Thursday, December 06, 2007

Day 4 of C

Saying for the day:Sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do. John Wayne
Some of the blogs I visit participated in something called NaBloPoMo in which they tried to write a novel in a month. Well I never wanted to write a novel but I always wanted to write a short murder mystery. So in honor of NaBloPoMo here is my effort.
My name is Thomas Meek and I’ m in charge of the Michigan State Police Roving Crime Lab for the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Meek may seem like and odd name for a cop who is anything but meek but my damn grandfather whose last name was Meekapolis shortened it to Meek when he came to America. What Grandpa did is too much trouble for us to undo.
But enough about me I am sure that what you want to know is about our latest case. I was called from Marquette, Christmas center of the UP, to a needy little town in the middle of nowhere. We were lucky to get the van there the roads were so bad. But this was a murder case and so I drove furiously along whatever track existed in the mud. Would you believe this town is still served by train and that not even Amtrack.
Arriving I checked in with some guy named Eino. He’s the one who found the body. He had watched enough CSI to know how to behave and so he had sealed off the crime scene . Further he shamelessly hid all the details of the crime from the rest of the town. Only Eino and some kid named Tommy UK , strange name, even knew a crime had been committed. Well them and the one who did it.
So I went out to begin my examination. The body, what was left of it, was still lying next to the railroad siding. The sight was almost enough to make you toss your cookies. It was covered with birds which seemed to be pigeons, if you can believe that. Driving the birds away I discovered that someone had poured syrup all over the body and then dumped bags of birdseed onto the syrup. My partner and I placed the body in the van, gathered up what evidence there was at the scene and he took it all to Marquette for evaluation. The bullet hole in her head suggested that I didn’t have too wait for an autopsy for he cause of death and it wasn’t pigeon bites.
No matter what kind of equipment you have a good part of this bitchin job is luck. I stopped into the local bar, the Fly Inn, both for a drink and to gather information. The first thing I noticed, being a trained observer, was that there was mistletoe everywhere. If somebody wanted to kiss you, it would be hard to get out without being kissed.
Alice, that’s the victim's name, worked in the bar as a waitress so I figured the bartender would have some information I could use. So I asked if he had seen Alice.
“You mean the bird lady with the big patootie ?” he answered. “No and she’s late for work again.”
It seemed Alice liked Pigeons. “Is there anybody special she hangs out with” I asked , fishing for information.
“Every man in the place would like to hang out with her . She makes all the other women in here look like old hags. Even Santa , the old guy with the big white beard made a pass at here. But she wasn’t naughty so she ignored him”.
That’s when I saw Roy’s shoes. They had bird seed stuck here and there on them and I was willing to bet it was held on by birdseed. I said “Roy I have to take you and your shoes in for killing Alice. “ How did you know”, he said.
Sometimes you don’t need a crime lab. Just a dumb crook.

#### News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal. Well Mrs. T rumble and Fred made it to Federal Court yesterday. The judge wanted to know why they shouldn't be held in contempt for ignoring his injunction. Mrs. Trumble stated again, for the record, that the town had no Holiday tree and no manger scene. That’s when the ACLU lawyers brought in the video tape they had obtained from the network with a court order. They pointed out the tree with emphasis on the religious ornaments. They played the blessing of the Manger and pointed out it was in the middle of the town square. It looked like they had her dead to rights.
“Let’s see “ Mrs. Trumble said.” The tree you just showed us is not on town property but on the property of one Eino Jupola. It is not and can not be a town tree unless we choose to seize the property. The manger scene, belongs to the churches and is place on Eino’s property with his permission . Thus the injunction served on the town is void of any meaning and not enforceable.
The judge demanded of the ACLU lawyers as to why they had misrepresented the facts. They said they didn’t know. Mrs. Trumble reminded them that on three separate occasions, twice in writing and once orally that the town had no manger scene and no Holiday tree. They choose not to believe her. Nor did they bother to check their facts before going to court.’
The judge declared the injunction void and dismissed the case.
****

Today's Link- Heiresschild- A friend of Josie
A busy day today. Betty went out this morning into the 1 degree cold and had her cholesterol tested. Then I made her go back out with the eBay orders. She also went to the bank. I visited most of my links. In the afternoon I prepared and photographed the four items I put on eBay this evening. Then Betty and I worked on the layout. We put the trolley on trestles so it goes uphill then back down. Betty started moving buildings around. It is coming together. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

7 Comments:

Blogger Janvangogh said...

Did the lawyers assume that the town square belonged to the town? Or did Mrs. Trumble pull a fast one with land records?

6:14 AM  
Blogger OC or Q said...

Lovely short story, Dr. John.

IT appears Mrs. Trumble can wrestle in more ways then one! She's one sharp old lady!

-Quilldancer

9:30 AM  
Blogger Catch said...

great short story!!! Even I would have known to get rid of my shoes..what a dummy he was...not only that...now he has no waitress! LoL

10:54 AM  
Blogger Lori's Minute said...

I thought it was Santa because she wasn't naughty....whew!

2:36 PM  
Blogger Margaret said...

One degree. Oh my, I better stop my complaining for sure.

4:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SO ... PIGEON FALLS PUT THE ACLU IN ITS PLACE! It's about time somebody did!

5:46 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

LOVE IT! More please!

7:49 PM  

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