Saturday, February 07, 2009

Raven's Challenge 49

Today's Link
Granny on the Web

Saying For the Day
Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours. ~Swedish Proverb

Picture of the Day

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle

This Week's 10 Word Challenge: author, Wall Street, rage, lemons, channel changer, cookies and milk, candelabra, Pine Cone Motel, illusory, fluffer-doodle.
And the mini challenge: war, wooden shoes, flabbergast, chimera, vodka martini

The Mega Challenge in the
Ongoing Adventures of Agent 012
Agent 012 sat in his cold London hotel room and remembered better days. Once he stayed at the Pine Cone Motel in Fluffer-Doodle, New Jersey. Aside from the fact that it was a rather smelly place it at least had a pool. Here he had four walls and ugly curtains and that was it. Oh!for the good old days.
Soon he would be looking for leads to the two old people that had used him to help rob the Royal Museum of a priceless artifact. But first he scanned the London Times to see what was happening in the world.
Wall Street was still being blamed for everything wrong with America.
Chimera, an Irish group in wooden shoes was playing at the Blitz Ritz
A University study showed some channel changers could cause cancer of the fingers.
Another house fire was caused by yet another unbalanced candelabra.
The author of “Flabbergast Rage” was writing a new expose book.
The War in Iraq was winding down.
Agent 012 put the paper down. Nothing had changed much over night.
Sometimes , he thought, all change is illusory, like using the channel changer to go from one channel to another but the set remains the same.
So it was back to work chasing the often illusory couple that had tricked him into helping them rob the Royal Museum of a priceless artifact. He had a picture from the surveillance camera that he showed up and down the street next to the Post Office with very mixed results. One man thought that the woman in the picture was the same woman that insisted on wearing wooden shows even when they were no longer the rage but even if it was true it was of little real help. Another thought the man looked just like Sir Edward Malarky , author of the book “ War of the Wall Street Chimera” and editor of the weekly television magazine “ Channel Changer”. But that , of course, was nonsense. But Agent 012 continued to search despite the bad identifications, stopping only for occasional cookies and milk to calm his very upset stomach.
But then it happened. One minute Agent 012 was knocking, picture in hand, on the doors of homes in a set of row houses, the next Matthew answered the door and invited him in.
“ We never got to really thank you for the help you gave us at the museum “, he said.” Martha, is just now cutting some lemons for tea.
“But dear . I think he would prefer a vodka martini.” All those spy types do you know.” hollered Martha.
Looking around Agent 012 found himself flabbergast for there on the table was the missing artifact and a golden candelabra , obviously stolen.
“Beautiful! Aren't they? We were just packing them up to send to Mute headquarters when you interrupted“ Matthew said. “Now we‘ll have to stop and kill you. Then we‘ll put your body with the others. You’re a little long for the space we have so we might have to cut off your head. Could I give you another Vodka Martini? “.
“ Do you know what a fluffer-doddle is ? “ asked agent 012.
“ You American have such an aversion to bodily functions that you can’t even call a fart a fart..” said Matthew condescendingly.
Suddenly Agent 012 put his hand to his face and the room filled with gas. “ Wrong answer! In this case fluffer-doddle is spy talk for knockout gas.”
Then Agent 012 called Scotland Yard . They came and picked up Matthew and Martha.
It had really been his day.

