Forgive Yourself

Saying for the day: It is hard to forgive yourself because you know you are guilty.

I’m going to end this Sunday chat on forgivness with one of the hardest acts of forgiving there is. That is forgiving oneself.
The simple truth is that if you don’t forgive yourself you will have real trouble forgiving others.
If I feel guilty and somebody says something that hits right where the guilt is I get angry as a defense.
Once I’m angry I can’t forgive what I think they did because to do so might say to me that I am guilty and I don’t want to hear that.

This kind of behavior is very noticeable in the grieving experience.
I feel guilty because I didn’t make them go to the hospital , or because I shouldn’t have allowed them to drive.
The guilt leads to anger and the family comes apart.

I need to forgive myself.

How do I do that?

Let’s start by dividing the guilt into two groups.
These are real and possible.
Real guilt comes from insulting Aunt Martha or leaving the pan on the stove until it catches fire. I really did something I shouldn’t have.
To forgive myself I need to say I am sorry to the person that was hurt by my action.
I need to do something positive to clear the air.
As I handle the reason for the guilt I begin to forgive myself.

If the guilt is possible like something I should have done.
Then I need to think through if I could have really done it.
If the husband wouldn’t go to the doctor then his wife doesn’t have to feel guilty for not forcing him.
The fault was his and not hers.
There is a lot of guilt that we carry that makes no sense when we look closely at it.
Thus self forgivness begins to break in.

For the Christian the fact that God forgives us helps us to forgive ourselves.
If God still loves us after all that we think we have been then we can forgive and love us too.

Forgivness of yourself or others sets you free to live.

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News from Pigeon Falls– the little town in my garage where the trains still run and kids run the town– Tommy is starting to discover what it is like to be a Mayor. The city needs a new snowplow. One of the salesmen stopped in and took Tommy out to supper. He provided a brochure of his line of trucks. Then he told Tommy that he really thought it was great that he was doing this job as young as he was. He said he’d like to give Tommy something as reward for serving. He asked Tommy what he wanted. Tommy almost said a new wagon but then he thought he would owe the man a favor. He didn’t want to do that since he and the council had to decide on a snowplow on the plows merits and not because they liked the salesperson. He told the man thank you but he didn’t need anything. He also told him he hoped that the company would give the town a good price. He made himself a note to talk to the council about getting sealed bids on a truck. They would have the man from maintenance draw up the requirements and then open inform the companies what they wanted and let them bid. This by the way is not how the last truck was purchased. It was bought from a friend of Eino. Tommy is really trying hard.
Mrs. Trumble is trying hard as well. She has her recall petition all drafted and is now trying to get people to sign it. So far she has only two signatures including hers. She tried to get Nancy to put one in the coffee shop for people to sign but Nancy refused. She said that people had a chance to get adults in the job and they refused to run so she is giving the kids a chance. The White Rabbit was seen out near Mrs. Trumble’s house but she did not go after it with her shotgun. It looks like she will live by the law as long as it’s the law.
The snow has the deer hunters excited. So far there is a nice layer of tracking snow if it only lasts until the season starts. They are a little worried about getting too much snow. Its one thing to track but quite another to be up to your kneees in snow. Hunting deer on snowshoes is no fun.
In church this morning Pastor Marvel said that the Church needs another liturgical season. Along with Advent and Lent there should be a deer season. It would be marked by Exodus Sunday when the men skip church to go to their camps and end with the Sunday of the Return. This is the Sunday when they tell their hunting stories at the church coffee.
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Well know blizard last night but at 3:00 I got a cramp in the leg that caused me to wake up and sit up. My arm caught the oxygen hose and it came loose. The alarm went off. In the dark I couldn't find it. Betty got up and turned on the light. The hose had fallen behind the stand and she had to get down on her knees to recover it. All the while the alarm is going off. But once it was put back we both went back to sleep. Never a dull moment at the Fortress.
We went to church in Stambaugh today. We had expected to be gone before they changed the closing date and I didn't want to see the people I said goodby to last Sunday. Aside from that my protege, Jack, was preaching in Stambaugh. He stopped by the house to let me hear the sermon and I wanted to hear it preached with a congregation. He did a good job. In teh afternoon Betty began loading the car for our Tuesday trip. So many things to do. So much to put in order before we go. Well I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA