Thursday, January 11, 2007

Linna's Shopping Law VII

Saying for the day: A woman was born to shop and a man was born to wait.

Its time for another Linna’s Law of Shopping.
VII. A woman can not take just a moment in a store to get one item and come right back to the car.
Before you call me a male chauvinist pig who longs for the days of the patriarchy when men thought they were in control let me tell you this law is based on careful scientific research and a depth of personal experience.
Run this little experiment.
Look over the parking lot of any super store and see how many men are sitting in their cars waiting.
Now come back a half hour later and see how many of them are still there and you’ll see what I mean.
The other day we went with our daughter Pennie to Office Max.
On the way she wanted to stop at Sam’s Club.
“ I am just getting one item. I’ll be right back. You don’t need to come with me.”
So we waited and we waited.
My beard grew and my oxygen tank was almost empty.
If we had had a cell phone we would have called 911 and reported an alien abduction.
Then she comes pushing a cart so filled that she can hardly see where she was going.
“ When I got inside I remembered a few other things”, she said.

Yesterday we went to Menard’s to pick up a bolt for her saw.
She dropped the original inside when they were putting it together.
She had the size and the part number.
It should be a quick in and out.
I knew better.
Linna’s law was about to be tested by fire and I had a lasix hit so I went in with them.
After leaving the rest room I went directly to the nuts and bolts section expecting to find them there.
But they were nowhere in the area.
I checked the car they hadn’t yet returned.
So I did an aisle sweep.
Then I saw my daughter’s coat in the power tool section.
She and my wife were looking for a shop vac ( which she doesn’t have) attachment for her new saw so she can keep the saw dust in her work room down.
They were trying to match the number from the book with the numbers on the attachments.
I asked if they had asked a clerk ( of course not and they pick on us men because we won’t ask directions on a trip).
So I stopped one and told him they needed help.
It was that or spend the rest of the day there.
It seems that the part they wanted wasn’t in stock and had to be ordered out.
Which she did.
Then we picked up the bolts and checked out.
The time for a quick pick up some bolts was over an hour.
Don’t tell me Linna’s law VII doesn’t apply.

@@@@- News from Pigeon Falls– the little town in my garage where the trains still run and dragons fly– Nancy said that Tommy ( That’s Thomas M. Bradley IV our local resident writer) has invited her to dinner on Sunday to pay her back for all the help she has given him. She thinks she will accept the invitation because she has always wanted to see the inside of the old Hermit house. In the meantime Tommy has discovered the Liar’s club. He is listening to their old stories which they have on tape. It has given him another way to see the town through the eyes and imagination of others.
It snowed yesterday in Pigeon Falls. It was not a heavy snow, certainly not a blizzard, just a light dusting. But it made things feel right. It is January and there should be snow. Over at the Fly-Inn they have been having arguments about the lack of snow. Some blame global warming and George Bush for causing it or at least for doing nothing about it. The one token Republican says that global warming is nonsense. The planet warmed and cooled before with no people to blame. Its just the way things are and you can’t change them. They almost got into a fist fight over the issue. One of the more sober patrons stepped in and got them calmed down. The he got them talking about the New Potatoes, That’s a topic they all agree on. The school sports name has to be changed. Of course last week they had a fight over what it should be changed to. Somebody suggested “ The Savages” which upset Harold Hillman who is part Indian. He suggested instead the “Evil Finns” or the “Viscous Swedes”. That’s when the fight started. Hillman managed to give somebody a black eye before having both of them thrown out. Life is pretty normal in Pigeon Falls.

Today's link-Peace Ripples- A bit of wisdom for the day- Please remember to put the words Dr. John in the comment so I know you used the link.
WE WILL PHASE OUT THE jcpoints AS OF Sunday. Check HERE for yours and HERE for what you can still get with them.
I didn't do much today. I visited every one of my links and left a comment wherever there was a entry I hadn't commented on before. ( Pat me on the back) Now I need a breathing treatment. ( See how dull life is here)


Blogger QuillDancer said...

Dr. John -- I am female. I do not like shopping. My ex-husband used to be able to spend hours in a store. Explain that.

6:39 AM  
Anonymous janvangogh said...

Linna's law. We have that same one here. So is it the guy waiting in the car that makes the woman stay in the store longer, or is it that the guy hasnt learned Linna's law yet? Hmmmmm?

7:05 AM  
Blogger ArtsyTartsyViray said...

Yes.. you caught me... I also make my man suffer through Linna's Law.. I can't help it.

I've tried to be "a woman on a mission" and stay focused.. but man.. they can really make their merchandise appealing..

Must... stay.. focused... on.. that... one.. item... but.. can't... look... away...

I think I need blinders.. hahaha..

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Stacy said...

My husband would agree with you whole-heartedly on the shopping thing...until he gets to the tool dept. at Sears or one of the big home improvement places. Then he can wander the isles as long as any woman.

Could it be that the lack of snow is related to whatever mysterious things have been going on in Pigeon Falls?

7:51 AM  
Blogger Mimi said...

I can run in and out quick if need be. But when not in a hurry I am bad if I am shopping for makeup, clothes, or anything else that is not food. I will go back and forth over what I want.

9:50 AM  
Blogger Bella said...

Oh my gosh! I am just laughing uncontrollably!!!!!

I did that to Bello last night. I told him that I needed to get some hand soap for the bathrooms and kitchen. That's it.

$100 later and a basket full walking out of the store.

"You said you were only getting soap!"

"I know but I saw these cute Valentine's stuff and I had to look."

"And I see you bought it all!"

"That's right!"

11:37 AM  
Blogger Margaret said...

"But it's free. But it's free. But it's free."

Blogger just ate my comment! I forgot what I was saying and now am experiencing an urgent lasix hit.

1:32 PM  
Blogger Josie said...

When I was a kid I used to go shopping with my mom and dad. My dad and I would wait in the car while my mom did her shopping. To pass the time my dad and I would people watch, and create stories about the folks who walked by. To this day that is one of my favorite things to do, people watch and create stories about people. It's more fun than shopping.


2:50 PM  
Blogger Catch said...

I cannot run into a store and get one thing and come back out..I just cant do it. I have to sweep the aisles..and Sams club...I could spend 2 or 3 hours in there! I love to go through every I figure its good exercise!! lol

3:48 PM  
Blogger Cindy said...

I am a female too and I despise shopping. I only do it when it is necessary and then very reluctantly.

My post today is about our Senate wanting to pass a bill that would keep organizations like the AFA from getting information into our hands that might inspire us to write or call said Senators in protest. Please stop by and take aciton on this important issue. The AFA has a great track record for turning things like this around but they can only do so when we all join their efforts. Thanks for your help!

4:35 PM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

That made me laugh so hard. That is my mother ALL OVER! I am a little better than her. Dan gets steamed when I fiddle around in a store while he is waiting. I'm good to that man. LOL. My mom will go to the grocery store and be gone 3 hours. It is amazing.

4:50 PM  
Blogger Happy and Blue 2 said...

Women. Can't live with them. Well I don't seem to be able to..

5:09 PM  
Blogger The Old Fart said...

I enjoyed your post today, I got to admit you have courage to write what you did. I hear what you are saying, I remember long ago Mum Dad my sister Edie and I were visiting friends in Sydney, Nova Scotia.

We made the mistake of going to shop at K-Mart and their $1.44 days. I think it is the last time my Dad went shopping.

Thanks for the memory

7:14 PM  

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