Thursday, July 31, 2008

Mageath- ATale

Saying for the day:We call them faerie. We don't believe in them. Our loss. ~Charles de Lint

Despite three wishes and two attempted magic spells it is Thursday again or to be more exact it is time for another elf tale. This one begins as they all should:
Once upon a time
there was a little planet that looked just like earth and it was in orbit around a sun that looked like earth’s sun. In fact if you had looked at this little planet from a spaceship it would have looked just like earth and would seem to be in the very same universe. But the truth is that neither the planet or the universe were ours.
If you had landed on the planet you would soon have discovered this for yourself. For this planet had no smog, no polluted lakes, no cars, no trains, no airplanes, no wars, and no countries as we know them.
You would also have discovered that living side by side with man were all the magic creatures including elves , fairies, leprechauns , and ogres. All shared the ability to do magic. The best and most powerful magicians being the elves and humans being the worst. Well in truth ogres were below humans but only because they didn’t care about magic. As long as they had a big club and could bash in each other’s head they were happy.; This is not as bad as it sounds since, as everyone knows, an ogre’s brains are in his feet so bashing in his head really doesn’t cause him any great problem. In fact female ogres were attracted to the males with the most smashed up heads.
Magearth ,as that was the name of the planet, might seem at first glance a wonderful place to live. All you had to do was wave your hand and you had anything you wanted. If you wanted a castle ! You had a castle. If you wanted a five course dinner served on the back of a white rhinoceros you had a five course dinner served on the back of a white rhinoceros. The only question is should the rhino be moving and you eat while walking or running alongside or should it be standing still and you could sit on a golden chair and eat. The choice was yours.
This , of course, meant there were no menial jobs on Magearth . There were no cooks, no street cleaners, no maids, no gravediggers, no assistants to the assistant, and definitely no sewer workers. By the waste disposal convention of 731 RT all waste including that created by bodily functions went immediately into the disposal ring. This was a ring around Magearth like the rings around our Jupiter. Each year it grew a little bigger and a little darker. If you had sent one of those space probes to bring back a sample you would find it contained elf spit, fairy vomit, flying horse manure, and things I can’t bring myself to tell you. But the planet was clean.
You may wonder why they didn’t just zap sewerage out of existence. Magearth was subject to certain magic laws just as our earth is subject to physical laws.
These were compiled by Nicholas The Great Elf in 230 RT . These are the six laws of magic.( So called by Nicholas the Great himself)
1. Nothing can be destroyed.
2. All things can be converted from one thing to another.
3. Anything converted can be restored.
4. All illness can be cured by the right spell.
5. Magic can not penetrate the barrier of time.
6. There is no spontaneous magic ( magic that happens by itself)
Everybody on Magearth knows these laws. They are written in fire on the Great Wall of Magic ( A construct of the Great Nicholas). They were the first message to be imprinted when brainblogs were developed. Every man, woman, child, fairy, elf, leprechaun, and ogre have seen, read, or felt them at some point.
They are the law.
That is why recent events on Magearth are so disturbing.
There seems to be spontaneous magic.
Castles have turned to huts. Often with the owner inside. .
Lakes have frozen over in the middle of summer.
Pigs have grown wings and fly.
Grasshoppers have become as large as elephants.
All yellow birds suddenly turned purple.
Every talking dog on the planet went mute.
Nobody is taking credit for any of this.
But if nobody cast a spell or waved a hand then magic law number six has been broken.
If this were earth a detective would look into the matter but a planet with no crime has no detectives.
On earth scientists would study the problem
But on a planet where there is no need to ask “why?” there is no science.
Fortunately , thus far magic law number 3 still holds and everything has been converted back to the way it was.
To be continued.

