Saturday, January 31, 2009

Raven's Challenge 48

Today's link
Emerald Eyes

Saying for the Day
Many books require no thought from those who read them, and for a very simple reason. They made no such demand upon those who wrote them. ~Charles Caleb Colton

Picture of the Day
Betty and her biological Mother
She died when Betty was very young.

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle

This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: snow and ice, vegetarian chili, pampered kitty, anthropology, do you own a home, coronation, you can change the world, hideous curtains, stammering, premonitions
Mini Challenge: Is there a doctor in the house, blowing in the breeze, shadows, comedian, sleeping disorder
The Mega Challenge in the
On Going Adventures of Agent 012

Poor Agent 012 wasn’t sleeping well. In fact he had hardly slept at all since he helped the old couple steal the million dollar artifact. He was becoming afraid that he had a sleeping disorder. The room he was staying in as he tried to pick up the trail of these clever crooks didn’t help either. It had hideous curtains that didn’t even match. One had a picture of a big fat pampered kitty and the other just snow and ice.
Both were badly faded and were constantly blowing in the breeze that came through the hole on the window frame and cast strange shadows on the far wall. On that wall hung a picture of a long dead comedian who used to ask “ Is there a doctor in the house” a lot. It would be hard for anybody to sleep in that room.
He just wanted to give up but he could still hear his grandfather saying “ You can change the world”. Remembering that always lifted his spirits. So he decided to go over to the Stammering Bulldog for something to eat. Looking at the menu he ordered the vegetarian chili , which was odd because he doesn’t like vegetarian chili or any kind of chili for that matter. But then this was England, land of coronations and Stonehenge anthropology and his premonitions told him he might like the chili here. They were wrong, as usual.
By this time Agent 012 had moved from depressed mode to Agent mode and was ready to go to work finding the couple. Because they were old and walking he figured they must live within ten blocks of the post office. He didn’t know if they owned a house or were renting.” Do you own a home” had never come up in their conversation. He would have to go to the museum and look at the security footage. If he could find a picture of them he could provide it to the local police and he could use it to question people around the Post Office. He was beginning to feel good again.
Maybe the day wouldn’t be so bad after all.
All fifteen words in one sentence
Tom , you can change the world , Brice who played a stammering comedian with a sleeping disorder in the play “ Is There a Doctor in the House” finished his bowl of vegetarian chili, put down his “Little Book of Anthropology and Premonitions”, and with his coat blowing in the breeze crossed the snow and ice to the Pampered Kitty Auditorium where the hideous curtains cast weird shadows upon the coronation scene and his next line was “ doo yoou oown your oown hoome”.

Ten Word Challenge
Elli Stokaviytch finished his vegetarian chili and put his pampered kitty back on her pillow. Then he turned his attention to the brochure that had come in today’s mail.
“Do you own a home?” it asked in great big letters.
“ Then you can change the world and we will help you.” it went on.
This was not a mortgage company. It was a quick cash company.
You signed an agreement making your house theirs if you didn’t pay them back in three months.
They didn’t check your credit rating they wanted it to be bad.
They just wanted to hold the deed and for you to fail to pay them.
These people would go to a coronation with the hope of getting the castle.
Just the kind of people he was looking for Elli thought as he started to practice his stammering.
Two hours later having gone through the snow and ice he was in their office with his big book of anthropology on his lap. Looking around he wondered if all of these places got their hideous curtains from the same place.
Then he stammered into his routine. He had premonitions or visions that lead him to an area near this town. He was sure that the anthropological find of the century was buried there. He just needed a little more money to complete the dig, about ten thousand dollars. He would be rich and famous when he finished.
He put down the deed . But then he pretended to have second thoughts. He couldn’t lose the house. It had come to him from his mother. It had been in the family forever.
They hastened to assure him that he would have no trouble paying them back and suggested that maybe fifteen thousand might help to get the job done quicker.
At that point he reluctantly took the check and thanked them.
He went straight to the bank and cashed it.
Going back to the room he picked up pampered kitty and said “ Time to move on lovely. Daddy’s finished here.
He put all his fake deeds and house pictures back into the folder, loaded everything in the van, and away they went.
It’s so easy to scam a scammer, he thought.

The Mini Challenge
Is there a doctor in the house?
This was the one hundred and twenty third time I heard that question while lying on the floor.
I’m a comedian and this was part of the act.
Now the old man with the fake hair blowing in the breeze would rush to the stage. He would listen to my heart and say that I have a bad sleeping disorder. Then he pulls out an alarm clock and when the alarm goes off I jump up. It really is funny.
But tonight I won’t be jumping up. Tonight I need a real doctor. Tonight I can see the dark shadows of death coming. They won’t know until the alarm goes off and I don’t jump up.
I wonder if they will cry out “ Is there a doctor in the house”.
I hope they do and I hope there is.

