Monday, August 17, 2009

I have Survived

I have survived.
My family has gone home.
Time to begin cleaning up the mess.

Yesterday was wonderful.
Two of my three children and all my grandchildren were in Church with us.
Now that is wonderful.
One of my grandsons, Elijah put on the dog suit and was part of the children’s sermon. And Alex had a part in the skit.
After Church my grandkids helped clean up the stuff left from VBS.
I was very proud of them.

When we got back to the house my other son and his wife was there so my entire immediate family was together.
How great is that?
We even had two tables of Canasta. Betty and I defeated Lori and Pat ,and Alex and Bree defeated Cutis and Pennie.

It was sad when they all had to leave.
The poor dog really misses them.

I, on the other hand might not have survived another week.
My parenting skills are rusty.
For example I forgot the second rule in the “ Sane Parents Handbook” which as I remember npw was in bold print and underlined. It read:
Never, Never, ask why.
I came into the study and found two of the boys banging my $50 monopod against the wooden handle taken from a toilet plunger.
“ What are you doingwith my monopod?””, I asked .
“ Sword fighting” they answered.
Then I made the mistake I said “ WHY are you doing that with my monopod?”
The reaction was immediate.
Two sets of eyes glazed over, chins dropped, and the response came.
“ I don know.” in the most pathetic voice.
Nor did they know how it got from the car to the study. It probably floated in.
They did know it was a good sword.
That’s when I remembered what I learned as a parent.
They don’t think like an adult.
An adult makes decisions. We ask what is right or wrong about the action. Then we decide if it is worth doing. We have a WHY.
But kids don’t think. They do. Let’s sword fight. There is no decision making process. There is just no WHY.
They just do it.
So when you ask WHY they are stumped.
They don’t have an answer.
This then upsets the adult. Hence the rule, “Never, never ask why”. If you do you will be upset. Trust me.

I was glad we had three of them all week but Pennie might have chosen a better time to be laid up. I was glad to have all five for three days.
I am really glad they have all left.


Blogger anthonynorth said...

That's an important rule any parent should know. My Dearest and I had 7 kids, so I definitely learnt it.
It's great to have the whole family around you. Mine are quite dispersed nowadays and it's been many years since the WHOLE family has been together.
I miss that.

2:26 AM  
Anonymous quilly said...

I know you had a wonderful time and you wouldn't have it any other way. Now, rest up. They'll be back soon!

2:26 AM  
Blogger Russell said...

Sounds like you had quite a week! But, yes, it is always good to get back to normal.

I remember listening to a man talk one time about how children are not miniature adults and how their thinking process is so much different than adults. Just like you said. It is very true.

If anyone ever doubts it, just go back to the house you grew up in (if it still exists!) and walk around the yard. Remember how BIG it seemed to you as a child?!

I remember looking UP at a peony bush and climbing UP onto the swings...! (Well, okay, I guess I still climb up on swing sets but let's not get into that...!!)

3:53 AM  
Blogger Dulce said...

You really love your messy ones. Aren't you going to miss them a lot?

4:37 AM  
Blogger Akelamalu said...

That's one of the good things about grandkids - you can really enjoy them, then send them home! LOL

5:30 AM  
Blogger Mama Zen said...

"Never ask why" is an excellent rule!

6:01 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

ROFL! I know EXACTLY how you feel! And yet... I continue to submit myself to their company! Even AGAIN today! What is WRONG with me??? LOL! Akelamalu said it! I know in two more days they go home... and then I won't see them again for who knows how long! It had been 4 YEARS since I last saw them... *sigh*

I'm sO glad that you ENJOYED them while they were with you -- and that you now enjoy them being gone!

6:01 AM  
Blogger Sandi McBride said...

Ah grandchildren...the best part of the visit is the nap afterward...enjoy!

6:13 AM  
Blogger Jeni said...

I can relate to your dilemma with the kids doing things, getting into stuff, etc., but no one ever knows how these things got where they shouldn't be either. That was the way things were with my kids when they were growing up and it must be a genetic trait as I see it occurs -frequently -with the grandkids now too. This old house is almost always in a state of messiness because my daughter and I are both a bit on the "pack-ratty" side and also, with a 6-year-old and 3-year-old who call it home too, well -same dilemma as you had exists here -all the time!
But I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world and I'm betting that you're still pretty happy to have had the family all together for a while too -mess and all!

7:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thoughtful observation.
Family & Kids - The best always.
WE should try to find out the lost kid within ourself.

8:55 AM  
Blogger Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Families are the best....messes and all!

8:57 AM  
Blogger aims said...

I think you win the Patient Parent and Grandparent award.

9:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like the grandsons have been visiting Pigeon Falls with the monopod. LOL. I would have never thought about any of this until I read it here. Excellent advice and great rule. I'm going to remember this one. :) I think your going to miss them and can't wait to have them back, but a little rest in between makes you revitalize and ready for the next round. You are a great Dad and Grandfather I can tell. It's so wonderful to share moments when you are proud of our kids :) Aloha

11:16 AM  
Blogger Nessa said...

I'm glad you had them all. I am glad you survived. I am glad you get some quiet now :)

2:02 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Oh Dr. John I totally understand " The Peace " that follows the departure!

5:20 PM  
Blogger Friko said...

Dr John, you are a very fortunate man. If only I could be friends with all of my family as you are. I haven't played Canasta for decades; the family broke up for many reasons, mainly because nobody really cared enough to keep it going. And I now don't know how to start setting things right.

It is the middle of the night here in the UK, I can't sleep, just must be the reason for coming right out and telling you. I am often so very sad about it all.

Came to you via Napple notes.

5:27 PM  
Blogger Gattina said...

Family is nice to have but it's nice too when they leave and everything turns back to normal, lol ! When my son comes, it's like a thunderstorm going through the house, the phone rings non stop, there is always somebody showing up and I feel like in a central station !
I always asked why, just to hear the answer and it's always very logical. Why did you put rocks on the rails ? Answer : to stop the train.
Why did you break all these little windows with a stick ? answer: it made such a nice sound.

11:03 PM  
Blogger boots said...

those are the best days EVER!!! we use to tell our kids to stop running and they would slow down to like a skip! And think they had stopped running LOL

7:00 PM  
Blogger Jenifer said...

Yes, it is always good to get back to normal.

Home Security Systems no CREDIT CHECK everyone is approved

1:56 AM  

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