Wednesday, January 09, 2008

European English :

Saying for the day: It's not important what language you speak as long as you can be understood.

It’s time for a forward from Ralph:

European English :

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f" This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl .

#### News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal. Tonight Petrovich tells the town what will happen this year according to the driblets. People are afraid of what he is going to say. They have had enough weird events to last a lifetime and they don’t think that Petrovich is going to announce that this will be a normal year. He is looked on as a cross between a fortune teller and a wizard, which he was in the common dream.
Also tonight Tommy TW appears on the Tonight Show with David Letterman. People wonder what he will say about Pigeon Falls which is the model for the small town where “ Murder in the Sauna” takes place They hope he makes it clear that people do not get murdered here not even in the sauna.
They almost had a murder once. Mrs. Abrogerne Quall discovered her husband was cheating on her with a waitress from the Fly Inn and she hit him with a heavy iron fry pan. But he survived after spending a short time in the hospital. The District Attorney decided the frying pan had slipped out of her hand and so no legal action was taken. The two of them stayed together and later moved to Florida where he drowned in a mysterious boat accident.
So the town is a little tense between waiting for Petrovich and Tommy TW.

Today's link-Anything Goes- A day in the life of a man an his car
Very good day. Breathing was the best it's been in a long time. I hardly used any oxygen. Betty and I went to Steins and Menards then went grocery shopping. My sister sent a care package of things she picked up when her Menards was clearing them out. All stuff for the layout. In the afternoon I visited all my links and left comments where there were new entries.
Now I need a breathing treatment.


Blogger Janvangogh said...

At least this time Petrovich isnt playing catch up with the driblets. The power of suggestion tho can be a very strong thing.

6:21 AM  
Blogger The Trouble With Roy said...

I love the English joke! I'm going to post it on Gather and I'll link back to your blog!

6:22 AM  
Blogger butterflies said...

Oh MY! its not true is it??
English is so beautiful in all its complications...

7:28 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

Ah, those poor people. English, huh? Funny we haven't spoken in America for years. Professor Higgens is laughing...

7:35 AM  
Blogger Nessa said...

Those Germans have always been very patient in their plans for world domination.

9:11 AM  
Anonymous quilly said...

Any town subject to the influences of Tommy, Tommy and Petrovich should be nervous!

11:51 AM  
Blogger Cindrarella said...

That boating accident doesn't seem quite so 'mysterious' to me!

Time to vote at TGQDC!

1:41 PM  
Blogger Hammett said...

The British government has not changed its currency to Euro... and their writing, I don't think they'd ever agree to that...
If they do, it's gonna be a difficult to change to... hehe.. liked ur article... cheers!! :)

4:29 PM  
Anonymous AtomiK Kitten said...

That Mrs. Quall kind of reminds me of Grandpa Got Run Over by a Beer Truck...Grandpa was cheating on Grandma too.

6:09 PM  
Anonymous Kat said...

Frying pans as weapons...why didn't I think of that!

4:43 AM  
Blogger Nea said...

I am always so glad to hear when you have a good breathing day.

No one here ever told my son that boys can't cry, not even my husband, who still crys during sad movies. But I know that if he were to cry at school, he would get teased, here in the south where MEN are MEN.... yeh.....haha

12:12 AM  

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