Monday, December 10, 2007

Why did the Chicken cross the Road?

Saying for the day : Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sigmund Froid

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ralph sent me an e-mail with the answer to that question and I thought I would share it with you.
Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL :
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH :
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH :
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL :
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY :
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE :
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN :
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART :
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS :
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY :
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL :
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA :
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS :
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON :
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE :
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES :
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ........ reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN :
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON :
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE :
I invented crossing the road.

COLONEL SANDERS :
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY :
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON :
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

#### News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal. There is something strange happening in Pigeon Falls. All the pigeons are sitting on the same side pof the street. Ordinarily they would be dispersed all over town, some on Jack’s Sauna, some on the school, some on Wink’s Woods, some on the Town Hall, and so on. But now all the pigeons are on the same side of the street as the Masonic building. This is leading to the question why did the pigeons cross the street.
Nancy has been asking people that question as they came for coffee this morning.
Eino said it’s because its so cold and that side of the street gets more sun.

Tommy UK– felt that they were afraid of the poltergeist.

Mrs. Trumble felt that it was somehow related to the demon dragon;.

Petrovich said he didn’t know but he thought he had read a driblet that might have the answer,

Esther from Kivi&Maki’s said she didn’t know but the new Pigeonopoly game they were selling makes a great Christmas gift.

Jack said that it can’t be for warmth. If his place is warm enough for Finns it is warm enough for pigeons.

The DNR man said there must be some kind of predator on the other side.

Old Mrs. Murphy said that they crossed the street to get to the other side.
*******

Today's Link-Optical Illusions Etc. An interesting look at a black something.
Today was not a good day. I got up blogged, and did all the addresses for the eBay mailing. Then went back to bed because I was and am sick. If there is no blog tomorrow it will be because I am still sick. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

9 Comments:

Blogger Janvangogh said...

Tommy UK must have put some food on one side of the street. BTW, what ever happened to Tommy TW?

5:48 AM  
Blogger Stacy said...

Did anyone ask the chicken?

7:28 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

Why is it just one chicken crossing the road? If he had a flock like the pigeons then he could safely stop traffic,at tax payers expense of course!

8:26 AM  
Blogger OC or Q said...

Maybe that chicken crossing the road left KFC short a few portions and the pigeons are staying on the opposite side of the street to avoid being deep fried?

HAve the lips of anybody in Pigeon Falls turned burple yet?

-Q

8:34 AM  
Blogger Catch said...

what chicken?

1:11 PM  
Blogger patterns of ink said...

You've probably heard this answer to that proverbial question:
"To prove to the 'possum that it could be done."

Hey... Since you have read many of the early chapters, I wanted to let you know I posted the title chapter last night—a couple more chapters will wrap it up and I’ll be getting back to “normal” at POI.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Margaret said...

I hope you're feeling better soon Dr. John. We'll say a little prayer for you this evening.

Great joke about Chickens. I don't know, but I do know they cross the road here all of the time and like to hang out here at my place.

I don't believe we're allowed to own livestock in this area, but my neighbors ignore that fact. All I can say is the rooster two doors down needs to stop crowing when the sun goes down. Seriously, he sleeps all day but come 6pm it's Cockadoodledoo for the next 12 hours.

4:31 PM  
Blogger Lori's Minute said...

I DON'T care about the stinkin chicken....doesn't anyone care why I crossed the road???? It's all about me, me, me.....

4:59 PM  
Blogger Louisiana said...

i'm so sorry to read you are ill. we shall pray for your health of body. we send you many kisses and hugs and our love.

if i was there i would make you some chicken soup and tell you made up silly stories about train adventures to keep you from thinking about how bad you feel.

much love from us 6 here.xoxoox

8:58 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home