Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Woman

Saying for the day: Print something somebody wrote in your e-mail and its called forwarding. In other areas it would be called plagiarism.

Ralph Valine wrote:


Womanhood

I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.


The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.


Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!



Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat."

Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.


A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.


The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him!

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

@@@@ News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and sometimes the lost is found.– Pastor Joan’s husband Mike came back from his business trip today. He wondered why she bought a new coat when she had a perfectly good coat hanging in the back bedroom closet, upstairs. He knew it was there because he put it there himself when he unpacked that box.If this was a test of faith then Pastor Joan passed. She didn’t hit him. She didn‘t swear at him. She didn’t even talk to him for the next hour. On the bright side her new winter coat can stop a bullet.
Those that believe, about a third of Pigeon Falls, that the driblets (sixty two and seventy seven) hold the answer have been spending a lot of time on Petrovich’s Website. They have concluded that Mrs. Elanor Peabody , is the woman ofpower, She heads the power company and has that jacket with the crossed lightning symbol. They look for an answer to where she should sin and what? The driblet seems to say she should sing in the East but that makes no sense since he town lays out North to South.
A couple of local business men are looking at the possibilities if the snow doesn’t go away. They would put some money into the ski hill , making it longer and better. They would build a world class resort to go with it . They could guarantee the conditions all year long.. People would flock to Pigeon Falls. It would be more popular than Aspen. Of course the potato farmers would be out of luck, can’t grow potatoes in snow, but that’s the price of progress,
******

Today's Link- Spilling Coffee- Sometimes it's interesting.
I have been sick all day. I got nothing done. Betty got the kids off to school. I had trouble with this computer. All the pictures that were with this entry vanished. I couldn't retrieve them.It will be so nice when I get back on my regular computer, Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

15 Comments:

Blogger Janvangogh said...

Well, it would seem that the phrase should be "Sing song from Vicki East". But apparently song and Vicki do not fit in with the coptic words. Tho if they could translate sing, you would think they would be able to translate song.

Has Mrs. Peabody even offered to sing anything, let alone a song from Vicki East.

Hmm, maybe the townsfolk should be asking any other members of the East family whether or not they have any songs that might work.

6:24 AM  
Blogger Margaret said...

Another great forward from Ralph. I'll have to agree with the skinny people when they say they "forgot to eat." I used to do that.

When I was single, I was working, busy, bustling around having fun and often it would be 10pm and I'd realize that I didn't eat. I was also quite thin.

Then came marriage and a child. Today I'm quite fat and that is because I have two people who remind me three times a day that they need to eat and so do I.

Except for some odd reason they are skinny and I'm the one gaining weight. Go figure?

(Another Guess for 953 Blog Entry will be 10/27/07.)

6:41 AM  
Blogger Stacy said...

Thanks for the laugh! I only have a few minutes to play on the computer today and it was worth it for that.

8:28 AM  
Blogger Worldman said...

Hello Dr. John. I have not much to say, it is beautiful as usual. I have put something on my blog for you. I will be pleased if you like it.

9:10 AM  
Blogger Mimi said...

A great forward I have yet to get. But I have gotten every other one about 10 times at least.

Have a great day!

10:42 AM  
Anonymous quilly said...

So, why was Ralph running in pantyhose in the first place? You do have interesting friends, Dr. John.

1:16 PM  
Blogger QUASAR9 said...

lol Dr John, I was going to say something about 'women' but after I read:

A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

and

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

I was left with nothing to add

3:27 PM  
Blogger QUASAR9 said...

Well women & mothers
That's how we all got here
Even bin laden had one

3:28 PM  
Blogger ArtsyTartsyViray said...

Ralph always has the funniest forwards!

3:46 PM  
Blogger - PRACTiCAL CHiCK said...

And in that case we might not want to see the muffin top that comes with it..

4:23 PM  
Blogger Louisiana said...

i'm so, so, sorry to hear you are ill. i do hope and will pray that you feel better soon.

computers are a wonderful thing as long as they are working properly aren't they? if they are having issues they are very, very frustrating. i'm sorry you had problems with the blog and the pics. i hope it all gets resolved right away.

and pls, pls try to rest tonight and tomorrow. i know it won't be too exciting but maybe you can just watch some tv and rest and sleep extra.maybe you have been overdoing it and you need some extra tlc.

pls say hello to your wonderful and loving wife.

i love you all very much. we all send you hugs galore. xoxooxoxo

9:55 PM  
Blogger bazza27 said...

Once again Ralph excels, I have a friend like Ralph who sends me stuff, but I am not as generous as you Dr John in giving him credit. Just for once I will admit that the current joke on my blog was sent to me by Don.

2:01 AM  
Anonymous loisontheweb said...

PIGEON FALLS ... I didn't want to hear about the cold weather, yet!
You're not allowed to get sick; hope you feel better soon!
LOIS

3:09 AM  
Blogger Nessa said...

Those sayings were funny and true.

Hope you feel better.

3:56 AM  
Anonymous Tom Coffee said...

Thanks for the link! I would argue that my site is only rarely and completely accidentally interesting...

Hope you're feeling better! I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure breathing is something you want to keep doing...

-Tom Coffee

5:47 PM  

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