Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Fast Forward from Ralph 16

Saying for the Day:-The old songs are the best songs unless you are young.

My friend Ralph forwards things to me and every Wednesday I share one of those forwards with you.( Disclaimer– due to the negative reaction to last week’s forward I feel it necessary to say that the views expressed in the forward are those of Ralph and not necessarily of this blog.)
And now Forward with Ralph

It was fun being a baby boomer... until now. Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.
They include:

Herman's Hermits--- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.
Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now.
Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.
Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair.
Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.
Abba--- Denture Queen.
Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.
Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls-the little town in my garage where the trains still run, dragons fly, and it isn’t summer yet– This morning people got up to discover there was a frost last night. The newly planted flowers for which people had such great expectations all died. The old timers warned them but it was so warm that they decided to take a chance. They lost. Frost in May in Pigeon Falls is a way of life. If one must plant early then one must also watch the weather reports and cover the flowers on the nights when the frost is expected.
One suspects that the reason places start selling flowers when it first gets warm is that they know people will plant them and they will die and so they will have to come back and buy some more. In fact they make them look so good that you just have to buy them and plant them. You just can’t plant until Memorial Day. One year there was even frost in July but that was before Global Warming. There was snow in July that year as well.
There are flowers in The Dream, beautiful flowers. Somebody remarked that they as pretty as funeral flowers. Everywhere in Oiseaux Morts there are beautiful flowers. Flowers like that never grow in Pigeon Falls, well hardly ever. But since the residents of The Dream are worried about the Blue Plaque the flowers are all but ignored. Except by the children who love to pick them and give them to their mothers. A fresh bouquet is placed every day at the monument to the dragon that saved them from the invading army. Every morning the bouquet is gone and people believe the dragon comes and eats it. But nobody has ever seen that happen.
Tomorrow Petrovich says he will have an announcement concerning The Dream.
*****

Today's Link- My Life (Emma Kirsten's Journal)- A chance to find out ten things about somebody you don't know and they are interesting things. Leave an informative Dr. John in the comment.
Anoither day in the Fortress. I blogged a little. Played some computer games. Watched my soaps. Started getting the phones ready for the new house. I unpacked them and plugged them in. Looked out and saw Maggie holding the hopp and wondered if she was trying to get Betty to jump through it. Now I need a breathing treatment.
'GBYA

11 Comments:

Blogger Jill said...

I can sing all those songs, then - and now!

Too bad about the flowers. Here in Texas, if you don't like the weather, wait a minute , it will change.

5:59 AM  
Blogger Janvangogh said...

Wait. The Dragon saved them from the invading army --- the Dream people or Pigeon Falls?

6:28 AM  
Anonymous quilly said...

You know, it might not be the dragon coming and eating those flowers. It could very well be my bouquet munching cat!

7:46 AM  
Blogger The Old Fart said...

Ralph's email was funny, and you know the sad thing, I can remember all the songs in the Original Version

9:46 AM  
Blogger Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Ralph's re-written song lyrics are painfully funny and painfully hitting close to home!

9:59 AM  
Blogger goldennib said...

Ralph's new songs are funny.

And I am sad that the May flowers didn't make it.

1:30 PM  
Anonymous BOOMj said...

Just thought I would let you know about a new website dedicated to baby boomers called BOOMj.com that your readers may be interested in. There are many nice sections (health, music, movies, finance, travel etc.) where you can meet new people as well as keep up on all the latest news, tips and goings on in the world. You guys should check it out if you feel so inclined. See ya.


BOOMj

4:26 PM  
Blogger patterns of ink said...

All great songs. When is K-Tel coming out with the record? =)

7:55 PM  
Blogger FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

I agree. I still do prefer the old songs. They are more soothing and pleasing to listen. They are peaceful and calm. Not that I don't like the new songs but the younger ones are more of noise than music.

10:29 PM  
Blogger Tina Dray said...

very funny songs Dr John
hope you and betty are both keeping well

12:56 AM  
Blogger Alastair said...

Loved the songs...

Perhaps we should do a few to sum up the Church...
'We can't work it out - the Beatles'
'All you need is love, and a good sound doctrinal basis from which none may deviate - The Beatles'
'A little help from my faith - The Beatles (again)'
'Turn, Turn, Turn (or Burn) - The Byrds'
'I still haven't found the type of Church I'm looking for - U2'
'While my Pastor gently weeps - George Harrison'

What do you think?

5:44 AM  

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