Saturday, February 14, 2009

Raven's Challenge 50

Today's Link
The View From the Pond

Saying for the Day
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. ~Henry Ford

Picture of the Day
My Valentine Gift to Beauty

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle

This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: ubiquitous, do you see what I see, getting a word in edgewise, wild goose chase, grandmother of five, Freemasons, Pacific Paradise, everything and nothing, insanity prevails

Mini Challenge: shortening the distance, it’s all about bloggers, the Fortress at Pigeon Falls, finding Pam, a raven’s nest
The Mega Challenge as
The Adventures of Agent 012

On the plane back from London Agent 012 thought about the little old lady who was going to kill him and bury him in the basement. She was a grandmother of five and he wondered if any of the grandchildren were following in her footsteps. There were those families, he knew, in which this kind of insanity prevails. But he doubted he’d ever find out.
Back at headquarters Agent 012 was given a commendation and a new assignment. In the entire process he gave up even the thought of getting a word in edgewise with the Chief. He was to go to the Fortress at Pigeon Falls one of those ubiquitous casinos with mythical names that seemed to be springing up everywhere.
This Casino was only thirty miles from headquarters and as expected owned and operated by Indians but rumor had it that the Freemasons had put a lot of money into it. The place must have had two designers because on the outside it looked like a Fortress but on the inside like a Pacific Paradise.
In any case the national “ It’s All About Bloggers” convention was being held there in the Everything and Nothing room.
The Agency had information that Mute was attempting to recruit bloggers and a gathering like this was a way of shortening the distance to find them. Agent 012’s contact was someone named Pam that he would see near the million dollar slot machine. There were the usual opening identity statements.
He was to say “Do you see what I see?”
The Agent would answer “ A raven‘s nest.“
He hated doing this but it was part of his job. So here he was at the Casino going about the task of finding Pam. He hoped it wasn’t a wild goose chase. He had done enough of those.
He approached the first woman he saw near the million dollar slot machine.
“Excuse me! But do you see what I see?” he said. She slapped him.
Three ladies and two slaps later he still hadn’t found Pam. That’s when the guy approached him and said “ a raven’s nest.”
Agent 012 said “ Do you see what I see? Wait! Isn’t that backwards. Your supposed to wait for my line and then you give yours. This is so confusing”.
Peter Pam shrugged and handed him an envelope and a bag. In the envelope was everything that Agent 012 needed for the conference. There were his conference credentials, information on his supposed blog “ Lost and Found in Cyber Space” and general information on blogging. There were also two pictures of the Mute agents that were expected to be at the conference. In the bag was a hat with the name of his supposed blog on it. Now he was a blogger.
This could be an interesting day.

The Ten Word Challenge
Nancy Gordiane the ubiquitous grandmother of five sponsered by the Freemasons was about to be shot out of a canon across Pacific Paradise Lake as part of the Valentine’s Day Insanity Prevails Festival when the sheriff arrived.
“I can not allow this to continue” he said then launched into a diatribe that left no opportunity of their getting a word in edgewise. Basically he had a court order forbidding them from firing a woman out of a canon.
Harold Dragonstone, the director of the festival said “ You’re here on a wild goose chase. We had no intention of firing a woman out of a canon.
“ Oh Yeah! Do you see what I see?” the sheriff asked pointing at the canon.
“ That looks like a canon but is really a super tanner”. Harold replied. “ Come and I’ll demonstrate.
The sheriff slid into the canon like object. Harold pulled a lever and the Sheriff shot out over the lake.
“ The order forbade the shooting out of a woman but didn’t say anything about Sheriffs, Harold Pointed Out.
“So in the end the Court order is everything and nothing meaning wise.”

The Mini Challenge
Looking through the telescope in the tower at the Fortress in Pigeon Falls Harry could see a Raven’s nest in a tree five miles away. He could see the individual tents set up by the speaker’s stand for the “ It’s All About Bloggers” conference.What he could not see was Pam. His task was finding Pam and this was not helping in the least. Pam was the blogger that had discovered a mathematical formula shortening the distance between two points that did not involve a straight line. Within that formula was the possibility of instant travel from one point to another. Every University in the country wanted her as a faculty member both for the prestige and the federal grants she could generate. Every University recruiter in the country would be at that convention.
Harry was not a recruiter he was a paid killer hired by a travel agency. Her formula was as threat to the entire travel business from airlines to busses to travel agencies. She had to die and her secret had to die with her.
In a few moments she would walk out onto the stage to extol the virtues of blogging. Then he would have a clear shot.
They had hired him because he alone could shoot from this distance and hit the target right on. He had a special rifle, special ammunition, and a special talent. He had done it many times before. He knew his job.
Now she stood at the microphone. He looked at her through his telescopic sight.
Then it happened. Why , we don’t’ know . But it did.
He couldn’t shoot.
He saw her face and it was love at first sight. But then it was Valentine’s Day.
All the words in one sentence
Nellie Freemasons, grandmother of five, from the Pacific Paradise Town of Shark Hill sat with that ubiquitous list of blogs ready to be delivered to the Fortress at Pigeon Falls and hoping her effort to find the perfect blog had not ended up as a wild goose chase for the list included ; Insanity Prevails, Finding Pam, A Raven’s Nest, Every Thing and Nothing, Getting a Word in Edgewise, Shortening the Distance, Do You See What I See, and Its All About Bloggers which was as good a group of bloggers as you could find.

News from Pigeon Falls
The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal.
It is Saturday and time to look back at the week in Pigeon Falls.

Monday– The Freemasons met and voted to repaint the Masonic Building which was beginning to look a little drab. George Watkins wanted to paint it Pacific Paradise blue but was voted down. Scott Aho who always has trouble getting a word in edgewise managed to suggest a dark green. They decided to gather some paint samples and meet again next Monday. This despite the fact that Waldo Kempainen said that going after more samples was something of a wild goose chase.

Tuesday-Bonnie McGregor , grandmother of five, and now the mother of twins had a week in which she proclaimed “ In this house insanity prevails”. The twins have reached that ubiquitous throwing stage. The kitchen looks like a war zone with baby food and cereal everywhere. Mr. McGregor tried to calm her by saying that things weren’t that bad. But she responded by saying “ Do you see what I see?” pointing to the wall.
Then he pointed out that though they now threw everything and nothing seemed to stop them they soon would move on to the walking and tipping stage.Further he was going to get her a catcher’s mitt for Valentine's Day.
Poor Bonnie wondered if that was supposed to cheer her up.

Wednesday-Nancy Maki discovered that the map she got from Google for the drive to her mother’s houses resulted in shortening the distance by ten miles. As an added bonus the new route takes her by a raven’s nest and Finding Pam , the best restaurant in the county for low calorie food. She was so glad that she learned about Google maps from her good friend at “It’s All About Bloggers” .

Thursday– Some guy came in on the milk train and wanted to know where the fortress at Pigeon Falls was. It seems he read about it on a blog. They had to explain to him that though Dr. Fortress , the CEO of the Moneypit Railroad had a house in Pigeon Falls there was no fortress as such. He was very disappointed.

Wrap UP
We were wrong. Friday the 13th isn't the bad day. Saturday the 14th is. My oxygen was down today, I gagged on my big pill, we went to Old Country Buffet for breakfast and I almost choked on a piece of bacon. In the same place I ran my knee into a post on my scooter. Then when we got to Bed, Bath and Beyond what I wanted for Betty turned out to cost $ 150 and didn't raise the right kind of tomatoes. We went to the big bookstore and I couldn't remember either the author or the name of the book I was looking for. There I ran the other knee into a book rack.
My nice yard , where I could see Spring coming was replaced by new snow. I was so glad to get home. Then I had to work with a committee of my dragons who insisted that I give them some blog space for an award I couldn't win or they would burn my toast every morning.
So I gave them some space right after this entry. Tomorrow it will move to right above this entry.
My new thing for my old computer is not working well because the old computer doesn't have enough of some kind of memory. I read all the wordzzle blogs and they were all better than mine.
Give me Friday the 13th . Now I need a breathing trewatment.


Blogger jinksy said...

Peter Pam... What more could one ask of an alternative Valentine Day than to be confronted with such a one? Hoots of laughter at such a tale.

3:14 AM  
Blogger Akelamalu said...

Well you certainly made the most of all the words Dr. John - great stuff. :)

3:37 AM  
Blogger tsduff said...

I would be terribly disappointed to find out that there isn't any Fortress too. I think I'll just stay home and read about it, thus never so greatly crushed.

5:42 AM  
Blogger Raven said...

Wonderful as always! I think my favorite was the love at first sight one, but they Agent 012 always steals my heart too.

9:15 AM  
Blogger Finding Pam said...

You are so prolific today. I would love to be inside your mind for a day. I bet it is pretty interesing inside your head!

Lovely rose plant and Kisses for your Valentine. You are so kind.

I laughed at the supper tanner!

Love and blessings.

9:41 AM  
Blogger Carletta said...

LOVED the Agent 012 story and the way you tied all those phrases in. I smiled all the way through the story.
The mini challenge followed through and that 'but it was Valentine's Day' ending was clever.

Lovely Valentine Gifts.

10:20 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

Great ending, and the Peter Pam name was perfect. 012 continues to entertain.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

I'm sO glad you had such a blesssed and GLORIOUS Friday the 13th! My day got better and better as the day went too! (it HAD to!) LOL!

I agree that Betty is the beauty - but I HOPE that doesn't make YOU the Beast...

Loved the Wordzzles today - especially the 10 Word! That was just a GREAT story! Imagine the sheriff FALLING for that!!! LOL!

I suggest paint colors Map Paper and Shingle Tan for the Mason Hall! They seem to go well together and really brighten the place up!

10:58 AM  
Blogger The Old Fart said...

Agent 012 is now a blogger, his life will change forever. I can only imagine the bloggers he is going to meet at the convention.

Happy Valentines wishes for you and Betty.

12:41 PM  
Blogger bettygram said...

Did you notice from the stories that the homes in our basement have grown?
I am giving you a public thank you for the flowers and Kiss.

1:53 PM  
Blogger juliana said...

i suspect 012 has no idea how interesting his days might become...

great stories again!

2:06 PM  
Anonymous quilly said...

Dr. John -- if you could win Wordzzles I know the dragons would vote for you. I have such fun reading these every week!

7:12 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

Dr. J, I so enjoyed reading all your stories today. I kept having to leave, and each time made sure I came back to read yet another story here.

I'm sad to hear of your Valentines 'challenges'. None sound like fun. I do hope the rest of your day got better... and that tomorrow is even better yet.

10:14 PM  
Blogger Mark Beihoffer said...

Well, I'm hooked. Count me in, I even bookMarked it over to my Buddy, Jack.

8:07 AM  

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