News from Pigeon Falls-The little town in my basement where the trains still run, dragons fly, and life is back to normal. Tomorrow at exactly 9:00 in the morning Mayor Trumble will go to the Gazebo in the center of town , tap on the Liar’s Club microphone, and Pigeon Days will officially begin. Then the great Pigeon Falls song will be sung buy Vicki East. People will cry during the singing. Then Mayor Trumble in her most Mayor like voice will read the history of the beginning of Pigeon Falls. After that people will pour little bags of birdseed on the sidewalks of the tow. This is a very old custom that is supposed to give the pourer a year of good luck. It also rewards the pigeons for what their ancestors did. After that the pigeons will swarm in on the sidewalks and help themselves. There are those who swear that pigeons come from all around the county for this day. There just can’t be that many local pigeons. But they do seem to know when August 1st is. It must be built in or something.
The two main stores Wink’s and Kivi&Maki have spruced up for the occasion . They have also ordered the things they thing tourists will buy. They have dragon cups, dragon pins, dragon postcards, and little model dragons. They have whale pin, whale postcards, and little model whales. They don’t know what to do about the White Rabbit. Wink’s has a sweater on the front it says “ The White Rabbit is a hoax— Tammy” but on the back it says “ No it’s real— Tommy UK”. That covers both bases. Wink’s still has some comic books of the great fight between the dragon and the poltergeist it hopes to sell. Since they share the rights with DC comics they are hoping it will be made into a movie.
Nancy has cleaned up all her equipment , pulled out her very best saffron recipes and is praying that the poltergeist will stay away. She also has some of her husband’s first book for sale, signned by the author.
Tammy and Tommy UK have forgiven each other sand have agreed to disagree over the White Rabbit. The Tommy Club is working on a float for the big Pigeon Days parade. It has a man in black riding on a whale. Tommy FK (the farmer’s kid) has talked his father into loaning them his truck and they are working in his barn.
Petrovich who is out of town at the moment has planned a big banner to be carried in the parade. It will lift up Pigeon Falls as the town of the dreams of the great Seer Alexis Grengicoff. He will hire some local boys ( not named Tommy) to carry it.

******

Today's Link-Thoughts of a Father- An award winning commenter
You can see my workers up at the top getting things ready for tomorrow. The big change is coming. I spent a good part of the day getting things ready for that change. I also cooked some bread which did not turn out so well though I have yet to taste it. We packed up Quilly's plaque and gift certificate for the writer's award. We will mail them off tomorrow. I reaed a couple of chapters and I visited most of the links. Now I need a breathing treatment.
GBYA

Crystal Falls today- Borrowed from Lois's blog.
  • 9 Comments:

    Blogger Janvangogh said...

    How did Petrovich get a photo of Grengicoff?

    5:30 AM  
    Blogger Melli said...

    ACK! Corruption of one sort or another has HIT Magearth! How sad... *shakes head*... what WILL they do? Ooooh ... to be inside your head!

    I'm going to get one of those sweatshirts and where it backwards!!!

    7:21 AM  
    Blogger QUASAR9 said...

    Hi Dr John, been a little busy with building work at the villa (and little or no time for the internet or blogging in July)

    A sort of working holiday - lol!

    But I hope to have time to catch up and keep abreast of my favourite blogs in August.

    8:47 AM  
    Blogger QUASAR9 said...

    Who you calling a fairy? - lol

    8:47 AM  
    Anonymous noble pig said...

    I don't know how you are able to come up with this but I want to be where pig's fly.

    9:05 AM  
    Blogger juliana said...

    even magic is not what it used to be... what next?

    9:57 AM  
    Blogger The Old Fart said...

    This is one of the best Elf Tales yet. Can't wait for next week for the conclusion.

    A Blessed day is wished for you and Betty.

    11:32 AM  
    Blogger Dragonstar said...

    And I have to wait a whole week to know what happens to Magearth! At least I get to your festival tomorrow!

    2:18 PM  
    Blogger tsduff said...

    Charles de Lint is on the list of my very favorite authors. Your diversity is amazing. Indeed - sewage in the rings is something I had never considered.

    Love the pictures of Pigeon Falls!

    6:09 AM  

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