An Old Me

Saying for the day: It is so comic to hear oneself called old, even at ninety I suppose!Alice James:

I found this as I was looking for a Link but I can’t remember where I found it. I must be getting old.
Old Person’s Meme
12 old Questions
1. Is you hair gray and do you dye it?
No it’s still as brown as ever and just as curly.

2. Do you have your own teeth?
Yes. They are not original but they are mine. I paid for them.

3. Do you wear glasses.
Of course.

4. Do you have a hearing aid.
Yes but it doesn’t work that well and cost a lot.

5. Have you had any parts removed or replaced?
NO. Except for my adenoids and that was a long time ago.

6. Are you active in any kind of team sports?
No! I never was. Too fat when young. Too slow when old.

7. Do you go to Florida in the winter?
No! Too hard to haul all my equipment. I have to breathe you know.

8. What do you like least about being old?
Having to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.

9. Do you live near your children?
Yes! Sometimes almost too close. But it is good to be near them.

10. How many pills do you take a day?
Eleven counting my vitamin pill.

11. Are you afraid of death?
Not mine but the idea of somebody I love dying scares me..

12. Looking back on life are you satisfied or would you make major changes?
I would go to the doctor sooner and more often but otherwise everything was perfect.

####News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is just a little strange. It looks as if General Fredrick R. Bosley’s special equipment began arriving this morning. The helicopter was seen on the opposite end of town from the tree lowering huge crates and two people. Apparently it took until late afternoon to get the crates opened and the equipment assembled. But at around four o’clock two men in lab coats pushed this huge machine on wheels up to the tree. Across the top of the machine was the label “ Property Homeland Security”. The soldiers were asked to move back for their own safety. The men announced they would be making three tests and they would take over an hour. During that time not a single person should be allowed into the area.
The machine had a monitor like a computer. It had a keyboard ,three gages, and a slot where a three inch printout emerged. The first test to be run according to the operators was to check for radio waves coming from the box. He typed something into the keyboard and the monitor and one gage came to life. Numbers flashed on the screen and a map with red spots. Then a 3 1/2’” printout covered with numbers and symbols emerged from the slot. The operator kept shaking his head and looking very upset. He kept mumbling something like “ not good! Not good!”
Suddenly he tore off the printout, folded it and placed it in a box.
“Now we are going to check for radiation“ ,He said. Suddenly the machine began to click. A number appeared on the screen and kept going up. The dial on one of the gauges moved steadily toward the top and then the paper came covered with numbers and symbols. Again the operator mumbled “ Not good, not safe”. Then he ripped off the paper , showed it to his partner, pointed to something in the middle, and folded it and put it in the box.
“ Finally, and this is the most dangerous because we could blow up the town, we are checking for explosives. We are going to seal the hole and carefully put instruments around the box that will sniff for explosives. It needs to be quiet. We mustn’t make one mistake and hit the box.“
The machine began to whir and a huge rubber tube encased the outside of the hole. Then one could hear things being extended. Again the screen came to life. Types of explosives flashed across the screen. Another gage had its dial move toward the top. Again our operator muttered something about “ Not good, going to get us all blown up”. The printout with its numbers and symbols emerged was read and boxed.
“Now we have to remove the machine without blowing up the town.”. One could hear the instruments being pulled back, then the tube was removed from the tree. One of the soldiers asked” What did you discover?”
“ I’m sorry! But this information is now classified. The data has been sent to Homeland Security and is available only on a need to know basis and you don’t need to know. In fact we will shred and burn all the paper in the box. Further we were never here. We did not run these tests. You will forget you ever saw us for the good of the nation. But I will tell you this I wouldn’t stand too near that tree if I were you and I would never, never look directly into that hole without shielded glasses.”
Then they left with the equipment.
******

Today's Link:My Senior Citizen Humor Blog- If you don't enjoy getting old you can at least laugh at it.
I intended to build the ramps for the elevated part of the layout today but I never made it to the basement. The secretary from the Church sent me the Church Messenger for the Website and I spent part of the time getting that done. Then I visited all my links and took care of some other computer problems. So the ramp is still not built. Perhaps tomorrow. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA