Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Fast Forward from Ralph 26- Don't let them reproduce

Ralph Valine wrote:

Just had to share this with you guys, as I think you in particular will enjoy them! Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.


1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....


And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its' men
to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.


3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.


4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wa sn 't discovered for
3 days.


5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he
could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.


6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he man
pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving
the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a
crime committed?)
< size="5">DadCentric-Some thoughts on children's songs by a daddy.- Leave a Dr. John in the comment.
Not as dull a day as yesterday but still dull. I spent the morning working over my links. I cut the number down to twenty eight. These are blogs I like to read and that comment on my blog from time to time. There are about four others I'm thinking of adding. I watched my soaps. I talked to my sister Dawn about the coming wedding of my sister Chris. Chris will visit here on Monday she is getting married on Saturday. I then visited all my links and left comments where I hadn't already left comments on that entry. Now I need a breathing treatment.


Anonymous stacy said...

That last guy really got his just "desserts." Ewww!

I always wondered how Pigeon Falls came to be named. Now I know. I think that song might drive me coo coo.

6:15 AM  
Blogger Janvangogh said...

Sounds like Pastor Helve Tillinen could give Petrovich a run for his money.

6:25 AM  
Blogger goldennib said...

A restaurant owner in Atlanta is on trial because he shot and killed two of his employees for asking for a raise too often.

8:40 AM  
Blogger QUASAR9 said...

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

lol! Understandably so
Isn't Darwinian evolution wonderful
But, Will we ever rise from the mud

11:58 AM  
Blogger QUASAR9 said...

When asked by a Judge whether he should be given a lethal injection

The Muderer with a grin on his face replied "For the atrocity of my many crimes I deserve to die"

So the Judge gave him life without parole - "Suffer you pig"

As the murderer entered the prison he was greeted with "Welcome to the living hell - once you are in there's no getting out"

12:10 PM  
Blogger Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

These are very good.
Thanks for the chuckle.


2:36 PM  
Anonymous quilly said...

Shame on you, Dr. John -- I am in a university library and you have just made me laugh out loud!

4:27 PM  
Blogger Josie said...

Dr. John, I am laughing too hard to post a comment. LOVE it. I read them out to the munchkins, and they're laughing too.


5:25 PM  
Blogger Margaret said...

Very good ads for birth control.

6:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dr. John,

Where was Pigeon Falls today?????

9:22 PM  

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