the Press to play with.
It seems we Americans like our Presidents to have been in the military and I wasn’t.
A very definite obstacle to climb over.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons used to fly, and life goes on as usual– Pastor Marvel called a special meeting of the church council after last night’s Ash Wednesday service at Last Lutheran. Then he submitted his resignation and informed them that he had accepted a call to Laughing Lutheran in Kickme Florida. He told them he felt that God was calling him. He thanked the council for their support and prayers during his ministry. Bob Olson who is Council President said that he though Pastor Marvel was crying while he told them. It was a very emotional moment. Life at Last Lutheran will never be the same again.
One of those grocery store tabloids was in Pigeon Falls yesterday to take pictures of an talk to Tommy UK. One can see the headline now “Miracle Boy Hits Deer and Lives” . They will increase his speed and the size of the deer and might even roll him down a hill. Tommy loved the whole thing. He was going to buy several of the papers when they came out but the person doing the interviewing said they would send him a stack for free. So Tommy UK has his moment in the sun. Well actually his moment in the snow.
Tom Maki, President of the “Proud Finns” group reminded everyone that this coming Saturday was the toughest Finn contest. It will be help out at Ofa Rannkin’s camp. All the contestants will Sauna together, then roll in the snow, jump in the pond, and then sit in the deck chairs provided. The last one to go back in the Sauna wins the title. Last year’s winner Ussi Pelkonen won’t be competing beaus he is still recovering from the effects of his pneumonia. For those who survive a Finnish feast will be served consisting of Lihapullat with boiled potatoes, Kaalikääryleet, and with Mämmi for dessert. Of course there will be plenty of Pulla to go with the meal.
******

Today's Link-Things in Life- Summer is coming. This could help. Please leave Dr. John in the comment.
I had a rough night last night and slept poorly. I did some blogging. I watched my soaps which seem to be getting dumber and dumber. I did a little more blogging. When Pennie came home she and Betty went grocery shopping. One can not live on Jam and bologna alone. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

Fast Forward from Ralph 4

Saying for the day- Different strokes for different folks.

My friend Ralph likes to forward things and I want to share with you the best of his forwards.

Martha vs. Maxine
*Martha's Way*
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
*Maxine's Way *
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

*Martha's Way*
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Maxine's Way *
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix , keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

*Martha's Way*
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Maxine's Way *
Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

*Martha's Way*
If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Maxine's Way *
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

*Martha's Way*
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Maxine's Way *
Celery? Never heard of it!

*Martha's Way*
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Maxine's Way *
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

*Martha's Way*
Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine's Way *
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

*Martha's Way*
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Maxine's Way *
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

*Martha's Way*
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Maxine's Way *
Leftover wine???????????
HELLO?????

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and basketball is King.-The New Potatoes won again last night. This time by twenty points. It isn’t even March and March madness is setting in. People are talking tournaments and going downstate. Nancy says she even knows one family, she isn’t telling who, that has already made reservations at a downstate motel. There is talk of renting a bus. Alex Butter , the only person in town who owns an airplane, is thinking of flying down. The whole town has gone basketball crazy.
Tommy UK has a sprained ankle. He and several friends were out cross country skiing on the Lake of the Loon trail. They were on the long downhill part where you can really build up some speed but it okay because its all straight on the bottom. Tommy was pushing for all he was worth. His friend said it looked like he was trying to set some kind of speed record. Just before he got to the bottom a deer ran across the trail and he hit it. That’s right he hit a deer. Given the speed he was going he was lucky that all he got was a sprained ankle. He wouldn’t have that but the deer was not happy about being hit and kicked him while he was lying in the snow. Then he couldn’t ski so he had to wait there until his friend brought back help on a snowmobile. For the next few days Tommy UK will be on crutches.
Petrovich says he is still working on understanding the first driblet but the one thing he is sure of is that since it contains Cindra’s words for this week it is like a date stamp. It says everything in the driblets will take place after this date. That’s why he was wrong before. He didn’t have this driblet.
Will the New Potatoes keep winning? Will Tommy UK ever ski again? Is Petrovich right this time? Where is that pesky dragon? Will any of these questions every be answered? Does anybody care?
*****

Today's Link-Patterns of Ink- It might cause you to check your peanunt butter. Please leave the crunchy, chewy, Dr. John in the comment.
Breathing was a little better today. I did some blogging. I watched my soaps. Betty and I went to Walgreen's and I discovered that they don't sill Vicks,Ludens, or Smith Brothers cough drops anymore. So much for my childhood. In my Aunt's drug store they wer eright next to the cash register and the candy counter. I think I miss them. I did a google search and they are still being made but they seem to be sold only by reto candy companies . Pennie and I spent some time talking about the paper storage cabinet she wants to build. Now that she has the saw she wants to get started building. I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

A suprising church

Saying for the Day- Is there a Word from the Lord?

The Church Betty and I are attending continues to surprise me. First, the Pastor who I assumed from previous weeks to be a mediocre preacher at best, preached a great sermon. In it I could hear God speaking to me.
Then there was the second bell choir. We had heard the other bell choir on a previous visit. But this was a children’s bell choir and they were good. I am beginning to understand why there are so many children in church. They are part of what is happening. They are involved in the worship. Another thing the Pastor does is that at some point in the worship service he stops everything and has the congregation sing Jesus Loves Me. That song belongs to the kids. They may not be able to sing the hymns for the day but this song is theirs and they belt it out. They are part of the worship. They are important.
Another surprise , one of the ushers for the day was in an electric wheelchair. This chair doesn’t just have a handicapped accessible sign . The same person held the cup for communion. I swear his face glowed .
I am beginning to love this church.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls– The little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and Mrs. Trumble rules– The town council met last night to decide on the new library. The architects had turned in their drawings and it was clear that building a new building would cost less than either of the proposed renovations. It was also clear that a new building would be handicapped accessible, have a computer room, and fit the needs of a modern world. So Mrs. Trumble came ready to get it built. She started the meeting by saying that the question before the council was how can they get the best library for the money available. She allowed only thirty minutes of debate. Two of the council members who wanted to enlarge the Town Hall were upset. The final vote was five in favor of building a new library and two against. One of the losing council members said that Mrs. Trumble thinks she is the Stalin of Pigeon Falls. Mrs. Trumble said “ We have had enough talk it is time to build.”
Of course, the talk at Nancy’s this morning was about the council meeting . Most people supported Mrs. Trumble but there were some that didn’t. Some people felt that the library had always been in the Town Hall and it made no sense to build a new one. Some said that Pigeon Falls is just a little town and it doesn’t need a fancy library with a computer room. And a few people were afraid that the kids would use those computers to look at porn. They had heard that was what kids did in the city.
Over at the Fly Inn Bar and hotel tempers flared. After a few drinks Henery Bailey announced that Mrs. Trumble wasn’t even born in Pigeon Falls and had no right to be Mayor. One of her supporters took offense at that and it looked like they were going to come to blows. That’s when Joe the bartender put his bat on the bar and asked them to leave. They left.
*****

Today's link-Intergalactic Art by Stacey Whaely- Another art blog but different- Please leave Dr. John in the comment in order to keep balance in the universe.
IF you are looking for a soecial and unique gift then I recomend you look at the cups by Janvangogh. Click HERE.
Had a hard time breathing today. I'm not sure why. We left the Fortress in the morning and went to the Motor Vehicle Office. we had the forms filled out to get Wisconsin plates and Wisconsin licensees . We didn't know we had to be able to prove we lived in Wisconsin for thirty days to get the licensees but we did get new plates. It will take another visit to get everything done. From their we went to Menard's and looked at the prices of some lumber for a project Pennie wants to build. Then we went to the Golden Corral and ate. An experience I don't plan on repeating. Then we came home. I took a short nap and some oxygen. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

Renewing Old Sayings

Saying for the day: There is nothing as comfortable as a pair of old shoes.

It is leave a comment Monday. The day on which everyone leaves comments.
To celebrate the day I have renewed ( mangled) some old sayings.
Renewed old sayings now about comments:

1. A comment on the blog is worth two in the head.

2. A day late and a comment short.

3. A comment fit for the gods

4. A fool and his comments are soon parted

5. A friend who comments is a friend indeed

6. A man after my own comments

7. A man is as good as his comment

8. A man is known by the comments he leaves

9. A man of few comments

10. A penny for your comments

11. A poor comment is better than none at all

12. A comment of beauty is a joy forever

13. A time for all comments

14. A wise man listens to his own comments

15. A comment to the wise is sufficient

16 Comments makes the heart grow fonder

17. After the feast comes the comment

18. Alive and commenting

19. All good things come to those who comment

20. All work and no comments makes Jack a dull boy

I feel a need ( honesty in blogging ) to tell you that whenever you see the old sayings these came from you will feel a subconscious need to come to the Fortress and comment. You can overcome this hypnotic suggestion by leaving a comment on this blog today.
Good commenting.

News from Pigeon Falls-the little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and Petrovich is at it again. – Petrovich came into Nancy’s all excited saying he has proof positive that Alexis Grengicoff was a true seer. It seems that Petrovich brought back with him some new driblets that were written in Coptic and that he has translated into English. He has discovered that the first driblet contains the same eighteen words as the word game at Cindra’s blog for the week. This he feels can not be a coincidence. It is as sure as that fat ladies will not be asked to contract for an expensive strip poker game. Or that you will never see a thousand lazy monkey creatures sniffing through the underwear department of the big community department store. You won’t see it even if you dream or if you really wanted to see it. Such wisdom might rub you the wrong way but as long as you have custody of your mental facilities you know it is no coincidence. For once Nancy didn’t know what to say. She promised to look at the Blog of Cindra and Petrovich’s website. She is going to have Tommy TW look too. Perhaps they will look together.
Aside from Petrovich Nancy had a lot of Last Lutheran members stopping in to cry a bit because they are sure that Pastor Marvel will leave them. He has been in Pigeon Falls for so long he is like a pair of old shoes. There might be better and newer ones out there but these are worn in and are comfortable. If he goes he will be missed.
*****

Today's Link-MikeMcgann.org-A blog entry anout comments -Wow! Leave the usual Dr. John in the comment and see if sees it as spam.
Today was a nice day, dull but nice. I blogged, finished a book, watched my soaps, read the Sunday papers, ate a banna split my daughter brought home for me, blogged some more. Okay it wasn't exciting. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

Be Nice to your Pastor

Saying for the day: Sheep sometimes bite and aren't alweays cute.

A 2006 Church of England report warned that disagreeable congregants, together with the pressures of the church's "feudal system" bureaucracy, were turning priests harshly negative and creating an "irritable clergy syndrome." One of the report's authors told The Times of London in December that priests are bothered by "having to be nice all the time to everyone, even when confronted with extremes of nastiness," such as aggressive and neurotic parishioners. [The Times (London), 12-9-06]1)
The people of God are not always nice to their leaders.
Sometimes it is hard to be the Shepherd of unruly sheep that bite.
So this morning if you are a church member say a little prayer for your Pastor or your Priest.
Pray that God would fill his or her life with joy and peace of the Holy Spirit.
Pray that people would be kind .
Pray that people will be as willing to forgive the Pastor’s failings as he or she is willing to forgive theirs.
When the Pastor preaches ask “ What is God saying to me” instead of “ What is wrong with this sermon”
You might even tell your Pastor or Priest that you are thankful God sent them to your congregation. ( Don’t lie-if you can’t do this at least tell him or her your praying for them)
The God who wants us to feed his sheep also wants us to care for His Shepherds.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my garage where the trains still run , dragons fly, and life goes on as usual– Pastor Marvel told the congregation this morning that it was probable that in the next week or so he would have to decide if he was going to continue to be their Pastor or if God was calling him to a new parish. He asked them to pray for him.During the coffee hour people were overheard saying the following:
“ He just wants more money”
“ He is still upset because Marie called him a stupid old man.”
“What does he really want?”
“ He is looking for a chance to have more power.?”
“ I thought he would stay until he got to be Bishop.”
“ He’s only been here twenty years . What’s his hurry to leave.“
“ Florida ! That’s like always being on vacation”
“ Doesn’t he care about us?”
“ After all we’ve done for him”
“ Didn’t we give him that $ 100 raise last year? What does he want?”
“ I sure will miss him if he goes”
After the service Pastor Marvel got a call telling him that “ Laughing Lutheran “ voted to call him. There were only two negative votes and the chairman said those two always vote negative on everything.
Now Pastor Marvel has to decide where God wants him to be. In Pigeon Falls or Kickme. Over the years he has come to love these people. He has baptized and confirmed so many of them. He has shared their joys and their sorrows. They are family. Does God want him now to leave family and go to an unknown land? He is not Abraham after all. He knows that there are people in Florida praying that he will come and there are people in Pigeon Falls praying that he will stay. He is praying that God’s will be done. If only he knew what that will was.
******

Today's Link:Wort's Going On Here - For beer lovers everywhere a change of pace. If you can still type at the end leave a Dr. John in the comment.
It was a sort of nice day. The church service was great. My daughter was on call and had to go off to the hospital several times. I blogged. I played with Cindra's words. I had a lot of fun with those. You will see the results tommorow in the Pigeon Falls section. I used the eighteen words four times each but you will only get to see two and then only if you choose to go to Petrovich's Website. But it was fun. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

Another Best Buy

Saying for the Day- You can't always trust a name.

The other day we went to Best Buy. I needed to walk and it is a very big store. Of course, I also got to look at computers and Betty looked at washing machines. While we were there I bought two PC games, one for Betty and one for me. When Betty’s computer crashed she lost the mahjongg games that she really liked playing so I picked up another one. It was only $9.98. I have been really bored lately so I picked up an adventure game called Nemesis for me. It was only $9.98. I figured for $20 plus tax we could have hours of fun. Wrong!
First I loaded Betty’s game into her computer. There were no warning messages. It did not say you are missing a trm.dll at 2006 or anything like that. When I clicked on the shortcut it came right up. There was this beautiful picture of a mountain. There was a note on the side that there were 144 tiles and 6 were free. Just the way everything was supposed to be. The only little problem : there were no tiles. Not one single tile. The background was great. You could even change it. There must have been a hundred backgrounds. None of them had tiles. You can’t play the stupid game without tiles. So I’m out $9.98 and the tax. I chalk it up to Betty’s failing hard drive.
So I load my game onto my computer. Again it loads perfectly. No messages telling me that I have any kind of problem. It finishes loading and it says I have to do the Microsoft thing. You know turn the computer off and back on to adjust the things you never see. So I do that and there is the shortcut. It looks like a roman coin. I double click and the screen goes black. Then in the center a light and music starts. Little by little the name of the software company forms in the center. But something is dreadfully wrong. The name is reversed and upside down. It morphs to the menu . There is this mean looking Roman guy. But he is upside down, the menu is upside down and reversed. But its okay because it has rteset my mouse. When I love left the arrow goes right . When I move it right the arrow moves left. There is no way I can play this game. Now I need to move the arrow to what I think is exit on the menu. That was not easy but I reach it annd get out. My screen returns to normal. I am out $9.98 plus tax.
Well I know my computer Is not on its last legs so I go to Google and find the website of the software company “Enlight”. I go to their support page. There is a whole long list of things that could be wrong with this program. I find the one that says picture is upside down and reversed. They tell me I have the wrong embedded graphics board. For a $9.98 game I need to go and buy a new graphics board. That would break rule seven for Linna owned computers.( Never take the cover off the tower). So now I am out another $9.98 .
I guess what I bought at “Best Buy” wasn’t the best buy.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and the basketball team keeps winning-Reinhild Rintala got so excited over last nights game that he almost fell out of his hospital bed. His son had to threaten to take away the radio to calm him down. He said that for all those years he went to all those losing games and he was not going to let a little thing like a heart attack keep him from enjoying the game. And last nights game was enough to give a person a heart attack. The team squeaked out a win in the closing minute of the game having been behind for most of it. Somehow Reinhold survived. They take basketball seriously in Pigeon Falls.
Nancy was glad everybody was talking basketball today so she wasn’t tempted to tell what she knows about Pastor Marvel. The game was replayed at least thirty times in her shop. One guy got so excited in the retelling that he hit the table and spilled coffee all over himself. He didn’t get burned so Nancy doesn’t have to worry about a law suit. She should have expected somebody to get excited and hit the table so she should have had stronger tables. That’s the American way of law. But this is Pigeon Falls and the guy apologized to Nancy for the mess.
Tommy TW has his novel, Murder in a Small Town, half finished and he wants Nancy to read it over and see what she thinks. He has worked a lot of Pigeon Falls into the novel. Nancy is going out to his house tomorrow for dinner and she will begin reading it then. She is so excited. She feels its an honor to be asked to read the book in advance. One wonders if she can stop looking into his eyes long enough to do any reading.
Will Tommy TW ever finish this novel? Well it make it to the best sellers list? Will Nancy really care? Where is the dragon and the White Rabbit? Can the New Potatoes keep winning? Will they ever get their new team logo? Can Reinhild survive another close game? Will a loss kill him? And of course is Tommy UK really the undertaker’s kid? Will any of these questions ever be answered?
*****

Today's Link-Contemplations of an Ordinary World- What is your goal in life? I know its not to leave Dr. John in the comment but do it anyway, Please.
Another dull day to add to all the other dull days. I blogged a little. There were no soaps. I watched a little TV. I blogged a little more. Pennie is on call and kept getting called to the hospital. Betty and Pennie went to the Bank. I took a nap. I hope this is not causing you too much excitment. Well I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

On Being " RIGHT"

Saying for the day- Sometimes right is wrong.