This week’s vanity wordzzle: feathered dream-catcher, silence, sea wrack, total, absolute, dolphin, eerie, living room, magisterial, bird feeder, munitions dump, God-jar


Military jargon is a strange thing. Here are some examples:
A feathered dream-catcher = a long range rocket capable of killing thousands while they sleep.
A God-jar = the room where prisoners are kept and tortured.
Bird feeder = Guns capable of shooting down planes.
Dolphin Sea Wrack = Large submarine
Magisterial living room = Headquarters of opposing army
Absolute Total Silence = Nobody left alive
Now isn't that eerie. O! For the days when a munitions dump was called a munitions dump and not a central stove.

News from Pigeon Falls
The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal.
It is Saturday and time to look back over the week in Pigeon Falls.
Monday– Jon Bergals family held a big party in honor of Jon’s receiving his Ph.D. in Bovine Management from Michigan State University. His final paper was on sleeping disorders in large cattle herds. His youngest son, always a comedian, said “ Now we can holler ’ Is there a doctor in the house’ and get a yes answer.”
The party went on pass the time when the laundry hanging on the line and blowing in the breeze began to cast strange shadows upon the house.
Tuesday– The Morrison family, the one with the pampered kitty, watched an old English coronation on PBS. They are one of the very few families in Pigeon Falls that watch PBS. Their motto is “ You can change the world”. One of the friends said “ I don’t know about the world but they should at least change those hideous curtains they have in the living room.” But those curtains were a gift they got for contributing to PBS. They would never part with them.
Frank Morrison says they can make fun of him if they want but he used to stammer and then he started eating vegetarian chili and his stammering was cured. So you see you can change the world. His study of cultural anthropology has convinced him that large scale change always begins with just one person often with strong premonitions of the way things could be.
Wednesday– The Way Back Realty Company started its new campaign with the slogan “ Do you own a home? You should! “ Their add which ran in the paper in Detroit, Chicago, and Milwaukee listed the values of home ownership. It also pointed out you could buy a nice home in Pigeon Falls for half the price of one in the city. The add didn’t mention driblets, dragons, or snow and ice.

Wrap UP
Slep well. Oxygen was a bit better. Today mu whole family was here to celebrate Peter's birthday so I didn't get much time on the computer. My grandkids used it most of the day. I did post the Sunad Bulletin on the St. Mark's website and visit some of the wordzzle sites. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA
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13 Comments:

Blogger Carver said...

I love the shot of Betty and her mother. Good job with the word challenges.

5:28 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

Oh YAY for 012! He's back on track! (loved how you used so many of the words up in those curtains! GREAT thinking!)

Loved the scammer! Saw it coming - but loved it anyway!

Interesting form on the Vanity... creative usage!

UGH! The realtor who ran that ad should be SHOT! HALF PRICE sale in Pigeon Falls! They are going to be drowning in riff-raff before long! Well, maybe the dragons will TOAST them when they come into town! Orrrrr... perhaps Oops will just oops them!

7:52 AM  
Blogger Russell said...

Well, again you have captured my deepest respect and admiration with your ability to take a group of miscellaneous words and use them effectively in a story! Goodness!

I was completely stumped by sea wrack and God jar!!

Congratulations! again for turning the impossible into an entertaining and innovative completed feat!! (I am walking away shaking my head in complete astonishment!!)

Take care.

8:51 AM  
Blogger Raven said...

You are in awesome form this week! Well, especially awesome form... you are always really good at this. Each one I read was my favorite. I'm with Melli on how clever you were to use up so many words on the curtains with agent 012. I thought what you did with the vanity was profound. Well done all around.

9:02 AM  
Blogger The Old Fart said...

Bravo Dr John ~ one of the best yet with 012. You should write a book, I think it would work.

Blessings to you and Betty.

PS, my answers are up on the blog to Quilly's questions.

9:38 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

Of course I am a follower of 012, but this week the scammer story was my favorite.

12:04 PM  
Blogger Catch said...

what a precious pic of Betty and her Mother!! I bet it means so much to her!!!

12:29 PM  
Blogger holly said...

i loved the scammer one, but the in-one-sentence one blew me away. nicely done!

12:32 PM  
Blogger Cherie said...

Oxygen up, a birthday party, and grandkids. Sounds like a good day! :)

5:28 PM  
Blogger Carletta said...

Good day for Agent 012!
Your challenges are always well done but I marvel each week at the words in one sentence - amazing.

I must agree with everyone else - very clever vanity.

5:44 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

Oh, Dr. J, you are quite the story teller. Wow! They are all really great. If I had to pick a favorite it would be the one about Elli Stokaviytch, and how he scammed the scammers. Thankfully, I don't have to pick a favorite, so I can just like them all... lol.

Thanks for the visits you make to my place. :o)

10:54 PM  
Blogger juliana said...

ha, these were great again!
and it just feels so right when a scammer gets scammed ;)

8:42 AM  
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