Thursday, December 11, 2008

Creative Gifts

Today's Link
Carol for Peace

Saying for the Day
Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money. ~Author Unknown

Picture of the day


My older sister called the other day to tell me and this is the truth that my younger sister’s relatively new husband was giving her a burial plot. Now I don’t know if that’s a birthday gift or a Christmas gift but after I thought about it for a bit it seemed to me like a perfect gift. So many of the gifts we give are just wrong. They never get used. They just take up space. But everybody is going to die. What a creative gift.
We need to become more creative like that. To help you I have put together a creative gift giving list.

1. For the couple who has everything and wants to keep it a planned parent hood gift certificate.

2. For the person who intends to be cremated a soft cuddly Teddy Bear Urn from Perfect Memorials. Who else gets to sleep with their future resting place?




3. For those who intend to be buried why not a coffin coffee table. In life a bookshelf and coffee table but when they die it becomes their coffin. They always have something to look forward too.





4. For that poor tired person or persons in need of a vacation a gift certificate for one night at the Propeller Island City Lodge in Germany where you get to sleep in a coffin. Now that’s a vacation.



5. For the person who wants to stand out in a crowd a gift certificate from the closest piercing place. I promise you nobody else is giving this.




6. For the deer hunter in the family a bullet proof backpack shield . A steal at only $279 plus postage.




7. For the paint ball fanatic in the family his or her own tank. It’s a little pricey at $14,000 but this is Christmas.




8. Something for the tree for years to come hanging tree poo. They will just love you for it and only $5.00.




9. For the save the planet person on your list a beautifully preserved hunk of Rhino dung. The money raised by its sale goes to preserve the animal.



10. For the former smoker who feels lost without a cigarette this beautiful pair of cigarette socks. They will never be without a cigarette again.



I hope this has helped too get your creative jucies flowing. Remember no more dull ordinary Christmas gifts.
Be Creative.

News from Pigeon Falls
The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal

POOF

According to the Iron River Reporter that was how one observer described the end of Pigeon Falls. Poof! A mushroom cloud and it was gone. Fall out from the blast took place all over Upper Michigan.
The government today said that a plane accidentally dropped an Atomic bomb on Pigeon Falls. The first time in the history of the country.
Congress has called for a full and complete investigation of the incident.
Still President Bush said that he can not understand how this could have happened. But he is President and therefore bears some responsibility however the safeguards to prevent this were set up under the Clinton Administration.
Soon to be President Obama expressed his outrage that this took place and gave his sympathy to the surviving relatives. As soon as it is safe he plans on visiting the area.
From all across the world governments are sending their formal notes of sympathy.
Osama bin Laden said on Arab television that now the evil giant was reaping what it sowed.
A helicopter pilot that flew over the area swears that he saw dancing shoes and a flying coffee pot moving through the destruction below.
Even the Lake of the Loons is gone vaporized by the blast.


Herman woke with a start. He wondered if that was a dream or a vision and then he heard the airplane overhead.


Wrap Up
Another good breathing day. In the morning I worked on Christmas gifts for my sister Chris. I got her one of those picture key chains and loaded it with pictures of her childhood. In the afternoon we worked on the layout. We had a visitor who took movies of the layout. I enjoyed that. We had one street car that kept stalling, of course. Something always goes wrong when you want to show off. After we went back upstairs we got to talking with Jeff about God. He is a highly committed lay person at St. Mark's. Then I visited all the links on tier one and two and some of three. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA
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14 Comments:

Blogger Janvangogh said...

Herman needs to check the shower real quick and see if Patrick Duffy is there.

5:54 AM  
Blogger Jo said...

Does that mean all the folks in Pigeon Falls get to use the coffins they got for Christmas?

Gosh, all I want for Christmas is an egg-timer.

7:23 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

*biting my fingernails wondering if Amanda & Jarod were IN Pigeon Falls or away on business...*

I hope that plane is just spraying for mosquitoes or something!

7:31 AM  
Blogger Lori's Minute said...

I like the coffin coffe table...storage for items when you're alive and storage for you when you're dead. Always like something that has more than one use.

8:28 AM  
Blogger juliana said...

hahahah, your gift ideas really made me laugh... original, no doubt :)

phew, herman's dream (vision?) scared the s*** out of me!

9:31 AM  
Anonymous quilly said...

I plan on buying a coffin for Christmas -- for ME if you ever cause me to have another heart attack like the one Herman's dream gave me!

10:11 AM  
Blogger The Old Fart said...

Imaginative Gifts ~ I'd hate to be on the receiving end of the Paint Ball Tank.

10:15 AM  
Blogger Cherie said...

I've got to say that the coffee table is the strangest shaped coffin I've ever seen. Is that for the woman who wants to be buried with her hand on her hip? LOL Wait a minute! I do that, but there's a problem. I'd need a wing on the other side because I usually do that with both hands. :)

And as for Pigeon Falls, please tell Herman to RUN! :)

12:37 PM  
Blogger Catch said...

a burial plot...hmmmm...is he a beneficiary on her insurance policy? that would make it a little scary,.
Those are some great gfts Dr John!!! As a former smoker, I cant imagine the cigarette stockings...I think the tobacco would get between your toes!

2:12 PM  
Blogger Dragonstar said...

Clever way out of the Pigeon Falls horror!

I don't believe some of those presents - who thinks of these things?

2:17 PM  
Blogger Russell said...

Well, just when I think you have really outdone yourself, you surprise me!! Heh!!!

This is a GREAT post! I had to laugh as I read it for many reasons - but it so good! I remember meeting couples who wanted me to draw up (you can never say write! heh!) their wills.

They would most always say IF I die I want.... to which I would always look at them very seriously (!) and say "Do you know something I don't?! Please, please tell me!"

But people talk like that. If I die... if I do this... if I do that... they don't even think about it. But I always notice and sometimes I say something... other times I don't...!

Take care.

4:24 PM  
Blogger loisontheweb said...

You worried me with the Pigeon Falls dream !
Also ... the gift list worried me until I found out it was a tonque-in cheek thing.

9:14 PM  
Anonymous noble pig said...

I always tell my husband I'm going to order one of the coffin's from Costco (they are beautiful and are only $900)and use it every year as a decoration for our Halloween party and serve drinks out of it with dry ice. Then whoever dies first gets to be buried in it. I think it's the perfect gift and hope he gives it to me for the holidays. You know I love Halloween decor.

11:33 PM  
Blogger jmb said...

Just like the Neiman Marcus catalogue, not.

I do hope I can come up with something better than those on that list.

12:23 AM  

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