Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I Rant

Here it is Tuesday and there has been no magic activity in Pigeon Falls.
Chief Ican and Dr. Jim visited the McGregor twins and ruled them out. There simply is no magic there. Now they are just waiting.
Dr. Jim has been given a tour of the town and couldn’t believe it has a poltergeist, a ghost piano player, dragons, people with super power, and a fresh water whale in the winter time. He concluded that this must be the center of some magic zone. He had read about that in theory but this seems like the real thing.
He would love to stay and study the town but as a Protector he might be called away at any time. Pigeon Falls is a low priority project.
Somewhere in Pigeon falls a child says
Яйця зеленого кольору і свиня

I goytta tell ya them Science people got it all over us dumb flat earth lay people type guys.
Take this Global Warming stuff.
Dere was no question da earth was getting warmer.
I mean even us dummies could see that polar ice melting and feel with da poor polar bears.
But to make C02 da cause that was brilliant.
They had dis graph made by a computer and ya know it showed that correlation between the C02 and the warming. Ya it did.
Well it did for a while. But den da warming didn’t keep up with da graph.
Minor glitch they said.
Well even us dumb flat earth people know computer projections aren’t hundirt per cent.
But then C02 kept going up ( ve tried our best to stop it it) but da warming didn’t.
In fact for three years the United States got colder.
Now Europe got dat colder too.
At dis point us dumb flat earth lay people would give up . Possibly C02 isn’t the culprit.
Dumb us.
The Science is settled but the vocabulary needs dat adjustment.
So the scientists gave us Global Climate Change.
Now whatever comes ve can blame dat on C02.
If we freeze den its C02
If we cook then its c02
If there is a draught then C02
If we have a flood C02.
If we have a huricane C02.
If we don’t have many hurricanes C02.
Boy I’m sure glad that science is settled.
Otherwise us dumb flat earth lay people would be looking for other causes . Dumb us
We might think sun spots or magnetic shifts, or big cities.
But we can’t do much bout those.
We can fight dat C02.
I love dat Science.


Blogger Alice (in BC Canada) said...

Hi Dr. J!!
Just for the fun of it, I decided to throw a new game out for every one. It's called: WHAT IS ABOVE YOUR BED????? Thom showed what's on the ceiling ... guess I could have been more specific, lol. What I was getting at was "What is on the wall above your bed?" Ah well... either way is good!! Hope you come visit and bring your friends along.

1:54 AM  
Blogger Dragonstar said...

And I love this post!!!

Small question - how does science expect plants to grow without CO2?

Governments have always wanted to tax the air you breathe .....

1:57 AM  
Blogger Akelamalu said...

So CO2 is the cause then???? ;)

2:26 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

Or maybe it is God shaking his finger at us?
Love Di

5:41 AM  
Blogger PS (PSanafter-thought) said...

I think it is called Climate Change these days. Which still fits, right? Anyway, it is about CLIMATE, not about weather, which is different.

6:19 AM  
Anonymous Alice Audrey said...

A get the feeling Pigeon Falls is about to move up in the proctor's list of priorities.

6:46 AM  
Blogger rhymeswithplague said...

But Dr. John, da climate has always been changing and da climate will continue to change.

Won't it?

I mean unless Jesus comes back first, right?

Those scientists have some nerve.

I think the answer is people should plant millions and millions of trees and people should also have millions and millions of babies because the trees take in carbon dioxide and put out oxygen and the babies take in oxygen and put out carbon dioxide.

I believe Disney Studios called it "The Circle of Life."

But nobody asked me.

Maybe Mother Nature or Mother Nature's God knows what She or He is doing after all.

We might as well admit we don't [know what we are doing].

This has been one man's opinion.

6:53 AM  
Blogger Melli said...

Oh my! That child is really into Dr. Seuss these days! If Dr. Jim sticks around long enough, I'm suuuuuuure that Pigeon Falls will become of MUCH higher priority! THIS particular episode is rather calm and cute compared to SOME stuff that has gone on! He SHOULD have been around for the "showdown"!

Love da rant! We wouldn't want to credit GOD though... or admit there IS a GOD who knows much more about our weather situations than any Geo, Astro or any other physicist... LOL! MY life is so simple! I have the solution to everything!!! I can't wait for the scientists to get it all figured out!

7:21 AM  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi Dr. John, I didn't hear you say if Dr. Jim could translate that childs ranting.
Today he spoke of 'Green eggs and pig.' Do you think Dr. Seuss might have been reincarnated?
I do know that Dr. Jim does not believe in reincarnation. He holds firm to this belief no matter what the cost.
I'm not in much to all the causes of global warming. All I know is that our climate change swings are getting more extreme every year of my life! Scientists don't know the period of a cycle yet as recorded history has not been around long enough for even one cycle.

7:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Da rant was da bomb! Da Peeps gotta love Co2 so dat we can survive. Dat da truth.

Ooo a magic zone...I sure hope dat Dr. Jim gets to that child before he's called away :)

8:55 AM  
Blogger Melissa B. said...

It's so cold here that I could use some global warming for a change!

12:26 PM  
Blogger Jientje said...

Loved this! You're so talented to get a message across.

1:21 PM  
Blogger Trudy said...

I get it..blame C02 for it all, that sound easy enough!

3:02 PM  
Blogger KB said...

It does the soul good to have a wee rant every once and a while. Just don't make a habit of it :)

8:44 PM  
Blogger Gattina said...

Hahaha ! I noticed that too, since Global Warming, we have real cold winters again as we used to have 50 years ago ! and normal summers too nice and hot ! all the other years there was no summer and no winter but always rain ! Honnestly I prefer the weather now !

10:15 PM  
Blogger Gingers Mom said...

Wonderful, Dr. John. Funny, poignant. I am so sick of hearing about global warming.

10:25 PM  
Blogger 小小彬 said...


10:48 AM  
Blogger I LOVE YOU said...


4:03 AM  

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