Since I am now an on again off again candidate for President I have been thinking of what makes it possible for a person to be elected to that high Office.
One would think that we want to elect a man or a woman who would be willing to think through a problem after considering the best possible information and then decide on the best possible decision for the good of the nation. The great Presidents have done that.
But if you think that is the kind of President Americans want you would be wrong. People want a President who thinks right and does what is “right”. Where once we were a pragmatic people now we are an issue oriented people.
So we look for a candidate who is as right as we are. If we believe in abortion then the candidate must. If we don’t believe in abortion then the candidate must be against it. If we believe in gay marriage then the candidate must. If we don’t he shouldn’t. If we think Jesus has a plan for the nation then the candidate should share that plan. WE know what is right and we won’t elect a candidate who is not as right as we are.
This is why I can’t be elected President. On all the big issues I see too much gray and too little black and white. I read the newest material and change my opinion. I have no idea what Jesus wants for the nation except to care for the poor and that desire of Jesus is not popular.
A candidate has to state his right position and then never change it. To change position is to flip flop. If you flip flop the press eats you up. The very characteristic we need in a President that of flexibility is against the rules. You must never change. If you wanted your mother to abort your baby sister because you didn’t want a sibling then you must be in favor of abortion now. The press will play and replay your old statements against your new ones. I would be the flip flop king.
So we will keep getting “right” Presidents and they will be locked into mediocre Presidencies .
The elections will continue to be close because the nation is divided in its “rightness”
. Someday, perhaps, we will elect a candidate because she or he is honest, open to change, caring, and capable of independent thought. But I wouldn’t count on it.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls– The little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and Nancy has a computer.– Nancy looked for “Laughing Lutheran” on the internet last night. She found their website. There she discovered that this Sunday they would be voting on Pastor Marvel to be their head Pastor. Now she was stuck with that information. What should she do. Should she tell people. Shouldn’t she wait and let Pastor Marvel tell them. But he won’t tell them unless he gets voted in. Otherwise it won’t make any difference. He won’t know until after the service on Sunday how the vote went so he couldn’t tell them until the following Sunday. That means she would have to sit on this news for over a week. By then somebody else will have found the website. If she was a reporter she could claim the people’s right to know overrides Pastor Marvel’s needs. But she is not a reporter she is a caring coffee shop owner who likes to gossip. For the moment she has decided to not say anything but a week is a long time for Nancy to hold a secret. Perhaps she will tell Tommy, the writer ( from now on referred to as Tommy TW). When he stops in for his daily coffee and saffron bun.
Pastor Marvel sits this morning in his study at the church. He has been praying that if the vote is positive that God will help him decide if he should take the call. None of this was his desire. He was happy being the Pastor at Last Lutheran ( even if some colleagues made fun of the name). Then the call had come from The Bishop in Florida who had talked to his Bishop. It seems that an old friend of Pastor Marvel belonged to Laughing Lutheran and had convinced people they should consider Pastor Marvel. The Bishop who cares very much about what people want ( at least in churches that give as much to benevolence as Laughing Lutheran) had made the proper contacts. Pastor Marvel felt that this was a chance for an all expense paid Florida vacation ( The congregation even got them passes to Disney World). His wife had always wanted a Florida vacation so he agreed to consider it. When he met the leaders of the congregation, preached his sermon, and ate with the people he discovered that this was a wonderful Christ centered group. He liked the two other pastors. The Bishop was okay as Bishops go. He saw where his talents would fit nicely here. Then he began to think ,maybe , this was a call from God. Pastor Marvel was an old fashioned Pastor who believed that God called you to a parish. He had turned down numerous invitations from his Bishop over the years because he didn’t feel called to those churches. Some of them were very big churches with very large salaries but that didn’t move him. But this was different .So he sits in his study almost praying that he will lose the vote. Then he won’t have to decide. God will have decided for him.
******

http://jeffreyholt.blogspot.com/2007/02/breaking-up-isnt-so-hard-to-do-girls.html
Today's LinkWelcome to Jeffery Holt.com- Some thoughts on Vista and Mircrosoft. Leave the usual Dr. John.
Iy was another dull day. you would think that a potential Presidential candidate would have exciting days. But you would think wrong. I blogged. I watched soap operas. I blogged. Betty went to the Post office. I watched Judge Judy. I blogged. Wow what a day. Well I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

Linna for President

Saying for the Day- Every job need just the right man and every job never gets it.

I’m thinking of running for President. Why, you might ask? Primarily because I have nothing else to do. I am bored. That seems to me to be as good a reason as any. So the question is do I have what it takes for the job?
Well , Let’ s see-
1. I have no experience . Put that on the plus side.
2. I don’t always make sense . That hasn’t stopped anybody else. The press will love quoting me.
3. I stand in the middle of the road. People are tired of conservatives and liberals.
4. I eat rice krispies very morning.
5. I have one wife that I have never cheated on and that I don’t beat.( except at canasta)
6. I had a friend who said I would make a good President. ( If they let him out of the institution he’ll vote for me.)
7. Esther says I’m huggable.( she was always trying to hug me)
8. I know where Iran is. ( that is important)
9. I believe in global warming. That should get me a lot of votes right there.
10. I can talk without really saying anything– But I sound important.
So you see I could be a good President . Well better than some anyway.
The problems are:
1. I don’t have any money. Americans love to vote for people who talk about the poor but not for people who are poor.
2. I have no name recognition. Not many people have heard of the mighty John Linna.
3. People misprounce my name a lot. Particularly tele-marketers .
4. I honestly care about the poor.
5. I don’t lie.
6. I change positions a lot. I listen to people . I rethink where I stand. ( The press kills you for this)
7. I come from a family with a long history of draft dodging. I’m not a veteran.
8. I believe all war is immoral.
9. I think we ought to tax the rich more because having huge amounts of money is immoral when people starve and have no homes.
10. I am a fussy eater. They don’t serve bologna and jam sandwiches at state dinners. I would heave if I had to eat what Presidents eat at foreign dinners.
11. I don’t know the difference between who and whom.
Despite all these problems I was thinking of running but then She who must be obeyed said she isn’t going to run around the country with me. Who will handle my oxygen. I can’t afford a nurse. So I guess I’ll just have to give it up. I could have done it though.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life goes on as normal– First an update on the condition of Reinhild Rintala . He is in stable condition and wants to be out of the hospital for Friday’s game. The doctors say that isn’t going to happen and they aren’t sure he should even listen to it on the radio.
Yesterday was Valentine’s day and Nancy got the most beautiful Valentine from Tommy, the writer ( Tommy, the undertaker’s kid sent Valentines but they weren’t beautiful) She put it up on the bulletin board at the coffee shop. She even made a special valentine’s coffee . It had a bit of a chocolate taste to it. Lovers stopped in had a cup of valentine coffee, a saffron bun shaped like a heart, and stared into each other’s eyes. It was so romantic. Tommy, the undertaker’s kid, who has never been in love says it was rather sickening to look at. Love seems to rob people of their common sense. Tommy UK (undertaker’s kid) liked Nancy better when she didn’t hum a lot , make silly looking buns, and odd tasting coffee. If that’s love he doesn’t want it.
Eino , who is a hopeless romantic got his wife some new bags for the vacuum cleaner for Valentine’s day. He never forgets a special day. On her birthday he gave her an entire carton of laundry soap. Now how many husband’s are that considerate? Of course, inside the carton with the laundry soap were the tickets for those days in New York that she wanted and inside the vacuum cleaner bags was that romantic DVD. He knows how to be practical and romantic at the same time. A wise man that Eino.
******
Today's Link-Blog This- If you can get by the music the question is worth considering- Leave the ususal Dr. John in the comment. When I get to be President you will get your reward.
Better than usual day. I spent the morning reading blogs to find the next link. Then I watched my soaps. Then we went to Best Buy so I could walk. That is one big store. I bought a game for the my PC and a game for Betty. Betty's didn't work we have the wrong kind of graphic board or something. I haven't tried mine yet. I did some blogging but didn't get to every link. Well I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

Fast Forward from Ralph 3

Saying for the day- Some things are too horrible to contemplate like sliding down a razor blade.

Another one of Ralph's forwards being shared with you.

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember ....

1. Jim Baker,Haggard and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house..

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

12. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

13. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.


@@@@-News from Pigeon Falls-the little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and the basketball team keeps winning.-Pigeon Falls has basketball fever. It is something the town has never had before. It is hard to be excited about a team that wins, at the most, only one game in a season. You go to the tournaments knowing your going to lose. You want to believe that you can win but you know you are going to lose. But this year people in Pigeon Falls believe their team can do anything. This is the year in which legends are created. This is the year that will b e the content of stories for years to come. Now basketball is serious business. Small town basketball brings out the best and the worst in people. Last night Reinhild Rintala was screaming at the referees ( which he never did when Pigeon Falls was losing every game) when he fell out of the stands with a heart attack. Old Doc Henery gave him mouth to mouth ( lucky the Doc was still sober after that), got him on oxygen, gave him an aspirin and sent him by ambulance to Iron Mountain. While all this was going on the team won again. The first thing Reinhold asked when he woke up in the hospital room was did the team win. He is a real fan that Reinhold.
Mrs. Trumble says she has the three sets of plans from the architects for the library. There is a set for a new building, a set for a renovation of the old Plow Furniture building, and one for the expansion of Town Hall. The plans will be on display in the Town hall conference room until the next council meeting.
Tommy, the undertaker’s kid, spent some time with Mrs. Trumble on Monday evening. When asked about the visit since she and Tommy are more often antagonists than friends Mrs. Trumble said she wanted his input as a student and a former Mayor as to the new library. The dragon and the White Rabbit never even came up in the conversation. They know what not to talk about.
Nancy has copies of the architect’s drawings and the price tags on display on the bulletin board in the coffee shop. She says she is just doing her community a service.
Eino is wondering why this little town is getting so much federal aid. There was the grant for the railroad and now the grant for the library. Does it have something to do with the “occupation”. Mrs. Trumble says that you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
****

Today's link-The Weak-Minded Pessimist- If what people do with Prophecy annoys you this is the blog for you. Please leave Dr. John in the comment.
Not a bad day today. I did a little blogging then watched my soaps. But then we left the Fortress. We went looking for the DMV and a movie theater. We were armed with maps . We , of course, got lost. It is our nature to get lost. But this was a dry run. Now when we really want to go to a movie or the DMV we know where they are. Then we went to WalMart. It has been so long since I was out that walking was hard for me. I kept running out of breath and had to stop and sit down. But it was good to walk. Then we came home and I did a little more blogging. Not on the edge of your seats exciting day but less dull than usual. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

I am ashamed!

Saying for the day- Look before you leap. Judge not that you be not judged.

I am so ashamed! I went to church last Sunday ( no, I am not ashamed of that) and broke a biblical rule. The rule that says you shall not judge. I broke it and I am ashamed.
Sitting in front of me were four kids that from the back looked liked typical teenagers. There were three boys and a girl. Right a way I assumed they were there because they were relatives of the children being baptized and that their parents made them come. Then came the point where the children’s choir sang. The choir was doing a song with hand motions and one of the teenagers in front of me whispered something to the one next to him ( I assumed it was some snide remark) and then half imitated the motions of the children I was thinking that even if they didn’t want to be there they could show some respect for what was an important time for the children. The song ended and we came to apart in the service where we pass the peace. They turned to face me and then I saw that I was so wrong. These were not typical teenagers. All four of them were retarded. They weren’t making fun of the children they were doing the best they could to be like them. More than that I could see from the look on their faces that they weren’t forced to be there this was where they wanted to be. Their faces were all aglow as they reached out to hug the people around them. I felt so ashamed. When will I learn not to judge others? When?
In the end they are one of the reasons I like this church. There are many retarded people attending. The Pastor seems to know them all by name and they seem to adore him. The congregation seems to welcome them and better yet make them feel welcome. This is a loving congregation.
It is also Ecumenical. I have been there three times, now, and every time there has been an announcement in the bulletin about some event going on at St. Gregrory’s Catholic Church. It reminds me of the old days at United when father Gondeck and I did so many things together.
I think this might just be the church for Betty and I. I might even learn not to judge.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls-The cute little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and the council fights on– The town council met last night. It was a special meeting with only two items on the agenda.
1. Should they add three channels to the town cable and if so who should pay for it.
2. Should they build a library building, buy an old building and renovate, or add on to the town hall with the grant money they have received.
They started with the TV channels and the council broke into three groups. Two who said seven channels is more than enough, two who said add the channels and let the subscribers pay for it, and two who said add the channels and let the town absorb the cost. Mrs. Trumble did the best she could to keep order but tempers flared. People who had come to watch the meeting didn’t help any. Two of them got so involved that they got into a fight and Eino had to remove them from the building. In the end they postponed the decision again. So people in Pigeon Falls will still have seven channels and not one channel more.
Then the library question was on the floor. Council members were already angry and had strong feelings on this issue as well. Some thought they should take advantage of the money and improve the town hall while getting a better library. Some thought that the money was there why not build a building designed just for the library. Some thought they should by an old building and renovate so more money could be used for new books. A representative from the Council On Aging said that the seniors preferred the new building because it could be made fully handicapped accessible. Somebody else said the library was for kids . That touched off a real shouting match. It was finally decided to get estimates on the three projects and then meet next week to consider them again. Small town government is so efficient.
*****

Todays' Link-Papercraft Paradise- Another form of art- Leave the very artistic Dr. John in the comment .Please
Another dull day. I blogged a little. Watched the soaps . Took a nap. Blogged a little more. Watched CSI. Changed over to the new blogger. Betty left the Fortress for the drug store. Pennie was home sick and slept all day. Run of the mill dull day. Now I need a breathing treatment .
GBYA

Risky Comments

Saying for the Day- some risks are worth taking.

It’s leave a comment Monday. That’s when I beg and plead with all you good readers to leave a comment.
Last week in one of the entries on his blog Alastair asked if it was a good thing to ask for comments since there are crazy people out there who wearing the cloak of “anonymous” leave mean and nasty comments.
Now I know those people exist. Everyday as I look for “Today’s Link” I visit many blogs and read many comments. I have seen the nasty things people say. People can use words to hurt and some seem to be very good at it. If you don’t agree with them in matters of religion, politics, economic theory, or food choice down comes the hammer. They will do their best to crush you.
Not only do they make you feel bad but because they are anonymous they bring to your mind your worse stereotypes. You just know that they are loony fundamentalists , loopy liberals, weird conservatives, Bush Birdbrains, or Hillary’s Idiots ( put your own image in this space).
The good news is most of them have found their blog neighborhood and the people they want to torment. They are very happy making the people miserable that they already comment on. Even bad guys have to rest sometime.
Blog neighborhoods like ours don’t attract them because the entries are too varied. One day we might talk politics but the next its about what the cat had for dinner and the vase it broke. How can you leave a nasty comment on that?
In this neighborhood we share hopes, dreams, sorrows, joys, and what it means to be us. We are poor targets .
In the almost two years I have been writing this blog I haven’t had more than five or ten mean comments.( some of those I deserved) A couple of those were from an old guy ( not anonymous) who hates religious people. When I refused to get upset he gave up.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I am going to keep asking for comments because I know there are lots of nice people out there in blog land.
Now be one of those nice people and leave me a nice comment.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls –The little town in my garage where the trains still run , dragons fly, and now and then somebody plays practical jokes.– Poor Jack! Somebody slipped into his Sauna while he was having coffee at Nancy’s and substituted their soap for his. His next customer in the afternoon was fussy old Mavis Rintala. She wasn’t into the sauna more than fifteen minutes when she started to scream. Jack checked on her to find her wrapped in a towel and dyed a bright red. The more she washed the worse it got. The soap seemed to be the problem so Jack gathered up all the soap in her unit and then all the soap in the other units. He gave her some soap he knew to be good and the color dimmed a little but she was still red as an apple. So Jack told her she could have a month of free saunas and he was sure the dye would wear off. One doubts you will see her in public until she is back to normal. Jack is glad she didn’t talk about suing him . Now he has to try figuring out who did this or else remember to lock the door when he goes for coffee. The immediate suspect, of course, is Tommy, the undertaker’s kid. But Tommy denies it and says he didn’t even know there was soap like that. He suggested to Jack that it could have been somebody who didn’t like Mavis. Jack discovered that only the soap in the unit Mavis always used was dye soap so there could be truth to that assumption. Either Tommy is pretty smart or he is the one who put the soap only in Mavis’s unit.
Nancy is doing great business because there are now so many rumors running the town. She has all the usual rumors like who is cheating on who ( or is it whom?) who is getting divorced, who got really drunk last night and fell down the basement stairs, and who is now on a diet. Then she has the special rumors concerning Pastor Marvel. He is leaving. He isn’t leaving. He’s been offered a huge salary to come to Florida. All those rumors. Then there are the rumors about Mavis , now called Mavis the red. The name will stick with her long after the dye wears off. This is a family blog so we can’t repeat those rumors but you can be told they have to do with a certain man who looks like he has red dye on his face and hands ( you can’t see the rest of him). In any case, Nancy has people lined up waiting to get their turn at sharing and receiving information that nobody else has.
******

Today’s Link-Annie Portrhouse.com-What would Jesus drive.That is her question. Please leave the usual Dr. John in the driveway or the comment.
This was another record breaking dull day at the Fortress. My daughter was home sick and slept all day. Betty went out at luch and got soup for her. I blogged, watched soaps, and napped. I don't know if life can get any more exciting. Ah but now I get a breathing treatment.
GBYA

It is Sunday

Saying for the Day-God so loved the world that he gave....

