Anger step seven in grief
Saying for the day: If you must be angry be angry at God. He will forgive where others may not.
Today and every Sunday for the next three Sunday’s we are looking at the steps in the grief process as described by Pastor Granger Westberg. These steps are:
4. Physical pain
5. Fear or panic
8. We function poorly
9. The breaking in of hope
10. The start of the new life
Of all the steps in grieving anger is probably the worst .
Deep inside we are angry because we have lost somebody we love, or because our life has to change.
We did not want this to happen. It is unfair.
The problem with anger in grieving is that it has no object.
It is just there.
So we assign it an object.
We become angry at the doctor for not saving him.
Or we become angry with the funeral director because of the way the funeral was handled.
It could be we become angry with the Pastor for the way he handled things.
All of that is not so bad.
But many people turn their anger on family.
I have seen many nice families tear themselves apart after a death.
They say things that should never have been said.
They make accusations.
All because they didn’t understand where the anger was coming from.
I tell people when you become angry after a death become angry at God.
Now that sounds odd for a clergy person to say but it makes sense.
When the grief is over God will still love you.
However, if you turn on your relatives they may not.
God knows your grieving and God understands.
God will forgive you.
If you must get angry God is the very best target.
You can of course, since you now know that the anger comes from the grief, say to yourself “ I am angry because I am grieving . It is nobody’s fault and I don’t have to blame anybody”.
If you do that it will pass.
You can even ask God to help you.
News from Pigeon Falls– The little town in my backyard where trains still run and little old ladies carry shotguns.– Dr. Fortress wants to get the trains running again and so he is going to try blowing up that section of the mountain rather than putting in a new tunnel. He thinks it will be much faster.
Dr. Fortress brought in a Speeder , which is like a small car on the tracks, to ride out and look at the tunnel. While he was up talking to Eino somebody or something stole it. At first Eino thought it was Tommy, the undertaker’s kid, but the man at the coaking station said that when it went by it was being driven by a big White Rabbit in a blue sweater. The Rabbit waved at him. He couldn’t see anybodyelse in the Speeder. Later it was found abandoned just where the track starts up to the mounatin. Mrs. Trumble said that people can see what kind of Rabbit this is that goes around stealing people’s property. She seems bound and determined to save Pigeon Falls from the Rabbit. Of course nobody was hurt and Dr. Fortress was only slightly inconvenienced. The mountain waited for him to come.
Mo is back. Remember she was the state inspector who approved the tunnel at Crippled Creek. She is not sure it is a good idea to blow up the mountain. She is afraid it will do something to the springs that feed Crippled Creek and it could go dry. She doesn’t really have the authority to stop the attempt but she has filed a complaint. Her brother , Dr. Fortress, has stopped speaking to her again just like last summer. The Methodist ladies are happy to see her . She makes great pasties. She brought with her a new safron receipe for Nancy.
Today's Link: Categorically Unoriginal- Remember to leave the same old Dr. John in the comment to get those unoriginal JCPOINTS. Check your total HERE.
.Went to Church this morning. I went early enough to have coffee and got to see a lot of people I haven't seen for a time. It was fun having coffee with them. The service was good , the singing great. I even learned some things that I will share in Wednesday's post. After church we went grocery shopping. Ran into the wife of my real estate agent and she said to hang in there. My daughter has a showing of her house today so it could happen. Betty worked on the mountain for a bit. My sister, who doesn't love Bush called to see if we had sold the house. Well I need a breathing treatment.