Saturday, March 07, 2009

Raven's Challenge 53

Today's Link
Oh My Bob

Today's Saying
Happiness held is the seed; happiness shared is the flower. ~Author Unknown

Today's Picture
Aunts Ida, Viola, Jen and my Mom

It is Saturday and time to play with words supplied by Raven's Wordzzle
This Week's Ten Word Challenge will be: chopping block, reading list, bangles, oracle, plan, fandango, spelling bee, calendar, utilitarian, flower pot
Mini Challenge: Siberia, citrus fruit, roofer, shamrock, twinkle twinkle little star

The Mega Challenge in the Ongoing Adventures off Agent 012
“Let me introduce myself Agent 012” the just materialized being said. “ My name is Mega Evil and I come from the very depths of Siberia. From the look on your face I can see that you don’t believe in demons but that makes no difference because I plan to destroy you anyway. For years you have thwarted the plans of those who have earned our support because of ceremonies like those carried on in this vary room. We have tried to destroy you before but our greatest oracle Shamrock, an Irish demon, was unable to tell us where you would be. But today your luck has run out. Today you will be destroyed and thrown aside like a broken flower pot.” As he said this a machine gun suddenly appeared in his hands aimed at Agent 012.
Feeling it was now justified Agent 012 fired his buckle gun and the bullet hit the demon in the stomach. This caused the demon to spin around and wave his arms. With a little music and some bangles it would have resembled a traditional fandango .Agent 012 heard this weird noise and saw the lead from the bullet pouring onto the floor and burning a hole in the carpet.
“Do you know how much that hurts”, the demon asked” And you have ruined the carpet in my worship center. I was going for a utilitarian solution where I shoot and you die quickly but now you have to suffer. I could give you a reading list of the horrible things I’m going to do to you.” He waved his hand and a chopping block appeared.” I got this from an old roofer who cut wood for heat . Where he is now he’ll never be cold again so he doesn’t need it.. I use it to chop off fingers and toes and sometimes a nose. The last time I used it I made the guy recite twinkle twinkle little star while I started on his fingers and slowly chopped up to his elbow. That was so funny.”
Agent 012 was not laughing. He knew he was going to die and he really disliked pain. He waited for his life to flash before his eyes but instead he kept looking at the calendar and thinking I’m going to miss my son’s spelling bee next week and he really wanted me there.
The demon paused to eat what looked like some kind of citrus fruit. “ Okay! “ he said, “ Let’s get started. Shall I do an arm or a leg first?” he asked as a very wicked looking axe appeared in his hands.
This was definitely not Agent 012’s day.
The Ten Word Challenge-Will to Disappoint
Greetings! My name is Hegvick Horlander and I am despondent. It all started when my very very rich uncle died about three weeks ago. This was the Uncle I did everything for. I was his free chauffeur , his grocery delivery boy, and his odd job man. I really liked the old guy. I felt bad because his two lazy no good sons never even called home let alone visited. So I took care of him.
When he died I really expected he would leave me some of the millions. You know a token million or two. But no he leaves all his money to the two sons. What a kick in the head. Not that he left me nothing . I have a reading list of things he left me.
Let’s see: there’s a chopping block, a big one. I don’t even have a fireplace and have gas heat. A really utilitarian bequest that is.
Then there’s the recorded fandango music and the bangles to go with it. My least favorite kind of music.
I must also mention the 1989 calendar, the book on how to win a spelling bee, and an empty flower pot. The pot doesn’t even have dirt.
The one other item might be worth something. It is an ivory statue of a woman with arms outstretched and her mouth open. On the base are engraved letters spelling the word “oracle”. I might be able to dump that on e-Bay for a buck or two.
So you can see why I’m discouraged. I deserve more. I really do.
Having told you that I feel better. You know I really liked the old guy and I wasn’t trying to get his millions. I sort of forgot that. I guess these items meant something to him and he wanted me to have them. I plan on treasuring them always.

The Mini Challenge-Twinkle Twinkle Little Daughter
Nancy felt that she would go insane if her daughter recited twinkle twinkle little star one more time. This was as her daughter would say the zillionth time and a zillion and one was about to start.
This had not been a good week for Nancy.
The roofer told her she needed a new roof and gave her a teterrimous quote that only the Horlander Guy who was winning all those millions in the state lottery could afford. But then she didn’t have her own private oracle like the rumors said he did’
No! She had “ Twinkle Twinkle” and that was about it.
She was the fifty first person to bring in a shamrock from the grocery store add and, of course, you had to be among the first fifty to get the free bag of citrus fruit.
She was sure if she ever won a trip it would be five days in beautiful Siberia. That’s the way her luck ran for horrid to hitonious.
But then the mellifluous voice of her lovely daughter broke into her thoughts.
“ Mommy listen” she said. And began “ Twinkle Twinkle” all over again.

All fifteen words in one sentence
The great roofer from Siberia, Shamrock Bangles ,danced a fandango while reciting twinkle twinkle little star and juggling a chopping block, a flower pot, some citrus fruit, and a spelling bee reading list as part of his not very utilitarian plan to get on the new reality show Oracle.

News from Pigeon Falls
The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal
It is Saturday and time to look back over the week in Pigeon Falls
Monday-This was the beginning of a horrid week for Petrovich bordering on the hitonious. His microfilm reading machine made this teterrimous noise and quit working. This meant he couldn’t translate any more driblets until it was repaired and made its usual mellifluous sounds. If it works they are mellifluous to his ears. And if that wasn’t bad enough he stopped in to Nancy’s where a lady in the most opprobrious manner berated him for predicting the end of the world. When he asked in what quondam life he had done this she used the worst causistry he had ever heard to prove it. Then his isangelous twins got sick and he and his wife like ordinary volgivagant parents were up all night caring for them. In the morning he got a request from what he considered to be a cynicocratical town council to explain this end of the world thing. Even with his perspicacious ability to explain how do you explain a driblet you never translated and that doesn’t exist? He could have gone down to the town council meeting but he was afraid it would only cause a fracas. He should have taken up numismatics like his farther had dreamed for him.
On Tuesday he got his daughters to sleep by playing a song on his zither about the apanthropinization of a man with a paucity of human contact. At times he felt like that man.
Wednesday– For the first time in many weeks there was no fracas at the Fly Inn. The new full time constable sat at the bar the entire night waiting for the fight to start but it never did. It looked for a moment that something might start when Perceival Pemberthy confronted the constable and said” The dang government won’t let a man have any fun anymore”. It looked like he was going to take a swing at him but then Perceival passed out. “That man never did have any castuali “ the bartender observed.

Wrap UP
I love Saturdays. I started the morning reading wordzzles and wishing I could write like that. Then I tried to burn A dVD but my computer has some problems. But then we went out. We left the Fortress. There was a touch of Spring in the air. We went and bought saffron, not much. They wanted $ 121 for 1/4 ounce. We bought one gram. Then it was off to Circuit City where I picked up a Lexmark high yield color cartridge for half price. We made two other stops and then went to Golden Corral for lunch. After that we made one stop at Sam's club and then back to the Fortress. I visited the blogs that left comments yesterday . Now I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger Lu' said...

Ha those were good. That 15 word was surely a mouthful. Have a good weekend :)

5:00 AM  
Blogger Living on the Spit said...

Those words always make my brain want to explode!!!

You are amazing!

5:27 AM  
Blogger Nessa said...

Story#1 - That is one mean demon. He needs a whooping. I hope 012 gives it to him.

Story#2 - That's why I don't help any millionaires.

Story#3 - Kids have a way of making you feeling better.

Pigeon Falls - Don't you ate it when drunks pass out; D?

Love the variety.

7:12 AM  
Blogger Finding Pam said...

Now, we get to see the dark side of Dr. John? I love the belt bullet.

I enjoyed all the stories. You are a word wizzard.

I am glad that all is well in Pigeon Falls, for today.

7:16 AM  
Blogger aims said...

I am always impressed and humbled by someone who uses and understands - words.

*loud clapping*

7:34 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

Mmm mmm mm! Such a preponderance of
ostrobogulous words in these concinnous capilotades. I do hope that Petrovich is able to elaqueate himself from the erinaceous Town Council. If there is no driblet then he should have no problem with floccinaucinihilipilification. Right?

7:49 AM  
Blogger Akelamalu said...

The mega was stupendous! oracle Shamrock, an Irish demon was very clever. All three flowed beautifully and the 15 words in one sentence was clever. :)

8:13 AM  
Blogger Raven said...

Brilliant as always. I have faith that Agent 012 will escape the demon and get to that spelling bee. I'm so glad the Oracle turned out to be such a good gift (I had a feeling it might). Interesting series of inheritances the past couple of weeks. Your 15 word was way clever... Well they were all way clever. Bravo!

9:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am pretty good with word meanings but I grabbed the Oxford when I looked at this entry.

I love the picture. That is a "time period" I enjoy photos from. I throw a lot of things away, most things, but not old pictures like that. ~Mary

10:26 AM  
Blogger juliana said...

ha! so the oracle made horlander's uncle rich and now it's doing the same for the new owner!
brilliant stuff!

11:15 AM  
Anonymous quilly said...

Oh My Bob! Zerilda is a friend of mine! Her blog is a riot -- literally. Take tear gas with you when you visit there. And hankies to soak up all the laughter.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Richard said...

Fingers and Toes and Sometimes a Nose! 012 is deep in the doo doo now.

11:45 AM  
Anonymous quilly said...

Your 15 words in one sentence was perfection! Surely the dragons will pick you as the Wordzzle winner this week, even if you are disqualified because they live on your computer!

12:14 PM  
Anonymous Thom said...

Excellent as usual Sir. And the photo is priceless

12:32 PM  
Blogger Zerilda The Superfluous Blogger said...

I am DEEEPLY honoured to be linked. Thank you so much!

I have to say that Shamrock Bangles is about as fantastic a name as it gets. with that kind of name, you can only be a roofer OR lead a band and take roofers.

I have a coping method for twinkle twinkle that is : when they start, *I* start with an alternative version, ie 'Twinkle twinkle little Jenny, how I love your shiny penny...' and so on. Then they carry on trying to make new songs in that verse. It's great.

Lovely pieces.

2:35 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

Gee, Agent 012 never seems to have a good day... though he does seem to come put on the good side of things as I hope he does this time too.

Horlander did get the raw end of the deal, though no one ever said life was fair.

A zillion and one times would drive anybody crazy, sheeeesh!

And that '15 word sentence' as always amazes me how you do it.

Sounds like all is about 'normal' in Pigeon Falls today.

Great job of writing and using all the words and phrases, Dr. J.

5:17 PM  
Blogger Alice said...

Gee, Agent 012 never seems to have a good day... though he does seem to come put on the good side of things as I hope he does this time too.

Horlander did get the raw end of the deal, though no one ever said life was fair.

A zillion and one times would drive anybody crazy, sheeeesh!

And that '15 word sentence' as always amazes me how you do it.

Sounds like all is about 'normal' in Pigeon Falls today.

Great job of writing and using all the words and phrases, Dr. J.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Melli said...

I BEG your PARDON sir! But looking PAST the risque'... I do believe there was an abundance of bizarre and INTERESTING words used! Perhaps I misunderstood the definition... My humblest HUMBLEST apologies!

And the latest word verification word is: wasolerb

5:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the first story. It kept my attention. I want to know what happens to Agent 012.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I love Saturdays too! You are way too smart for me!
Love U

7:21 PM  
Blogger bettygram said...

How will agent 012 get out of this one?

9:32 PM  
Blogger Carletta said...

I fear for Agent 012 this time. I can't see how he can possibly get out of this but I'm sure he will.
Your use of bangles and fandango made me smile.
Huge all in one sentence - masterful!

10:45 PM  
Blogger tsduff said...

Since saffron is made from the stamens of crocuses, it takes a lot of flowers to make a gram. I love saffron.

3:38 PM  

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