Something Weird from a Perfectly Normal Person

Saying for the Day- Someday I will find a normal person.

Elsie didn’t know since she hasn’t been reading my blog very long that the only thing I hate worse than tomatoes is being tagged.
It wrecks my whole day.
But I will be a good sport and do half of her tag.
The half I won’t do is to tag six others.
That would make me a tag hypocrite.
If you want to tell six weird things about yourself feel free.

This was a hard tag because I am so hopelessly normal.
If you look in a psychology book you will find a picture of me as an example of normal.
So I spent a good day racking my brain in the normal fashion to come up with something to put here.
I even stopped people in the grocery store and asked what was weird about me.
It was weird because they backed away and pushed their carts extra fast down the aisle.
Some people just won’t help a guy in need.
Because I must this is the list I came up with.

1. My left leg is fatter than my right leg. That’s because when I was younger I had a lot of skin infections on that leg. As soon as I figure out how I am going to put it on a diet.

2. I am the last of the ultra conservative liberals or the ultra liberal conservatives. We are a vanishing breed as people line up in camps and throw rocks at each other. Because I am in the middle I get hit with a lot of rocks.

3. I am sixty seven years old and do not have a single tooth left. My father lost all of his teeth before he was fifty. My six year old grand son has already had extensive dental work. One of my sons was pushed into bankruptcy by $40,000 in dental bills and no dental insurance. We have bad tooth genes.

4. I am sixty seven years old and my wife combs my hair before we go any place. She is never satisfied with my hair. The weird thing is I let her. She does control my oxygen.

5. I wear my clerics (you know the shirt that makes me look like a Catholic Priest) every Sunday even though I am retired. I don’t feel right without them after all those years. My wife has suggested I should have the white collar tattooed on my neck but I am afraid of the needle.

6. I have a very very sensitive nose. I can not wear a half face breathing mask for more than two nights before the pain becomes unbearable. Therefore I had to pay extra for mask that covers my full face and doesn’t touch my nose. I look like Darth Vader with a transparent mask. I wanted to paint it black so it would really look like something out of star wars but she who must be obeyed said no. I was going to post a picture of me in the mask but Betty said it would scare little children and this is a family blog ( most of the time).

7. ( a free one) I think there is a little town in my garage and I talk to the people in it. But then doesn’t everybody?

There you have them. You can see from the list there is nothing really weird about me.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and the answers raise more questions– Eino spent most of yesterday going over what Tommy said to him and last night he asked Tommy, the undertaker’s kid, to stop at the garage tonight. He has an alternate theory that he thinks explains everything as well as Tommy’s. His theory like Tommy’s depends on seeing the government, in military matters, as being deceptive even resorting to lies. It does not explain the dragon or the White Rabbit which Eino sees as separate problems.
Lori Fortress is still working on the logo for the New Potatoes. People are beginning to think that the team is on its way.
Mrs. Marvel was in to Nancy’s coffee shop and told Nancy she has never been to Disney World or Disney Land and so is really looking forward to this vacation. They fly out of Iron Mountain tomorrow. She told Nancy she would bring back a real English teapot if the English section has one. Perhaps she can get some English Tea.
Tommy, the undertaker’s kid, says its not fair that the adults get to go to Disney World and escape the cold but the kids are stuck until school lets out or there is a break. On the other hand Tommy loves the snow and all that allows him to do like sledding and skiing.
Emily Benson lost two toes yesterday. She went to plow her walk with the snowblower and it picked up something so the blades stopped turning. She tried to kick it out when they started again. Wham two toes gone. Well not gone. Old Doc Henery sewed them in place and sent her to the hospital in Iron Mountain.
By some miracle they took but she won’t be able to bend them. She has learned a valuable lesson. It is always better to get somebody else to plow your walk.
*****

Today's Link-Wiping up Snot since 2000- Not just another mommy blog- Leave the words Dr. John in the comment and muddy the waters.
In the morning I had no logo but it wasn't bloggers fault. It was the fault of my website that I pay for. I store all my pictures there. It was down. It came up about two hours after it went down. Today Betty and I made Chcolate Covered Cherry Cookies from a murder mystery book. they turned ouit great. Then my doctor's office called. It seems the doctor didn't like something he saw in my bllod tests so they wanted me to come and get more blood drawn. I know they just needed more blood for thje resident vampire. So I went and gave. I hope there is nothing new wrong. I have enough old wrong already. Well I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA