Grief can be Good

As I have blogged I have discovered a lot of grieving people.
They are hurting because of some severe life change.

The loss of a loved one, a fire, having a child move away, losing a job.
All of these can trigger grief as a response to the change that we have to make.

When I was in the ministry I developed a workshop on grieving based on Granger Westberg’s book “Good Grief“ .
I did a seminar at the university and at the church college on grief.
I did workshops in dozens of churches and senior centers.

From all of that and my personal grief counseling as well as my personal grief experience I believe that the ten steps Westberg gives us correspond fairly well to human experience.
There are other ways of looking at grief.
Some have eight steps and some have five stages.

But I find these ten to work well:

1. Shock
2. Emotion
3. Depression
4. Physical pain
5. Fear or panic
6. Guilt
7. Anger
8. We function poorly
9. The breaking in of hope
10. The start of the new life

Grief is seen as a process that takes us from where we were to where we will be.
It takes us from the life that was to the new life that opens for us.
It is never standard and is different for each person.
It sometimes starts before the death occurs and by the time it happens we have almost finished the process.
But for most of us the ten steps will be there and knowing that will help us make the journey.

For the next ten Sundays I will take the steps one at a time and walk through them. I hope that this might help somebody who is grieving or who will be grieving.

If you have a friend who is grieving you might tell them of this blog .

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News from Pigeon Falls– The little town in my backyard where the trains still run.– The people at Last Lutheran Church celebrated Bible Camp Sunday today. They sang the camp songs , accompanied by a guitar. Camp staff shared stories of what is happening at the camp. The church was fairly full as many people have great memories from their days at camp .
Eino got together with most of the town council, the mayor , and the Constable to try to decide what to do about the Hermit. They decided to go back in this afternoon and see if they can find somebody to contact. That means going through private papers and all.
Nancy says there was a bit of a commotion at the Fly Inn Bar last night. Evelyn Snyder was sitting at a table having a hamburger when Big Rudy came over and started making smart remarks. She told him to get lost. He told her she couldn’t talk to him like that and grabbed her arm. Well she swung her purse with the other arm and hit him right in the chin and down he went. Of course he was very drunk at the time. But now Evelyn’s friends are teasing her that she hits like a Bishop. I guess the only way that Big Rudy could get more humiliated is if Tommy. The undertaker’s kid was to floor him ( and that’s possible as Tommy lifts weights).
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Link for today: Punk Rock Parents - Leave a comment on this blog containing the words Dr. John and get 5 somewhat silly JC points. Check your JC point total HERE.
Yesterday we drew Cindy's name. If it is drawn again today she wins what's in the prize box. If nobody wins by tomorrow we add to the box. And the name drawn today is Javangogh. Sorry Cindy. If we draw Javangogh tomorrow she gets what's in the prize box. We keep going until somebody wins and then we start with some new prize. Good luck Javangogh.
My sister Chris (she's the one that blogs) showed up this morning and we all went to Church together. It was also Bible Camp Sunday at United and the camp staff did a terrific job. The singing was great, with a little hand clapping and foot stomping ( I know that its not very Lutheran but I loved it). Pastor Mike shared a family miracle. His son was flying out in a company plane when the motor failed. The plane crashed hitting a building and then ending up on a pile of sand. Everybody was able to get out and then the plane exploded. Nobody was hurt.
After Church we came back to the house and talked. Chris rescued my old hobby horse which she had ridden on as a child and took it home with her. Thank you Christine. She brought us digital pictures of my nephews (her children and my other sister's children) . It was good for us to visit. While she was here we had a walk through to look at the house. (I hope that wasn't the result of my morning coffee) She left from her to go to my sister Dawn's. Well I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA