Saturday, October 18, 2008

Raven's Challenge 35

Today's Link
Capitalists @ Work

Saying for the Day
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~Theodore Roosevelt

Picture of the Day
From the Archieves- Pete and Pat

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
though the words are from Melli.
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: blinking, cellulite, crescent, ship-shape, homonym, suffering, packer, wind chime, scissors, necklace

Mini Challenge: static, floppy hat, penguin, cinnamon, alphabetical

This week's vanity wordzzle used the words: Smiley face, keys, stuffed parrot, fringe, molecular engineer, tribe, mist, undertow, forgotten

Fifteen Word Continuing Story of Agent 012
Poor Agent 012 was suffering from the crescent shaped hives that covered his body as he stood guard at the mansion. He had been allergic to the sticky stuff the pretend old lady in the floppy hat had shot at him out of her umbrella. His backup arrived in time to keep the “ old lady” from sticking a scissors in him, capture the Tattle Tale and the “Old Lady” but had real trouble getting Agent 012 out of the mess. By the time they did he had missed CSI and was covered with these dang blinking hives. He was sure he would never be ship shape again.
But the Agency didn’t give him a day off to recover. No! They sent him to guard Cinnamon Homonym whose name reminded him of somebody else whose name sounded the same but was spelled differently but right now he couldn’t remember who that was. Worse he was supposed to “keep her alive at all costs”. That meant of course that if somebody shot at this overweight cellulite filled blimp in a necklace he had to take the bullet She wasn’t even the wife of the President or the wife of a Green Bay Packer. She was just your average millionaire and they were a dime a dozen, hardly worth risking his life for. But it was that or face static from the Chief. He hated static. He hated static more than risking his life
So here he was, scratching and waiting, waiting and scratching.. Then he heard the wind chime he had set near the front door. Hurrying to the door he saw a delivery man from one of those alphabetical delivery companies,. RMG Delivery it said on the side of the truck.
“Delivery for Mrs. Cinnamon Homonym “ the man said holding up a large stuffed penguin.
“I’ll take it” Agent 012 said while scratching.
But the man refused to give it. So he grabbed it. It was very heavy for a stuffed penguin.
“ I wouldn’t drop or shake or stir that if I were you , Agent 012 or you will be Agent 000. “
He knew that voice it was Synonym Homeahim his counterpart at Mute and the name he couldn’t remember.
He watched him drive off not daring to move . Every hive on his body itched but he didn’t dare scratch.
This was not going to be his day.
Fifteen word , one sentence story
Cinnamon the poor old lady alphabetical homonym expert no longer ship-shape but suffering from a heavy cellulite buildup couldn’t help blinking under her floppy hat, with the penguin on top, as she hit the crescent shaped Packer wind chime with her scissors causing static but she didn‘t care, she was in love again as the necklace he gave her proved .
Ten word story
Hi, if your reading this my name is Tom and I’m suffering, of course if your not reading this my name is still Tom and I’m still suffering but you’ll never know it. It started this morning with my third grader . He needed help with his homework. He wanted to know what a homonym was. He’s only in third grade and already they are teaching him sex education. I didn’t find out what a homonym was until I was twenty and I had to sock one. I told him I didn’t know and made a note to talk to that blinking, arrogant teacher of his They aren’t getting away with this.
Then there is my wife. When I married her she was better than ship-shape but not now. I suggested to her that she should go on a diet and get rid of that cellulite tube she has around her middle. You would have thought I said something wrong. Now all I get from her is static and silence. What’s a man to do?
So I went to work .I work as a packer at the Crescent Scissors Necklace Factory. They make wind chimes and I pack them, two to a box. I had decided that people didn’t like those little plastic peanuts so I left them out. I guess this angered the peanut people so they got me fired. Fired! I got fired!Fired! After all those faithful years I got fired.
So now I have no job, a sexually confused third grader, a fat ticked off wife, and I am suffering.
So If you found this note under the rock at Lover’s Leap you will know why I did. Leap that is. If the wind is right I might just hit my house roof.
On the other hand if you don’t find the note I changed my mind and went home but then you’ll never know.

The Vanity Wordzzle
Joseph stood on the very fringe of accepted science. He had started as a molecular engineer with a degree from MIT doing basic research. But that was before he found those long forgotten research papers of Smiley Face Johnson in that stuffed parrot and was caught up in their strange undertow.. They were not ordinary papers but claimed to hold the very keys of life itself. That brought him to this remote jungle tribe and found him standing in the morning mist rising from their sacred pool. Here he felt sure was the secret of life. The waters contained something that could if extracted cause people to live forever. He was the one to extract it. He would go down in history. He would be like a God. He had tested the tribe members many were over a thousand years old. It had to be the water. Poor Joseph he would indeed give life but not the way he thought. He found himself stabbed and bleeding into the pool being held by several tribe members. He knew now that human blood was the catalyst that made the stuff in the water work. He heard the chief say. “Put the papers back in the parrot and send it back to the University. “
News from Pigeon Falls
The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal.
It’s Saturday and time to look back over the week in Pigeon Falls.
Tuesday– Wink’s Woods held a big floppy hat contest. Hats were judged on floppiness , beauty, and originality. It was supposed to be broadcast on WIKB radio but for some reason there was too much static and the announcer couldn’t be understood. First prize consisted of, in alphabetical order, a year’s supply of cinnamon, a seven foot tall plastic lawn penguin, and a small rose wagon. Mrs. Karen Croop who always wears a floppy hat was the winner. Her husband, Gerry, plans on putting the penguin on the roof with a string of Christmas lights and wearing an old floppy hat.
Wednesday-Barbara Olson explained how she choose a candidate for President to Nancy. First she visualizes each candidate wearing a big floppy hat and if one looks better than the other he gets her vote. This year it was a tie, both looked awful. So she went to plan B and looked up the stand of each candidate on the save the Penguin campaign. Neither one had a stand so she went to plan C which was to place the candidates in alphabetical order and vote for the first one. So this year McCain gets her vote. Her husband is giving her lots of static and saying that the method is stupid but she told Nancy if he keeps it up he’ll get no more of those apple cinnamon rolls he loves so much.
Friday– Herman has been coming home by eleven o’clock only partly drunk since his wife issued the ultimatum. He is afraid she would lock him out and besides the Fly Inn fired his bartender so he can’t get driblets any more. But he is still telling everybody that his vision assures that Obama will win the election.

Wrap Up
Very good day . My oxygen was in the low normal range. Betty and Pennie and I went to Fleet Farm. Betty bought shoes. Then we went to I-Hop and had lunch. After that it was office max. Then we went home. I did some blog visiting. I read some really great stories.Then my son Pete and his two kids came. Bree brought a friend and the two of them and Pennie have gone to a Christian concert. I played with Luke for a short time. Now I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger Dragonstar said...

I've been clutching my sides reading all of these - great to have a laugh like this!

I'm glad your dragons liked my dragons.

3:38 AM  
Blogger Janvangogh said...

Sounds like the Presidential candidates need to come and campaign in Pigeon Falls.

5:21 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

(janvangogh - bite your tongue!) ;)

I have JUST the stuff for Agent O12 - it's spray on itch relief - I think I got it at the Build-A-Bear Warehouse!

hehehe... I am LOVIN' reading about all these penguins this week!

I think that since God is ultimately in charge, that Barbara Olson's plan is just as likely as any! HOWEVER... I really thought she was going to pick Barrack Obama - since they share the same initials!

5:46 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

??? ??? I STOLE a line??? Really? I DON'T know! Which line did I steal? That is funny! Which story is it from? I gotta know!!!

6:40 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

Ohhhhhhhh it MUST be the (all good stories start that way)... right? Well ... they do! LOL! I guess I DID steal it -- but it was subconscious theft!

6:44 AM  
Blogger Chatty said...

Oh, I like all the stories this week - especially the names that sound the same but are spelled differently, and not meeting a homonym until he was twenty ; )

7:24 AM  
Blogger Raven said...

Excellent as always, though Agent 012 just always delights me with the predicaments he gets into. My favorite line: "They sent him to guard Cinnamon Homonym whose name reminded him of somebody else whose name sounded the same but was spelled differently ... " Brilliant. And I always enjoy the doings in Pigeon Falls.

7:55 AM  
Blogger Akelamalu said...

Loved them all but the ten worder is my favourite not least because I hate those plastic peanuts too!

I'm going to pretend I didn't read the note that way Tom is still alive and kicking. :)

9:32 AM  
Blogger Carletta said...

Dr. John you amaze me with your wonderful stories!
Your fifteen word one sentence was fantastic!

10:42 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

Agent 012 is on the job. That's what really matters, isn't it?

Great stories.


10:59 AM  
Blogger Dianne said...

you're just showing off now!

I loved them all but I really enjoyed Tom's letter. I doubt he'll hurt himself, he seems far too clueless to do any real damage.

11:45 AM  
Anonymous quilly said...

Wonderful stories! I can tell you had a blast! I wish I weren't so dang tired. I want to play, too!

12:19 PM  
Blogger Lori's Minute said...

At first I thought that was a picture of Luke before I realized it was Pete!!!!!

3:21 PM  
Blogger Cindy said...

I like that quote you put at the top of the post- it's a good reminder for us all in these tough times and I think someone should remind our government what Teddy Roosevelt once said...

6:46 PM  
Blogger Lu' said...

I enjoyed reading them all. I liked Cinnamon Hmomnym and the sentence about her name HA! The overheard Chief's remark too. I'll bet quite a few people actually use similar methodes to pick a candidate to vote for, not that is scary.

4:54 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

Wish I coulda gone to that Christian concert...

5:25 AM  
Blogger B. Roan said...

....and I needed a good laugh. Excellent! BJ

5:38 PM  

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