Monday, October 06, 2008

Mommy Wi9zdom

Today's Link
Diary of a Hope Fiend

Saying for the Day
Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. ~Author Unknown

Picture of the Day
(From the Archives)

Mommy Wizdom
has offered this word challenge and today it replaces my usual Monday is me.
So, this is the assignment:

Themes to choose from:
A visit by your mother in law
Bedtime Stories
Raising a Teenager

Your job is to write a story (true or made-up), poem, song, letter... whatever strikes you ABOUT one of the three themes. You must INCLUDE all 10 words. Wild cards words may be used in addition to or in place of the main 10 words.

The words: Ostrich, goosebumps, magazines, soup, cats, lethargic, noodles, tequila, doorknob, biscuit
Wild card words: prehistoric, Jedi Knight, cactus, periscope, humor

Agent 012 was scared. He was really scared. Not the kind of scared he got when on assignment. Not the kind of scared he got when the ostrich loaded with explosives came running toward him. No this was a different kind of scared. This kind of scared gave him goosebumps. It really did.
The agency gave him the day off because his mother-in-law was coming to visit. In a few moments she would step off the bus and hand him a stack of magazines. She always handed him a stack of magazines. The first time he met her she handed him a stack of magazines. It was a mystery where all those magazines came from. Then she would hand him the two cages with the lethargic cats. She always handed him the cages with two cats. She was as predictable as can be. And that’s what scared him. Next would come the question “ What is it you do for a living? I forget”. Then he would tell her he was the bookkeeper at Noodles, the soup and biscuit shop ( An Agency front). At that she would pull out the little bottle she always carried and take a swig of tequila. Followed by the remark “ And you’re the best my daughter could do”. This is the point where he was afraid he would lose it and the little gun in his belt buckle would go off and she would be out of his life forever. But he held it in. He knew he only had to wait until he turned the doorknob at his house and then the kids would grab Nana and he’d be free. Finally they reached the doorknob. He turned it and held the door open for his mother-in-law. That’s when he saw the note. “ Have gone to boys baseball game . Entertain ma until we get home.”
This wasn’t going to be his day.

Try Number Two for people who just can’t choose a theme

My teenagers were in a panic because my mother-in-law was coming. Not that they didn’t love Nana but she insisted on reading those stupid bed time stories. She didn’t seem to understand they weren’t four or five tears old anymore. It’s hard enough raising a teenager without this.
She always read the same bed time stories ;” Oscar the Lethargic, Prehistoric, Ostrich”, “Goosebumps the Cats in the Soup”, “Noodles and the Golden Doorknob” and “Biscuit,Biscuit, Biscuit ‘.She thinks my boys love those stories.
I guarantee you that the magazines my sons are hiding under their mattress so their mother can’t find them have more articles about tequila than soup and not a single cat or biscuit.. As a point of fact the one I looked at didn’t have a single biscuit recipe but it did have directions on how to make a periscope to look in the girls locker room and disguise it as a cactus. When I asked my young Jedi Knights how the periscope was coming they looked at me like a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. They have no sense of humor. So I made a deal with them. If they would pretend to enjoy whatever story Nana read when she arrived for the visit I wouldn’t tell their mother about the magazines.
Sometimes it’s just plain hard work being both a parent and a son-in-law.

News from Pigeon Falls
The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal.
The Mary Maxim filmfest on Saturday began with “The Tall Man Rises High” . The story of the great detective called the Tall Man who is accused of shooting his mother-in-law when she came to visit. She was found on the floor next to a broken bottle of Ostrich Tequila, the Tall Man’s favorite drink. It was covered with his fingerprints. That and his lethargic answers when questioned got him arrested. His wife, sure that he shot her mother, took the cats and left. This left his secretary, played by Mary Maxim to try to save him. She found the clue in the cactus and the fingerprint on the underside of the doorknob.
On her way to share the information with the police she stopped for soup and a biscuit. That’s when the real killer tried to poison her by putting poison noodles in her soup. It gave you goosebumps and you wanted to holler “Don’t eat the soup”.
When the picture ended at the late showing a lady walked out on the stage from the left looking just like the secretary in the movie. “ I’m Mary Maxim she said and I want to thank you all for coming to this film festival. Then she walked off on the left.
The next film “Grandma Raises Rabbits” was filled with the kind of humor that causes you to almost fall off your chair laughing or to blow soup out your nose. In it Grandma, played by Mary Maxim reads to her grandchildren bedtime stories from kids magazines. But grandma keeps imagining she is in the story. So we see grandma with the ostrich that finds and sits on the prehistoric egg. The dinosaur hatches and chases her down the stree t stopping only to eat a couple of lethargic cats. As she runs down the street she tries one doorknob after another but every door is locked. At that point she comes back to reality and decides that that story is too scary so she reads the story of Goosebumps and Noodles, two biscuit eating rabbits. Her adventures with the rabbits make up most of the remainder of the movie.
When the movie ended a woman who looks just like the Grandma in the picture enters from the right. She says “ Good evening again. I am Mary Maxim and I’m glad you came to see my films. Then she walked off to the right.
You all know about the last movie “The Tall Man Rises High” where the Tall Man juggles his raising of two teenagers with his job as a detective. It is enough to say it does not have an ostrich, cats, magazines, soup, noodles or biscuits. But it did give you goosebumps unless you are terribly lethargic. Unlike the other Tall Man movie a doorknob does not feature in the solution. In the movie he quits drinking tequila to set an example for his teenagers.
When the movie ended a young woman looking like the secretary came out from the left and an old woman looking like the grandma came out from the right. Together they said “ I an Mary Maxim and I want to thank you for coming.
Then Tommy UK came out , They both can’t be Mary Maxim he said. So he asked the audience for a show of hands . Half thought the young one and half thought the old. Them Tommy UK said “ Will the real Mary Maxim please step forward. There was a pause and the young lady stepped forward. But then she removed her wig and her special make up and it was Mrs. Trumble. Who then said. I used to be Mary Maxim but now I’m Mrs. Trumble. The other Mary Maxim is my niece and is a lot younger than she looks at the moment.

Wrap Up
A very good day. I got to play with w3ords and my oxygen levbel was up. What a great day. In the morning I visited all the blogs that made stories from the same words. They were so much better. Then I updated the Sermon and the Bible Study on St. Mark's Website. In the afternoon we worked on the layout. If we can continue at this rate we will finish the second module by Friday. If you missed learning about me go to Betty's blog she has a meme all about me. Now I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger Janvangogh said...

Tommy UK should have gotten Bud Collyer or Gary Moore to show up and moderate.

4:53 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Those were really fun to read! I loved the first one - too funny about the baseball game. And the second one was great with the deal at the end. Very enjoyable!

6:05 AM  
Blogger Dragonstar said...

Two great, inventive stories, which I enjoyed greatly!

Also, a very clever ending to the Mary Maxim story - neat. They can all stop wondering and gossiping now (at least, until next time!)

8:23 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

Ohhhhhhh wow! You are just a story genius! So now your mixed up in TWO word challenges per week? Mmm Mmmm! I don't know how you DO it! I struggle with getting the Wordzzle done!

That Mayor! Well... I'll beeeeee! She is something isn't she!? No wonder she keeps this town hoppin! She keeps her LIFE hoppin!

9:21 AM  
Blogger IamwhoIam said...

Well good reads and fun stories, but lets face it your an overacheiver. Thanks for playing.

9:35 AM  
Blogger William ~ The Old Fart said...

Poor Agent 012, He should be on a Mission when Mum in Law come to visit.

Wonderful Story, you have such a great imagination.

A Blessed Day is wished for you and Betty.

11:27 AM  
Blogger Sayre said...

Wow! You totally RAN with this, dude! I am truly impressed. And I thoroughly enjoyed your stories. Thanks!

1:01 PM  
Blogger juliana said...

poor agent 012! i reckon this may be his worst assignment ever :)

2:09 PM  
Anonymous MommyWizdom said...

Thanks so much for playing along, Dr. John. I really enjoyed your stories. Will the real Mary Maxim please stand up!?


2:14 PM  
Blogger karisma said...

I liked the first one the best! Great stories all round!

5:10 PM  
Blogger Woodlandmama said...

I liked them both. You are very talented to take on two topics.

5:25 PM  
Blogger Margaret said...

I had to run over and visit Betty's blog. I love learning all about you.

6:21 PM  
Blogger Raven said...

Congrats on having such a good day. Great stories all. I especially liked the first one.

7:21 PM  
Blogger jsi said...

An ostrich loaded with explosives - I may never ever get that image out of my head.
You are a crack-up riot! Those were cool stories.
Thanks for sharing.

10:17 PM  
Blogger NariceatL4 said...

Oscar the Lethargic, Prehistoric, Ostrich!! I am still snickering over that one--you just popped it in so unexpectedly! Hilarious! I enjoyed reading all the stories! Now I've got to go over to the other blog and learn more about you, as invited!

10:28 PM  
Blogger Gattina said...

Hahahaha ! that was great ! I am still scared that I could meet a "the ostrich loaded with explosives came running toward me" !!! after all I meet ostriches every day !

11:16 PM  
Blogger I'm Toni said...

Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my story - and yes, it is true.

I loved all of yours! I love Oscar the Lethargic, Prehistoric Ostrich - made me laugh out loud!

keep taking your breathing treatments!
toni (respiratory therapist in previous life)

5:32 AM  
Anonymous grace said...

I LOVED your mother-in-law story!!

11:26 AM  
Blogger Tiggerlane said...

Okay, THREE stories? You KNOW we don't get graded on these, don't you?

I'm duly impressed. Wow. And now I feel like a totally sucky blogger.

1:02 PM  
Blogger Chandira said...

Thanks for the link love! :-)

Great storytelling..

4:42 PM  

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