Gum your way to heaven
Saying for the day: Did God send gum to save us?
I spent all that time in seminary and years in study afterward directed toward the question “How does one get to heaven”.
The other night I was watching television and discovered my answer might not be correct.
How do you get to heaven ?
You have to chew the right gum.
Now television wouldn’t put on something that isn’t true would they.
They showed this poor fellow being pulled right into hell where a group of dragon ladies were waiting for him.
Apparently he swore too much and he was stuck there forever.
That’s when the gum lady shows up with the gum and a goat.
She is in white and the goat is white.
Our poor fellow takes the gum and immediately is transferred to heaven.
The women there were much prettier.
The lady with the goat then reminds us of how important it is to chew the right gum.
Now I do have a few questions.
1. I thought the goat was a satanic symbol so what is it doing here?
2. Could some other gum do just as well ? Are they like other denominations?
3. How about one of those tooth whitening systems?Is that like another religion ?
4. Why do only ugly women go to hell? Or do they get ugly when they arrive?
5. Why is hell red and heaven white? Is this a racist view of heaven?
6. Is the lady with the gum an angel?
7. Is the goat perhaps a scapegoat that takes our sins?
8. Isn’t this the same lady and the same gum that caused that other poor guy to crash his car?
9. Is this place that is so white really heaven or is it hell in disguise?
Why there is enough material here for a dissertation on alternate forms of salvation.
I don’t think pastors or theologians should watch television.
News from Pigeon Falls– The little town in my backyard where the dragons still fly free.-No dragon or White Rabbit yesterday or this morning.
They are getting a little concerned about the Chicago Hermit as his groceries from Saturday are still siting on the porch. That plus the fact that the noise and light flashes have stopped .His doors are locked and nobody has the authority to break them in. The rumors have already begun that some Chicago gangsters came and rubbed him out. Eino says that authority or not if the groceries are still there tomorrow they will break the front door lock to get in.
Jack is trying to find out who the celebrity is so he can get him or her to take a Sauna. Then he can advertise that so and so got a Sauna here. I don’t know if that would make me want to Sauna there or not. Since Jack’s Sauna burns wood ( all real Saunas do) you would think the higher oil and natural gas prices wouldn’t affect him. But you would be wrong. His wood is delivered by truck and the truck burns diesel fuel. The trucker has upped his wood delivery rate. Even little backwoods towns are affected by foreign wars.
The strawberry crop is coming in and Nancy is now offering a piece of strawberry pie and a cup of coffee for $2.00 (no ice cream). She says people like a little change now and then.
The annual Liar’s Club story telling contest looks like it will have plenty of contestants this year. So far twenty people have registered. Three of them are from out of the area. We have until the end of the week and they close the registration.
The Link for today is: My Body for Life Challenge. Remeber to put the words Dr. John in your comment for JCPOINTS or if not for JCPOINTS just to confuse the blog writer. You can check your JCPOINT total HE RE.
Now the name for today if we drew Jill she gets what's in the prize box.
The name drawn fresh this morning is Jafabrit. If we draw it agin tomorrow she gets what's in the prize box. This is so filled with suspense. Good luck Jafabrit , sorry Jill.
Betty went to Tops and then went to visit with an old friend that is back in town for a short time. I spent the day working on the family tree website which is almost done. There are still a few glitches but we I'll work those out. Now I have to start updating things. Well I need a breathing treatment.