It is Sunday and if you would like to read a very good sermon there is one posted on Alastair’s blog.
It is Sunday and today Andrena , who often comments on this blog, will be ordained into the Lutheran Ministry. If you believe in prayer offer up one for her.
It is Sunday and Betty and I will be attending St. Mark’s which is the closest ELCA church to our home. If you believe in prayer pray for us as we continue our search for a new church home.
It is Sunday and if you pray offer up a prayer for Chana and her ongoing recovery and for Butterfly and James as they approach the end of this part of the adventure.
It is Sunday and if you believe in God take a moment and let the joy and peace of his eternal love fill you.
It is Sunday and if you don’t believe in God it is okay because He still loves you and so do we.

@@@@- News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my garage where trains still run, dragons fly, and today lots of Lutherans are in Church– It is Sunday in Pigeon Falls and more members of Last Lutheran than usual are in Church. This Sunday they are not there because it is between golfing , fishing, and hunting seasons . They are not there because they have nothing else to do. They aren’t even there because their wife made them go. No, today they are in Church for a far higher moral purpose. They have heard that Pastor Marvel is considering leaving and they want to see or hear for themselves. Like the good Christians they are they refuse to just pass along a rumor they have to go and check it out. But this morning they were disappointed because Pastor Marvel said nothing about leaving or not leaving. He just preached his usual good sermon, conducted the usual services, made the usual boring announcements ( you know like the youth will meet, the women will meet, the quitters will meet, the committee to schedule meetings will meet) and that was that. Lutheran protocol frowns on asking the pastor directly if he or she is considering leaving. Aside from that the Pastor can always answer. “ If the Holy Spirit calls me to another parish I am always ready to go.” That way God gets the blame or the credit for what is happening. Some pastors even go so low as to say “ It is all up to the Bishop” as if Bishop’s weren’t to blame for enough things in the church. So the members of Last Lutheran left this morning not knowing any more than they did when they came. But they were reminded how good a preacher Pastor Marvel is and how they would hate to lose him. Of course they didn’t know that since he didn’t have much to prepare this week he borrowed a good part of his sermon from an Episcopal Priest named Alastair , who posts his sermons on his blog. This is not plagiarism it is simply sharing the Word.
Nancy is having dinner today with Tommy, the writer. Actually she is bringing dinner to Tommy, the writer because he is so into his writing at this moment he can’t stop to cook. Nancy is worried about him neglecting his health just to get this novel done. Writers tend to do that you know. They also sometimes cut off an ear because of love. No! that’s artists. They are even stranger than writers.
*****

Today's Link-The Inside First-You hate fake chicken read this- Leave Dr. John in the comment as its as real as it gets.
We went to church at St. Mark's this morning. Thisa may be the church for us. I felt so comfortable . The pastor is not the greatest preacher but he seems to be a great pastor. Then we came home and I spent a dull day with the high point being the Sunday paper. I did visit most of the links on my list. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

It's all about ME!

Saying for the Day-One of the hardest things to do in life is let other people see us as we are.

I know you are all waiting to learn more about me so I borrowed this tag from Margaret who would have tagged me but she knows how much I hate being tagged.
A.Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Santa Claus for Montgomery Ward
2. Deck Hand on an ore boat
3. College math teacher
4. Pot and Pan washer in the seminary kitchen

B.Four Movies I have watched over and over:
1.Wizard of Oz
2.Chronicles of Narnia
3.King of the Cowboys
4.It’s a Wonderful Life

C. Four places I have lived:
Chicago, Illlinois
Trout Creek , Michigan
Ishpeming, Michigan
Ore Boat on the Great Lakes

D. Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Mon k
2. House
3. All My Children
4. Tracks Ahead

E Four places I have been on vacation:
1.Boston, MA
2.Orlando, FL
3. Cedar Point, Ohio
4.Las Vegas, Nevada

F. Four of my favorite foods:
1. Chocolate Chip Cookies
2. Pastie
3. Toasted bologna and jam sandwich
4. Potato Pancakes
5. Saffron buns

7. Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Crystal Falls, Michigan
2. Pigeon Falls
3.In my grandmother’s kitchen eating her saffron buns
4. Disney World

Now you know more about me than my kids do. Aren’t you thrilled?

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls– The little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and the basketball team is winning.– The New Potatoes won again last night. That’s all people can talk about. For the moment it has even pushed the rumor that Pastor Marvel may be leaving into the background. If you go into the Fly Inn you will hear basketball talk. If you go into Nancy’s you will hear basketball talk. If you shop in Wink’s Woods you will hear basketball talk. This is the first time since the consolidated school was formed that they have had a winning team. All the bad things that happened last year. All the weird events no longer count. Pigeon Falls has a basketball team that might go downstate. Nothing excites a small UP town more than a winning team. The New Potatoes are in the act of becoming local legend. How could life be any better than this?
Tommy, the writer, hasn’t been seen for several days. Nancy says he is settling down to write that book. You know “ Murder in a Small Town”. He has decided to make the victim the very popular basketball coach. He has to write while he feels inspired. Nancy, however, feels a little bit left out. She is used to having coffee with him every day. She knows in her head that he has to write when he is inspired but her heart misses him.
Eino is still not sure that Tommy, the writer, is on the level. He is still asking his friend in the FBI to run a background check.Nancy is Eino’s favorite niece and he doesn’t want her hurt. So far, however all the information he has gathered looks good.
Mrs. Trumble announced that’s she has obtained two grants for the library. One from a private foundation and one from the Federal Government. There will be a special council meeting on Tuesday to decide what to do next. The library , now, has only a few books and is in the back of the Town Hall.
Is Tommy, the writer, really a writer? Can the team keep winning? Will Tommy’s book be a best seller? Where is the dragon and the White Rabbit? Is Pastor Marvel really moving to Florida? Can there really be a Laughing Lutheran Church? And of course Is Tommy, the undertaker’s kid really the undertaker’s kid? One of these questions might be answered next week so keep reading.
******

