Wednesday, October 22, 2008

A Bear Tale not Tail

Today's Link
Midlife by Farmlight

Saying for the Day
I think that people who can't believe in fairies aren't worth knowing. ~Tori Amos

Picture of the Day

Well boys and girls, men and women, and anything else that reads this blog this is not just the time of falling leaves and pretty trees it is also ,despite all of your wishes to the contrary, time for another elf tale. It begins as all good tales do “ Once upon a time:
Long. long, long ago on a planet far , far, far away a small band of thinking , talking bears struggled to survive . They were the last of their kind, survivors of the great protocol wars. Until then humans and bears had lived in harmony with one another each protected by the Great Protocol. Then despite the insistence of the humans that the bears violated the Protocol first the preponderance of evidence would indicate it was all part of a human plot to take the planet for themselves. As Barney’s grandfather always said ”You just can’t trust a human being unless they are dead.”
Be that as it may the meticulous official history written by the humans (winners write the history) claims the war began when a large black bear stole an opulent gold clothes pin from the Wonderland Museum during , of all things, the build-a-bear workshop. This was seen as a slap in the face to human attempts to get along a kind of “man bites dog” event. The human media played it up big and soon roving bands of humans armed with the latest weapons were killing bears everywhere. The poor bears taken by surprise didn’t stand a chance.
Looking back and trying not to say anything disparaging about humans it should have been obvious that the story was untrue. Bears, you know, don’t even wear clothes and have no need of clothes pins. But humans have this need to go to war and desperately needed an excuse. This was as good as any. President Small Tree had called the human world to avenge this insult and they did. Oh Yes! They did.
So Barney and the Terror Bears, the title given by President Small Tee, were the last of the talking bears. They struggled to hide their young and to fight back where they could. But they were badly outnumbered and their weapons were vastly inferior.
Poor Barney , however, had the ability to destroy every human on the planet but being a pacifist couldn’t bring himself to do it. He could not bring himself to take a human life except in defense of other bears.
It all began when he found the lipstick stain on the smoky quartz rock and he knew that some human had penetrated their defenses. He found her sitting by a tree and crying. She was so lost. One of Barney’s counterparts was about to rip her limb from limb when Barney intervened. “She’s not a soldier” he said.” She won’t hurt us. Don’t become like the humans and just kill to kill”.
So he saved her and escorted her back to where she could find her own people.
That’s when the short green bear showed up. It was of course an elf and it gave Barney one wish.
That was his problem. He could wish all the humans dead. Didn’t grandpa always say “ The only good human is a dead human”. But surely there must be some good humans. They can’t all be warlike. Can he kill the good with the bad? But time was running out . Humans were massing a huge army to sweep through and kill every last bear. He couldn’t allow that either. What should he do? What would the Great Creator of all bears have him do?
To be continued

News from Pigeon Falls
The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal.
Pigeon Ekola is getting everything ready for the grand opening of the Happy Pigeon Bar and Restaurant. He has lined up his bartenders including the very popular Kirk Yugug who used to be the Saturday night bartender at the Fly Inn. He has lined up his cooks for the restaurant including the best pasty cook in town. According to Pigeon this will be the greatest Bar and Restaurant this side of New York. You eat and drink in luxury just like the fanciest New York establishment but with Pigeon Falls prices. The food will be every bit as good as that served in the finest restaurants but will be real food and not that fancy stuff with French Names. The Grand Opening is set for Friday. He intends to have a band playing outside all day long.
Poor Nancy , the ghost groupies are driving her nuts. She put in the fifteen minutes to a cup of coffee rule and so every fifteen minutes they are buying another cup of coffee. Her regular patrons, the one’s that keep her supply of local information fresh are being kept out. The least they could do is buy a saffron roll with the coffee. But they aren’t there to eat or drink but to watch the poltergeist in action. So today she put in a new rule. The second cup of coffee will cost $10.00. That should end the nonsense.
Willie , the town drunk, is promising to stay sober. He says he is never going to drink again. This is the fourth time he has made that promise but he says this time he means it. The town is just going to have to get a new official drunk.

Wrap Up
Not my best day. Oxygen was down a bit. Had some trouble getting the blog done iin the morning. Tried to call Time Warner to talk about some problems with the bill but they wouldn't talk to me because I didn't know the last four digits of Pennie's social security number and the account is in her name.She is at a conference in Madison. In the afternoon we thought we could quickly put together the new control center for the entire layout but we were much slower and it took all of our time to get it together but not installed. I visited some blogs. Now I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger Dragonstar said...

Nancy should copy the museum. She could rope off an area labelled "Ghost Watchers" or something, and have them pay a high price for an all-morning ticket which could include coffee and a saffron roll. Then keep the other tables free for normal customers.

4:15 AM  
Blogger Janvangogh said...

Willie is going to be the first in line when the Happy Pigeon opens and he will order The Driblet. Going from the town drunk to the new town seer will give him some self confidence.

By the way, are you sure Kirk doesnt spell his name Yuglug instead? Would seem a more fitting name for a bartender (You Glug)

5:32 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

Well... I had an idea for Nancy - but having read Dragonstar's idea, I like IT much better! Get out the rope!

Can the Happy Pigeon SERVE a Driblet? Or would they have to name it something else? I'm so not up on the official rules of bar keeping....

6:05 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

I feel for Nancy.

9:29 AM  
Blogger juliana said...

i hope barney the bear finds an adequate solution...

12:07 PM  
Blogger The Old Fart said...

Lets hope Barney the Bear can come to some peaceful resolve President Small Tee and save all of the Critters including the Humans. Somehow I can see the young girl with the lipstick helping.

Will look forward to the next installment next week.

A Blessed Day is wished for you and Betty.

12:16 PM  
Blogger QUASAR9 said...

I thought bears used to wear a bearskin - and expensive ones too.

12:52 PM  
Blogger Cindy said...

Pigeon needs to come visit the Birdwalk Inn in Ashford Hollow, NY. It got its' name because the Indians used to say that the area was so pretty the birds walked through instead of flying over.

2:25 PM  
Blogger Caution Flag said...

I just read your road to ministry link. What an interesting journey you've had! Will there be more chapters?

5:06 PM  
Blogger Russell said...

Most interesting... what's a bear to do?! I will be back to see!

I was interested in the control center for your train layout. Years ago I had an HO layout - if you can call the basic oval with a small siding a layout! But you got to start somewhere! I had a 4 x 6 layout so it was a touch bigger than the traditional 4 x 8 on plywood.

That layout was taken down to make room for horse saddles and other tack back when my daughter was riding horses. Since she has been gone I have been promising to get the train up and going again but have not many any progress.

I will return to see how your stories unfold! I will admit, though, I have my doubts about Willie's good intentions...!

8:53 PM  
Blogger Carletta said...

An elf tale that I'm actually getting in on at the very beginning!
Can hardly wait to see what Barney does.

Hope the rest of your day went well. I hope to be checking in earlier tomorrow since it's almost midnight now.

8:54 PM  
Blogger Jeannelle said...

Hi.....I don't know you, but you linked to my blog, so thank you! Caution Flag of The Human Race 600 blog mentioned it to me. Greetings from Iowa!

10:35 PM  
Blogger Melli said...

Awwww... I'm HONORED that you stopped by MY blog yesterday! I sure didn't leave much for you... I hope you have a MUCH better day today! GBYT!

7:29 AM  

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