Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Woof-It

Today's Link
Ksarrasarra

Saying for the Day
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. ~Ogden Nash

Picture of the Day
(Decorating the tree)

As I sit here writing this blog I am trying to devise a strategy in case Maggie decides to play “ Woof-it” this morning. l suppose you never heard of Woof-it . I never did before. I think it’s a game my grand dog got from the internet.
It’s a simple game with rather complex rules. So far I haven’t won but then Maggie is an excellent player. But I am working on a some super plays that will give me an edge. It’s bad for a dog to always win.
For those of you who don’t know how it is played let me describe a typical game.
It begins with Betty and Maggie returning from their morning walk or as Betty describes it from the morning pull Grandma through the snow time.
I take my position at the counter that separates the kitchen from the dining area. Her return means I get breakfast.
But before Betty can start my breakfast Maggie has moved her metal bowl in front of the cabinet with the dog food and looks at us with such a pitiful stare .Then whines.
This is the traditional opening for Woof-it.
Now the referee (Betty) opens the cabinet , takes out the dry food, and places exactly one scoop in the bowl.
She then returns the bowl to the starting position.
The next move is critical.
If Maggie moves the bowl the referee will declare her offside and send her to the Crate.
This is my chance to win. If I can finish my breakfast before her Crate time is up, I win.
But at this point Maggie executes a Feint. She pretends she is eating the dry food.
The referee goes back to making my breakfast. I begin to take my pills.
Then we hear the Sound. This is Maggie’s classic move. It is the sound of paw on metal.
I turn to find the bowl hurtling toward me.
I can now either allow it to fly past and hit the counter or I can block it with my foot.
Blocking is called a Prevent and gets me a large bruise and one point.
I block. I now lead one to nothing.
The game now requires ritual language.
The referee returns the bowl to its rightful place while saying over and over :
“ Bad dog! No! No! No! Don’t play with your food”.
Maggie hangs her head and looking miserable retreats to the couch.
This is essential because if she had tried at that point to move the bowl again the referee would have called “ Unnecessary Roughness” and sent her to the Crate. I would win.
But she is on the couch looking so sad and I finish taking my pills.
By this time my breakfast is ready. Just as I begin to eat I hear the Sound.
It is coming from a slightly different direction. She has quietly moved the bowl for a better shot.
This one is coming at me twice as fast. My leg still hurts from the last Prevent.
I hesitate.
The bowl sails past and crashes into the counter scattering dry food in every direction.
Maggie scores three points.
Game over.
Now Maggie begins to eat the dry food which tastes much better on the rug than it did in the bowl.
I tell you if there was ever a Woof-it division for dogs in the Olympics Maggie would win paws down.
My grand dog is a champion.
I think the referee is looking for a gold medal for her.
She is good and I have the bruises to prove it.

News from Pigeon Falls
The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal
Yesterday things got really strange. The shadow covered all of the Bob Maki farm and moved so fast it got most of the equipment of the Homeland Security people. It also covered ten feet of railroad track. The Homeland Security people panicked and called in an aerial bombardment. Planes came and dropped napalm bombs attempting to burn off the shadow. They had no effect but were simply absorbed. According to the leader of the group the only hope was to drop an atomic bomb before the shadow go so large you couldn’t get it all. There was no time for evacuation. To save the world the people of Pigeon Falls would have to be sacrificed. The remainder of the afternoon was spent trying to get clearance from Washington.
While this was going on Tammy and Tommy UK were visiting with Herman’s mother. They asked her to tell them about Herman. It’s a good job Herman wasn’t there because his mother told the sad story of all of Herman’s failures. It seems that poor Herman failed at everything he tried from the time he was very little. He was a poor student . It took him two tries to get through the eighth grade. He went to barber college and flunked haircutting. It’s no wonder he took up drinking. All of this made Tammy and Tommy Uk feel sorry for Herman but brought them no closer to a solution. Just as they were leaving his mother looked at the picture of the three symbols and said it reminded her of something.
Late in the afternoon permission was received and a plane carrying an Atomic bomb was on its way to Pigeon Falls.
Will Tammy and Tommy UK find the answer in time to save Pigeon Falls from the shadow? Will the bomb be dropped? Will there be any Pigeon Falls to save ? What does Herman’s mother remember? And of course is Tommy UK really the undertaker’s kid? Tomorrow in News from Pigeon Falls there will be some answers but only if there still is a Pigeon Falls to get news from.

Wrap Up
It was a very good breathing day. In the morning I put Sunday's srermon on the website and the Bible Study for the week. Betty and Pennie went shopping. in the afternoon we worked in the basement. We now have all the lights and the lighthouse working on the new part of the layout. Then we cleaned and took out two bags of garbage. Then I visited all of tier one and tier two of my links and a few blogs that left comments. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA
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19 Comments:

Blogger Janvangogh said...

I have a feeling if the bomb is droopped, it too will get absorbed by the shadow.

5:25 AM  
Blogger Janvangogh said...

I have a feeling if the bomb is droopped, it too will get absorbed by the shadow.

5:26 AM  
Blogger Gattina said...

And you "only" have a dog ! Imagine breakfast with 5 cats who are able to jump into your plate without any problem !

8:21 AM  
Blogger Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

Loved your story about Maggie and her food bowl/hockey puck. :) Of course, food tastes better when it's on the floor. My (now departed) Schnauzer would grab a mouthful of dry food from his bowl, walk a good 15 feet to the living room, deposit said mouthful on the carpet and *then* eat it! Who knows what goes through their minds.

I'm intrigued by the Pigeon Falls saga and looking forward to the next installment.

8:53 AM  
Blogger Nessa said...

You can never win a game played against a dog - they have mad skills.

8:59 AM  
Blogger Jeff B said...

Where do dogs learn the sad pathetic look from? Is there some sort of secrete dog school they attend when we're not looking? My yellow lab has it down to an art form.

9:13 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

I would suggest a plastic doggy dish - still fun to bat around, but PERHAPS no more bruises... Then again... regulations might require a metal dish. I'm not up on ALL the rules of Woof-It.

This is starting to sound like War of The Worlds! Are we gonna wake up and find out it's all a dream? Boy I sure hope SOMEBODY saves Pigeon Falls! I'm praying!

9:33 AM  
Blogger Catch said...

all dogs get that sad look that can just melt you...no wonder they win all the games!

10:12 AM  
Blogger Family Man said...

That is hysterical! I can actually picture the process in my mind. Of course in my mind the grand dog is a Jack Russel.

Geez, I am still laughing.

10:28 AM  
Blogger The Old Fart said...

The Game of Woof, sounds like fun for Maggie. I would suggest you get some Leg Padding like a Hockey Goalie uses.

It would help your shins and such

Thanks for the Morning chuckle

11:34 AM  
Blogger juliana said...

ha, that was brilliant! just can't win against a dog, can you!

i wonder where herman is... swallowed by the hole? if that be the case, the solution might be hidden in there. but then, somebody better stop the bombing!

1:01 PM  
Blogger jmb said...

Those dogs, they get you every time.

1:55 PM  
Blogger The Crazy Object B. said...

I'd like to challenge you on that. I think spanky has some chance.

3:18 PM  
Blogger Sue said...

You win! Bruises make you a winner by disqualification of the opponent.

Sounds a little like the battles I have with my three year old grandsons when I'm trying to get them to eat something healthy.

3:31 PM  
Blogger MedStudentWife said...

"Woof-it" sounds like more fun and could be a replacement for Canadian Saturday night hockey in Canada - Add some cats, squirrels and maybe some gerbils and a league is formed !!!! *lol*:D

6:37 PM  
Anonymous noble pig said...

I would totally lose that game.

7:26 PM  
Anonymous quilly said...

Well, you could get a bowl that anchors to the floor, but what fun would that be?

7:44 PM  
Blogger tsduff said...

Dogs have it over people, hands (paws) down. Your grand doggy warms my heart.

Have missed reading you since being out of town. Nice to be back to Pigeon Falls news :)

9:14 PM  
Blogger Dragonstar said...

It's ages since I was over here, and I've missed so much!

I absolutely love Mollie's bright game! Getting bruised like that is no fun, I know, but she obviously loves the game. And of course food tastes better from the floor!

2:10 PM  

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