Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Fast Forward from Ralph

Saying for the day- Cold is a relative term . My relatives are really cold.

This is a slightly altered e-mail forward from my friend Ralph.

Temperature -Yooper style

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in The UP plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Crystal Falls sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in The UP drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Hancock gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in The UP throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in The UP have the last cookout before it gets cold.

People in Miami all die.
The Yoopers close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in The UP get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in The UP are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in The UP let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
The Yoopers get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in The UP start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
The UP public schools will open 2 hours late

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls– The little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and it is cold– It was 30 below zero yesterday in Pigeon Falls. The milk train came in late as some of the farmers had trouble with milking equipment freeze ups. The consolidated school and the grade school both closed. Tommy, the undertaker’s kid, is afraid that if the dragon hasn’t already died from the cold this is going to kill him. Mrs. Trumble said she hopes so. It certainly is colder than where those two demons came from.
The cold doesn’t seem to bother Nancy. She still looks like she is floating on a cloud. Of course, in this weather if people do go out they have to stop and warm up over a good cup of coffee. Tommy, the writer, stops in to the coffee shop often and one doesn’t think for a moment that it’s the saffron buns that bring him back. Although he has developed a real liking for them.
One of the water pipes at Jack’s Sauna froze and burst during the night. The mess was sort of pretty to look at . There were icicles in all kinds of shapes . Jack is a take charge kind of guy and heated up the sauna then did some plumbing. By noon he was back in business. He did a lot of business because the sauna was a good place to get the –30 degree chill out of your bones.
Eino said he doesn’t mind the –30 degree temperature but all those kids playing in front of his garage was a bit distracting. With school being closed because of the cold you would think they would stay in the house.
One of the snowmobilers had to be rushed to Marquette with severe frostbite. The Doc said he will be lucky if he doesn’t lose part of his nose and a piece of an ear not to mention a couple of toes. One knows they hauled that vehicle all the way from lower Michigan and they want to use it but there is such a thing as common sense. On the other hand that may not apply to all snowmobilers.

Today's link-Contemplations of an Ordinary World - So what are you reading? Leave the usual Dr. John to be read in the comment.
Slept well last night but didn't feel very good today. I had a hard time breathing so I got almost nothing done. Betty feels sick too. It may be the next stage of whatever it is we have. Now I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger Janvangogh said...

I experienced -30 the first year we moved up near Duluth. Went out to the grocery store and it was open.

6:12 AM  
Blogger Catch said...

Our schools have had delays or cancellations all week. Some Churches have not been having services b/c of the cold. I even closed my bedroom window!!!! You know its cold!!!

6:53 AM  
Blogger The Old Fart said...

This would be Paradise to a Canadian

Thanks for Sharing

7:29 AM  
Blogger ArtsyTartsyViray said...


I don't think us California folk handle cold weather very well..

I know I don't..

Funny entry today..

7:30 AM  
Blogger Lori's Minute said...

I would like to add from my own experience;

15 below - the people in Miami move back to Cuba
15 below- my hubby in Green Bay finally puts on a shirt in the house.

7:50 AM  
Blogger Margaret said...

Global warming. What 'ya gonna do? I'm amazed after moving from NJ to GA how heavily dressed some people are in the winter. Scarves, gloves, hats when it's practically springtime outside. To me anyway.

However, in the summertime - I am the one who is dressing warmly. They FREEZE you to pieces with their Air Conditioning down here. I love going outside just to warm up.

Hey Dr. John? Are you going to do a Liar's Club Day? I need a subject to focus on Thursday or Friday for blog material. Something like "To Tell the Truth" gameshow. I tell an experience or story and commenters write in to guess if the posted experience/story is true or false.

I'm going to try something tomorrow and see how it goes.

8:01 AM  
Blogger Sunflower Optimism said...

I would NEVER make it as a Yooper. Not even close. It's 70 above zero in my house (my dear husband raised the temp from 68 because he'd call from work and my teeth would be chattering as I talked.) I'm wearing a sweater and I'm still cold!

I won't be visiting The Fortress anytime soon!

9:16 AM  
Blogger Cindy said...

reminded me of Aunt Lucille (long gone now) who would visit from Florida in the summer. She would put her sweater back on at 70 degrees outside. We would be running around in shorts and tees getting ready to head to the creek for a swim.

11:12 AM  
Blogger QUASAR9 said...

and more lol

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in The UP get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in The UP are selling cookies door to door.

and lol again

11:27 AM  
Blogger Alastair said...

It's cold here, for a change...

relatively speaking of course (-5c)

ha ha, great post.

3:44 PM  
Anonymous Stacy said...

You win the cold contest, but that's one contest I NEVER want to win.

4:34 PM  
Blogger Chana said...

so sorry that you are worst today and that Betty is now sick. that is awful news. i do hope that things start turning soon.

just wanted to give you the heads up about the next few days..i go for eye surgery and so it may a few days until i can blog again..last time i was about 2 wks without sight but it should go better this time..not scared so don't worry..i want you to concentrate on getting better.

much love and many hugs to you and Betty and all the family too. best wishes for healthier days to all of you and i'll be thinking of you and missing you..until soon..

they have not finished with the basement but now all the black mold has been removed, thank God! my lungs will now do better and everyone's immune will be better too. they promise to stay until 10 pm tomorrow if that is what it takes to finish but either way, the end is near. they have been wonderful and it is a blessing that this major, major work has been done..a true miracle story for a couple of reasons that i can't wait to share with you...

did i mention i will miss you guys again for a bit? take care, no more sickies and know i'll be counting the seconds to read your blog again.


5:12 PM  
Blogger FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

I have never experienced that kind of cold. We have been having cold weather too over here but the coldest we had so far was 16 deg. cent. We are starting to feel the warm season already.
Thanks for dropping by.

5:34 PM  
Anonymous Quilly said...

Hey, Dr. John, I went and had a pulminary function test the other day and I made it to the top of the scale! First time in seven years. Yay me! That exercise is paying off!

7:46 PM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

I get excited when it is "cold outside" at 69 degrees here in San Diego.

8:21 PM  
Blogger Miss 1999 said...

*LOL* I'm cracking up, that was a good one! Down here, in the South, our county schools have been out of school all week long, they MIGHT go to school tomorrow, still not sure though *L*

8:46 PM  
Blogger butterflies said...

HI Dr John...thankyou SO much for the saffron buns and the moose:) Mr moose is now in bed with James and hes cuddly and soft.
I hope that you are feeling better.Im praying for you and Betty.
Breathe easy.

9:45 PM  
Blogger Tina said...

You are right, John. Cold IS a relative term. Out here in California, people whine when it dips below 50 degrees. When I lived in Colorado, that was T-shirt weather. Strange, isn't it? By the way, hope you feel better soon .. Betty, too.

11:54 PM  

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