All fifteen words in one sentence
Edward Chimera the author of “ The Great Wall Street War and Other Illusory Fluffer-doodles ” sat in the Pine Cone Motel where having kicked off his all the rage wooden shoes he was throwing lemons, cookies and milk, a candelabra, and even his vodka martini at the television as he was so flabbergasted that the commentator would dare pan his book and he had no channel changer within reach.
The Ten Word Challenge
Fluffer-doodle, fluffer-doodle, fluffer-doodle, they came, one after the other. They were definitely not illusory but the real thing. He was so embarrassed. Now he no longer stayed at the Hilton on Wall Street as he had for years. No! now he stayed at the Pine Cone Motel way out in the boon docks.. Once he had turned heads in the best restaurants because of how he looked and the way he carried himself. Heads still turned but now they were looking for the source of the horrible noise and that nauseating odor. Fluffer-doodle, fluffer-doodle, fluffer-doodle, it just never stopped. Here he was a best selling author but he couldn’t even do interviews. The person at home could escape the noise with a channel changer but the poor person doing the interview became violently ill. Fluffer-doodle, fluffer-doodle, fluffer-doodle, fluffer-doodle, on and on and on. Inside he was filled with rage at what his own body was doing to him.He had gone to a specialist who told him to cut out the cookies and milk at night and substitute cut lemons and tea. All that did was make the odor ten times more sour. Fluffer-doodle, fluffer-doodle, fluffer-do. He sat down upon the candlelabra and for a short time it stopped. The fire marshal is still trying to determine the cause of the explosion that leveled the Pine Cone Motel and surrounding area. It had sounded like the world’s loudest fart and the odor was horrible.

The Mini Challenge
From the time Timothy was born his parents suspected there was something a bit odd about him. First of all his head was slightly odd shaped, not terribly odd shaped but slightly. The Doctor said it was “ within acceptable parameters” so they tried to ignore it. Then there was the crying. Timothy cried in two different voices. It was weird , just plain weird. As he grew he was not like their other two children. It was as if he had to learn everything twice. It just made no sense.
When he he was old enough and went to school his teachers said it was like having two different students named Timothy. One day he was eager to learn, helpful, friendly and just a joy to teach. Another he was sullen, unteachable, nasty and just a pain.
So they took him to the specialists , who ran all kinds of tests. The end result was the discovery that Timothy was a true chimera. He had two separate brains. Each brain was capable of controlling his body and each brain seemingly wanted to. It was if the brains were at war with each other.
His parents flabbergasted by the news wanted to know how this was possible. It seems that Timothy had started off to be identical twins but in the dividing something went wrong and the two brains were the result.
Despite the fact that they came from the same egg the two brains could not have been more different. One loved the feel of wooden shoes. The other hated them. One loved a vodka martini in the evening the other drank beer. One loved red while the other loved green.
For twenty six years this had gone on. Neither brain would agree to surgery for fear that it would be the brain that got cut off. But Timothy couldn’t go to college, couldn’t hold a job, couldn’t get married although each brain was in love with a different woman. He was doomed to live a life of couldn’ts.
Then Dr. Michael Fluffer-Doodle the world famous psychologist came along . He was known for his ability to integrate multiple personalities. He got both brains working together as if they were one brain. The war was over and a new era in Timothy’s head had begun. He discovered that his mind with two brains working was like a super computer . He became rich beyond his wildest dreams. He scoured the world until he found the one woman who also had two brains. After her integration they had a child.
It had four brains, a true chimera.

This week’s vanity wordzzle: Napoleon, Zeus, underpants, Madonna, cellulite, 47 flavors, Arnold Schwartzennager, Barbara Walters, "Don't come near me or I'll call the police," power

Arnold Schwartzennager announced this morning that he was taking a break from being governor to play Napoleon Zeus, a lovable gangster in Madonna's new movie, " Underpants in 47 Flavors". He will try to work off some of the cellulite he has built up during his term as governor. He said " I have to be in this movie because it is the only one where my character gets to say ' Don't come near me or I'll call the police," to Barbara Walters. He will, however, continue to exercise the power of the governors office while on the set.

News from Pigeon Falls

The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal.
It is Saturday and time to look back over the week in Pigeon Falls.
Tuesday– Mayor Trumble, ignoring her own cuts and bruises declared the day Herman Halverson Day.
Herman got to ride down main street in a pickup truck just like a Wall Street ticker parade. She presented Herman with a little golden pigeon the Pigeon Falls equivalent of the key to the city , three silver lemons, and a three day vacation at the Pine Cone Motel in Marquette with its great indoor pool and giant candelabra. The demon war of rage was over and Herman was the author of the town’s victory..
Looking down the street Mrs. Trumble had trouble believing that what she was seeing was not illusory.
Somehow , during the night everything had been restored to normal. The street was no longer melted, the street lights were back, and even Wayne Korhonen’s old truck looked just as it did before the battle.It was if someone with a magic channel changer and control had rewound things to the way they were before the battle.
There was a funny moment when little Toivo Erickson looked up from his cookies and milk and said “ He doesn’t look like Superman . He looks like an old fluffer-doodle.
Wednesday-Herman and wife left for Marquette.
Thursday-Petrovich who had been flabbergasted by the last few days events sat in his study with a dry vodka martini and tried to decide if Herman was a chimera.
Friday– Wink’s Woods received a load of wooden shoes that were supposed to come n July. Now all they were good for were fire starters.
Wrap UP
Another great day. My oxygen was not as high as yesterday but still in the low normal range. The tempature almost reached 50. Wow. Life is good. I went shopping with Betty and Pennie. We went to Circuit City and American. Then we ate at I-Hop. Now they have taken the dog to get her toenails clipped . I have been reading wordzzles. Now I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger Akelamalu said...

LOL fluffer-doodle - knockout gas - aint that the truth! Oh very well written - all of it Dr. John - I loved it!

3:08 AM  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Well done, Dr. J.

3:40 AM  
Blogger bettygram said...

I am so happy that agent012 got those thieves.

5:10 AM  
Blogger Lori's Minute said...

Glad you got out of the house...I do not like getting my hair cut either. I appreciate the daily pictures.

7:10 AM  
Blogger The Crazy Object B. said...

Alex and I want a rematch!!!!!!!!

7:39 AM  
Blogger Gattina said...

Now I wonder if I am not a female Timothy ? I am sure Mr. Gattino has his doubts too !

7:44 AM  
Blogger Finding Pam said...

I applaud you for your outstanding efforts in this weeks writing challenge. Your brain is so creative and I loved all the stories, especially the ten word challenge and how you used all the words in Pigeon Falls. So that is why Herman is so special, he is a chimera.

You and Mrs. Betty have a good weekend.

7:44 AM  
Anonymous quilly said...

Hand clapping and cheering! As usual, I loved your Wordzzles, especially Arnold's reason for taking the movie!

9:56 AM  
Blogger Raven said...

So many wonderful offerings to enjoy as always. I'm so glad Agent 012 had a good day. Poor guy has so few of them, though he does always come out on top in the end. Mini challenge was fascinating. One sentence great... All great. I'm going to wait to read what you wrote for Quilly's project until I write my own.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

Congrats to 012. He finally got his man and woman. What's next?


12:37 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

Dr. J, I am too busy laughing to decide which story I liked best. They are just all really great. Well done!

3:28 PM  
Blogger PS (PSanafter-thought) said...

Gosh, would we ever be peaceful and skinny if we followed that quote.

3:33 PM  
Blogger Alastair said...

love the stories, and am repeatedly amazed how you get your mind around Raven's challenges, glad you are feeling better, glad Pigeon falls is better and really liked your opening statement for today - sensible Swedes! Thanks for a great end to my day, Dr John!

4:15 PM  
Blogger Lu' said...

Those were all good :) I think Madonna would love that title for a movie.

4:36 PM  
Blogger Russell said...

I'm always amazed at what you can do with a miscellaneous assortment of words! And then when you put them in one sentence, well, that is incredible!

Our business law textbook discusses illusory promises - such as the boss promising a bonus in the future that is not really legally binding (though I always wonder how any person could promise a bonus and not keep his word - people could get a bit upset!).

My students who are 18 to 20 years old do not know what illusory means, they do not look up the word in their glossary or a dictionary and they really don't care - which is a most interesting statement of our society! I suppose all young people in that age bracket have many other things on their mind! I am sure I did, too - so I need to remember that!

Take care.

5:29 PM  

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