If Real Life was a Soap

Saying for the day: Life is stranger than fiction.

If real life was a soap opera it would be scripted much differently and be more fun to watch. Let’s suppose there is a soap opera called “Real Real Life”. One of the main villains is a 39 year old nasty women. We know, but the soap world doesn’t, she killed her last husband who she married for his money. His family has kept her in court preventing her from getting what she really wants. So she has , as any good villain does, taken a number of jobs including TV host. But she has other big plans. She takes a number of lovers and has a very young child which she leaves behind. The child, however is important to the plot. Then suddenly she dies of a drug overdose. Now you and I know because we watch soaps all the time that she isn’t really dead. She got a plastic surgeon, the kind that are always available on the soaps and had the appearance of a friend and her own changed. Then she has one of her thugs, they always have thugs, kill her and make it look like and overdose. She has named her executor who is ,of course, in on the secret. Then she kidnaps another star that she has been altered to look like. She imprisons the star in a log cabin in the hills watched over by another thug. Then she takes her place. This might be noticed so she fakes a breakdown including shaving off all her hair so that nobody knows what to expect from her. Everything is going perfectly except the possible father wants a DNA test so he can get his hands on the money. The test shows the child is not the dead woman’s child or any of the possible fathers. The authorities being stupid think that somebody has substituted a different child. It never occurs to them that what was substituted was the dead woman. The child as all of us know was born after our villain was inseminated with the last of the sperm of Albert Einstein. But there is no Einstein DNA to match it with. The Child , however, has a champion , Detective Paul T. Ducktil of the “We Haven’t Caught One Yet” detective agency. He is on his way to the sperm bank because of a note he found in her papers.. But you and I know that a thug is also on his way. Will our villain ever get caught?
Well that’s the way it would be if Real Life was scripted by the soap writers.
On the other hand real life is pretty weird as it is as our writers would never script in a crying judge.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls– The little town where the trains still run, a dragon flew, and the team keeps winning.-The New Potatoes won again last night. One can remember when they hadn’t won a game and nobody expected them to. But now everybody has begun to think they can’t lose. Kivi and Maki’s have brought in a bunch of those hands that say we are number one. They are selling very well. There were a lot of them at the game last night. When the cheer leaders shout out we are the New Potatoes the very best there are. People join in with enthusiasm. How quickly everything has changed.
There were 14 inches of snow in Pigeon Falls last night or as Mayor Trumble says a light dusting. It certainly didn’t keep the Liar’s Club from it’s Saturday breakfast meeting. The committee on contests reported on plans for the first ever Liar’s Club internet story contest. The topic will be dragons. Entries will be limited to 500 words. Liar’s Club members and residents of Pigeon Falls are excluded from participation as is the entire Linna family. The contest will begin on the second Tuesday in March and run two weeks . Early entries will be received and can be sent to linnajohn@sbcglobal.net. Judging will be by the Liar’s Club. Members of the club have been asked to inform their internet friends of the contest. Because these are to be read in public with children present entries with potty or sex words may be excluded. Buddy East thanked the committee for their hard work. The prize subcommittee will report at the next meeting. In other business the Liar’s Club had to turn down requests for its sixty piece band to play at Dirty River Armory. One of the three members has the flue. Members were reminded that their $8.00 yearly dues were due.
Nancy said that somebody stopped in for coffee this morning and asked where Mrs. Wilson Mcmorison III lived. He said he was a relative and he wanted to stop in and visit her. Nancy gave him the usual Pigeon Falls type directions. You go to the end of town , past Last Lutheran Church then turn onto the first gravel road to the left. Go down past three dirt roads then turn on the first dirt road to the right. That’s where the old Blakmore place was before it burned down. Keep driving until you see a mansion, that isn’t it but your close. The next big house on the right is hers. But she told him he should wait until the plows come through unless he has a four wheel drive. He thanked her and went back to the Fly Inn.
Could this be the long lost Bubster, sometimes spelled Bubbster? Where has he been? Where is that dragon or is fourteen inches of snow too much? What about the White Rabbit ? Did the dragon eat it? Will Tommy Uk ski again? How is Tommy TW ‘s book coming. Hang in there and at least one of these questions will get answered.
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Today's Link-Our New Baby- If you like cute kid pictures here they are. Leave Dr. John in the comment. Please. I know he isn't cute but do it any way.
Had a fairly good night last night. Got up to a blizard. Did a littel blogging. Did a little family research. Pennie was not on call so we played canasta and I won both games. Then I blogged some more. Not the most exciting day but not bad. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA