Friday, February 01, 2008

I am ruined

Saying for the day: Sometimes doing the right thing is a bad thing.

I am broken, beaten, obliterated, destroyed. I am so depressed that if I had a four story house I would leap from the top floor to my demise on the cruel rocks below. If I owned a gun I would shoot myself. It’s all because of yesterday.
Yesterday I did what good neighbors do. I visited my friends blogs. I wanted to observe what was happening in their magnificent worlds. Everything was fine until I got to Nessa’s blog. There on the side was a little picture of a brain that said “ This blog’s reading level: Genius”
So I thought. If her blog reads at a genius level mine must read at something above genius. After all everyday I spend hours crafting each sentence. I select just the right words. I place them in just the right place. I intend for this blog to be known forever as the standard setter for blogs. It was to assure my place in blog history.
So I went to this place that rates blogs. I entered my url and I waited. Then back came the evaluation. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
This blog reads at the level of elementary school, it said. My precious, philosophical, theological blog reads at the level of Elementary School. So you can see why I am depressed.
I checked Betty’s blog and she at least made it to High School. So I am even more depressed.
Thank you Nessa.

News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is just a little strange. Eino’s friend at Homeland Security says the generals are really putting pressure on the President to allow them to drop an Atomic bomb on Pigeon Falls. Their argument is that the only thing preventing the trees from spreading out is that it is winter. Once the ground thaws they will spread in every direction. They figure the trees can spread at about fifteen miles a day and so in a month the Upper Peninsula will be solid trees as well as part of Wisconsin and Minnesota. After two months they will reach Canada. If we don’t get them now there will be no stopping them and the President will go down as the one who allowed the country to be destroyed. The President wants to know where they got these figures from. Are they from the same people who were sure there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? He needs more convincing evidence.
Tommy UK has convinced Charlie that it is okay in fact it is a good thing for him to open the box. So he, Mrs. Hansen, Charlie, Eino, Old Doc Simpson, and a few others have gathered at the tree. Tommy UK has pointed out the box to Charlie but Charlie has been just standing there for the longest time.
“Are you sure I should open the box?” he finally asks.
“ Nobody else can, Charlie. It has to be you.”
“ Why me?”
“Because you are pure of heart”.
“What is that?”
“ It means your heart is clean”.
“ I take a bath every day. Is that why?”
“ Charlie , just believe me only you can open the box”.
Charlie reaches his hand into the hole and ….
Are we really going to make you wait until tomorrow to see if Charlie is a hero or laid out on the ground unconscious? Will we need a brass band or the Doctor? If he does open the box then what? Will we ever know if Tommy UK is really the undertaker’s kid?
Today's Link-Deeper Shades of Red- The best Thursday Thirteen List ever.
A fairly nice day. Breathing was good and I didn't need the little tank. In the morning I got the Church website straightened out. Then I spent most of the afternoon setting it up. It is at . It is not done but now I need pictures and information from the secretary.
Well I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger Janvangogh said...

I wonder if the box contains Tommy UK's family tree.

5:48 AM  
Blogger butterflies said...

Oh Im not even going to try it..I sure dont need anything to depress me and make me feel less than genius..LOL
Have a good weekend Dr John.

7:00 AM  
Blogger The Old Fart said...

I wouldn't be too worried, these online surveys are not what they are cracked up to be.

A Blessed Weekend is wished for you and Betty.

8:49 AM  
Blogger QUASAR9 said...

lol Dt John,
the good thing about days light that, is that things can only get better.

I'm looking up

nope, no grand pianos dropping out of the sky today. So here's wishing you a mighty fine Friday, Saturday & Sunday.

2:02 PM  
Blogger The Crazy Object B. said...

Hi go to my bfor a great laugh!

6:05 PM  
Anonymous quilly said...

But Dr. John, your reading level makes your blog accessible to your grandchildren.

6:30 PM  
Blogger Nessa said...

Step back from the edge, Dr. John. Ice cream makes all things better.

I think the trees just want a hug.

3:10 AM  

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