Today's Link-Country Pictures- Photography lovers this is for you- Leave the picturesque Dr. John in the comment. Please!
Had a great day. Got to play with Grandkids. Left the Fortress for lunch ( Not Jam and bologna sandwhichs) Played canasta and Betty and I won. My grandson entertained me with his highly creative imagination. Peter showed me his new poratble with Vista on it but it is way out of my price range. Didn't do much blogging. Well I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

Why ?

Saying for the Day:" After this Pine Valley will never be the same.

Because I went blogging last night I had trouble sleeping. I read a lot of good blogs. They weren’t the problem. I read funny blogs and cute blogs. I read blogs about every day problems. I read a blog about a romance of 5000 years ago complete with a picture. That was good. I read about a miracle that happened to a person who doesn’t believe in miracles and I smiled. But then I read the blog of a lady that I always considered to be a nice person, a bit opinionated , but nice. She decided to insult my faith. She doesn’t believe in the Virgin Birth. That in itself is okay. She is entitled to not believe. I respect that right. There are Christian theologians who don’t believe the story to be litteraly true. If she had said I just can’t believe this Virgin Birth story that would be okay. But she had to do what millions have done before her. She had to retell the story to her liking. She had to take and change Mary from the heroic figure who agrees to be the mother of Jesus knowing that people like my friend will demean her for it. A heroic figure who will stand at the foot of a cross and watch her son die. She has to take that poor w0oman and turn her into a bad little girl who had sex with some guy down the street, or her uncle, or a Roman soldier or whatever. Then this sni9veling pathetic little girl instead of owning up to her sin lies to Joseph and tells him of the visit of an Angel. She is so pathetic old Joe believes her and has a dream. My friend says that since Mary had to have sex with God that some guy out there was God. My friend ends her blog entry by saying that she supposes that some Christian will have to set her straight. As I expected the three comments she had to that point were not from Christians but from “ good for you lady” atheists. One of them even saying that all Christians were dumb and just needed to be educated.( I’ll match my grades at the secular university against his any time). I did not feel a need to straighten her out. I just felt demaned and hurt. Why do those who don’t believe have a need to attack us? I read a lot of blogs and there are a lot of proud atheists out there who don’t spend their time making fun of Christians. But there are some who must attack. They ridicule us and what we believe. I thought I had come to the point where I could just ignore the attacks . I think this one got to me because eI like the lady. She is feisty and a fighter. She seems to have a real concern for people. I don’t think she would tell a racial joke or go out of her way to hurt anybody. So why does she feel a need to smash our stories and dare us to starighten her out? I will continue to read her blog because I know this one blog is not the whole person. But as they say on the soaps “ After this Pine Valley will never be the same again.”

@@@@News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and the coffee at Nancy’s is alwys hot– It’s supposed to get up to 15 degrees today in Pigeon Falls. That’s almost a heat wave for this time of year. In the last few days Nancy has sold a lot of coffee and people wanted their saffron buns warm. Mrs. Marvel stopped in after her return from Disney World and gaveNancy a beautiful English Tea Pot with a dragon on each side. Nancy just loves it as do her tea drinking customers. Sahe loves it so much that she has choosen not to spread the latetest rumor about the marvels. It seems Mrs. Roomstead was in to the shop yesterday and told Nancy that she had a cousin in Florida. This cousin who lives in Orlando has a friend who lives in Kickme and belongs to Laughing Lutheran Church. Laughing Lutheran is without a head pastor but last Sunday a Pastor Marvel preached a trial sermon there. It seems he was from Pigeon Falls and since the cousin had comne from Pigeon Falls the friend askeed her if she knew anything about Pastor Marvel. She in turn called Mrs. Roomstead to see what information she could get. So Nancy knows the Marvel’s may be leaving but she doesn’t want to believe it.
The Marvels have been in Pigeon Falls for so long that people have trouble remembering who was here before them. They are a part of the community. There are all kinds of Marvel stories that people tell. He is liked by many and loved by some. A few will be glad when he is gone. It won’t be long before the entire community knows that he is considering leaving. Indeed they will hear as the story spreads that he is going to leave not that he might. Small town have there own communication sysytem which is fast but not always accurate.
The New Potatoes play tonight. They have now won four in a row. People in town are in shock. The gymn will be full. Where were all those people when the team was losing. Some , of course, were over at the bar fighting over the team name. Some had just given up on basketball. Now there is talk of going all the way downstate. Everybody loves a winner.

Today's Link-What the Blog Do We Know?- Cell Phone lovers this is for you- Leave a Dr. John in the comment-pretend its a text message.
This was another dull day in which I didn't do much other than watch televison and blog. It is still too cold to go out. Tomorrow Peter and family copmes to visit. Betty started another puzzle. We played canasta and Betty won, again. I will sleep well tonight. The person who had me so upset in my blog today sent me an E-mail and said she was sorry that she upset me. She explained the nature of that entry and that she had removed the blog entry in question. As I said I thought she was a kind and caring person and I was right. I hate to think of the number of times in my life I have upset people I cared about without meaning to. I guess if I hadn't seen so many attacks on the faith on the internet I would have ignored it. I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA