Thursday, February 09, 2006

Manure on You

Theological University Online
Saying for the Day: It's not what you say but how you say it that counts!
----I have a serious blogging problem.
I can't bring myself to write potty or sex words. You know the one’s that have to do with manure and intercourse (not too sure of that one).
It all stems from a bad childhood. Whenever I got caught using any of those words ( and what kid doesn’t use them?) My mother marched me off to the bathroom and the lava soap. To this day I can’t eat anything that even smells a little like lava soap. I won’t even wash my hands with the stuff.
So when I try to write something like “ what the s…” that taste comes in my mouth and I back off. Now I long ago learned that potty and sex words aren’t swearing only using God’s name in vain is swearing. But that doesn’t help any way because the f…… Lava soap keeps coming back. All over the blog people use those words so freely that I feel like such an idiot putting in f…. Or s…..
To avoid this I have to come up with substitutes like “what in the world” for “ What the f….” . But these just don’t have the same impact on the reader.( Which may be why the they don’t read this blog.)
I mean if I say “ Manure on all you liberals” people scratch their head and think what’s wrong with him. Intercourse that danged lava soap. See that has no impact at all.
What I need is a good psychologist that can help me get over my past. Particularly I need one who knows what Lava soap tastes like. Hey if you don’t like it well manure on you.
@@@ 5400 spins without a win. That means hapless loser won't be on tomorrows list of two or three winners at IWON.com. Not only doesn't he win but Iwon delights in torturing him. They put up signs like " Keep spinning. Don't let $10,000 slip through your fingers. That slippery $10,000 has yet to stick to hapless losers fingers. Or the sign that say "Keep spinning. Don't let somebody else get your prize." Ha, somebody else gets hapless loser's prizes every day. In fact hapless loser may have spun his last spin. Tune in again tomorrow to "As the World Spins" (Not nominated for an early morning Emmy" *****
The ELCA still hasn't called. My sister thinks I should call them again. But they said they would call back and if you can't trust the national church who can you trust?
Well we tore down the HO mountain we were building and started over. I built a new but very light wood under structure that would give us access to the track. Betty than began building the mountain using a new technique she read about using paste and cloth strips. We'll see tomorrow how well it worked because it needs all night to dry.
While Betty pasted I made valentine's for all the grand kids and Pennie. They are a work of art. My creativity was interrupted by some lady who wanted to sell me something. I cut her off and told her I had a chair for sale . She said she didn't need a chair and I said I don't need what your selling. I hate telephone sales . They are so intrusive.
Well the ELCA still hasn't called. I suppose I will have to call them tomorrow and I hate it. I will have to go through the whole stupid process again. If I could afford to throw away $ 4000 I would forget it.
Betty went and got the mail. Lots of stuff to throw away. One letter from the state of Michigan that tells us because we imported our special bathtub from outside the state of Michigan we owe the state $328 in sales tax. That one I wish I could throw away but I'm to old for jail and sure can't afford a fine.
It is ELCW night so Betty will be gone ( if she can get the paste off her hands) and my breathing treatment will be late.
GBYA

4 Comments:

Blogger Peter said...

I once used the word "crap' and now the person I said it to never lets me forget it and thinks I say it all the time. ...Lori

11:17 AM  
Blogger Bubbster said...

What on earth happend to the blog I use to read?

2:10 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Manure on you.. hmm, that's actually pretty funny!

I got my mouth washed out when I was a kid, but it (obviously) didn't affect me. Maybe it's because my mome used Dove.

2:26 PM  
Blogger Pennie said...

Dad,

So if soap worked for you why did you tell me that I would be struck by lighting. That worked for awhile. I think because you never used them I just didn't hear them everyday. I do know. Sometimes I hear kids use only swear words to express entire story.

5:54 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home